A Mother's Love
by srp2017
Summary: Christine Slattery had to turn to a life she never thought she would have to keep her last child alive. Very dark, at least to begin with. Mentions of prostitution and abuse.
1. Chapter 1

Lots of warnings with this story. Mentions of prostitution and extreme abuse. First several chapters will be fairly dark. In the beginning it will paint, Tom Chandler in a very bad light. Reviews are welcome!

 **A Mother's Love**

Chapter 1

Christine was desperate. Her oldest daughter, Addison, had died six months before from pneumonia and starvation. Hannah had developed a horrific cough and Christine was terrified of losing her. When Addison had gotten sick, Christine couldn't get medicine or food. A month after Addison had died; Hannah started coughing and would cry from hunger pangs. She had always been such a happy go lucky little girl. She missed her daddy and had asked so many times if Mike had died or didn't love them anymore. Hannah hadn't asked about her daddy for the past month and it made Christine worry that she was forgetting her own father. It would devastate Mike if that was the case. What Christine had done to get food and medicine so their daughter would survive would not only destroy their marriage but would further shatter Mike's heart. She had turned to prostitution. There were no other answers.

People were filtering back into Norfolk. It would never be the same place that it had been before. Prostitution and drug use were rampant. Christine would never turn to drugs. The prostitution was bad enough. She was "managed" by a man only known as Mr. White. Christine didn't think it was his actual name and didn't care to find out his first. She was his favorite "employee." Simply because she would lay down and take whatever he dished out and would do what he demanded. The food and medicine came at a horrific cost. The one advantage to being a favorite was that he didn't force her to have sex with too many clients. She and Hannah lived in a tiny apartment with five other women who were also "employees" and four children. One of the girls was only sixteen, the same age Addison had been when she died. Mr. White had already told Christine that Hannah would be "employed" once she got a little older and developed more. Mr. White turned the sixteen year old out to his rougher clients and when she got back to the house, she would sob in Christine's arms. Lizzie's mother and two siblings had died during the Red Flu and her father had never been involved in her life. Poor Lizzie truly believed that all men were like Mr. White and the clients. Christine would hold her and rock her back and forth and tell her stories about Mike and her own father. She needed to believe that good men existed.

Christine had met Mike when he was a young rookie cop who came to her third grade classroom to give a presentation to the kids. Christine was a student teacher and it had been love at first sight. They dated for six months and marriage was the only thing they both wanted. Christine's dad had been a Baptist minister and had officiated their tiny wedding. He had adored Mike because he knew that Mike would always provide for, protect and love Christine. If her father had lived to see what Christine had become, he would have disowned her. Mike was the only man that Christine had she had ever slept with, at least until Mr. White had "hired" her. She had been proud of Mike being the only one. He was all she had ever wanted. He just wouldn't want her anymore, if he was still alive. He might have found someone else and would have been much better off.

She gave as much of her own food to Hannah and Lizzie as she could. She had never weighed so little and had started to lose hair from malnourishment. There was a global famine going on and while Mr. White could afford to feed the employees well, he used food, housing and medical care to get them to turn more tricks. Christine would completely disassociate herself from what was being done to her when she met with Mr. White or one of the clients. At first she had tried to pretend they were Mike but it didn't work because Mike would have never hurt her like she had been. Mr. White reminded her frequently that she had nowhere else to go and Hannah would starve if she left.

It was unbelievably cold and Mr. White had called wanting her. Hannah was asleep in their tiny twin bed and Lizzie promised to look out for her. It was her night off and so she was happy to watch the ten year old. Christine made her way to his penthouse wearing the requested mini skirt and tight blouse with lingerie underneath. He had been specific about her not wearing a coat or jacket and so she was frigidly cold when she got there and he refused for her to get warmed up first. When she mouthed back at him, he beat her and forced himself on her. He also told her that he would not be sending any food for Hannah. Christine was to eat what he did send and not share it. She was getting too skinny and was becoming undesirable. As she sit on the edge of the bed dressing, he was laying on the bed completely naked. He had snorted some drug off the nightstand and was particularly euphoric.

"I heard tell that some Navy ship was docking for a week here which means you and the other girls need to be ready. Those young sailors have been away for months and will want some action. I am planning on offering you to the officers. That's big money."

"Yes, sir. You need to realize though that the officers don't make that much and it would be against their regulations." Before Christine could say anything else, Mr. White punched her hard in the small of the back. There was a mass of developing bruises. It would ensure that she wouldn't have to turn any tricks until they were healed, at least with clients. Mr. White didn't care.

"Don't talk back, whore. You will meet them at the dock and will let them know that you and the others will be available to turn several tricks a day. You are to specifically target the senior leadership."

"What's the ship name?"

"Nathan James."

Christine was stunned but refused to let on why. The chances of Mike being on the Nathan James were miniscule but there was a tiny sliver of hope. Not for herself but for Hannah. Mike would want to walk away from Christine but he would never walk away from Hannah. He would get her the needed food and medication. Hannah would be better off with him. Mr. White told her to be there when the ship docked and to meet the forward teams the next day at nine am. She didn't let on her association with the Nathan James or the fact that she would be taking Hannah with her. She did let him know that taking Lizzie with her would be a good idea and he agreed. She would convince Mike to take Lizzie with him and Christine would pay the consequences which would be heavy. She was already imagining the beating and it scared her but there was no way that Mike would want her. Mr. White had decided that she would be taking no food home that night.

When she got back to the house, she took a shower because she felt horribly dirty. There was a handful of her hair in the drain and when she stepped on the scale, she weighed eighty nine pounds. She was completely unrecognizable. She put her pajamas on and climbed into bed with Hannah. The tiny girl was running a fever which only made Christine more desperate. Hannah woke up slightly and gave her a small smile.

"Did you get any food, Mommy?"

"No, sweet pea, I didn't. I'm sorry. How are you feeling?"

"My chest feels funny. Like a car is sitting on it. It hurts to breath."

"Okay, I'll try and get you some food and medication tomorrow. Have you said your bedtime prayers?"

"No. I was waiting for you."

"Okay, let's hear them. And don't forget Daddy."

"I hope God has Daddy like he has Addy and Lucas. Why would I need to pray for Daddy if God has him? He's got food and a nice warm bed in heaven."

"Just in case God doesn't have him. Maybe he hasn't died."

"I hope he has. It would be better. I just wish God would get me and you so we could all be together again."

"Oh sweet pea, don't wish that. Let's pray?"

"Okay. Hey, God, it's me, Hannah. I want you to thank you for everything and I want to make sure you're taking care of Addy and Lucas, and if you have Daddy…he doesn't need you to take care of him because he's big and strong but please make sure he isn't sad. If you don't have him, can you please make sure he's happy? Thanks for all the food Mommy gets and my yucky medicine. Please keep taking care of us. I love you, God! Amen." Christine was blinking back tears. The simple prayer had packed a huge punch. Christine offered up her own prayer and rocked Hannah to sleep in her arms. Lizzie shared the bedroom and was sound asleep in her own bed.

One of the other "employees" gave Hannah half a butter sandwich as the promise that Christine gave her name out at the docks. Lizzie had been called away and wouldn't be going with Christine. She bundled Hannah up in her own coat and they headed to the docks. It was like a walk down memory lane for Christine. The last time she had seen Mike and they had been altogether as a family had been at the docks. She had not worn any lingerie or anything particularly sexy because she didn't want it to be immediately obvious what she had become. She was so deeply ashamed.

She could see the destroyer off in the distance and seen the two RHIBs approaching the docks. They were to make sure that it was safe. In all the years that Mike had been in the Navy, Christine had never seen the docks so empty. It was literally just her and Hannah there. A group of young sailors had disembarked the RHIBS and looked around. Christine stood up and grabbed Hannah's hand and approached the one that appeared to be in charge. He was barking orders at the others and barely noticed her but he did smile down at Hannah who was hiding herself behind Christine.

"My name is Christine. I work for the White Group. We offer certain…pleasant experiences and my employer wanted me to meet you here and let you know our services are available…"

"Ma'am, please don't. We are not allowed to do things like that. Our Captain is adamant about what occurs during shore leave."

Christine nodded at him and Hannah started coughing loudly. It was getting worse. The young lieutenant bent down and felt her forehead. His eyes went wide and his jaw dropped.

"Ma'am, that child is burning up. She needs medicine, not to be in this wind."

"Hannah will be okay. I was offering services so I could get her the medicine she needs. I don't want to be here, doing this. Please understand."

Christine hadn't noticed the other man that came up behind the lieutenant. As soon as she looked at him, she recognized him. It was Tom, Mike's best friend. They were as close as brothers. Christine was almost as ashamed of Tom knowing what she had become as what she would be if Mike was alive and found out.

"Christine? Hannah? As in Christine and Hannah Slattery?"

"Tom?"

"Oh my God. How are you here?"

"Sir, uh…I didn't realize who Mrs. Slattery was. She is here on…business."

"What kind of business? Christine, you're a teacher?" Christine looked at her feet and Hannah started coughing again. She was still hiding behind Christine but would occasionally peek out.

"Green? Christine has apparently forgotten how to talk."

"Mrs. Slattery, do you really want me to tell Captain Chandler what services you were offering?"

"Oh my God, Christine! Please tell me…"

"Don't judge me! You convinced Mike to go to the Arctic instead of taking that position in Miami. Lucas and Addy are dead and I have only done this to keep Hannah alive. She's burning up and…and…I can't lose another child. It's because of you that Mike is dead…"

"Christine, Mike isn't…"

Their radios keyed up and Christine heard Mike's clear voice come over the radio asking for a status check. She felt like her heart had stopped. Hannah was still coughing and the hold on her hand was getting weaker.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah?" Tom and Green were looking at her like she was a leper.

"Why is there blood on my hand?"

Christine turned on her heel and knelt down in front of Hannah. Her little nose was bleeding and there was a vein that had popped in her left eye. She heard Green talking into his radio that they would be plus two heading back to the Nathan James and to have a medical team on standby. Tom was standing next to her with his hand on the top of Hannah's head. She could see the judgement in his eyes and she stood back up.

"Look, if you don't want me to go with you, that's up to you. I ask that you take Hannah with you. She needs medicine and food. I know Mike will want her. You know what I am now and I know you will tell Mike. He won't want me but I do know he would never turn his back on his only living child. I will tell you, if I show back up without Hannah and no clients, he will kill me. He's just waiting on Hannah to go through puberty."

"You are both going with us. I don't know how Mike will react but I won't let you get killed. You were Darien's best friend. I am doing this for her and Hannah. Hannah needs her mom despite what you've become and Darien would kick my behind if I didn't let you on that RHIB. She's dead. And Mike does deserve an opinion in the matter. But I promise, I will personally throw you overboard if he can't stand to look at you."

"What has happened to you?"

"I could say the same thing to you. Preacher's daughter, faithful wife and loving mother turned into a who…"

"I am still…"

"You're still a mom and you do seem to love her but faithful wife? I don't think so."

Master Chief had been concentrating on Hannah. She was watching a stray kitten by one of the buildings with a slight smile on her face. He decided to break every regulation in the book and walked over to the kitten, picked it up and tucked it into his pocket. Hannah had seen what he did and gave him the most beautiful smile. He knew she was around ten but she was the size of a six year old. Her hair was thin and limp and she was pale. He decided to put an end to the stupid argument for Hannah's own good.

"Captain Chandler, we need to get this child back to the Nathan James. She is a dependent and is in need of immediate medical attention. Captain and Mrs. Slattery can sort their marital issues out later, with respect. Hannah's needs are more important now. I am sure that Captain Slattery would like to know that his wife and daughter are alive."

Christine almost seemed to be relieved. Tom just nodded and headed for the RHIB that Christine and Hannah would not be in. Master Chief helped Hannah and Christine into the other one. He was shocked at how thin Christine was and had noticed her pulling her arm away when he helped her into the RHIB. He didn't think he'd hurt her but then noticed her push her sleeve up slightly. Her arm was bruised badly. Hannah was not the only one in need of medical attention. She looked far worse than Hannah. He sat down next to the little girl and pulled the kitten out of his pocket. Green had a shocked look on his face. Ordinarily Russ would have never broke regulations like that and knew that Captain Slattery would be livid, but the look of pure happiness on his very ill child's face would potentially soften the blow.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 2

Russ had Miller and Diaz take Christine and Hannah to the medical bay. Hannah was still holding the little kitten like it was gold. The rest of the away team headed into the helo bay and Russ made for the bridge. He wanted to get to Mike before Tom and Green did. There was no gentle way to break the news to him. His oldest child was dead, his only surviving daughter's coughs sounded like a dog barking and his wife had had to sell her body. Fortunately Tom and Green were nowhere to be found. Mike and Meylan were discussing plans for docking.

"Captain Slattery, a word in private?" Mike looked at him and nodded. They walked to his at-sea cabin and Russ could tell Mike seemed nervous.

"Sir, before I even start I am going to have to ask permission to speak freely?"

"Granted, spit it out, Russ."

"We picked up two people at the docks. You know that much?"

"Correct. One of them needed medical attention?"

"They actually both do. Miller and Diaz took them to the medical bay. It was a woman and child."

"Okay. We won't be able to give them much help."

"Sir, there is not an easy way to say this and it will hurt. The woman is your wife and the child is your youngest daughter. I shouldn't be the one to tell you this; it should come from your wife. She has apparently been working for a…um…White Group. They offer certain services. She was offering them. I think you understand what type of services? She told us that she had only done it to feed Hannah and get her medicine. Both of them are skin and bones. Hannah is running a fever and sounds horrible. She begged us to take Hannah with us. She knew that you would get her the food and medicine that she needed. Captain Chandler and she got into a bit of a verbal confrontation and she did tell us that her employer was simply waiting until Hannah hit puberty before he employed her. If she went back with no clients and without Hannah, he would kill her. Despite Captain Chandler's disapproval of your wife's actions he did allow her on the RHIB. Threatened to throw her overboard but…"

"Oh my God! Christine would…Addison?"

"I'm very sorry, Sir."

"Christine had to have been desperate. She would have never…I don't even know what to think."

"Sir, it's none of my business. A lot of people are going to be judging her decision. Including Captain Chandler. It's between her and you. You need to support her. She didn't make this decision lightly and it was only done for Hannah. She is deeply ashamed. She sacrificed herself, her morals, and her personal beliefs to keep Hannah alive. The one thing she is going to need is your support. I won't tell you to love her, that's your choice. I do have something else to tell you."

"What else? I'm stunned and I'm not sure how much more I can handle."

"I broke regulations. Hannah saw a kitten and she's so sick so I…um…brought the kitten on board. You should have seen her face when I gave it to her."

"That's not so bad."

"It's against regulations…"

"At this point, I don't care. If it makes Hannah happy, that's all I care about. I have no idea how to handle this. What about the crew?"

"Chandler and Green are judging her and they won't be the only ones. I do think the female crew members will understand it, especially those that are mothers. I did notice some severe bruising on Christine's wrist and she probably doesn't even weigh a hundred pounds. I would guess she gave most of her food to Hannah."

"It's what any mother would do. I will explain to Meylan and he'll take the lead. Keep check of the temperature with the crew. I can't stop the judgements but she will not be badmouthed. I don't know what to feel but she is still my wife and I will protect her."

"I would expect nothing less. I will keep them in check but I can't control the officers?"

"That is where Meylan comes in."

The two men left the cabin and made their way to the bridge. Word was already getting around and Mike pulled Meylan away. As soon as they were done talking, Mike and Russ headed for the medical bay. Russ wanted to support his captain. He was reacting a lot better than Russ expected but he was also focusing on the fact that his wife and younger daughter were alive.

Mike felt like he had been gutted. He had accepted the fact that his family was gone. To find out that his oldest had died was heartbreaking but in many ways, he had already accepted that she had died. Knowing what Christine had done shook him to his core because he knew it was not an easy decision for her. They had been married for seventeen years and Mike knew that Christine had never been with anyone but Mike, at least until she had to make the decision to sell herself to keep their daughter alive. She had gone to extraordinary lengths out of desperation. He was angry and hurt but not at her. At himself.

The walk to the medical bay seemed like it took an eternity. He could see the crew whispering to each other as he passed but he didn't care. All he cared about was Hannah and Christine's wellbeing. When they got to the medical bay, Miller was standing in front of it holding a calico kitten and sneezing violently.

"Miller, what are you doing?"

"Doc Rios didn't want your little girl to have this kitten in there while he was examining her. The cat hair? Your wife wanted to stay with her and so I promised Hannah that I would look after Snickers. I forgot that I am allergic."

Mike had to laugh at the young sailor. He didn't seem to be judging the situation. He took the kitten out of Miller's hands. Rios wouldn't argue with him. Miller opened the door for him and Russ and Mike's heart broke just looking at Hannah and Christine. Hannah looked like a six year old, not a ten year old. They both look malnourished and Christine had taken her flannel shirt off, leaving her in a t-shirt. Her arms were covered in bruises and were pencil thin. She was sitting next to Hannah on the exam bed and had apparently not seen Mike walk in.

"I don't think she has pneumonia yet. I think it's an upper respiratory infection. She has a double ear infection and she is running a fever. She is severely malnourished, but less so then you, Mrs. Slattery. You both need food and I need to assess those bruises. I think labs are also a good idea. I can do basic stuff."

"I appreciate that but I want you to concentrate on Hannah. Once my husband gets here, he will probably ask that I leave so there is no sense in you wasting your resources on me. Just give her what she needs, please. What will I have to do to make sure that happens?"

"Rios, do whatever labs you need to do. Russ, can you call down to galley and see if Bacon has any of that soup from supper last night? And maybe some sandwiches?"

"Mike…I…uh…You probably don't want me here but can I stay long enough to make sure Hannah is okay? You don't have to feed me or give me any medication. I'm fine. I'll do whatever you want me to. I can't just leave her without knowing. I'll go to your quarters and I'll…do anything. It won't be so bad since it's you but please don't make me leave this ship until I know she's okay." She had tears in her eyes and both Rios and Russ looked away. It was beyond sad.

"You will be going back to my quarters, both of you. You don't have to do what you're suggesting. I'm not making you leave Hannah."

"But I've…I've cheated. Dozens of times. You should hate me."

"It wasn't that. I can't hate you. I…I'm not sure what I feel, but it's not hate. Just the opposite. I love you and we both need to concentrate on Hannah."

"Can I have my kitty cat? Please? I'll be good." It was a little disturbing that Hannah hadn't addressed him but he gave Rios a look and put the tiny kitten in Hannah's lap. She offered him a shy smile and hugged the kitten close to her. He realized then that she had probably forgotten him and it made his heart break even more.

"I need to give Hannah an antibiotic shot. Does she have any allergies?"

"No, sir. She just hates shots."

"I'll be gentle. Captain, can you help me? I don't think Mrs. Slattery will have the strength to hold her down if she starts fighting."

Mike nodded and Russ took the kitten from Hannah but stayed close so to use the kitten as a distraction. Mike sit next to her and carefully pulled Hannah onto his lap. She still seemed shy around him and it hurt badly. Christine held her hand and pushed her sleeve up. Her arms were as thin as Christine's but were at least not bruised. As emaciated as she was, Hannah was wearing clean clothes and her very thin, limp hair was clean. Christine looked like a hundred miles of bad road.

Mike was pretty sure the shot hurt him more than it hurt Hannah. She started crying then choking. Mike rocked her back and forth and Christine talked to her in a soothing tone. The tears finally subsided and Hannah relaxed when Russ sit the kitten back down in her lap. Rios gave Christine a thermometer to take back to his cabin and did her bloodwork. He would have a female crewmember assist him with an exam on her later after she'd showered and slept. She seemed nervous and had drawn back when Mike touched her arm, telling him that she hadn't always been consenting when she was "working."

Christine and Hannah followed him back to his quarters; he could feel the tension in the air some of which came from the crew that they passed. They met Tom in the p-way and Mike noticed the almost sneer that he gave Christine. She met him with almost the same look. He hated the animosity in the air and would be addressing it. They finally got to his cabin and he let them in. Christine immediately teared up when she saw all the family pictures around the office area.

"I don't have any pictures, Mike. We had to leave the safe zone so fast, I left them. I thought I was forgetting Addy and Lucas' faces."

"I went back to the house and got them and found the album at the safe zone. Hannah, let's get you sit down. Food will be here soon." He sit her down on the couch and she cuddled the sleeping kitten into her chest. Christine sit down beside her and pulled her close to her. Mike was at a loss. He didn't know how to even talk to them. Thankfully there was a knock on the door and when he opened it, Bacon had a large tray of food.

"Sir, I know you said soup and sandwiches but I had heard how thin both of them were. There are some animal cookies for your daughter, sir. It was all I had but I thought she might like them?"

"She'll love them but they aren't usually in the galley?"

"I like animal cookies and had a stash. Those are the last of them. I need to get back to the galley but I will personally bring supper up."

"Okay. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Bacon went on his way. He appreciated the cookies but it made him wonder why Bacon had specifically said he would bring supper to them. He took the food in and he noticed how Hannah's eyes lit up when she saw the cookies. She ate all of her soup and sandwiches and a couple of the cookies, telling Mike that she wanted to save the rest for later. Christine seemed hesitant to eat anything at all and eyed Mike suspiciously.

"This is a lot of food. What am I going to have to do for it?"

"Chrissy, eat. You need it. Nobody expects anything from you. I don't and neither does Bacon. I am going to try and find some clothes for you to wear. Those are practically threadbare. Does Hannah have any?"

"She has some in that bag. I didn't figure you'd want me here so I left what I had where we were staying."

"We'll figure something out. And I do want you here." She nodded at him and turned her attention back to her food and Hannah. They gave the kitten a little bit of the broth and Mike got t-shirts out for both of them to sleep in and got his shower ready for them. He would go scout for clothes while they were showering.

"I'm going to go find some clothes, Chrissy. The shower is ready and there are t-shirts for both of you on my bed. You can sleep in them. They'll be huge on you. There aren't any water restrictions right now so take as long as you want. What size are you wearing?"

"I have no idea. I think these jeans are size two's but they're huge."

"Alright. I'll do the best I can. Make yourselves at home. There is soap and shampoo in there. It's not feminine but it'll work."

"Okay. Do you have a comb?

"It's in the drawer. I'll see about tooth brushes too."

"I have Hannah's packed."

"Okay. Use mine if need be." Mike bent over and kissed Hannah on the top of the head and Christine on the cheek. He immediately noticed how stiff she was. She was terrified of him. He grabbed the dinner tray and started wracking his brain thinking of a crew member that was even somewhat close to Christine's size. There were two, Kara Green and Kat Nolan. He just hoped that Danny hadn't passed his opinion along to Kara. He deposited the dishes in the galley and headed for CIC. Thankfully Kara was at her station and he could talk to her privately.

"Commander Green, a word?"

"Yes, sir."

"I don't know if you had heard, but my wife is on board."

"I had heard. I'm happy for you, sir. I am sorry about your older daughter and the…um…situation. Is there some way I can help?"

"Thank you. I need some help on a personal level. Christine has the clothes on her back and that is it. You and Kat Nolan are the only two that I could think of that might be close to her size. She told me her jeans are big and are only a size two. I have no idea on her sizes. She's literally skin and bones. I know the crew's opinion of her is not good but she needs help and…"

"Sir, I will see what I can come up with and bring it to your stateroom. As far as my opinion is concerned, I am a mother and she did what any mother would do to save her child. To me, that makes her a hero. She deserves respect not condemnation and I will tell anyone that, my husband included. I know of a few other crew members and we'll get her some comfortable clothes together. I'm assuming she needs everything?"

"Yes. Thank you. I thought of Kat Nolan but beyond her and you, I was clueless. I think they are taking a nap after they get cleaned up."

"Okay."

"Commander, Doc Rios is going to need some assistance with an examination on Christine later. I would prefer it be you there. If you don't care? None of this is an order and you can refuse."

"Absolutely, sir."

Mike nodded at her and made his way back to his cabin. Hannah was sleeping on his bed with the kitten on her chest. Mike threw another blanket over her and checked her temperature. It had come down just a little. Christine was in the shower. His t-shirt was on the end of the bed and he added sweats and a pair of warm socks to the stack. They would be huge on her but he wanted her to be comfortable. He shut the door to give Christine a little privacy while she dressed and sit down to do a little paperwork. He heard the shower turn off and Christine moving around inside the bedroom. There was a knock on the door and Kara was standing in the p-way with a huge tote bag full of clothes.

"Sir, these will still be big on her. But it's everything she will need for a while. There's also some…feminine products in there. I'm sure she'll need them at some point and won't want to ask." Christine came out just then and immediately shrunk back like she didn't belong.

"Chrissy, this is Commander Kara Green. She rounded up some clothes and other items."

"Thank you."

"Ma'am, I was just telling Captain, there are some items you'll need and the clothes may still be a bit big but they'll be better than those sweats. There's soap, shampoo, lotion, razors, hair ties and bobby pins. All kinds of stuff."

"Is this all yours?"

"No, ma'am. Several of the female crew members contributed."

"Oh, I don't deserve that. I have no way to repay you all. They do know what I did?"

"Ma'am, what you did was what any mother would do. As far as repayment is concerned, don't worry about it. We take care of our own." Kara handed the bag to her and she immediately noticed her wedding band and engagement ring. Mike had noticed that Christine wasn't wearing hers but hadn't said anything.

"Your rings are very pretty. I don't have mine anymore."

"Thank you."

"Mike, I know you are wondering. When Addison died, I wanted her to at least have a burial plot and marker. She was cremated but I wanted her to have something so I sold them to pay for it. I…I didn't know what else to do. I'm sorry. And when Hannah got sick, I didn't have anything left to sell so I sold myself. I know you won't want to replace them."

Mike felt like he had been punched in the gut and Kara had tears in her eyes. Hannah called for Christine and she ducked into the room. Kara was biting her lip and twisting her wedding band. Mike had no idea what to say, he was so stunned.

"I wish I had a way of replacing them. I think she would feel better. She can't understand why I would be accepting of this. She thinks I should hate her."

"Sir, most men would. It's going to be awhile before we make port and I agree she might feel better so here. My fingers are about the same size. She can wear my engagement ring. It's better than nothing. She wants to feel married. It's a security thing."

"Commander…Kara, I can't ask you to do that. I appreciate the thought but it wouldn't be right. I'll get her a ring. It'll just be awhile. Besides, Danny is not real comfortable with Christine. He wouldn't be happy…"

"Sir, please. With respect, take the ring. She'll feel better and I want that. You can borrow it as long as you need, but I do have one request?"

"Okay."

"When you do get her a ring, get her a special one. She deserves it."

"I agree. Thank you, Kara."

Kara nodded at him and handed him the ring. It was not an ideal situation but it would work. He could hear Christine talking to Hannah in a soothing tone. He wanted to go in with them but he needed to gather his thoughts. Christine finally came out but left the door partially open.

"Is she okay?"

"She woke up and was not familiar and got scared. She'll be okay. You're mad about the rings?"

"No. I would want you to sell them to provide for yourselves or to do what you did. I will want to visit that grave at some point."

"It's in Norfolk. I know where. I don't know where Lucas' remains were taken but I had his name put on the marker. It was purely symbolic but I felt better. I sold everything else I could to buy food and medicine before she died and the rings were it. I am really sorry. About everything, Mike. You told me earlier that you loved me and I appreciate that, and I do love you but I don't deserve you or Hannah. I just wanted to make sure Hannah was going to be okay. If you want me gone, I understand." Mike sit next to her on the couch on the left side giving him access to that hand. Every time he touched her she shrunk back and it was heartbreaking. He put his hand over hers and squeezed. She had tears rolling down her face and he wasn't much better off. She reached over and wiped a tear off his cheek and he gave her a soft smile and reached in his pocket for Kara's ring.

"I love you. If nothing else, what you've had to do makes you even more deserving. Kara loaned me her engagement ring. She thought you might feel better if you 'felt married.' I will be getting you another set of your own but this will do for the time being." Mike slid the ring on her left ring finger. Thankfully it fit and he kissed her hand. She was sobbing and he pulled her as close as she would allow. He didn't want to scare her or make her nervous. She ended up laying her head on his chest and seemed to cry for hours. He ran his hand through her hair and came up with a handful. It was from malnourishment. Holding her made him realize how little she weighed. She stopped crying and he realized that she had fallen asleep. He thought about leaving her on the couch but he wanted her to be comfortable. He eased away from her and picked her up and laid her down next to Hannah, covering them up. They looked tiny in the bed. As soon as he settled Christine she rolled on her side and wrapped herself around Hannah. In rolling, his shirt pulled up and exposed part of her lower back. It was covered in bruises in various stages of healing, exactly like her arms. Whoever had hurt her would be paying dearly.


	3. Chapter 3

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 3

The ship was buzzing with the gossip. Opinions were split. Everyone was thrilled that the Captain had his daughter back but his wife was badmouthed. The women and some of the men would defend her. Kara was sitting with a group of the officers and had listened to Mrs. Slattery called everything from a slut to a whore. Of course, no one say it around Captain Slattery or Master Chief. She had had enough.

"Kara, did you forget your engagement ring this morning?" Danny asked her in front of everyone. She slammed her fork down and got everyone's attention.

"No, I loaned it."

"You loaned your engagement ring to someone? I can't wait to hear this story." Danny and several of the others snickered. Kara had wanted to tell Danny privately but she was sickened by what everyone said. She spoke loud enough that everyone heard her.

"I loaned it to Captain Slattery for his wife to wear until he could get her one."

"I would imagine it would be hard to wear a wedding ring while you're with a john. She must have lost her rings." Burke snickered at his own joke Kara lost it.

"No. She sold them to bury their daughter. She'd already sold everything she owned to try and save her. When Hannah got sick, she only had one thing left and she is not proud of it. It is none of our business but that woman doesn't deserve this. She is a mother who had an impossible choice and she made it. The only opinion that matters is Captain's and he is struggling but he still loves his wife. While you were judging her and gossiping about her, did you take the time to look at her? I did. She weighs less than ninety pounds, is covered in bruises, and her hair is falling out from malnourishment. She doesn't feel that she is deserving of anything. Maybe you all need to stop judging her and start giving her the respect she's owed. I can tell you, as a mother, I would have made the same decision if I had to find a way to save my child's life. As far as the ring is concerned, I don't care if I ever get it back at this point. I think any woman in this room will agree with me, especially those of us with children. Stop judging and start respecting. Find a way to help them." Kara looked around and realized the entire mess hall had grown quiet and everyone was looking sheepish. She looked up and saw Captain Meylan and bit her lip. She'd overstepped.

"People, Commander Green makes a point. Several in fact. It is none of your business. That woman will be treated with respect and if I hear of anyone, anyone, no matter their rank or position on this ship gossiping about or badmouthing Captain Slattery or his wife, I will be dealing with it and you will not like the outcome. Mrs. Slattery is a dependent and will be treated with the exact same respect that you would give any Captain's wife. As with anyone, their marriage is their business but they will have the full support of the senior leadership and I expect everyone, from the officers to the enlisted crew to fall in line and give them the respect and support that they deserve. Mrs. Slattery did something that is unsavory but she did it to provide for their daughter. I've yet to meet this woman, but it will be an honor when I do. Captain Slattery is available for all command decisions but is taking some time with his wife and daughter and he doesn't need to hear this gossip. The man just found out that his oldest daughter has died and we need to respect that. And another thing, since we all want to talk out of turn, Master Chief brought an adorable kitten on board to make Hannah Slattery happy. You all want to gossip about him breaking regulations?" Captain Meylan looked around at the people in the mess hall, nodded at Kara and went about his business. It was dead quiet and the gossips looked very sheepish.

Back in Mike's stateroom, Christine woke up next to Hannah in the bed. Mike must have moved her. She couldn't understand why he was being so accepting but was thankful for it. She had expected him to reject her and not want her around their daughter. Hannah was lying next to her with her arms around the little kitten and had a slight smile on her face despite being asleep. Christine kissed her forehead and was relieved that the temperature was almost normal. She felt horribly about Lizzie but she didn't feel comfortable asking Mike to find her. He was already doing more than she deserved. Mr. White would kill Lizzie and there was nothing Christine could do. It made her heartbreak. She got up and tucked Hannah back in, used the bathroom and straightened herself up. She could hear Mike quietly talking to someone as she walked through the bedroom, she hesitated going into the office area but the thermometer was on Mike's desk. There was a man on the couch and he offered her a friendly smile.

"Chrissy, this is Captain Joe Meylan, he's serving as my XO right now."

"It's nice to meet you. Mike can you hand me that thermometer,please? I think Hannah's fever is breaking."

"Oh thank God. Here." Christine seemed scared to cross in front of Meylan so he stood up and walked across with the thermometer. She took it and headed back into the bedroom area, shutting the door behind her.

"Sorry, Joe, she's still nervous even around me."

"Has she been raped?"

"She hasn't said but I would guess it wasn't always consensual. She doesn't like being touched."

"She's been through hell. I don't think there will be anymore issues with the crew and if there is I'll deal with it."

"Thank you. If there are any issues please don't hesitate to come to me. What's Tom's mindset?"

"He's keeping a low profile but he was in the mess hall. You guys have been friends for years."

"If I have to choose between my friend and my wife, there's no contest. She's my first choice and you can tell him that much."

"I think he knows."

"It's shocking that he was so judgemental. What he was doing was not so different. Christine was just doing it for our child. Tom left his with his girlfriend."

"Yeah, I know and I plan on reminding him of that. I'd better get going. Bacon did say that he would be personally bringing the food for all of you and Rios will be coming here to check on Hannah. I understand he's doing an exam on Mrs. Slattery tomorrow and Commander Green is assisting?"

"Yeah. We both thought it would be better for a woman to be there. If she's been raped, it's better and even if not, she's scared enough of me. Having an almost stranger doing the exam will be traumatizing."

"It's scary what this world has become."

"Agreed, and the fact that within a year or so, my ten year old would have had to do the same things. What kind of man would even be turned on by a twelve or thirteen year old?"

"I couldn't imagine and I don't want to."

"Me either."

"I will keep you updated on everything. Enjoy your time with them."

"Thank you, I will try."

Meylan left and Mike walked into the bedroom area. Hannah had woke up and was sitting on the bed while Christine brushed and braided her hair. The kitten was sitting in her lap. Mike smiled down at her and she gave him another shy smile. She still hadn't realized that he was her dad and it hurt badly.

"Hey, sweetie, did you sleep good?"

"Yeah. I was glad my kitten was still here when I woke up. I thought Snickers would get taken." Mike exchanged a look with Christine and smiled at Hannah.

"No one is taking Snickers away. She's your kitty."

"But isn't it against the rules to have her, sir?"

"I'm the Captain on the Nathan James and I say you can have her. No one will argue with me and besides no one will want to. How are you feeling?"

"A little better. Where are Mommy and me sleeping tonight? This bed is comfortable and warm but I don't want Mommy to have to go to work tonight."

"Sweetpea, I won't have to work tonight."

"Or, ever again." Mike sit down next to Hannah and scratched the kitten's head. Hannah looked at him a little wide eyed but smiled at him. She seemed really happy that Christine wouldn't be "working" again.

"So where are we sleeping?"

"In here. In this bed."

"And where do you sleep?" Mike looked towards Christine. They hadn't talked about sleeping arrangements. He wanted to sleep next to them but would not further traumatize Christine or make Hannah uncomfortable since she didn't remember him.

"Normally here, but you can and Mommy can sleep here. I will sleep on the couch. I'll be close by if you need me."

"You're not gonna make Mommy work and make me go to another room?"

"No. I won't make her work." Mike's heart had broken completely and he had to get out of the room quickly. He didn't want to leave them but he wanted to appear strong. Thankfully there was a knock on the door and he jumped off the bed to get it.

Bacon had a tray with three plates and glasses of water. It was roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, cream corn and rolls. There was also bowls with apple pie and whipped cream included. The crew wasn't eating that well with the famine going on and Mike had put himself on the same restrictions at the beginning of the mission. Christine and Hannah had sit down on the couch and were eagerly awaiting dinner. Mike sit the tray down and promised he would be back. Bacon was waiting at the door for him.

"Bacon, where is this food coming from? Restrictions…"

"Sir, we've had the food but it just hasn't been fixed. Mrs. Slattery and Hannah need the food and it's the best we have to offer."

"Okay but it could create further issues with the crew if they are given special treatment."

"I've spoken Doc Rios and he has given me instructions on their diet and if anything is questioned I will just tell them that."

"Okay, well I appreciate it. Thank you."

Bacon nodded and walked away. He headed back into the office and sit down next to Hannah. She had the kitten on her lap and was giving her a bit of her gravy.

"Hannah, you need that gravy. If you get full, you can give the leftovers to Snickers but I want you to eat first. She can have some of mine."

"Yes, sir." He looked over at Christine but she seemed to be trying to figure out how to save the food for later. Hannah not addressing him as dad or daddy really was bothering him.

The rest of the dinner was fairly quiet. Both Hannah and Christine ate pretty well and the kitten got plenty of chicken and gravy. Mike took the dishes back to the galley while Christine gave Hannah a shower and started to settle her for bed. Hannah was a little upset because she had left her stuffed animal on their bed at the apartment. Christine had realized that Hannah hadn't addressed Mike as Dad or Daddy and that it was really getting to him. She didn't know what to do about it. While Hannah was getting comfortable in the bed, Christine picked up a picture of their family that had been sitting on Mike's desk and showed it to Hannah.

"I love this picture. Remember it? It was right before Halloween. You were a warrior princess? Daddy loved your costume."

"That's nice."

"Sweetie, you do realize that it's your dad that's been here right?"

"He looks like someone I should know but it's been so long since I seen Daddy. That man seems so sad and I wanted God to make him happy."

"He's sad because of how sick you are and Addy going to heaven and because of the work I've done. He has missed us a lot and he loves you very much."

"Oh. I'm getting sleepy. I miss my teddy bear. I remember my daddy bringing Ruffles home."

"I'll talk to him and see if we can you a different teddy bear. But you can cuddle with Snickers tonight."

"Okay and you're not working?"

"Nope. I'll be with you all night."

"Where's that man going to be?

"Your dad is going to be close. I would imagine he'll be in the other room, if not in here with us."

"Oh."

"It's okay to call him dad or daddy. He would like it a lot."

"Okay."

"Alright, about time to get to sleep. I don't have anything to read to you but I can try and remember a story?"

"It's okay. I am really tired but can you lay down next to me until I go to sleep, Mommy?"

Christine nodded at her and laid down beside her. The kitten was purring and Hannah's breathing seemed to be getting better. She was fighting her sleep and so Christine started humming to her to try and lull her to sleep. She heard a knock on the office door and immediately got nervous. Mike wasn't back yet and she couldn't imagine what any of the crew wanted. She just hoped it wasn't sex. She got up and went to the door and opened it. A young women was standing outside. She wasn't much older than Addy had been.

"Ma'am, my name is Kat Nolan. I know you're daughter has a kitten but I brought this old teddy bear. I thought it might help her."

"She'll love it. She was just missing her old teddy bear, Ruffles. This one must be special for you to have it here and I don't think I should accept it."

"Please do, ma'am. He's a little worn out. I've carried him with me everywhere but I think it's time I gave him to someone else."

"I appreciate that. Was he a gift from someone?"

"My dad. He died almost two years ago. Captain Slattery knew him. My dad would want me to give the bear to your daughter, Ma'am. I always called him Goober but she can rename him."

"I appreciate it very much."

"It's an honor. I'd better get going. If you need anything?"

"Thank you." Mike rounded the corner and nodded at Kat, dismissing her. She headed down the p-way and Mike and Christine headed back into the stateroom. Hannah had fallen asleep but Christine put the bear next to her and the kitten. She walked back into the office area with Mike who was watching her from the door.

"She said that her father had given her the bear and would want her to give it to Hannah. Had you said anything to her about Hannah missing Ruffles?"

"No. I hadn't talked to her at all. Went for a walk. Just coincidence but it was good of her to give it to Hannah. Her father was a good man."

"She said you would know about him."

"Yeah."

"I talked to Hannah for a little bit before she went to sleep. She remembers you but I think she'd gone through the grieving process and is having trouble putting you together with her memories of you. She will. Just be patient."

"Easier said than done."

"She's nervous you'll make me work."

"Does she know what your work consisted of? I'm not judging, I just need to gauge."

"I guess I need to explain the situation to you a bit better. You're not going to like what I tell you and you may want to throw me overboard yourself."

"I doubt it. Let's sit down." She nodded at him and they sat on the two separate couches. Christine tucked her knees under her and fidgeted with her hands and the ring on her hand.

"Chrissy, talk. I am not going to get mad at you."

"I don't want you to think less of me. After Addy died, I had sold everything I had to cremate her, and give her a proper burial and marker. I managed to keep us fed despite the famine that was starting. Then Hannah developed that cough. It started the same way with Addy. I was terrified of losing her. I went to one of the food banks and was asking about how to get medication for her. This guy was hanging around, the only name I know him by is Mr. White. He came up to me and told me he knew of a way I could get the medicine but I would have to work. He invited Hannah and I back to his office, offering food. I thought it would be secretarial work or something of that sort. Once we got there, he had a plate of food for both of us. He had another employee take Hannah into the other room and then explained to me that the job involved entertaining clients and I wouldn't get Hannah back until I had sex with him. I…I...hate myself, Mike. I did it, I had sex with him. I didn't like it. I wanted him to be you. But he was so rough and mean. Afterwards he told me that he would take Hannah and sell her to the highest bidder if I didn't entertain those clients. He moved us into an apartment with several other women who had children. He used the same line on all of us. The only exception was this girl, Lizzie. Only sixteen, no family. If we didn't have sex with the clients, he didn't give us any food, and threatened to take Hannah away. He was different with me and I don't really know why. I was his 'favorite employee' and I didn't have to see as many of the clients as the other employees. I did have to be at his beck and call and if I refused to something, he would threaten to either not give us any food, medicine or just take Hannah altogether. I am not proud of myself, Mike. Please don't think I ever liked it. Hannah doesn't understand what the work was but she does know I didn't like it. Mr. White would typically call me to his apartment but every now and then, he would show up at apartment for an inspection. Hannah and I shared a twin bed and Lizzie roomed with us. Lizzie would get Hannah out of the room and he'd…well, you know. Hannah never witnessed anything. The clients were not allowed to come to the apartment. If I spoke up or didn't do something the way he liked it, he'd beat me and threaten Hannah. He had me over a barrel. Last night, he called me to his apartment. He always had weird requests for clothes. Last night it was a mini skirt, white blouse, red lingerie and heels. Absolutely no coat. I had to walk to his place and I was freezing. I asked to warm up a bit before and he got mad. He beat me and then when he was done doing that he forced himself on me. I didn't want to have sex but he did anyways. He was always so rough but last night was worse. It hurt a lot worse. I was getting ready to leave and he mentioned meeting the Nathan James and offering services and for me to specifically target senior leadership because the money would be better. I made a remark that it was against regulations and officers didn't make much and he punched me in the back. I wasn't even sure you were still on the Nathan James but I brought Hannah with me thinking that if you were, you would take her with you and she'd be safe. He would kill me. And now he is going to kill Lizzie, I'm sure. Mike, you have no idea how sorry I am. You were always amazing to me in every way. So kind, gentle, loving. And this is what I've done to repay you. You deserve a better wife than I've been…"

"Chrissy, stop. You fought to keep our daughter alive and I love you for it, more than I have ever loved you. I hate to ask but how many times?"

"With him or the clients? I didn't see that many clients."

"Both. Just a ballpark."

"With him, at least thirty times. I only saw about twenty clients. That's actually a low number compared to the other employees."

"You said it's been six months since Addy died? And a month when Hannah developed the cough? So five months?"

"There about. Mike, I'm so, so, so, sorry. I hate…"

"How many times did he rape you? Or use Hannah as a threat including the times he refused food or medicine?"

"Every time."

"And when you went to the clients, the same threat was used?"

"Yeah."

"You were raped."

"Mike, I agreed to it. I didn't like it and I was unwilling but I agreed."

"Rape under duress is still rape. You were under duress."

"I agreed to it and so I cheated on you. Over and over again. The most sacred, intimate part of our marriage and I sacrificed it."

"And had you not, our only surviving child would have died."

"So, what now?"

"The next difficult question is going to be about STD's and pregnancy."

"Condoms were always used and I've been on birth control. He was insistent…oh God…"

"What?"

"Last night…he didn't use a condom and birth control is only so effective. If I got pregnant…"

"We'll deal with it."

"Abortions are illegal now even if I did agree with them and I won't ask that of you."

"Chrissy, I will be honest, I hope you didn't get pregnant but I can deal with that better than I will be able to, if you caught something nasty from him. That's my concern. I know Doc is planning on doing a pelvic exam tomorrow but it would be too soon to tell on pregnancy wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, I'd have to be a couple weeks pregnant. Remember with Hannah, I went in for a regular exam, not knowing I was pregnant and they realized I was about five weeks along?"

"Yeah. What about the diseases? I remember something about three months but I might be wrong."

"He forced us to get tested once a month, I passed my last test but last night may change that."

"Any drug use on his or the client's part?"

"Definitely on his. Not sure on clients. And I never…"

"I know. I wasn't worried about that with you."

"So how deep is the water out there?"

"Huh?"

"I'm assuming you are going to throw me overboard?"

"Never. Seriously, I love you. Kara will be getting you about nine and she'll be with you through the exam. I knew you'd feel better if a woman was at least there and I trust her to remain discreet. I do want pictures of the bruises and I will be reading the medical report. But it is for my own eyes. Doc Rios and Kara will be absolutely discreet. I know it will be uncomfortable and I am sorry for that."

"Mike, can I ask something of you and you can say no?"

"Of course."

"I've missed sleeping on your chest with your arms around me. I know it's tight and Hannah is in there but can you lay down in there with me. I just want to feel safe and I know I will with you. It's stupid and you maybe against it but…"

"Let's get ready for bed, I've missed having you sleep in my arms."

Mike was hot natured and normally just slept in boxers but since Hannah was sleeping with them, he opted for a pair of pajama pants. Christine found a pair of yoga pants that fit her tiny frame a little better and left Mike's shirt on. Because of how small the bed was, they ended up lying on their sides with Mike's arms around Christine and a hand on Hannah's chest to monitor her breathing. The kitten was laying on Hannah's stomach and she had the teddy bear in her arms. It was tight and uncomfortable but Mike and Christine slept better than they had in years.


	4. Chapter 4

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 4

Christine woke up and realized she had turned and was facing Mike. His arms were still around her and she nestled in closer to him. She had never imagined him being so accepting of her. It made her love him even more than she ever had. He was processing what had happened and seemed more bothered by Hannah's reaction to him. Hannah let out a small cough which instantly woke Mike up. His eyes popped open; he smiled at Christine and reached over to Hannah. She had settled again and he wrapped both arms around Christine.

"Morning, I could get used to this."

"Me too, I don't think I've slept this well in years."

"I know I haven't." Mike leaned down and kissed her. It was so soft and gentle. He didn't expect anything from her which is what made it even better. She nestled back into his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"So what are the plans? We can't stay on this ship forever."

"We are anchored here for a couple days while away teams figure out how volatile things are in Norfolk before we dock there, once we resupply, we head for St. Louis. That's home base now."

"Okay."

"You okay with not being in Norfolk? You always hated our moves."

"I want as far from Mr. White as I can get. The only thing I hate is that Addy is buried here and that I left Lizzie there."

"Given that she was cremated, we can see about moving the ashes? I know you won't like it but it's an idea. As far as Lizzie is concerned, I don't know what to do."

"I hadn't thought of that. I don't want her ashes sitting on the mantle though, so to speak. As much as I hate it, I think she needs to stay buried. She's in our hearts with Lucas. I know you want to go visit the grave though."

"I need to. I had accepted that you guys were probably gone but it will be good to have closure where she's concerned. And you said that you had Lucas' name put on the marker?"

"Yeah, I wanted to I guess…mark his existence? I hope that's okay?"

"It's okay. I like that you did it."

"Is me being here causing you problems with your crew?"

"They're coming around, I think. I'm not worried about them."

"I don't want to cause you problems. I love you but I won't endanger your career."

"It won't. It's the state of the world now. And I love you too."

"But Tom? Lieutenant Green?"

"Kara lit into the crew and Joe finished it off. I don't think there will be anymore issues."

"Kara and Lieutenant Green? Are they married?"

"Yeah."

"He must not like her loaning the ring to us?"

"I have no idea but she didn't seem to care what anyone thought."

"She seems like a nice person."

"She is. She'll stay with you through the exam and take the pictures. I have no question of her discretion. She won't even tell Danny."

"Who will know besides you, her and Doc Rios?"

"Possibly Joe, but the circle will be small. Master Chief and maybe Tom."

"And you're staying with Hannah while I'm in the medical bay?"

"Yes. I may make some rounds around with her, take her to meet Bacon maybe. Sam and Ashley are onboard too."

"Tom may not want her around them because of me."

"You're a victim of a horrific circumstance and Hannah is an innocent child. If he has a problem with that then he's not the person I thought he was."

"He's changed, a lot."

"We all have."

"I couldn't believe the venom when he was talking. Darien would have been ashamed. But then again, what I've done is pretty shameful."

"He's done some less than stellar things. People in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks or bricks, whatever that saying is. He saved the world but it brought his dark side out."

"It brought a lot of darkness out in everyone. Is Hannah still sleeping? I don't want to roll over. Kind of like how I'm lying."

"I could stay like this forever. She's stirring. She really has ahold of that bear."

"Goober. That's the bear's name. And me too, but we can't."

"Sounds like Tex named it."

"Kat's father?"

"Yeah. Good man. He would love that she gave it to Hannah."

"Good, I felt funny taking it. What time is it?"

"Seven."

"We'd better get moving. What time is breakfast?"

"Bacon said he'd bring it by at eight."

"Okay. Mike, you're going to have to let me go."

"But I don't want to!" Christine laughed and kissed him on the cheek. Hannah started coughing which caused them both to exchange a look and sit up. Christine shook Hannah awake and Mike helped her sit up, it eased the coughing a bit and Christine took her temperature. Thankfully there was no fever and Hannah was in a good mood. She was cuddling with the kitten and looking at the bear while Mike showered and shaved.

"Where'd this bear come from?"

"A friend brought it by after you went to sleep. His name is Goober. Hannah, you're going to spend some time with your daddy this morning. I have to go see Doc Rios. I'll be okay, I'm not working."

"Okay."

"You'll have a good time with him. He's going to take you around to meet some people; you'll see where he works. Let's get dressed while he's getting ready."

"Okay, can I wear my bib overalls and that pink shirt you packed?"

"Yep. And I'll braid your hair in pigtails?"

Hannah nodded at her and Christine and she dressed. They went into the office area to give Mike privacy and to braid Hannah's hair. While her hair was thin and limp, it hadn't started falling out like Christine's had, thankfully. Midway through the second French braid, there was a knock on the door and Mike was still in the bedroom. Christine bit her lip nervously, and got up to answer the door. Hannah was sitting on the couch with the kitten on her lap and was just as nervous. When Christine opened the door, Bacon was standing there with the breakfast tray.

"Ma'am, I can carry this in? Its pancakes with some canned peaches and cherries, powdered sugar. Milk for your daughter and one of the pancakes has chocolate chips. I remember my mom always fixing them for me. There's coffee too. I wasn't sure if you drank it or how, I included cream and sugar. I know Captain takes his black." Christine nodded and moved to the side to let him past. She was still biting her lip nervously and Hannah was eyeing him suspiciously.

"Is Bacon your real name?"

"Oh no, miss. It's Bernie Cowley. But everyone calls me Bacon. I prefer it."

Bacon had noticed how nervous Christine was. It was the first time he had really spoken with either Hannah or Christine. He had never seen a full grown woman look so tiny and scared. Someone had told him that Hannah was around ten but she didn't look any older than a seven year old. It was heartbreaking.

"What's your kitten's name?"

"Snickers. Please don't take her away?"

"Oh, no. I won't. I like kittens. Why'd you name her Snickers?"

"I like those candy bars and I haven't had one in a really long time."

"I see. It's a good name. Ma'am, if you need anything, please don't hesitate. I'd best go."

"Thank you, Bacon. For everything. The food has been delicious."

Bacon nodded at her and smiled at Hannah and then made his exit. Christine made tracks for the coffee. She fixed Hannah's plate and took Mike's coffee into him. He had his pants on and was shaving. Before the Red Flu, when he was home, they had a ritual; he'd get up first, start coffee, then shower and shave. She'd get them both a cup of coffee and they would talk about the day while he finished shaving. She loved the smell of his aftershave. If the kids slept in, they would usually end up back in bed, fooling around. That wouldn't be happening any time soon but it was still a nice memory.

"Hannah is eating breakfast. Bacon brought pancakes. He's feeding us really well."

"Yeah. Doc gave him orders."

"Last time I weighed, I was eighty nine pounds. I don't think I need to diet anytime soon."

"That is scary. When I moved you from the couch to the bed yesterday, I knew you were light but not like that."

"What food I got, I gave to Hannah and Lizzie. And you know what I did to get what I got. I didn't want to do more."

"You don't have to ever worry about doing that again."

"What about you and me? I'm not ready for it but I do want it at some point. You may not…"

"I do. Once we get settled and you're healthy again, we'll get there. I can't think about it now. Not because of what you had to do but because I want you healthy again."

"And the bloodwork checks out?"

"That's part of it but not all. It's more to do with all the bruises and how little you weigh."

"I'm worried about the pregnancy thing. I won't have an abortion and I couldn't even if I would. And I'm not sure about adoption. The idea of asking you to raise a child that was the result of…basically an affair…."

"It wasn't an affair. Let's wait and see what happens before we go there. With luck, you won't be pregnant and it will be a non-issue. But if you are, I will raise and love that baby, because I love you. We'd better get in there before Hannah feeds the pancakes to the kitten." Christine nodded at him but caught him before he left the bathroom; she caught him and pulled him into a hug.

"Thank you, Mike. I was prepared for you to reject me and hate me, but not this. I love you, so much!" Mike gave her a smile and kissed her on the forehead. He pulled away from her and grabbed his t-shirt, throwing it on. They both walked into the office area and Hannah was feeding the kitten a piece of the pancake. Her plate was mostly empty and she had drunk her milk.

"Sweet pea, how much of that did you eat?" Hannah gave Christine a sideways look that told them both that she was about to give them a tall tale.

"Most of it."

"Right. Well, let me finish that braid before I eat." Mike had to smile at Hannah. She was adorable with her pigtails. Her overalls were overly large on her and her pink shirt was too big but it made him want to scoop her up and not let go. She had yet to hug him or really acknowledge him as her father. It hurt. She was the only child he had left and she didn't even remember him. It wasn't fair. Mike hid the emotion he was feeling by taking a bite of food.

"So you don't have to work today either, Mommy?"

"Nope. I quit that job."

"Oh, good. Do you have a new job?"

"Your mom's new job is to hang out with you until you both get to feeling better. You guys will sleep as much as you want and Bacon is feeding you really good."

"But she doesn't have to work for this food?"

"No, I do that."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I love you both and I'm your dad. It's my job to make sure you have what you need." Christine nodded at Mike, she let go of Hannah's braid and whispered something in Hannah's ear. Hannah looked at her and gave her a smile, Mike was clueless as to what was going on but it made his heart ache. Hannah got off the couch and walked towards him and practically threw herself at him. He hugged her tiny body and kissed the top of her head several times. Whatever Christine had told her had an effect.

"I love you, sweetie. So, so much. I've missed you like crazy." Despite giving him a hug, Hannah still seemed a bit stiff and just smiled at him. It was a step in the right direction at least. It made him realize he couldn't deploy again. He wanted to be a part of his only child's life, not some man that rolled into town for a couple months out of the year, only serving to confuse her. He had always made a point to be an active dad, playing with the kids, caring for them, and when he was deployed; he spoke with them on the phone and included them in emails to Christine. Hannah and Christine deserved better and so did he. He kissed her on the forehead and released her. She went back beside Christine and they all finished breakfast. At five til nine, there was another knock on the door and he noticed that both Hannah and Christine got nervous. He opened it and let Kara in and Christine instantly relaxed which caused Hannah to settle down.

"Good morning, Ma'am, Sir. Hannah."

"Do you know my kitty?" Mike nodded at Kara, giving her permission to sit. Hannah had to get used to the crew.

"I've heard about her but haven't seen her yet. She's cute. I heard you named her after a candy bar?"

"Yeah, I like it. What's your name?"

"I'm Commander Green but I want you to call me Kara, if it's okay with your parents?" Mike nodded at Hannah and Christine smiled at her.

"Hannah, while your mom is seeing Doc Rios, you're going to meet some other people. I only want you to leave this cabin with me or your mom but I don't want you to be scared of anyone here."

"And they won't make Mommy work?"

"Nope, sweet pea. Remember I quit that job."

"Oh, right. But what if Mr. White comes here?"

"He'll have about two hundred sailors to get around before he gets to you guys."

"And you'll make him go to jail?"

"Yep." Mike coughed into his hand and said "or to the morgue." Kara heard it and nodded at him. Christine and Hannah hadn't heard what Mike had said but it was a legitimate fear and one that needed to be thought about since Christine had apparently been a "favorite employee."

"Commander Green, I know I don't have to tell you but I do expect absolute discretion. Once you get the pictures printed, seal them in an envelope and bring them directly to me. I will disclose what needs to be disclosed to whomever I see fit. I will give Rios the same directions. Are you drawing in anyone to assist with the pictures?"

"Lieutenant Granderson, sir. I've already spoke to her and she understands that she answers to only you and I on this. I've spoken with Rios as well and he's aware. He will type everything up and bring it directly to you."

"Good."

"Mike, is this common procedure?"

"No, Chrissy. But no one else really needs to know."

"Okay." Christine seemed nervous and was biting at her lower lip. Mike pulled her into a hug and Kara occupied Hannah, showing her a picture of Frankie.

"No one will know. Lieutenant Granderson can be trusted as well. Rios isn't all that experienced at these exams so you'll have to forgive that. I wish I could get you a better situation."

"I know. I'm just nervous. It's embarrassing and shameful."

"Don't worry about it."

"Sir, we'd better get going. Captain Meylan is aware that myself and Lieutenant Granderson are away from our duty stations and is making allowances."

"Chrissy, you'll be fine. I love you."

"I love you too. Hannah, have fun with your daddy. I'll be fine, I promise."

Hannah hugged her and didn't seem to want to let her go. Kara felt even worse for the two of them. Hannah seemed nervous around Mike and Christine was terrified. It was not going to be an easy few hours for any of them.

They met Alicia in the p-way and Christine seemed at ease with her. Kara had thought about suggesting Sasha but with how vocal Tom was being, it may not be a good idea. He had quieted down some since her outburst but the animosity was there. Christine was so tiny and had so little energy, Kara thought she might need a nap before they got to the medical bay. It made both Kara and Alicia wish they had known Christine before the Red Flu hit.

Rios was waiting for them and had dismissed his assistant. It was going to be horrifically uncomfortable for Christine and he didn't want to add to it. He had everything ready and had warmed up the necessary equipment. Christine changed into a hospital gown in the other room and when she walked in, Rios had her get on the scale. She was five foot four inches and the scale that she weighed herself on at the apartment had been wrong. She was eighty pounds. She confirmed that she had been on birth control, the last time that she had had sex and that it was less than consensual. When he asked her how many sexual partners she'd had, she teared up.

"Two years ago, I would have been able to just tell you just one. But now, it's almost twenty five. You must think I'm this horrible person." Both Kara and Alicia wanted to throw up and Rios had to look away.

"Ma'am, I don't judge you. It's my job to ask these questions and I hate having to do it. I wish I didn't have to. But I only wish that because I wish you hadn't had to go through this. I do have to ask, vaginal, oral, or anal sexual intercourse?"

"The last was just vaginal. But all of it at times."

"Okay. I will be as gentle as I can be. I don't typically do these exams so please be patient. If you feel uncomfortable or want me to stop, just tell me. You probably know what to expect. I will be looking for vaginal tears and such. I will keep you covered up at times but I do have to look."

"I understand."

"Ma'am, I am sorry. I truly hate this for you." Kara and Alicia helped Christine get settled on the exam table and her feet in the stirrups. They covered her with a blanket and Kara decided to get a guard outside the door. She mentioned it to Rios and they jointly decided that Miller would be the one that would be best. Miller came to medical bay and Kara stepped out and explained that they simply needed him to stop anyone from entering the medical bay because Mrs. Slattery was being examined. Miller turned a few shades of red but agreed. Knowing that no one would be walking in, made Christine a little more comfortable and the exam was started.

Rios noted several bruises on her thighs, there was vaginal tears indicating a sexual assault. Christine had turned her head to the side and seemed to be in another world. It was disconcerting for all of them. The exam was finished and Rios went into the other room. He needed to be close in case either Kara or Alicia believed there would be a medical need. Rios had checked Christine's stomach and there was no tenderness. She had told him that the last time she'd had intercourse there was no condom used and was concerned about pregnancy or disease. It would be something that would be tested for.

Christine's back was nothing but bruises, all different colors and severity. They took pictures of her back, arms and legs. They thought they were done and Christine shook her head at them.

"He bit my breasts. There are marks. Maybe you don't need pictures? I just hope Mike is the only one that sees them."

Kara helped her out of the gown and wanted to get sick again. Sure enough there were bite marks on both breasts, specifically around the nipples. It made Kara worry about infection and she knew Rios needed to look at them.

"Mrs. Slattery, I promise your husband will be the only one to see the pictures and Lt. Granderson and I will be discreet, but I believe Doc Rios needs to look at those. I'm worried about infection."

"Okay. You're probably right. Mr. White had a weird…fetish, I guess."

Alicia went into the other room and explained the marks to Rios. He immediately got up and told her to cover Christine back up. Alicia nodded at him and complied.

"Mrs. Slattery, I am going to have to look at these marks and I may have to touch them. I mean nothing by it. You can keep yourself covered until I am ready to look and then only one side at a time, okay?"

"Okay."

Rios examined the marks. It was extremely uncomfortable for him and even more so for Christine. He gave her a topical ointment to put on them and told her what to watch for regarding infection. Kara and Alicia took the pictures and Alicia lost it when Christine raised her left arm up.

"Mrs. Slattery, what happened to your underarm?"

"I mouthed Mr. White and he put his cigar out on my underarm. I forgot to mention it."

"Mrs. Slattery, I need to examine that and any other places he might have done that?"

"Both underarms, behind my knees and between my toes. They hurt. I just forgot to mention it and I wanted this done."

"It won't take long but I may need to send some bandaging back with you. Would you be comfortable with Captain Slattery or one of these ladies helping you?"

"I guess." Rios examined the burns, bandaged what needed bandaged, gave another ointment and wanted to throw up in his trash can. Kara had taken pictures and helped Christine get dressed again. Alicia had gotten called to the bridge but gave Christine a huge hug before she left.

Rios assured Christine that the report would be absolutely confidential other than to Captain Slattery and that he would be checking on both her and Hannah that night.

"Thank you, this is just so humiliating."

"Ma'am, you have nothing to thank us for. And nothing to humiliated for. You saved your child's life. Hang onto that."

Kara had never been so outraged. She was angry and hurt for Christine. She offered to escort her back to the cabin but Christine seemed to want to walk a bit and find Mike and Hannah. Rios had given her a sweatshirt to wear over her tshirt and yoga pants and so Kara started showing her around the ship a bit. They passed crew members. Some of them greeted them warmly and others completely ignored them, which only stoked Kara's rage. They finally found Mike and Hannah on the bridge. Mike was sitting in his chair and Hannah was on his lap looking through his binoculars. The kitten was in Mike's arms which caused both Kara and Christine to laugh. He looked over at them and smiled.

"She didn't want to leave Snickers in the cabin by herself. So this was the option."

"I'll bet there is some sort of regulation against this?"

"More than a few. And he knows it." Tom had come up behind them and handed Mike a piece of paper. Christine knew that Tom would never actually hurt her but she still got closer to Mike. Her nerves were frayed and she just wasn't handling things. She didn't miss the look that Mike gave Tom.

"Mike, can we go back to the cabin? I'm tired." Mike nodded at her and sit Hannah back on her feet. He handed Christine the kitten and took Hannah's hand.

"Meylan has the bridge. Meylan, if you need anything, don't hesitate." Mike walked them back to the cabin and Christine immediately headed for the couch. She was tired, sore, and even more embarrassed then she had been.

"Mike, you need to solve this with Tom. You've been friends for years. Don't sacrifice that. And he isn't in charge of the bridge?"

"No. It's a long story. He'd retired for a while. He's taken an oath and his rank has been restored. He assists with command decisions but isn't the bottom line. As far as our friendship, you are far more important. He's made some very unsavory choices and didn't have as good of a reason as you did. He needs reminded of that."

"Just don't sacrifice your friendship or your career over me. I'm not worth it. Hannah is, but not me."

"I disagree." Mike came up beside her and kissed the side of her head. It was time for lunch and Bacon knocked on the door. Meylan had given Hannah a ream of paper and colored pencils and she was sitting at the coffee table drawing and when Bacon walked in, she smiled at him broadly.

"Mr. Bacon, I drew you a picture!"

"You didn't have to do that, Miss."

"Bacon, just take the picture. She specifically wanted to draw you one."

"It's Snickers and I wrote my name on it. I'm going to draw one for Miss Kara, Master Chief, Captain Joe and Uncle Tom. He seems sad and he needs one."

"Well mine's beautiful and I will hang it on the fridge in the galley. Thank you, Miss Hannah." It shocked everyone when Hannah gave Bacon a hug. It made Mike a little jealous because Hannah was still so nervous around him but at least she was adjusting. Bacon left with his picture and Hannah sit to eat with her parents.

"Mommy, we went to the galley, and to the CIC, and then to the bridge. I saw Sam and Ashley and Sam will bring me some books later. And then that man took me to the helo deck and showed me the helicopter. I met Kat. She's the one that gave me Gobber." Christine looked over at Mike and saw the tears in his eyes. She squeezed his hand and smiled at him. He was struggling.

"Sounds like you had a good day with your daddy. Done eating?"

"Yeah. I'm not hungry now but I am sleepy. Can I go lay down with Snickers and Goober?"

"Yep and I'm going to lie down too. My doctor's appointment wore me out but let's give Daddy hugs and kisses first. And maybe when you wake up you can draw him a picture." Hannah nodded at her and gave Mike a small hug and kiss on the cheek. Christine took her into the bedroom and got her settled on the bed with the stuffed animal and the kitten. The little girl was out in no time flat. Christine was as tired but wanted to talk to Mike first. Chances were good that Kara and Rios would have the report and pictures done before the evening and Mike didn't need to be surprised.

"She'll get there Mike. She's still learning. At least she's giving you hugs."

"I know. I just hate the 'that man.' How'd your exam go?"

"It was rough. I was wrong on the weight. I weight eighty pounds and I also forgot about some marks and burns. I may need some help medicating and bandaging them."

"How'd you forget…where…how?"

"I just didn't think about it. He had a weird fetish of biting me. I have bite marks on both breasts. And then he liked to put his cigar out on my body if I spoke up."

"Where?"

"Underarms, behind my knees, between toes. I hate asking you to…"

"I'd rather it be me."

"I just didn't want you surprised when you got the report. I guess I've gotten so used to it that I just become…immune to it. I didn't realize how bad it was."

"I am so, so, sorry."

"Mike, you have nothing to be sorry for. You were out there saving the world. The regret I have now is that I wasn't able to bring Lizzie with me. I hate that. I know there's nothing you can do and she's probably already dead. Poor girl truly thought that all men were like her clients." Christine pulled Mike into a hug and held onto him. Mike kissed her on the cheek and released her.

"I am going to go take a nap. I love you."

"I love you too. I'll be back before dinner. If you need anything, dial two on the phone on my desk. It'll connect you to the bridge. They'll know where I'm at if I'm not there." Christine nodded and kissed Mike again before heading into the bedroom.

Mike didn't leave the stateroom immediately. He went in and checked on Hannah and Christine. They were both sound asleep with the kitten between them. He covered them both up and kissed them on the forehead. He was wearing out from all of it. He did want to get Lizzie back. It was not an ideal situation and he would need help. As much as he didn't like Tom passing judgement, it was right up his alley.

"


	5. Chapter 5

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 5

Mike met Kara and Rios outside the wardroom and they handed over the report and pictures. Fortunately the wardroom was empty and he grabbed a cup of coffee and sit down to read over everything. It was disturbing. He tried to disassociate himself from it but he couldn't. The pictures completely unhinged him. He threw a glass against the wall just as Tom walked in. He ducked it and looked at Mike suspiciously. Mike covered the pictures up and just shook his head and Tom sit down next to him.

"You aren't given to such outbursts." Mike shoved the pictures over to him. Christine wouldn't like Tom seeing them but if he was going to ask Tom to dirty his hands, he needed to know why. He also handed him the report and walked over to the coffee pot to get Tom a cup and refill his cup. When he sat down again he could see the shock and horror in Tom's eyes.

"She was raped?"

"She's convinced she wasn't but it wasn't consensual either. He threatened to take Hannah or not give food or medicine if she didn't have sex with him or his clients. She was under duress."

"It's rape and torture."

"Changes your opinion?"

"Yeah. I was dead wrong. What can I do?"

"Might mean dirtying your hands?"

"I've dirtied them plenty of times, they're stained."

"May also need to draw Sasha in. I need some intelligence."

"You've always needed intelligence."

"Cute. I need to figure out the law enforcement side of this, and this Mr. White. He's the ringleader. Christine doesn't know his first name or if that's even his correct name. But she does know the addresses. Apparently he puts them up at his apartment or house. Several women and children there and he owns some sort of penthouse. Chrissy was his 'favorite employee' but she has mentioned another girl, a sixteen year old, named Lizzie. I want to get Lizzie extracted if she's still alive."

"Did he know Christine's ties to the Navy or the Nathan James?"

"He didn't seem to know her last name. And when he told her to meet the away team, she didn't let on what she knew."

"Smart. Any chance he'll come after her?"

"I'm actually hoping for that. If he does try to come aboard, I want to be notified immediately and I don't want him killed."

"Mike, I understand what you want to do and I would want to do it too, but don't destroy your name. Christine needs you. She needs normalcy. Not a husband in prison. Course on this ship, there would be about two hundred sailors willing to take the wrap."

"This report and these pictures can't get out. I promised Chrissy discretion. She won't like me showing them to you."

"I won't say a word. I do owe the two of you an apology."

"Her more so. I'm okay. Mostly."

"I noticed how nervous Hannah was?"

"Yeah, she doesn't remember me. She refers to me as 'that man'.

"Rough. She's so tiny. I wanted to just scoop her up today."

"Yeah. I definitely want to but she's pretty scared. She thinks I'm going to make Chrissy work."

"Does she know what work consisted of?"

"Just that her mom didn't like it and that sometimes Hannah had to leave the room. Mr. White was waiting until she hit puberty and would turn her out. That's why Chrissy is so worried about Lizzie. She's only sixteen and apparently has to go to the rougher clients."

"Sickening. Why was Christine his favorite?"

"She would lay down and took whatever he dished out? Beyond that she doesn't know."

"Its sad. How is she ever going to have a normal life?"

"I am putting in for shore duty once we get to St. Louis. She needs me home every night. I can't deploy again and I won't leave Hannah again. She's the only child I have left. We'll find a house and they can both get healthy again."

"Christine only weighing eighty pounds? That's just scary. I think Sammy weighs more than she does."

"Yeah and she's worried about being pregnant. The last time was not at all consensual and he didn't use anything. I'm worried about her having contracted anything. It's a wait and see thing."

"Bastard. What'll you do? Since they have made abortions illegal to stimulate the population."

"She never agreed with abortion as a form of birth control. She'll carry the baby. She isn't sure how she feels about adoption. I've told her I'd raise the baby. I'm just hoping she's not pregnant or caught something nasty."

"We can hope. Alright, I will loop Sasha in, get her working on it. Christine may also have some idea on the way things are in Norfolk as far as law enforcement is concerned and such. I will remain completely discrete about this and I will come by later this evening and try and apologize. She may not accept it."

"She may not. But she really doesn't have the energy to hold grudges right now either. And thank you."

"You don't have anything to thank me for. Just let someone else dirty their hands, Mike. Christine and Hannah need you."

"I want to put a bullet in his brain for what he's done to her."

"I understand and I would to. But do yourself and them a favor and don't. There's about two hundred people on board that will happily do it for you. Now we might let you beat on him a bit but that's as far as it goes. Your wife and daughter need you."

"I know. I'd better get back."

Tom left and Mike took the pictures and report, sealed them in the envelopes and headed back to his cabin. Christine and Hannah were still sound asleep and so he put the envelopes in his safe. He threw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and laid down beside Christine, wrapping her up in his arms. She woke up and smiled at him.

"You came back."

"Well yes. Why wouldn't I?"

"I figured you had gotten the report and pictures and wouldn't want to."

"I did get them and I have looked at them and read the report. If anything it made me want to get back here to you and Hannah." Mike was laying on his back and Christine laid her head on his shoulder and smiled at him. The kitten crawled over to him and laid on his stomach which caused both of them to laugh.

"So, I have been thinking. Once we get to St. Louis, I am putting in for permanent shore duty. They have a training facility there and need instructors. I don't want to deploy again. I want you to think about what type of house you want. If we can't find it, we'll build it."

"I want a farm. Big kitchen that's open to the living room. I don't care about fancy dining rooms and such. I want Hannah's bedroom to have a window seat."

"That's all you want?"

"Horses, cows, chickens. Like my parents had. I know it's not your thing."

"It sounds perfect. With a pond so I can fish."

"Of course."

"And no request for the master bedroom?"

"Big walk in closet."

"Bathroom?"

"Hannah definitely needs her own bathroom."

"Given, what about ours?"

"I don't care about a bathtub, but a big shower would be perfect."

"And two sinks?"

"Absolutely. I hate when you don't wash your toothpaste out of the sink. I cleaned up your bathroom sink by the way."

"Thanks."

"It's nice to dream about something that might actually be a reality."

"If it's your dream than I'll make it happen. You will never have to worry or stress about anything ever again. And when you are ready to go back to work, teaching, then you can. If you don't want to ever go back, then you won't."

"I did homeschool Hannah. She needed to be kept caught up. And eventually she'll go back to school. She needs to be socialized. You said Sam and Ashley are onboard?"

"They are. And I talked to Tom a bit. He's going to be coming by in awhile to apologize. You don't have to accept it."

"I will. I hated the animosity. Has Tom kept them caught up?"

"I doubt it."

"Then I will work with them while we're on board. If he'll let me?"

"You can talk to him about it. I'm sure he will want that. But I do want you to hold off until you start feeling better."

"Well we may turn your office into a classroom and it may only be a couple hours a day. "

"Sounds good as long as you don't overdo it."

"I need this. I need to start teaching again. It will make me feel normal. I will never forget what I've done and if it gets out I may never get a job teaching. But the idea of helping someone, kids? It will help."

"It wouldn't hurt my feelings if you never went back to teaching. I have trouble referring to it as work, because that's how Hannah refers to what Mr. White had you doing. But I do understand you needing to teach and I will help you. I will ask that you give it a year. It'll give you time to gain weight back and get healthy again."

"Most husbands wouldn't be begging their wife to gain weight."

"Eighty pounds is not healthy. You're always attractive to me but I also want you healthy. Doc Rios said in his report you needed to gain forty to fifty pounds."

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure Hannah and Lizzie had food. The last time Mr. White told me I couldn't share the food because I was becoming undesirable. Then he didn't send any food."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. What you've gone through, it's made me love you even more. And I want you healthy. It has nothing to do with you being desirable to me. You already are but your health is much more important to me. I can't lose you. "

"So knowing what I've done, you'll still want that part of our marriage back? When the time is right, of course?"

"It's what has been done to you not what you've done. And when you're ready, you bet I do. But I don't want to hurry it either. I want it to be special for you."

"It'll be you so it'll be special. I think Hannah is waking up."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Hannah woke up and was not feeling well. She wasn't running a fever but was having some difficulty breathing. It immediately scared Mike and he called Rios. She needed a breathing treatment and Rios couldn't bring the equipment to his quarters. Christine wrapped a blanket around her and Mike picked her up. She was still stiff and nervous around him and walking through the p-way carrying her was not a good experience for Mike. Christine followed, reassuring Hannah numerous times that she was safe. She did finally lean her face into Mike's shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck. The crew they passed immediately cleared the way but he could see the looks of concern on their faces. Hannah's breathing could be heard echoing through the p-ways.

Rios was ready for them and immediately gave Hannah the treatment. Christine was handling things pretty well but Mike was terrified. He kept ahold of Hannah the entire time. She fortunately just relaxed into his chest and fell asleep. Rios cleared them to go back to his quarters and promised to come by later to check on Hannah. Christine told Mike to wake Hannah up to make the walk easier but he refused, and the walk was slightly easier since Hannah had relaxed. Mike laid her down on the couch and sit down beside her, brushing her hair from her face.

"She is actually letting me hold her. I'm taking advantage of it."

"She's getting used to you. She knows she's safe with you."

"Maybe. I'm not sure. This is why I can't deploy again. You and she are all I have left and I want her to know me. To feel comfortable with me. She's doesn't now."

"Not having pictures didn't help. She and I talked about you. She remembers you, but putting the you that she sees now and the one she remembers is hard and I don't know how to make the connection."

"I keep hoping the pictures will be enough."

"Mike, why don't you pick her back up and hold her. Waking up with you holding her might help. Some of my most precious memories of my dad is of him holding me when I was sick." Mike nodded at her and scooped Hannah back up, he cradled her like he would a baby and Christine wrapped a blanket around her. Hannah snuggled up close to him and the kitten ended up sitting next to them. Christine could see the tears in Mike's eyes and it made her sad because she knew he was thinking about Addy.

"Addy and Lucas both died very peacefully. There was not any real pain. Addy just went to sleep and slipped away."

"I hate that I wasn't there for either of them. I may not have been able to have prevented Lucas dying but maybe with Addy…"

"I don't mean to cause you pain but she dreamed about you finding us. She talked about it a lot. She was so strong and she helped me so much. She just got so weak but she tried, Mike. She tried so hard. She wanted to remain strong for you. Always such a daddy's girl."

"I miss her. I miss Lucas too. I had pretty well accepted it but knowing for a fact that she's died. It hurts. So bad. Knowing Lucas was gone was hard but this is different. It's my fault. If I had found you all, she would still be alive and you wouldn't have been hurt and Hannah would be alright." Mike let out a sob and Christine sit down beside him and pulled him close. He still cradled Hannah into his chest and had his face buried in Christine's hair. The sobs finally stopped but he stayed like that for the longest time, kissing the side of her head several times. Hannah finally woke up and offered Mike a shy smile. He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

"You gave us quite the scare, sweetie. Let's not do that again, okay? You feeling better?"

"A little. Why are you holding me?"

"Because I love you."

"Oh. It feels good. You're warm and you smell good."

"Well how about we stay like this for a little while. I like this."

"Okay, where's my kitty and Goober?"

"Snickers is right here and Mommy is getting Goober."

Hannah nodded at him and he sit the kitten on her stomach and Christine handed him Goober. Christine sit down next to them and Mike wrapped his free arm around her. She grabbed the photo album off the coffee table and they spent the rest of the afternoon looking through the pictures and reminding Hannah of family picnics, Christmas, and vacations. Hannah brightened up at some of the memories and even contributed a little. Mike stayed holding her and she had even kissed him on the cheek at one point. She had yet to refer to him as dad or daddy but seemed to be more comfortable with him.

Tom brought their dinner with him and Sam came along with a stack of books for Hannah. He was nervous and seemed to not know quite what to say. Sam and Hannah started playing with the kitten and Mike started to get the ball rolling.

"Tom, there was something you wanted to say to Chrissy?"  
"Uh, right. Christine, I am really sorry how I treated you at the docks and since. It was unacceptable and I hope you can forgive me. I can't explain or excuse my behavior and so I'm not even going to try. I would have never thrown you overboard by the way."

"Apology accepted. Mike and I spoke and I am going to start teaching Hannah a little here in his office. I've kept her home schooled but what about Sam and Ashley?"

"They haven't been to school and I have neglected their education."

"Well why don't you let me teach them? It would give me something to do and maybe get them somewhat caught up. It would get them out of the crew's way too."

"I think it's a good idea and they need it. But will you feel up to it?"

"It may only be a couple hours a day."

"Well if you're sure? I don't want you overextending yourself though."

"I will be fine. I need to do this."

"Okay. I will bring them by about nine am tomorrow."

"Sounds good."

Christine sit down next to the kids and looked through Sam's books. Tom gestured out in the p-way and Mike followed him out. Christine noticed him leaving and nodded at him.

"Sasha has been checking into things. What little law enforcement there is, doesn't want to mess with Mr. White. He's small fish where they are concerned. They have given us permission to do whatever needs done. They want to deal with him but don't have the resources. He's involved in everything from prostitution to drug dealing."

"Good. I will get the addresses out of Christine and we'll go tomorrow…"

"Mike, stay on board. Christine and Hannah need you. One of two things will happen. You'll go and do something stupid and will end up in jail, or you'll go and get yourself killed and I don't particularly want to tell Christine that you're dead. We'll bring him on board, and we will try and get Lizzie. You can do whatever you feel like doing to him, short of killing him. I will personally do that."

"Lizzie will never go with you willingly. Simultaneous hits. One at the apartment and one at the penthouse. I will go to the apartment and convince Lizzie to go. You go to the penthouse and bring him back."

"That will have to work."

"They walked back into the stateroom and Tom left with Sam, promising they would be back the next morning. Christine seemed relieved and happy knowing she was going to get to teach. After they got Hannah settled down for bed, he handed her a piece of paper and pen.

"There will be a mission tomorrow and we need the address for the apartment you stayed at and Mr. White's penthouse. Any information about weapons that you might have will be helpful."

"Mike, are you going?"

"To the apartment to try and get Lizzy. Tom is handling the penthouse."

"It sounds stupid but can you see if Ruffles is still at the apartment? It might help Hannah if she had it back. I've told Lizzie about you but take one of our pictures so she knows it's safe to go with you. She may think you're a client. And one more thing?"

"Okay?"

"You don't do something stupid. I know you want to kill Mr. White but I want you. I want our farm and you home in my bed every night. I want Hannah to have an amazing relationship with you. Please, Mike. Please."

"I will make all that happen. Tom has made me promise the same thing."

"Let's go to bed. It's not as romantic as it could be with a ten year old, a kitten and a stuffed animal but I need to feel your arms around me. It's what I want and need."

Mike nodded and she headed into the bedroom area. She changed into her pajamas and Mike changed into his pajama pants again. He scooted Hannah to the other side of the bed and laid the kitten on her belly and wrapped her arms around Gobber. He tucked the blankets around her and kissed her cheek. Christine got in next to her and Mike laid down next to her. He laid on his side and she burrowed into his bare chest. After several kisses, they both fell asleep. Mike had a hand on Hannah's chest, monitoring her breathing and the other one around Christine.


	6. Chapter 6

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 6

Mike woke up and realized that somehow Christine and Hannah had switched places. The little girl had her head on his shoulder and was looking at Snickers who was lying on her stomach. She seemed to be breathing okay and when she realized he was awake, she smiled up at him.

"Morning, sweetheart."

"Good morning."

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay. I got cold and Mommy and me switched places because she said you are like a heater. Is that okay?"

"It's perfectly fine. I love cuddling with my baby girl." Hannah nodded at him and smiled. Mike kissed her cheek and pulled her in closer. Thankfully she wasn't resistant. She didn't seem as nervous which made him happy. He'd love to hear her call him dad or daddy but at least she was warming up to him.

"Are we going to be on this ship forever?"

"No. In a couple days, we'll leave here and go to St. Louis. Your mom and I have talked and I'm putting in for shore duty so I won't deploy again. She wants a house in the country with all sorts of animals. You'll have your own bedroom and she wants you to have a window seat. Is there anything you want?"

"Can my room be pink?"

"Absolutely. Anything else?"

"Can I have Snickers inside? She can have her own little bed in my room?"

"Yep."

"And it will just be me and you and Mommy?"

"Yep, should be."

"And you won't leave again?"

"I'll have to work but I don't want to deploy again. I want your mom to relax and get healthy again. I don't care if she starts teaching again and she won't have to work like she was again."

"I'm glad. I don't know why but it made her really sad."

"Well, I am going to make sure she won't be sad like that again. Nothing but happiness for you two."

"That'll be good. I miss Lizzie."

"Yeah, your mom does too. I'm going to try and get her today. See if I can help her."

"Will she live with us?"

"Do you want her to?"

"I don't want her to have to work like Mommy did so yeah. She would come back to the apartment from work and just cry and cry. Mommy would hold her like she does when I'm sick or hurt and rock her. When Mommy worked, Lizzie stayed with me and we would play board games. She was always nice to me."

"I'll do what I can to find her and I'll try and get her to come back here with me."

"What then?"

"We'll just go from there. I honestly don't know what will happen then."

"I'd like for her to live with us. She can share my room with me if there aren't enough bedrooms."

"If I get her convinced to come with us, I bet we can find a place that has enough room. "

"Do you want her to live with us?"

"I guess I do. I definitely don't want her hurt anymore. I think your mom would feel better if she did."

"I would too. You should tell her that."

"I will. I need to get up but I do want to stay here and keep holding you."

"You need to go get Lizzie more. I'll be okay."

"I will do my absolute best. I love you, sweetie."

Hannah smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek. He still wanted her to recognize him as her father but for the time being, her just knowing that he loved her had to be enough. She laid back down closer to Christine and he tucked the blanket back around her and the kitten. Mike showered and shaved and when he came back into the bedroom, Hannah was asleep again but Christine was awake and was maneuvering herself out of bed. He grabbed her hand to help her and was rewarded with a hug when she got herself on her own two feet and then they moved to the office area.

"Any idea how long you'll be?"

"No. I'd love to be done before lunch but it's doubtful. You guys will be okay?"

"Yeah, we'll be fine. I'm excited to be teaching again. It's not quite the same as an actual class but I'm looking forward to it. You'll be careful? And not do something stupid?"

"My focus is getting Lizzie. Hannah is convinced that she needs to live with us once we get to St. Louis. What do you think?"

"That girl needs stability and love. I would love to have her with us but you have to be okay with it too. She can't be a replacement for Addy for either of us. Lizzie deserves to be loved and Addy deserves to be remembered and not be replaced. I'm not saying that is what you're thinking but I do think you need to know that I never considered Lizzie as a replacement for the daughter we lost. Doesn't mean I don't love her or want her with us. I do. But she also needs a father figure because she has never had one. I think you are more than capable of being that person but I don't want you trying to heal the hurt you're feeling regarding Addy dying with taking Lizzie in. Both girls deserve better."

"I agree. I just want Lizzie out of the situation. I'd like to say that losing Addy and Lucas isn't factoring into my decision making, but it probably is. I haven't quite come to terms with the fact that she's gone. I've may have been prepared but the reality hurts badly. I'm at peace, or as much as I can be, with Lucas dying. Maybe going to Addy's grave will help."

"Maybe. It'll offer some closure. But it's a process that you have to go through. It's painful and it hurts. Grief is the last act of love that you can give Addy. You have to let go of all the dreams and plans that you had for her. That is what hurts me. I'll never get to see her graduate, fall in love, get married, and hold her babies. I feel the same way where Lucas is concerned. That's what trips me up. All the things that we've been robbed of."

"When this is all done today, and I know you and Hannah are safe, we'll go to that grave. I think we both need it."

"You be careful. I can't lose you. Nothing stupid, either. Let Tom handle Mr. White. Just get Lizzie here and we'll figure everything out. I love you."

"I love you, too. And yes, ma'am. Bacon will be here with breakfast soon and I talked to Hannah a bit before you woke up. She's dreaming of a pink bedroom."

"Oh boy. I hate to say it but I've been thinking how I want things decorated in our house."

"Dream away."

"You're the best. Seriously, Mike, be careful."

"I will be. Have fun today but don't overdo. I will let you know as soon as I get back onboard." He kissed Christine's forehead and hugged her. He had a picture of them in his pocket. As he opened the door, he looked back at her and nodded. He would definitely be coming back to them. He passed Bacon in the p-way carrying the breakfast tray and caught him.

"I don't know how long I'll be. Christine is going to be tutoring Captain Chandler's kids today but please keep an eye on her. She wears down easy but she'll never admit it. She's been looking forward to teaching."

"Yes, sir. You have my word."

Mike nodded at Bacon and headed for the helo bay. Bacon was an odd person to ask for help but he also knew that he would be extremely protective of Christine and Hannah. Tom, Sam and Ashley met him in the hallway and both kids were excited to start their schooling again. They made their way to the helo bay. The mission had been strictly voluntary but Mike was shocked to see the amount of operators waiting for them. Operators that had voiced animosity and judgement towards Christine. The two that he was not shocked to see was Kara and Alicia.

"Okay, I appreciate each and every one of you. I know that some of you don't agree with my wife did to keep herself and our daughter alive. It was rape under duress. Captain Chandler is lead on the team that will be bring Mr. White in. He has the address. I ask that he be brought here alive. I will be having a conversation with him and then I will turn him back over to Captain Chandler. I will be leading the team that goes to the apartment that Christine and Hannah lived at. There are several women and children living there so I am asking for the female operators to assist there. I am going to try and convince a sixteen year old girl, named Lizzie, to come back with us. I also need to retrieve a teddy bear. I don't know for sure what will happen once we get back on board. I've promised Christine that I won't do anything stupid so I won't lay a hand on Mr. White. I won't tell you what to do or not to do but I will tell you it won't bother me if he slips and falls overboard, after I've had my conversation with him. Understood?"

Everyone nodded. Mike, Kara, Alicia, Sasha, Azima, and Miller were on one team. Tom, Green, Burke, Wolfe, and Miller were on the other. Fortunately both addresses were close to the dock. Tom commandeered a Jeep for his team. Mike and his team headed to the apartment. Mike didn't really have a plan but Sasha and Kara were planning on going to the door, posing as relief workers, offering food. It would gain them entry and with a lot of luck, Lizzie would be there. Sasha had been in touch with a real relief organization that would assist the other women and children. Mike waited in the ground floor of the apartment with the others while Kara and Sasha went to the second floor apartment. They had a description of Lizzie that Christine had provided, red hair, green eyes with dimples.

Kara knocked on the door and prayed that it would be easy. She would be perfectly happy to be the one to dump Mr. White overboard and when the door opened, her heart broke again. There was a young girl, no more than sixteen with red hair and green eyes. She looked like she had been crying and had bruises all over her.

"Miss, my friend and I are here on assignment from the U.S. Navy. We're looking for Lizzie. Is that you?"

"Yes. Christine and Hannah went to the docks to meet with the Nathan James and they haven't been back. Are they dead?"

"No, Lizzie. We're going to radio for the rest of our team to come up here. There are two men in our team but they will not hurt you. One of them is Captain Slattery, Christine's husband. He wants to talk to you. We also have a relief organization down there to help the rest of the women and children."

"He won't make me work?"

"No, you'll never have to do that kind of work again. Can you let us in?"

She nodded and held the door open for them. She was almost as thin as Christine and horrifically bruised. There were several women who looked just as thin and kids who looked somewhat healthier. It was cold in the apartment and there was very little food in the kitchen. Sasha called for Mike and the relief team over the radio and confirmed they found Lizzie. Within less than a minute, Mike came through the door. Kara had taken Lizzie into the bedroom that she had shared with Christine and Hannah. Lizzie had sit down on her bed and looked terrified. Kara noticed the teddy bear sitting on the bed and picked it up. It had Hannah's name stitched on the paw. As soon as Mike walked in, she handed it to him.

"Thank you, Commander. It's Ruffles. Can you stay here while I talk to Lizzie? It will make her feel better if there is a woman in the room."

Kara nodded at him and sit down next to Lizzie. The young girl was staring picking at her hands. There were marks on both wrists indicating she'd been bound. Mike pulled a chair up but kept his distance from her. He sit the teddy bear on her lap and she immediately hugged it to her. What stuck Kara was how fatherly Mike was being, and it was exactly what Lizzie needed.

"Lizzie, my name is Mike Slattery. I am Christine's husband and Hannah's dad. Here's an old picture of us so you know I am how I say I am." He took the picture out of his pocket and showed it Lizzie. She looked at it and seemed to be comparing the man sitting in front of her and the man in the picture. She finally nodded at him and he put the picture back in his pocket.

"I know you're scared and worried about Christine and Hannah. They're okay. I have another team that is looking for Mr. White. Is he who beat you?"

"Yes, sir."

"I used to be a cop, and there are bruises on your wrists. Were you bound?"

"Yes, sir. When he found that Christine and Hannah hadn't come back, he thought I knew where they were so he beat me and made me have sex with him."

"I'm sorry about that. The relief people are going to be helping the other women and children that are here but my wife and daughter want you to come with us. If you want to?"

"Where would we go?"

"Eventually we'll head for St. Louis. Christine and Hannah want a farm with all kinds of animals. You'll be completely safe and you will never have to go to any clients again. Christine said you had a rough time. You don't have any family?"

"No, sir. My mom and brother and sister died from the Red Flu. I never knew anything about my dad."

"Okay. Well the decision is yours. I won't pressure you. Christine and Hannah really want you with us and I want them to be happy. If that means making you a part of my family, then I am happy to. I promise you will never have to worry about Mr. White or any of those clients ever again. I'm going to step out and check on my other team. Kara can stay with you if you'd like and help you pack. Whether you choose to go with me or not, you can't stay here. I do need to take that teddy bear with me."

"Okay." She handed him the teddy bear and looked back down at her hands. He nodded at Kara and left the room. Kara stayed sitting with Lizzie. The young girl seemed to be weighing her options.

"Lizzie, I won't pressure you either but I can promise you, you'll have a good home with Captain Slattery, Christine and Hannah. I never knew much about my dad either but I have seen the captain with Hannah and I know you will be blessed to have him and Christine as parents. You will have a chance at a normal life. You can go to school and maybe college. I bet you'll have a room of your own that can be decorated however you'd like."

"And I won't have to see clients and Captain doesn't expect me to have sex with him?"

"Nope. I promise that will never be expected."

"I don't care about the bedroom or school. I just want to know that Christine and Hannah are okay and I really don't want to go to anymore clients or Mr. White. Anything has to be better than that."

"They treated you pretty bad, huh?"

"Yeah. It hurt really badly."

"I see those marks on your wrists, anymore marks or bruises? Burns? Christine has burns."

"No burns. Just bruises and marks on my back. I can't put medicine on them."

"Can I see them?"

"Sure." Kara lifted the back of her shirt up and it looked like whip marks. It made Kara even angrier. She grabbed the salve off the nightstand and applied it. She could tell it was soothing to Lizzie. Once the shirt was put back, Lizzie was looking around at her meager belongings.

"I don't know what to take. Most of my clothes is stuff for the clients and I don't want to ever wear it again."

"Let's see what normal clothes you have. I am also going to see if Christine has anything that she can have."

Lizzie nodded at her and they packed some basic leggings and sweatshirts in a couple tote bags. There wasn't much that wasn't lingerie related. Lizzie seemed so relieved. She was nervous and when Miller came in to get the bags, she instantly shrunk back. The relief organization had begun helping the women and children move out but Kara and Miller walked Lizzie downstairs where Mike was.

"Miller, I want you to stay at the dock to assist Captain Chandler's team. They have Mr. White and he is fighting them pretty hard. I don't want him to see Lizzie. Lizzie, since you are downstairs, I'm guessing you want to go with us?"

"Yes, sir. I don't want to be any trouble though."

"You won't be. Let's go. Sasha, Kara, Alicia and Azima will be coming with us. I will take you directly to Christine and Hannah once we get onboard, okay?"

"Okay, Commander Green, did you get my medicine?"

"Yes, it's packed. We will need to have Doc Rios to look at some marks on her back, Captain. Probably the same exam he gave Mrs. Slattery is a good idea."

"I figured."

They started walking towards the dock. Lizzie didn't have a coat and so Mike took his own off and Kara helped her into it. She was taller than Christine but just as thin. The coat was massive on her and she had the same deep cough that Hannah had. She wasn't running a fever that Kara could tell. Her hair was limp but she was a very pretty girl. Mike would have his hands full once she got healthy again.

They got to the dock and into the RHIB. The Jeep pulled up just as they were heading back to the Nathan James and yelling could be heard. Lizzie was physically shaking and Kara put her arms around her and nodded at Mike. The poor girl was absolutely terrified.

"Lizzie, you'll be completely safe. Once we get back on the James, he won't even see you. I will take you to Christine and there'll be two hundred sailors between you guys and him. Nothing bad will happen, I promise."

Lizzie nodded at Mike but she was still shaking uncontrollably. They got back to the Nathan James and Lizzie was even more terrified when she saw all the male sailors on the deck. Mike nodded towards Kara to follow him and Lizzie back to his stateroom and she kept her arm around her with Mike leading the way.

"Lizzie, things are a bit cramped in my stateroom. You can either share the bed with Christine and Hannah and I'll sleep on the couch or you can sleep on the couch."

"Okay. The couch is okay."

"Sir, I'll arrange for some extra bedding to be brought to your stateroom."

"Thank you, Commander. Okay, Lizzie, here we are." He held the door open for Lizzie and Kara and followed them in with the bag. The front room was empty but the coffee table was littered with books and papers. The bedroom door was open and Mike walked in there while Lizzie and Kara settled on the couch.

"Chrissy, babe, I'm back. Lizzie is in the office area." Christine sit up and Mike helped her out of the bed. Hannah was sound asleep with the kitten on her chest. Mike put Ruffles beside her and kissed her on the cheek. Christine had already walked into the office and had sat down next to Lizzie and was holding her. The poor girl was crying on Christine's chest with her arms around her. Christine was just rocking her back and forth.

"Chrissy, I'll send Bacon with some food and Kara is going to get some extra bedding. Lizzie will need to see Doc Rios at some point but it can wait until she's showered, ate and slept. There's some clothes in those bags. I won't be gone too long. We've got Mr. White on board. If you need anything, call the bridge on that phone and they'll be able to find me. Kara and Bacon will both be back and you can ask them for help too."

"Okay. Mike, thank you for getting her. And please, don't do anything stupid."

"I won't. Love you guys. Lizzie, just relax. You're safe."

"Love you too."

Mike leaned down and kissed Christine on the forehead. He brushed a hand over Lizzie's hair and patted her shoulder. As soon as he shut the door to the stateroom, he shook his head at Kara.

"What are the marks on her back?"

"She's been whipped. She told me that Mr. White figured she knew where Christine and Hannah were and so he beat and raped her. Her hands were bound too, but you already know that."

"Yeah. Tom already asked him if he could swim."

"Drowning is too good of a death for him."

"I agree but you and I aren't going to be around when he does die."

"Sir, I understand you not being there but me?"

"You are too close to it. I appreciate the help you're giving Christine and Lizzie but I don't want you to sacrifice your career for this. And neither will Christine. I know it's below your rank but if you can arrange for their food and take that bedding back to my stateroom?"

"Yes, sir."

Mike could tell Kara was less than thrilled with her assignment but was glad she had enough respect for authority, that she would follow orders. Bacon also didn't need to be around Mr. White. Mike figured he would be more outraged but he just wanted to get back to Christine and the two girls. He walked into the gym area where they had Mr. White sitting in a chair in the middle of the room. His hands were bound around the back of the chair and he looked pretty rough. Mike pulled a chair up but stayed out of arms reach.

"I'm Captain Mike Slattery."

"Finally, someone with some authority. These heathens showed up at my penthouse and drug me out of there."

"Yes, I know. I asked them to."

"I sent one of my best whores to try and offer you our services and this is the thanks I get. Where is she and that little girl? That girl will be the real prize in a year or two."

"That girl that you're talking about is ten years old and gravely ill."

"So you know where they are? I want my whore back."

"I'm going to tell you a story and you're going to shut up and listen. Years ago, there was this girl. She was a preacher's daughter. Good girl. She dated a little but wanted to wait to have sex until she got married. She decided to become a teacher and one day, a cop showed up to do a presentation to her third grade class. It was love at first sight. They dated for six months and her father married them. And before you ask, they waited until they were married to have sex together. The cop wasn't quite as good of a person as what his wife was but he loved her and knew it was important to her. They rented a small house and she graduated from college and got a job teaching second grade. A year later, they had their first daughter, Addison. Money was tight and her mom and dad died in a car accident. The cop had come from a military family and decided to join up to ease the financial concerns. Housing allowances and health benefits and all. They figured since he was joining the Navy things would be safe. Wrong. September 11th happened. He was an officer and was immediately deployed. She had their second daughter without him there, with another Navy wife there. They moved several times and had another baby, a boy this time. She didn't always love the constant moves. Eventually they settled here in Norfolk. Life was pretty good. Happy marriage, beautiful, healthy kids, nice house. Then he got deployed to go to the Arctic. At the time he thought it was for a cold weather test on weapons. He wouldn't be able to call or email home. What he didn't know was that a deadly pandemic had been unleashed and it created havoc. He kissed his wife and kids goodbye, told them he loved them and left. He never thought that he would never see two of those kids again, never hold them again. He never thought that his remaining daughter wouldn't recognize him when his wife and she was found. Or that she would be so sick that he feared he'd lose a third child. But the hardest thing to swallow was what his wife had been through. In order to survive and keep their child alive, she was taken advantage of by you. You forced her, a sixteen year old girl and several other women to have sex for food, medicine and housing. She was desperate and went along with it. She traded in her self esteem, her self-worth, her health, everything to feed and medicate her sick child. Her biggest fear was that the child would be taken away from her. She was raped repeatedly, beaten, tortured, and starved. She is terrified of what people think of her and she may never have a normal life again. Now, I should probably mention that that woman you've referred to as a whore is actually my wife. She's that teacher and I am obviously that officer. The ten year old is my daughter. I just want to hear your reasoning for doing this to those women?"

"None of your business."

"You raped my wife and was waiting for my daughter to hit puberty so you could sell her body. It's my business."

"It sounds like your life was pretty boring to me. I can't imagine screwing the same woman my entire life. I will give your precious wife one thing, she was really good at…" Wolf came up behind him and slapped him upside the head. It caused Mike to laugh.

"I loved my life. Still do. I have an amazing wife and daughter. There is security in loving the same woman for the rest of your life. It's safe and beautiful. Now granted, I miss my son and daughter. She does too. But that sixteen year old that you prostituted out? We're taking her with us and she'll have a normal, happy life. She isn't a replacement for the children we lost but we will love her just as much as we did them. As far as what my wife is good at, I know exactly what her particular gifts are and that is all that is going to be said about that. Now I'm leaving. Captain Chandler will be in charge of what happens next to you. The women and children that were at that house have been taken elsewhere and will be fed and taken care of. Your power is gone. Your life as you knew it is gone. I am going back to my wife and my daughters. They are dreaming about the farm we're going to buy and the house and how it will be decorated. They will be okay. You may not be. It's up to Captain Chandler."

Mike stood up before he had a chance to say anything. He nodded at Tom and walked out the door. A part of him wanted to beat Mr. White senseless but not laying a hand on him also had some satisfaction. He was pretty sure he could hear Mr. White yelling but choose to ignore it. He didn't want to know what would happen next. If it made him a murderer, he didn't care. All he wanted to be was a husband and father even if it made him leave the Navy.


	7. Chapter 7

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 7

Christine helped Lizzie get cleaned up and reapplied the medication to her back. She had her dress in a pair of the sweats that she had brought with her and one of Mike's warm sweatshirts and a pair of his wool socks. She knew he wouldn't care. Hannah had worn out during their "school time" and finally woke up. She was thrilled to see Ruffles next to her and even happier when she saw Lizzie. She had hugged Lizzie and they played with the kitten.

Kara and Bacon showed up with a large amount of food and bedding. Lizzie immediately shrunk back when she saw him but Christine reminded her that she was safe. She was hesitant to eat because she was worried about what was expected of her. Once Bacon and Kara left, she did eat a little.

"Mommy, where did Ruffles come from?"

"Your daddy got him when he went and got Lizzie. Make sure and give him a hug when he gets back."

"I think I made him sad this morning."

"How so?"

"I don't know. He told me he loved me and I didn't say it back."

"He'd like for you to say it back but he also wants you to mean it. And he'd love for you to call him dad or daddy."

"I wish I remembered him better. He gives good hugs and kisses. I know he loves me."

"Hannah, when he was talking to me back at the apartment, I could tell how much he loved you and that he wanted you and your mom to be happy. You're really lucky to have a dad like that." Lizzie had been listening the conversation but had stayed quiet up until that point. Christine leaned over and squeezed Lizzie's hand.

"Sweetie, Mike wouldn't have brought you back if he didn't want you to be a part of this family. I think you'll develop your own special relationship with him. He will never hurt you like you have been. I wish Hannah remembered him a bit better but I can tell you he is an excellent father who will love you exactly the same way he does Hannah." Lizzie nodded at her but still seemed nervous as to what her place in their family would be. Fortunately Mike walked in just then and offered them a huge smile.

"Afternoon, ladies. Is there any more of that soup?" He kissed Christine on the cheek, pulled Hannah's pigtail and smiled at Lizzie. Hannah was biting her lip like she wasn't sure what to do and Lizzie was nervous. Christine nodded at Hannah, essentially telling her to hug Mike. He had sit next to her and picked Snickers up.

"Yeah, Mike. Bacon left an extra bowl and enough for you and there's a sandwich left. Hannah, do you have something to say to your daddy?" Mike looked down at Hannah and smiled at her. Hannah looked at Christine, completely unsure of herself and then climbed onto Mike's lap. He handed the kitten over to Lizzie and wrapped his arms around his tiny daughter.

"Thank you for bringing Ruffles back to me…Daddy." Mike's eyes filled with tears and he kissed Hannah on the forehead. She had leaned into his chest and quickly fell asleep. Mike was hungry but he also wanted to hold Hannah. Christine and Lizzie were cleaning things up and Hannah started coughing again. It woke her up and scared Mike. He lightly rubbed her back and cuddled her closer.

"It's okay, baby. I've got you." Christine brought over a drink of water for Hannah and he helped her drink it. Christine had sit down beside him and brushed Hannah's hair out of her face. Hannah had her arms wrapped around Mike's neck and was resting against his shoulder. Her coughing fit had worn her out and she fell back to sleep.

"Mike, you need to eat. She'll be okay."

"I know." Mike stood up and laid the little girl down on the couch. Christine covered her back up with a blanket and the kitten crawled up beside her. Lizzie was sitting on the opposite end reading a book and so Mike sit down on the other couch to eat.

"You didn't do anything stupid, did you, Mike?"

"No. Never laid a hand on him. Can't say what's happened now but I didn't do anything."

"Good, I'm proud of you. It'll be nice to get that part of our life behind us."

"I agree. We'll be here a couple days, and once the girls get situated and feeling better, I do want to go to Addy's grave."

"I think that's a good idea. It'll hurt though."

"It will but you made a point. Addy deserves for me to grieve for her, whatever that entails. She was an amazing daughter."

"She was. She sure loved you."

"I hate that I let her down. I loved her so much. Just not sure what to do with that now."

"I wish I had an answer. I told you that she died peacefully and she did. She was so sick and she fell asleep. She never woke back up. Remember how she used to talk in her sleep? That night before she died, she was talking in her sleep. It sounded like she was talking to you. I heard her say 'Dad' several times and she was smiling."

"I just wish I had been there."

"I know, babe, I know."

"Going off that subject, it did feel good to hear Hannah call me daddy. Did you put her up to it?"

"Kind of. But I think she was ready. She knows that you love her."

"I am ready to be settled into some sort of normalcy. I am really getting into this idea of having a farm."

"Me too. Having my husband home every night, family suppers. The whole bit. You're still okay with putting in for shore duty?"

"I am more than okay. If I can't get shore duty, I'll retire."

"I hate to ask you to end your career for us."

"I will not deploy again. If I do, I will sacrifice any hope I have of having a relationship with Hannah. She deserves better. You and Lizzie do too."

"Not sure how deserving I am of that, but I will agree with you where Hannah and Lizzie are concerned. You know what I did."

"I know what happened to you and the fact that you sacrificed a lot to ensure that our daughter lived. You deserve to have a better life than what I've given you so far. I just want a second chance to give it to you. Or what's the number of chances we're at now?"

"I never counted. Marriage is give and take. As far as the life you've given me so far, it's been great. Now granted, I could have lived without two of our kids dying, but I never doubted that you loved me. I've wondered why you still did love me but I've known you did. Lizzie is asleep."

"I see that. It's going to take her sometime. Rios is going to do the same exam on her that he did on you. Do you feel comfortable with being there? I'm sure Kara or Alicia would if you don't."

"I'll be there. Might not hurt to have Kara there too. She's connected with Lizzie."

"Yeah. I wouldn't let her deal with Mr. White. She would have sacrificed her career to kill him. I left him with Tom."

"Do you think Tom will kill him?"

"If he doesn't, Wolf will. But I also wouldn't put it past Miller or Russ either. Bacon is a definite. Rios wouldn't surprise me either."

"I can't imagine there would be a line."

"You don't know my crew."

"I don't like the idea of any of them murdering him. I know I should be angrier at him but I just don't have the energy. I just want to focus on the girls. And you, of course."

"I figured I would want to beat him into a bloody pulp but he isn't worth it. There was a certain satisfaction in just walking away from him. It was unexpected but satisfying. I have condoned whatever Tom chooses to do with him but have asked not to know. It might make me a murderer too. I don't know. The entire time I was having my conversation with him; all I could think about was getting back here to you and the girls and our farm."

"Will it have any ramifications for you or any of them?"

"No. Sasha had talked to Norfolk PD. They wanted to deal with him but didn't necessarily have the resources to make it happen. They told her to deal with him however she saw fit. You are pretty black and white in how you see things but the lines have been blurred. I've operated the last couple years in a thousand shades of gray. I've killed. More people than I ever wanted to. Most were guilty of something but I am sure along the way, there were innocent people that died. Or people that were good before all this started but got caught up in the insanity and turned into someone that even they didn't like. I know you have moral issues with the idea that I've killed and I am sorry. My crew has developed the same attitude towards it, but I do promise, none of them have any qualms about killing Mr. White."

"I pretty well traded in my morals and beliefs for food and medicine. Maybe I was black and white before the pandemic but like you, I've lived in the gray for quite a while, just for different reasons then you."

"Your morals and personal beliefs are still there. I'm tired of living in the gray. That maybe why I don't mind the idea of retirement or shore duty."

"Can you imagine what my dad would say about all this? He would be so ashamed of me."

"No, he wouldn't. He would understand it. He wouldn't like the situation but he wouldn't have turned his back on you."

"I'm not so sure."

"I am seeing it from a father's standpoint."

"So if it was one of the girls?"

"I am already counting Lizzie as one of my girls. And you know what happened to her. Granted, she and I don't have a prior relationship but it's something I've accepted about her. I just wish I could take the memories away from both of you. But what I can do is love both of you, give you both a good life where that type of work is the furthest thing from your mind and just be there. Be a father to Lizzie and a better husband to you."

"You're amazing. I love you."

"I love you too. And you're the one who is amazing." Mike leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips. He pulled away entirely too soon for her liking because Hannah started coughing again. She stopped and Christine pulled him back in for another longer kiss.

"I can't wait to be settled."

"Me too. Where we have a bit more privacy."

"I agree, but I also like the coziness too. And I think both girls need us close by."

"They need you close, Chrissy. Not me, so much. They're both pretty scared of me."

"They need you too. You make them feel safe. Even Lizzie. Once we get settled into a normal life, you will develop your relationship with her and you are already starting to redevelop your relationship with Hannah. If Lizzie didn't feel safe, she wouldn't be over there sleeping."

"I guess so. How'd school go?"

"It went good. We just wore out too early."

"You'll regain your strength. I'd better get this tray back to Bacon. You girls will be okay?"

"All good here." Mike leaned over and kissed Christine again, just as gently and tenderly as before. As he left, Hannah woke up and was looking around fairly confused. Snickers was next to her and was trying to cuddle back up.

"Mommy, where did Daddy go? I wanted him to be here when I woke up."

"He went to the galley. He'll be back. Come here, sweetie." Hannah picked Snickers up and walked over to the couch Christine was sitting on. She cuddled up close to her.

"I wanted to tell him that I love him. I am really sorry I don't remember him better. I'm trying."

"I know you are and so does he. When he comes back, you can tell him. He'll love to hear it. It made him really happy to hear you call him daddy."

"Okay. I thought of something else I want for my room."

"What's that?"

"A picture of all of us."

"You mean with Addy and Lucas?"

"Yeah, but a picture of us with Lizzie. She is going to be a part of our family, right?"

"Yes. I believe so. Once we get settled, I will see about having family pictures done and you can have one in your room, along with one of our old ones with Addy and Lucas. Anything else you want?"

"Book shelves?"

"Because you love to read?"

"We need to take Goober back to Kat since I have Ruffles back. Her daddy gave him to her and she needs him back."

"Maybe your daddy can take you to see her and you can give him back yourself. I agree Kat needs him back." Lizzie woke up and looked equally as disorientated as what Hannah had been. Christine and Hannah got up and sit next to her to reassure her that she was safe.

"Lizzie, Mommy and me were just talking about how I wanted my bedroom when we get our farm. What do you want?"

"I don't know. I've never had my own bedroom or been able to decorate it."

"What's your favorite color? My bedroom will be pink. Mommy, what about your bedroom?"

"Well, your daddy will get to help pick that color since we'll share a room. Our old bedroom was beige. I figure our new one will be the same. Lizzie, how about you?"

"I like purple. Dark purple."

"Maybe when Daddy and I go to Norfolk to visit Addy's grave, I can find some home decorating magazines and we can figure out what we like. That sound like a good idea?"

"I will get my own bed? And I don't have see any clients? Why would you guys do that for me? My own mom never did things like that for me."

"Sweetie, Mike and I want you to have a chance at a normal life. We won't be perfect parents and will be strict at times but I love you and Mike is getting there too. You and I will never have to see another client. You'll have to go to work at some point but it will be something that you want to do. Definitely not see any clients."

"I still don't understand why you would want to do that stuff. I'm practically a stranger."

"Not to me or Hannah."

Lizzie nodded at her but still looked uncertain. Mike came in just then and greeted them all with a smile. Christine nodded at Hannah, telling her to go to Mike. Hannah jumped up and ran to Mike, pulling on his shirt. He leaned down and she threw her arms around his neck and he picked her up.

"What do you need, Sweetie?"

"I love you, Daddy." Mike took a deep breath and his eyes filled up with tears. He kissed her on the forehead and sit down on the couch with her still in his arms. She was still giving him a hug and he was soaking in the moment.

"I love you too, baby girl. So, so much."

Christine and Lizzie both smiled at them. It was a beautiful scene. It made Christine wish that she had a camera to capture the moment. She finally got up and sit down next to them, kissing Mike on the temple and Hannah on the cheek. Hannah was starting to get sleepy again and had cuddled up on Mike's chest.

"We were just discussing what colors we're painting bedrooms. You already have a honey do list."

"I figured I would."

"Daddy, you and Mommy need to figure out what color you're painting your bedroom. She said it would probably be the same color as you're old room. That's boring."

"I told them when we went to Norfolk I would try and find some home decorating magazines."

"Oh boy, the honey do list is only going to get longer. I did talk to head quarters. Commander Garnett is arranging for temporary housing for us, just until we find or build a place. She also has put some feelers out for a realtor. Apparently the ones she has talked to are optimistic."

"And shore duty?"

"It sounds like it won't be a problem."

"Great. And the other situation?"

"Tom took care of it. I don't know and will never know the details but he told me that it's all taken care of."

"He's dead?"

"Yes. Tom very specifically said he was dead."

"It's like a weight being lifted."

"Yep. So, Lizzie, what do you want in your room? Why don't you come over here and sit with us on this couch?" Lizzie got up and sit on Christine's other side. Hannah was on Mike's lap, looking pretty sluggish.

"I don't know. I've never had my own room before."

"Lizzie was telling us that she likes dark purple, Mike."

"But you don't have to paint the room for me. I'm fine with whatever."

"Wherever we find, we will probably have to paint so it won't be any trouble to paint the rooms a specific color. Hannah wants a pink room."

"Daddy, what color do you want for your room?"

"I'm fine with whatever your mom wants."

"Mommy, what's your favorite color?"

"Dark Blue."

The rest of their evening was spent discussing how they wanted their house decorated. Lizzie was uneasy about voicing anything that she wanted but was pretty much agreeable to anything Christine or Hannah wanted. Mike had already figured out that her childhood had not been an easy one, even before the pandemic. She had no idea what it was like to have anything of her own. Christine was used to it, but it made Mike hurt for her.


	8. Chapter 8

Okay, I do realize that the helo was shot down at the end of Season 4, but I am using some artistic license and saying they magically came up with another one! Please enjoy and review!

 **A Mother's Love**

Chapter 8

It was a rough night for all of them. Hannah had several coughing fits and Lizzie had horrific nightmares. Mike needed to stay at the edge of the bed in case the bridge needed him so after the umpteenth time of Christine crawling over him to get to Lizzie, he finally got up with her and convinced Lizzie to just lay in bed with Hannah and Christine. Then Hannah started coughing and he finally called Rios. Another breathing treatment was needed, so Mike bundled Hannah up and carried her to the medical bay, leaving Christine and Lizzie in the stateroom. Rios suggested that Hannah sleep on more on incline which was nearly impossible to do, lying in bed. Mike's solution was that he would create the incline, and she would sleep on his chest on the couch. It was not ideal for him but she was much more comfortable.

Christine woke up and smiled as soon as she saw Hannah lying on Mike's chest. He was in a very awkward position and was not sleeping. He had both arms around her and was just staring into space.

"Back sore?"

"Yeah but she's breathing better. Lizzie okay?"

"Yeah. She's sleeping pretty deeply right now. We could have figured out the incline thing so you wouldn't have to hurt your back."

"It's okay, I don't mind it. She is more than worth it. When we go into Norfolk, we may try and find her a better pillow though."

"You're a great dad. Once she wakes up, I'll try and massage your back. See if we can get the kink worked out."

"I'm supposed to be taking care of you."

"You've done a lot. Besides your back really causes you problems."

"Last couple years, I haven't had a chance to even think about it."

"Which means I need to definitely massage it."

"You're the best. I love you."

"Love you too. Hannah, time to wake up, sweetie."

It took Hannah a little bit to get woke up but once she did, she was like a little ball of energy. Lizzie woke up as well and Christine had her stay with Hannah in the office area working on drawings while she massaged Mike's back after he took a shower.

"Sorry, my hands aren't as strong as they used to be. And your muscles are tensed up. Relax, Mike."

"Uhhhhhh."

"Why are you so tense?"

"Not sure. Maybe it would easier if I just lay on my stomach?"

"We can try." Mike stood up and laid down on the bed. Christine had walked into the bathroom and ran a bottle of lotion under the hot water.

"Take the shirt off."

"This could get awkward with the girls in the next room."

"Nah. I've seen you without your shirt thousands of times and I don't mind."

"Mmmm. What are you putting on my back, it feels good but it smells like…lilac?"

"It's the only lotion I have. Just concentrate on it feeling better and relax."

"I could get used to this."

"Me too. Lift your left arm above your head."

"Yes ma'am. Keep doing that. It feels good."

Christine had to smile at Mike's enthusiasm. She felt the muscles relaxing and finally felt a gentle pop and heard Mike groan. He had relaxed completely and she thought he was asleep. She bent down and kissed the top of his head and stood up. It had been nice being able to do something for him for a change. She washed her hands, threw a blanket over Mike and headed into the office. Lizzie and Hannah were sitting at the coffee table deep in concentration.

"What are you girls doing?"

"We decided not to wait for the magazines; we are drawing how we want our rooms, Mommy. It's fun."

"Let's see?"

Both girls handed her their pictures. Hannah's dream bedroom was a sickening pink color with a bed with more pink and a white headboard and footboard. She had bookshelves and a small bed on the floor for the cat. There was the window seat with all kinds of pillows and blankets on it and a white dresser. Lizzie's room was more grown up. Cream colored walls, white furniture and dark purple bedding and curtains with a big comfy chair in the corner. Both rooms were beautiful and pretty easily accomplished considering Mike's gift with furniture making. His honey do list had just got much larger.

"These rooms are beautiful and I think we can make it happen. Hannah, all that pink? Don't you want some other color?"

"No, I like pink. Where's Daddy?"

"He's sleeping. His back was really hurting."

"It felt really good how he had me sleeping on the couch but I'm sorry his back got hurt."

"He just wanted you to breathe easier. Lizzie, what are you drawing now?"

"It's kind of fun drawing what I want the rooms to look like. I've never had a house and never got any choice. I'm drawing the kitchen now but you don't have to do it. I want a big counter where we can make cookies."

"You mean like a big island?"

"Yeah, I guess that's what it's called. I like to bake. I always had to cook for my little brother and sister and I like it. Just never had much to cook with."

"Well, you won't have to do the cooking but you can help whenever you want to. I like this idea. But I want double wall ovens. It's no fun trying to bend over to get a ham or turkey out of the oven after it's cooked and is heavy. I always made Mike do it. Wall ovens are better."

"And a window in front of the sink with plants? Like herbs?"

"We can do that. If we get a place in the country we'll have a garden."

"I've never lived in the country. And in the living room, a big comfortable couch?"

"Yep. With lots of pillows and blankets. We love movie nights. Mike will want a recliner. They aren't good design wise but he will insist."

"And a fireplace?"

"Good idea, Hannah, anything you want?"

"Will we get to play board games? And put puzzles together? I remember that from our old house."

"Oh, I bet we can do something like that. This is fun. Daddy is going to be busy making all this happen."

"He doesn't have to do any of mine." Lizzie looked almost heartbroken thinking that she wasn't going to have any of what she wanted. She was probably concerned about Mike's expectations.

"Sweetie, Mike doesn't expect anything from you. Not like what you're thinking. We may not get exactly this, but it will be pretty close."

"I don't know why you guys would do any of this for me?"

"Because everyone deserves love and a family and a home. That is what Mike and I can provide for you. In return, you get to live a normal life. You'll go to school, learn to drive and be a typical teenage…daughter. Because that is what you will be for both Mike and I. He doesn't expect sex in return. You will have a healthy, normal relationship with a father figure."

"I've never had any of that before."

"I know, sweetie. Which is why I want it for you so badly."

Lizzie looked like she was in deep thought. It made Christine's heart hurt for her. Lizzie had not talked much about her childhood other than her mom liked to party. She had never had a normal life or family. Hannah was drawing a picture and Christine knew Kara would be there soon to take them to the medical bay for Lizzie's exam. She quietly explained what would happen. Lizzie looked terrified. She told her she had already gone through the exam and she and Kara would both be there. It seemed to relax her a bit. It would not be a fun experience for them and Mike needed woke up. Christine walked into the bedroom and almost hated waking her sleeping husband up. He had turned on his side and looked so peaceful. She had always loved to watch him sleep and would be completely content to do exactly that all day.

"Mike, it's time to wake up."

"Why?"

"Good question. I need to go with Lizzie to her exam; Hannah needs breakfast and some time with you."

"Okay." He sit up but still looked dazed.

"How's the back?"

"Much better. Thanks. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I forgot how good those massages feel."

"It's okay. I was thrilled to be able to do something for you. Wait until you see the girl's pictures of how they want the house. You have a massive honey do list."

"I figured that would happen. I am looking forward to making some furniture."

"Bookshelves, bedframes, tables, kitchen cabinets…"

"Oh."

"Better get moving. Here's the shirt."

She leaned down and kissed him and headed back into the office area. Bacon was in the office area with breakfast. Hannah was talking a mile a minute to him and Lizzie looked terrified. Bacon had picked up on the vibe and looked thrilled to see Christine. They cleared the drawings off the table and he sit breakfast down. It was some type of breakfast skillet that looked and smelled delicious. Bacon left and Lizzie relaxed. Mike came out still looking groggy but his eyes lit up when he saw the carafe of coffee. Hannah ran up to him and gave him a huge hug and handed him the picture that she had drawn.

"I heard about what you want for your room but what's this?"

"I drew a picture of you and Mommy, me and Lizzie. You have a new family picture."

"I love it. Is this house in the back what you want?"

"Yeah. And see up there in the clouds, those two angels? That's Addy and Lucas."

"I absolutely love it, sweetie. It's beautiful. We'll have to get a frame for it. You feel better?"

"Yeah. Thank you for letting me sleep on you. It felt really good."

"It did. Eat your breakfast, sweetie. Mom and Lizzie have an appointment, so it's you and me for a couple hours. What do you want to do?"

"Can I take Goober back to Kat?"

"Yep. What else? Do you want to see the helo again? That's where she is."

"The bridge? I finished Captain Joe's, Uncle Tom's, Master Chief's and Miss Alisha's pictures. I have Miss Kara's too but she doesn't work on the bridge? And I have one for Kat too."

"No. Kara works in the combat center. But she'll be here in a bit. You can give her it then."

"I have one for Doctor Rios but I don't want to go back there. He might give me more of that funny medicine and I don't want another shot. I like Doctor Rios but I don't like that medicine and I hate those shots."

Mike and Christine both burst out laughing and even Lizzie was smiling. Apparently the "funny medicine" had a certain effect on Hannah or she was feeling better. She was talking a mile a minute and bouncing off the walls. It was humorous and made both Mike and Christine happy.

"Sweetie, Lizzy and I have to go see Doc Rios. We'll take the picture to him."

"He isn't going to give you guys shots or funny medicine is he?"

"He may give Lizzie some medicine for her cough. It may not be the same as yours though."

"Oh, Lizzie. You won't like it. It makes your insides all tingly like when your arm goes to sleep."

They all started laughing at that description. Hannah didn't really understand what was so funny and looked at them all suspiciously. She went back to eating until she heard Kara's knock. Mike was expecting her but had noticed the stricken looks that his wife and the two girls gave him. He hoped someday he could make them understand they were safe.

"It's Kara, you're safe." Mike stood up and opened the door and allowed Kara entry. Christine and both girls relaxed and Hannah jumped up and gave Kara a big hug and handed her her picture.

"Oh, I love it. Thank you, Hannah. Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, but I don't like the funny medicine."

Kara looked at Mike and Christine with a raised eyebrow. Hannah had settled on Mike's lap but was still just as jittery. While Mike had a hold of her, Christine quickly French braided her hair into pigtails. She wouldn't hold still any longer than that. Lizzie had gone into get a quick shower and change clothes. She was so nervous. She was still very unsettled around Mike and so he didn't feel could even comfort her in any way. It was not a good situation. He knew better than to even try and give her a hug.

Kara, Christine and Lizzie left for the exam and Mike could only hope it went well. It worried him and he knew Rios was dreading it. He got Hannah, Goober, the kitten and all the many pictures she had. Thankfully she had written the names on them. They went to the helo bay first and Kat gave her a better "tour" of the helo since she was feeling better. Mike just stood back and held the kitten and all the pictures. Hannah was having a ball. Russ came in and Hannah immediately ran to him and gave him a big hug. Mike could see the tears in Russ' eyes and knew he was remembering his two daughters, a feeling that Mike had become all too familiar with.

They visited with everyone that she had a picture for. She was starting to wear down and Mike headed her back to the stateroom. They laid on the couch and went over the pictures of their "house." Hannah was beyond excited and it made Mike want to order that they leave Norfolk and head towards St. Louis immediately. He knew it was smart to visit Addy's grave and a part of the grieving process but he was dreading it. It meant saying goodbye to her and Lucas and it wasn't something he was ready for. He cuddled his sleeping daughter that much closer to him and waited for Christine and Lizzie to get back.


	9. Chapter 9

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 9

The exam went as badly as Christine expected it to. Lizzie had the whip marks on her back, bruises everywhere and the same bite marks Christine had. She had to admire Rio's patience because it took considerably longer than her own exam had taken. Lizzie had no more trauma than Christine did but Christine had had exams before and knew what to expect. Lizzie didn't. Rios took the same labs on Lizzie that Christine had done and would retest for pregnancy and STD's. Her weight was a concern; she was malnourished and was developing pneumonia which terrified Christine. Medicine was given and Rios would need to monitor her. Kara was just as heartbroken as what Christine was, and once finished they headed back to the stateroom. Lizzie didn't handle being around a lot of people in the narrow p-ways.

When they walked into the stateroom, Lizzie headed straight for the bathroom to get cleaned up. Mike was lying on the couch with Hannah who was still sound asleep. Christine checked on Lizzie and then headed back into the living area. Kara had gone back to the CIC.

"She okay?"

"Not really. Besides the marks on her back, she was the same bite marks I have; she has bruises everywhere, malnourished and is developing pneumonia which is terrifying."

"She'll be okay. Doc Rios giving her medicine?"

"Yeah, but it didn't work with Addy…"

"Chrissy, she'll be fine. Doc Rios is good. She has plenty of food, can rest as much as she wants, it's warm. I don't know all the variables where Addy was concerned and you do. But I do know you did the best you could for Addy and Lizzie will be fine. That girl is a fighter."

"I know, but…"

"No buts. Babe, I don't blame you for Addy or Lucas dying and you shouldn't blame yourself. You have always been an amazing wife and mother and that has not changed. If there is anyone to blame, it's me. Especially where Addy is concerned. If I had found you all sooner I might have been able to get her the medical help she needed that you couldn't. You sacrificed so much to keep them alive and I love you for it."

Christine leaned forward and kissed him and tucked the blanket in closer to Hannah. She was thankful that Hannah was finally starting to warm up to Mike and just hoped Lizzie would stop being so scared of him. She had nothing to fear where he was concerned. Lizzie came back out and settled on the other couch. She was tired and it didn't take long for her to fall asleep. Christine settled next to Mike and ended up falling asleep on his shoulder.

Their day was spent pretty quietly. Bacon brought lunch and supper and they napped in between. The next day Mike and Christine were going into Norfolk with the away teams to get supplies and to visit Addy's grave. After that they would head to St. Louis. Mike was not looking forward to going to the grave and wanted to put it off, but it seemed that it was important to Christine. Kara was planning on staying with the girls and somehow had come up with nail polish and more hair stuff. Lizzie was actually excited about that. What really excited her were the ideas for the kitchen. Mike was going to have his hands full building the "perfect kitchen." It was actually enjoyable to see her getting so excited about it and interacting so much with Mike. He would have promised her the moon at that point. Christine finally got the girls settled into bed and sit back down next to Mike who was reviewing reports.

"That is going to be one spectacular kitchen."

"Yeah. You didn't voice much on it. It is your kitchen."

"Double wall ovens and a kitchen island. Big one. Pretty much in line with what Lizzie wants. I do want the cabinets to be white. I want a bright kitchen."

"Yes, ma'am. I was having trouble saying no to any of her requests."

"Don't worry. I won't tell any of your crew what a big softie you are."

"I appreciate that. They think I'm this hard ass and I would prefer to keep it that way."

"I know better. It was sweet watching you with her."

"She's been through so much even before the virus. I want her to have normalcy and a good life. She deserves that."

"You're a good dad who has a very lengthy honey do list."

"Lizzie will never see me as her dad. I will be happy if she does see me as someone who won't hurt her or expect her to have sex with me."

"She may not see you as her dad but she will know love, from both of us. The way she's described her mom, I would suspect it will be the first time she's ever really been loved. Her mom used her as a babysitting service for her younger siblings."

"That's a shame."

"Yeah, she's barely sixteen. She told me on her birthday she'd never had a birthday gift or cake. Almost made me sick."

"Some people should never be parents. There should be a test or something."

"I agree."

"I can't wait to get settled."

"Tomorrow will be rough."

"I keep coming up with stupid excuses not to go to Addy's grave. It's not fair to her though."

"No, Mike and it's not fair to yourself. It will hang over you if you don't go. I understand its letting her go, letting all the dreams and plans, even the love you had for her go, Lucas too for that matter. But you need to. She deserves it. She would want you to do it. She was a daddy's girl through and through. You were her go to. I promise she would want this for you. If you don't do it, it will hang over you for the rest of your life and you will regret it."

"It's just so hard. We've lost two of our beautiful children and I wasn't there. They must have hated me."

"Oh no, Mike. They both adored you. Even at the end. And we haven't lost them. They just aren't with us anymore. We'll be together again, just not in this life. In the meantime, they will be in hearts."

"How are you so at peace? They were your babies too?"

"Mike, I've had time to grieve, to process. You haven't. You're angry. At yourself for not being there, at the virus, pneumonia, the Navy, me, at Addy and Lucas for dying."

"I'm not angry…"

"Mike, you are."

"But I love them. I love you. How could I be angry at you or them?" Mike didn't realize it but he had gotten up and started pacing the room and was clenching his fists. Christine knew he would never hurt her but she was absolutely terrified. She hadn't meant to instigate him but it had proved her point. He was mad. At what, she wasn't sure, but he was mad.

"I know you loved them and I know that you love me. But, Mike, I sent Lucas to that camp. No, I didn't realize that there was a pandemic and he would get exposed. And Addy? If I had fought harder. Found a way to get her better food or medicine, someplace warmer? If they had fought harder? There are a thousand different scenarios where they might have lived. Mike, its okay to be mad. At me, them, the situation and yourself. It's natural. It doesn't mean you don't love us. It means you're processing. Now, can you please sit down? You're scaring me."

Mike felt horrible. He hadn't meant to scare her but he felt a lot of pent up energy and sitting down didn't seem right. He was wearing gym clothes and decided to go work out. He bent over to kiss Christine before he left and she shrunk back. It was probably involuntary but it made him even angrier. Not at Christine, but at himself. He stood back up and backed away a few feet.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm going to go work out. Don't wait up. I love you."

"Mike, I'm sorry, please don't hurt me."

"Oh God, Christine. I was only bending over to give you a kiss, not hit you. I would never do that, ever. I can't believe that you would think that about me. Seventeen years of marriage and…"

"Mike, I know. It's just like I'm hardwired. Just be patient, please? I'm going to bed. But I do love you. Come over here and give me that kiss?" Mike nodded at her and she stood up and closed the distance. As soon as she got close, she realized how stiff he was. She pulled him into a hug but he didn't seem to relax any. His arms were at his sides like he was scared to touch her. She finally pulled away but grasped his shoulders and gave him a kiss.

"Go work out. Relax some. And Mike?"

"Yeah?"

"I am sorry. I feel like I just broke some cardinal rule. I just hope it doesn't jeopardize things. I'm really looking forward to our farm and having you home every night."

"Me too. Don't worry. We're fine. You have nothing to be sorry for."

She nodded at him but still looked nervous. He finally put his arms around her and kissed her again. It was so soft and sweet that she prolonged it as long as she could. He finally pulled away but kissed her again on the forehead.

"Get some rest. If you need me, the bridge will be able to find me. I love you."

"Love you too."

He kissed her again on the cheek and left. It made Christine want to cry. She felt like she had really screwed something up with him. He had never laid an abusive hand on her and she had implied that he would. She thought about staying up and waiting on him but she was exhausted. Mike had always been a note writer and so decided to leave him a note.

" _Mike,_

 _I am sorry for my reaction. You have never given me a reason to think that you would hurt me in anyway and knowing now that I unintentionally grouped you in with the men that have hurt me must have really hurt you. You deserve better than me. You have always been amazing to me and the kids. The perfect husband and father. And in the last couple days? I have fallen even more in love with you. Now I've jeopardized that. And what's worse is, I have no idea how to fix it._

 _I want so much with you that I don't deserve. The girls, the farm, you home every night and in my bed. I know it sounds stupid considering everything and you may not want to, especially now, but I want the physically intimacy that has always been such an amazing part of our relationship. I know it's not the most important thing but after everything that I've done, the idea of having a normal relationship with you is so appealing._

 _I love you so much and just hope I can repair what I've messed up,_

 _Christine"_

Christine put the note on the coffee table where Mike would see it and headed into the bedroom with the girls. After getting ready for bed, she laid down next to Hannah. She didn't figure she would sleep and it did take a while. She turned on her side and cuddled in close to Hannah and prayed that Mike would forgive her actions. She finally cried herself to sleep.

Two hours later, Mike let himself in to the stateroom. He was glad to see that Christine was getting the rest she needed. The workout had been rough and his hands were sore from hitting the punching bag a little too hard without the gloves on. Afterwards he went for a long walk, checking on engineering, the bridge, CIC, even the galley. It was well past midnight and so there weren't too many crew around. He was sore and wanted a shower but didn't want to disturb his girls. He looked in on them and they were all sleeping soundly. He quickly went to the bathroom and changed clothes and sit back down to relax when he noticed the note sitting on the coffee table. He picked it up and read it. It made his heart hurt for Christine in a whole different way. He considered going in and waking her up to assure her of his love and had even walked back into the bedroom. He knelt down to shake her awake and when he looked at her face, he noticed how wet her cheeks were and knew she had cried herself to sleep. Instead of waking her up, he pulled the blanket up closer to her, petted the kitten that was next to Hannah and checked both girls breathing. He kissed Christine's cheek and headed back out in the office area. He wouldn't be sleeping well that night.


	10. Chapter 10

" **A Mother's Love"**

Chapter 10

Christine woke up to hear warning bells and voices over the intercom. Mike practically ran through the bedroom, grabbing clothes out of the dresser and into the bathroom. She waited for the toilet to flush and got up and stuck her head in. Mike was wearing his boxers and was quickly shaving. He nodded at her to come in and resumed what he was doing.

"I have to work for a while this morning. Stay in the cabin. Bacon will bring you all breakfast. We may need to put off going to Addy's grave depending on what is going on. If you need Rios you can dial four on that phone. 3 is the galley, and 2 is the bridge. I will try and get back as quick as I can. Can you hand me those pants?" Christine nodded at him and had noticed the look of exhaustion on his face. She handed him the pants and his belt, followed by his shirt and BDU jacket. His boots were in the office area and she went and grabbed them for him. He put them on quickly and was completely silent. He was headed out the door quickly when she grabbed his arm and pulled him in.

"Chrissy, I need to go. You and the girls will be safe. Tom may send Sam and Ashley to you so they aren't underfoot."

"Okay that's fine. Mike, be careful…I love you."

"I love you too." He stopped long enough to kiss her and then was out the door. Thankfully the girls slept through everything. She showered, cleaned the bathroom up, and got ready for the day. The living area was a disaster. Christine could tell by the state of the bedding that Mike hadn't slept and the note was nowhere in sight. Lizzie and Hannah eventually woke up and Christine helped them get ready for the day. Both girls seemed to be looking for Mike and were worried about him. Around breakfast time, Tom came to the door with Sam and Ashley. He gave her no indication of what was going on but was wearing the same outfit the away teams wore and told her he wasn't sure when they would be back. Bacon followed with breakfast for her and both girls and Tom's kids. He even seemed slightly frazzled.

"Bacon, what's going on?"

"Not sure, Ma'am. Captain Slattery and Chandler will both be going to the dock soon."

"Is it dangerous?"

"Not sure. Ma'am, I'd better get going but if you need anything, you can dial the galley and I'll come. Just hit 3. I'll get the dishes at lunch."

With that he was left, and Christine started getting nervous. She knew Mike was capable but he was exhausted and distracted. It terrified her. She tried to keep herself and the kids occupied which was not easy. Lizzie and Ashley had become pretty good friends and Sam and Hannah had always been buddies. Bacon brought lunch but gave no indication as to what was going on. It was almost suppertime when there was a knock on the door and she opened it to Tom, and her eyes immediately went to his shirt which was covered in blood.

"No…"

"Chris, step out here with me, the kids don't need to hear this." She looked towards the kids and thankfully they were all distracted. She stepped into the p-way with Tom and immediately noticed Kara and Alicia standing next to Tom.

"Christine, apparently Mr. White had someone over him. He was mad that we killed Mr. White and have Lizzie. We met him at the dock this morning and…"

"Mike?"

"He was pretty seriously injured. Took a shot to the neck. Went in above his vest. He's with Doc Rios now. He lost a large amount of blood and Doc isn't sure he'll make it. He wanted me to come and get you to say whatever needed to be said before he starts the surgery. Lieutenant Granderson will stay with the kids. We need to hurry."

"The kids? What do I tell them?"

"Ma'am, I'll talk to them. You go to your husband."

Christine nodded. It made her feel like a horrible mother. Hannah would be terrified. As they made their way to the medical bay, Christine prayed. More than she had since Addy had died. They finally got to the medical bay and she immediately noticed the flurry of activity around the exam bed. Doc Rios turned to look at her and she saw the look of sympathy in his eyes.

"Mrs. Slattery, Captain Slattery took a shot to just above his vest, the bullet splintered the collarbone and is lodged next to his windpipe. It is extremely dangerous to get it out. He has lost a considerable amount of blood and we have the oxygen mask on him. I can't intubate him right now. That's where the danger is. If I hit that windpipe, it could occlude his airway. He's awake and I am going to keep him that way because if I knock him out, it will reduce his drive to breath. He'll be restrained. I can give you a minute or two with him before I start operating."

"Thank you, will he be in any pain?"

"Probably some but I will try and keep it at a minimum."

Rios nodded at his assistants and they left the room. They were close by in case something started happening but far enough away to give her some privacy. She walked over to be the bed and noticed how pale he was. His eyes were squeezed shut and his hands were in fists. She put her hand over his and smoothed his hair with her other hand. Mike opened his eyes and tried to talk but couldn't.

"You listen to me, you have never broken a promise you ever made to me. You've promised me all kinds of stuff, the girls too. Don't you go breaking those promises. I can't lose you. The girls can't lose you. This crew can't lose you. You are the only man I've ever loved or ever wanted to be with. I know I hurt you last night and I want to fix that, but you have to let me. Don't nod but let me know you understand what I'm saying. I love you so much."

Mike squeezed her hand and traced "I love you" on her palm with his finger. Doc Rios came back in and she knew it was time for her to leave. She bent down and kissed his cheek and nodded at Doc Rios. She squeezed his hand again and left. Tom, Russ and Kara were waiting in the hallway and Kara immediately pulled her into a hug.

"Chris, I'm going to go in and help Rios and his assistant hold Mike down but he'll be fine."

"This is my fault, Tom."

"No. It isn't. Did you know there was anyone over Mr. White?"

"No."

"Well, then you wouldn't have been able to warn us. As soon as Mike said his name, the guy was gunning for him."

"What happened to him?"

"He's dead. You don't need to worry about anything or anyone other than Mike. I'm not going to go into specifics right now. I'd better get in there; Kara will stay out here with you."

Tom patted her back and Russ and he walked back into the room. Christine had no indication as to how Mike was doing and she desperately wanted to peek in but Kara blocked her.

"Don't look in there."

"If it was your husband…"

"I would be too."

"It's my fault."

"You didn't know about…"

"No. He was distracted and tired. We had a bit of a spat last night. He had gotten upset about something with Addy and I kind of instigated him getting mad because I think he's angry at me for Addy and Lucas dying. He was going to go work out and bent down to kiss me and I drew back. Mike has never raised his hand at me and it hurt him that I would think that. Then I wrote him this stupid note. I was asleep when he came back and we barely spoke this morning."

"Had he read the note?"

"Yeah. He'd barely slept. He looked exhausted."

"And you think because of that, he got shot?"

"Yes."

"Christine, you heard Captain Chandler, that guy was gunning for Captain Slattery."

"But if he hadn't been so tired and distracted, he might have avoided getting shot."

"Or, it might not have mattered. He might have been shot regardless. I was with the away team. The entire time, he was fighting to get back to you and those girls. He should have been killed instantly from that shot but he was fighting for you, for Hannah and Lizzie."

"I don't deserve him."

"You do. And he says the same thing about you."

Christine shook her head and started to say something but Rios walked back out. She peeked over his shoulder and could see Tom and Russ on either side of Mike but had no idea how he was doing. She turned back towards Rios with a look.

"He made it through. He will have a pretty nasty scar and I have a drain in to stop any swelling. He's still awake but I've given him some medicine for pain so he may go to sleep soon. He's already asking for you."

Christine nodded at him and walked in. Tom and Russ got up and Tom promised her that he would check on the kids and let them know that Mike was okay. She would need to go back to them at some point but she needed the time with Mike at the moment. She sit down on the exam bed next to him and before she even realized it she had her head on his chest and was sobbing into it. He'd wrapped both arms around her and just held her. She cried until her throat hurt and she had a headache.

"It's okay, Chrissy. It's okay."

"No…I…" Mike put his finger to her lips and then stroked her cheek. He pulled her up to where they were face to face. She was basically lying on top of him and Rios would throw a fit if he saw them. He kissed her forehead and rubbed his hands over both arms. She was tense but at least it was not out of fear.

"It's not your fault. Tom said you didn't know."

"But you were tired and distracted. Because of me. I made you mad and then…"

"Babe, enough. You had a point. Maybe I am angry about Addy and Lucas. But I promise it's not at you. And I don't want you to be angry at yourself either. It isn't fair to either of them. As far as last night is concerned, I should have reacted better. It's not like I don't know some of what you've been through. I know you know this, but you don't ever have to fear me. I will never hurt you and you didn't ruin anything. I still want those things with you. The farm, the girls, being home every night. And yes, I want the physical intimacy back with you. When you're healthy and ready for it, I want it. Badly. Because I want you to feel loved and beautiful. Now, I am getting really tired and I know you must be exhausted. As much as I would love to have you sleep here with me, the girls must be terrified. Why don't you go back and get some rest and then when I wake up, I'll send someone to get you girls. I want to see Hannah and Lizzie too."

Christine nodded at him and reached up and kissed him. It was sweet but passionate. She finally pulled away so he could breathe. It made her wish that she was already healthy and they were more settled. He would never make that move until then and it was smart. His eyelids were getting heavy and she sit back up and watched him fall asleep. After being satisfied that he was sleeping, not in pain and warm enough, she kissed him again and headed back into the p-way where Tom and Rios were standing.

"He's back asleep. Seems comfortable. He wants me to rest and said he would send for me and the girls when he wakes back up. I honestly don't know how to get back to his quarters."

"I'll take you. I have to get Sam and Ashley."

"Ma'am, I'll send someone for you all but I am going to encourage you all to rest. I will take that drain out tomorrow and will probably move him back to his stateroom then. He'll have to monitored."

"That won't be a problem."

Rios nodded at her and Tom and she headed back to the stateroom. He stayed pretty quiet. She was trying to memorize the way back so she didn't always require an escort. It was frustrating.

"How do you guys not get lost in these ships?"

"Years of practice. It's not a problem to escort you."

"Thanks. How did the girls handle Mike getting shot?"

"Hannah didn't understand it, Lizzie was scared. She actually gave some good information on the guy from today. Apparently he was one of her clients. He wasn't so much over Mr. White. Just mad that Lizzie got taken. He knew it was Mike that had taken her in."

"He's dead?"

"Yeah. I'll be honest, Mike did kill him. I know you may not want to know."

"What about Mr. White? I know Mike told you he didn't want to know but…"

"He was weighed down and drowned. We recovered his body and he was cremated."

"So no doubt then?"

"None. And it wasn't any single of us that did it. It won't come back to Mike in anyway. And today won't either."

"Thanks, Tom."

"I would have never figured you justifying what we did to Mr. White. Mike killing that guy today was justified."

"Lines have been blurred. I just didn't want Mike to do the killing where White was concerned. And I know that is strange."

"No, I get it. I agree. Here we are."

Christine and Tom walked into the living area and she immediately noticed the fear in Lizzie's eyes. Tom collected Sam and Ashley and Christine sit down next to Lizzie and Hannah cuddled up to her.

"Girls, your dad is okay. He's resting right now and he wanted you both to get some rest. Me too. He'll send someone for us when he gets woke up. He wanted me to tell you both that he loves you and wants to see you after we've all slept."

"I drew him a picture, Mommy. I was scared."

"I was scared too. Really scared. Now his neck is going to look a little funny and he'll be sleeping plenty. Lizzie, you okay?"

"I'm okay. That guy was really mean and I'm glad he's dead. Does that make me a bad person?"

"No. I'm glad that Mr. White is dead. We need to shift our focus off them though and focus on getting better. Healing together as a family."

"I still can't figure out why you guys are doing this for me. Especially Mike…or Dad?"

"He doesn't expect you to call him Dad. But he does love you and he does want you to know that he will never hurt you or expects anything. The rest will come in time. As far as why? It seems like the right thing to do. I love you and Mike knows that. He wants me to be happy and so he wants you with us. The thing is, he gets the advantage because he gets another daughter whom he already loves as much as he does Hannah. I know you have never had this type of family and the biggest qualification is that we just love each other."

"It's going to take a while to get used to. It did scare me when they told us he'd been shot and that he was so bad hurt."

"Me too. Let's go lay down that way when he wakes up, we can all go see him."

Both girls got up and they settled into bed. The kitten was on Hannah's stomach and Ruffles was between the two girls. Christine set the small alarm for two hours out and cuddled close to Hannah. She was still worried about Mike but she fell asleep pretty quickly.


	11. Chapter 11

" **A Mother's Love"**

Chapter 11

About three hours later, Rio's assistant came and got them. Christine and both girls had slept and ate supper. He let them know that Mike had also rested and was eagerly awaiting their arrival. Doc Rios was also going to give both girls a quick exam to make sure they weren't getting sicker. When they got there, Mike had been moved to a small bed in the next room and was sitting up and eating. Hannah immediately ran to him and hugged him tightly.

"I was so scared, Daddy. I didn't want you to go to Heaven yet."

"It's okay, sweetie. I didn't plan on it. I still owe you that pink bedroom. And Lizzie and your mom want that kitchen."

Hannah had all but crawled onto Mike's lap. Normally Christine would have gotten onto her but she couldn't say a lot since she had been lying on top of him earlier. Lizzie seemed nervous, like she wanted to sit down but wasn't sure of her place. Christine put her arm around her and whispered in her ear.

"Go, Lizzie. He won't hurt you and he will want you close too."

She nodded at her and sit down on Mike's other side. Mike seemed slightly surprised but smiled at her anyway. He was careful not to touch her but Christine nodded at Lizzie. Hannah had settled on Mike's other side and Lizzie leaned her head onto Mike's shoulder. He looked even more surprised but put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. Christine could tell he was thinking about Addy because of the tears in his eyes but was also focused on Lizzie. Christine was watching Lizzie closely and noticed there was no fear in her eyes. It made her feel better.

"Doc says I'll be able to go back to the stateroom tonight. He's taking the drain out in a bit."

"Good. The girls and I would have missed you."

"I would have missed you all too. Chrissy, sleeping arrangements tonight? I'm not sure I can handle the couch but the girls?"

"We'll sleep on the couches." Lizzie had lifted up from Mike's shoulder and looked at both of them.

"I hate that idea, sweetie. You girls need your rest too." Mike was looking down at Lizzie. He still had his arm around her and was smoothing his hand over her hair. Christine loved watching him interacting with her. They were developing a sweet relationship without even realizing it.

"It's okay. We can breathe better. Right, Hannah?"

"Yeah, Daddy! And you can have Snickers if you want her? Or Ruffles? They make me feel better." Mike chuckled at Hannah and kissed the top of her head. She gave him another hug and kissed his forehead.

"You can keep Snickers and Ruffles. Speaking of which, where is Snickers?"

"Mommy made me put her in the bathroom so she didn't make a mess."

"Good idea."

"Girls, Doc is wanting to check your lungs. Lizzie, I'll be close by and you'll be safe. Why don't you give me and Dad a moment?"

Mike gave both girls a kiss on the forehead and they headed into the main room. Christine sit down next to Mike and kissed his cheek. He was trying to finish his supper.

"We okay, Mike?"

"Yeah, we're good. I am actually looking forward to sharing a bed with you with no kids."

"Yeah, but we can't…"

"I know. I want it to be a bit more special then it just being because we can."

"It'll be special for me because it's you."

"Mmm. In any case, I'm looking forward to it. Lizzie surprised me."

"She's getting there. Just give her time. She's never had a normal family." Rios walked in and offered them both a smile and the girls packed into the tiny room.

"The girls are both checking out okay. Captain, if you're finished, I'll take another set of vitals and we'll get that drain out. I may need to put a stitch or two in. The girls may not want to see that."

"Girls, let's go to the other room. "

Rio took the drain out which was painful. The stitches went in and he rebandaged him. Vitals were taken and he was instructed on what certain symptoms would indicate and when to call for help. Rios had a bag packed with bandages and some pain medicine. At the bottom of the bag was a box of condoms. Mike looked at Rios with raised eyebrows.

"It's only a matter of time before you need them. Just take it easy."

"How? Why do you have them?"

"Captain, do you really want the answer to that? We have a lot of young sailors on board."

"I'm turning a blind eye."

"Good idea."

"Christine isn't healthy though and I don't feel right about it."

"I did some checking after Mr. White died. He showed no signs of anything nasty. Now she does need to be retested but it's a good indication. Psychologically speaking, just when she is ready. You know her better than anyone and you'll know. Best to be prepared. Now my suggestion is, wait a bit since you're recovering too. You've lost a massive amount of blood and should not have survived today. You need rest."

"Copy that, Doc. Thanks."

"Drink plenty of fluids and if you notice any of those symptoms…"

Mike nodded at him, grabbed the bag and rejoined his wife and girls. He was moving pretty slow and Rio's assistant was going with to set up the IV. He was exhausted. The assistant had to help him some but they finally made it to his stateroom and the assistant suggested he go straight to bed. After throwing on a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt he got settled and the assistant reattached the IV and gave him some pain medicine. The bag of bandages was stowed in his nightstand and the assistant left. Both girls had changed into their pajamas and gave him a kiss good night. Hannah insisted that he needed Ruffles with him and tucked it the teddy bear in close to him. Mike didn't have the heart to tell her he would just sit the bear on the floor and Christine helped them get settled on the couches with instructions to come in and wake her up if they needed anything. Hannah was tucked in and Lizzie settled in. Christine stayed with them until they fell asleep and finally came into the bedroom and then the bathroom to change into her pajamas.

"You didn't have to wait up. You're exhausted."

"I know, I wanted to."

"Okay. I'm leaving the door open so the girls don't get scared."

"Good idea. Come here." Christine made sure the door was open, shut the light off and crawled in next to Mike. He pulled her as close as he could and immediately started laughing.

"What?"

"Your feet! They're like icicles. I forgot how cold they are."

"Not something you missed?"

"I missed everything about you. Even your cold feet. Top drawer over there, is some socks I have left over from the Arctic. Please put them on?"

Christine laughed and climbed over Mike to get to the dresser. She found the socks and put them on quickly and looked into the living area to check on the girls.

"They are sound asleep."

"I'm about to join them." Mike stifled a yawn and Christine crawled back over him, basically straddling him, and bent over and kissed him. Despite being exhausted, he wrapped both arms around her and returned the kisses which were interrupted by his yawn. She laughed and laid down beside him, wrapping her arms around him.

"Go to sleep, Mike."

"Hey, I forgot to ask, you mentioned needing help with your bandages? Do you still?"

"I do. I'll change your bandages in the morning, if you change mine?"

"So romantic?"

"Considering you'll be bandaging my armpit, not so much."

"What about the other marks?"

"Don't need bandaged. I just hope they don't scar. You loved to…"

"I still will, just don't want to scare you."

"We'll get there. If you don't care, I am going to sit back up and take this bra off?"

"If it makes you more comfortable."

Christine nodded and pulled the bra off from under her shirt. Before the pandemic, it was something she frequently did and Mike would always try to "help" her. Tonight, though, he was exhausted and was fighting sleep. She kissed his cheek and checked the bandage on his neck. He was drifting off to sleep and she realized Hannah's teddy bear was on his other side.

"Ruffles?"

"Mmm. Hannah insisted. One of those things my crew doesn't need to know about."

"That you are an amazing husband and father? I think they know that."

"I just have an amazing wife and daughters."

"Get to sleep, Mike. I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed her and she settled onto his shoulder and wrapped his arms around her. It didn't take either of them long to fall asleep. A couple times through the night, one of the girls would wake up, coughing. At one point, Hannah came in and got in bed with them. She wrapped both arms around him and curled up close to him.

Mike woke up in almost agony. He could tell it was scaring Hannah and she started crying. Christine quickly got his pain medication and gave it to him and tried her best to comfort Hannah in the living area while Mike tried to settle.

"Sweetie, Daddy is okay. He's just hurting. The pain medicine will make it better."

"But I don't want him to go to heaven. I love him."

"Oh, sweetie. Just because he's in pain doesn't mean he'll die. Would you feel better if you could go back in there with him?"

Hannah nodded at her vigorously. Christine wiped the big crocodile tears off her cheeks and walked her back in. Mike was sitting up but was looking pretty dazed from the pain medicine.

"Mike, Hannah is pretty worried and I told her she could come in here with you."

"Come here, baby."

Hannah crawled up next to him and seemed to be assessing him. She wrapped both arms around him and cried into his shoulder. He gently rocked her back and forth. She fell back asleep and Christine helped Mike get settled back into bed.

"She was sure terrified."

"She just cried. I wasn't sure what was going on."

"Hannah thought since you were in pain, you were going to die. She was scared to lose you."

"Oh, poor baby girl."

"You feel better?"

"A little. I am tired. And you must be exhausted."

"Yeah, school is going to be shortened today. Hannah is in no mood and Lizzie is almost as scared."

"I hate that I did that to them."

"It's okay. Breakfast will be here soon. I'll bring yours in and will wake her up then. Try and stay awake. You need to eat."

"Yes, ma'am."

Breakfast was a pretty quiet affair. Both girls ended up staying in the bedroom with Mike. Hannah on the bed and Lizzie sitting on a chair eating. Christine fussed over them. Mike was still in some pain and as soon as breakfast was done, he relaxed back into bed and was quickly asleep. Tom brought Sam and Ashley to Christine and checked on Mike. The entire crew was extremely worried about him.

"We still have to make a supply run and understand that you and Mike need to take care of some personal business so Meylan has decided to hold us in port a couple days to a week longer. As soon as we get that stuff taken care of, we will head for St. Louis."

"How long will that take?"

"Two weeks? Possibly longer. Weather and such factors in. You understand."

"Yeah, of course. I always wanted an anniversary cruise. Just never imagined it would be on a Navy destroyer."

"When is your anniversary?"

"December 1st."

"Well we will be sailing off the tip of Florida so the weather should be nice. Gulf of Mexico. It's definitely not a cruise in the normal sense."

"Considering the last several months for me, it's the height of luxury."

"That's sad."

"Right now, it's perfect."

Tom checked in on his two kids and promised he would be back around lunchtime to get them. He was formulating a plan and needed Kara Greene's help. He didn't have a romantic bone in his body but felt he owed Mike and Christine something. He wanted to throw them a party and provide a way for them to "renew their vows."

He found Meylan and told him of his plans. He was surprised at how behind the plans he got. They would be sending a team into Norfolk that day to get supplies and they all pooled money to get the needed supplies. Wedding dress and shoes for Christine, decorations, everything. Before too long the entire crew was getting involved but were under strict instructions it was a surprise for Mike and Christine. The excitement was almost palatable.

Kara went with the away team with the special assignment of finding a dress, shoes and decorations. She and Azima found the perfect dress for Christine. An off white, three quarter sleeve, floor length number. It was beyond beautiful. They decided to forego the veil and got her flats. They also got silk flowers and Tom was working on food and wine. It had become a day of celebration for the entire crew after a difficult deployment. Kara had also begun making arrangements to keep Hannah and Lizzie with her and Alicia that night. Mike and Christine might not want them away from them but she wanted to give them privacy if they wanted it. She pulled Tom away from the rest of the group because she needed his help with something.

"I have the address to a jewelry store for Captain Slattery. He wants to get Mrs. Slattery a new ring. For a surprise I was thinking the day that they came into Norfolk, I sidetrack her getting her some new clothes while Captain Slattery gets the ring. Can you help with that?"

"Sure. I'm beginning to wonder if I shouldn't clue him in on this."

"Up to you. I like the idea of a surprise, especially for her."

"I need to go get my kids and I will ask for a meeting with Mike. It's getting a bit big on us."

"Yeah, he'll suspect something if you insist on going for the ring. I was also thinking the girls would stay with Alicia and I in our quarters that night."

"They'll want the privacy to do whatever."

"I don't want to know, sir."

"You suggested it. Besides, before the pandemic, if you had seen the two of them together, there would have been no doubt in your mind that they were crazy about each other."

"A lot has happened since."

"They're still crazy about each other."

They went back to the Nathan James and Tom made his way to Mike's stateroom. The kids were still mid lesson so Tom asked about Mike. Mike was in the bedroom area already bored stiff. He didn't handle being laid up well. Tom shut the door and sit in the chair next to the bed so he could keep his voice low.

"How'd things go in Norfolk?"

"We got supplies. Christine was telling me this morning about your anniversary being while we were sailing to St. Louis."

"Yeah, wish I could figure out something for her."

"We already have, bud. We were going to keep it a secret but it's gotten a bit big. We've made arrangements for you two to renew your vows on your anniversary. Kara Greene found a dress and shoes for Christine, there are flowers and food and wine. Still working on everything but Kara made the suggestion I take you to get the rings you want for Christine so when you get off your lazy butt, she'll distract Christine with some shopping and you and I will go to the jewelry store."

"That sounds amazing. Christine always said she wanted an anniversary cruise. I would never go for it. The last thing I wanted after a six month deployment was to be on a cruise ship."

"She made a joke about it this morning. Something about her anniversary trip being on a Navy destroyer. Then she made the remark that it was luxurious to her which was kind of sad."

"You didn't see the apartment they were at."

"Bad? Kara is also going to offer to keep the girls overnight for you. She knows you and Christine may not be comfortable with it but I think it's a good idea. And if something comes up, Kara can bring them back to you."

"Did you know Doc has a supply of condoms? He put some in my bag of bandaging. "

"I don't even want to know."

"Me either. Just said it was a good idea to turn a blind eye to it."

"But you'll take advantage of the supply, huh?"

"Maybe, if Christine is comfortable with it. I won't pressure her. She doesn't even know I have them."

"I don't want any more details. She was scared when I came and got her yesterday. As soon as she saw my shirt covered in your blood… Well, her reaction wasn't good."

"Probably should have taken a minute and changed."

"Doc wanted her there quickly. You were circling the drain."

"I know, thanks for everything you did. One of the things we need to do when we go into Norfolk, is go to Addy's grave."

"You ready for that?"

"No. Not sure I will ever be ready. But she deserves it."

"And you do too."

"That's what Christine says. She had Lucas' name put on the marker too. Purely symbolic as she doesn't know where his remains went to. It made her feel better and I like the idea too. Addy was cremated and her remains could be moved but it doesn't feel right."

"So morbid to even think about this."

"It's my reality. She'd be sixteen and instead of picking out a car for her, I'm picking flowers for her grave."

"Jeez, Mike."

"It sucks."

"I hope I never find out how badly."

"Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Thanks for arranging our anniversary for us. I hope I'm back on my feet tomorrow so we can go and then get underway."

"How'd Doc feel about that?"

"If he doesn't know…"

"Doc Rios knows everything."

"I should be good to go. I'll rest up today."

"Let me get Sam and Ashley out of your way then."

"They've barely made a peep but Sam has gotten it into his head that a pirate got ahold of me."

"Did you tell him that?"

"Maybe."

"Thanks."

Tom patted Mike's arm and left the room, grabbing Sam and Ashley on the way out of the living area. Hannah immediately made a run for Mike and climbed up on the bed with him. She wanted to sleep. It amazed Mike how quickly they had reestablished their bond. She may not remember him from before that well but she had become very attached to him. She had brought a book in with her and Mike read it to her and before too long they were both sound asleep. Lizzie had fallen asleep on the couch and Christine spent the afternoon tidying up the two rooms.


	12. Chapter 12

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 12

Mike was slow on his feet but insisted that they go into Norfolk the next day so the Nathan James could get underway. Alicia and Kat would be occupying the two girls. Christine was nervous about the trip due to being scared she would have to face a former client and knowing she wouldn't be with Mike the entire time. At the docks, she and Kara and Azima split off. Wolf and Miller were accompanying them but merely as security. Mike and Tom were taking care of the supply runs and they would meet midday to go to Addy's grave.

Kara had found a couple clothing stores that would assure that Christine would have clothes as she gained weight back. They also made sure they got some stuff for Lizzie and Hannah. She picked out some teaching supplies that she needed for all four kids and home decorating magazines. She looked at Kara suspiciously when they walked into a lingerie store.

"I admit I need bras and panties of my own and some of those pajamas look nice but I am sure I can find that stuff cheaper somewhere else."

"Captain insisted that we get you anything that you wanted and it's more convenient to just stop here. Get you the necessities and maybe something for your anniversary. Captain told me it would be while we were on our way to St. Louis."

"I doubt Mike wants me to spend the money on that."

"Doesn't have to be anything fancy. Just have it when you're ready for it, even if it's after your anniversary. How many years?"

"It'll be eighteen."

"Danny and I have only been married two years. What's the secret?"

"To a happy marriage?"

"Yeah."

"No secrets and don't go to bed mad. Always kiss goodnight. And tell each other that you love them at least once a day."

"Sounds good but with a military marriage?"

"Don't laugh and don't judge. I would buy us both a notebook before he deployed and we would write notes in it each day. At the end of the deployment, we'd exchange the notebooks. It would just have the day to day stuff. But we would always write that we loved the other at the end of the passage."

"That is incredible, Mrs. Slattery."

"Oh, please stop. It's Christine. I know there are probably regulations but I insist."

Kara and Azima both smiled at her. They both respected and enjoyed her. After picking out the needed items and a few things that were more for Mike then Christine they found a place that cut Christine's hair. The hairdresser had some shampoo that would fortify her thin hair and help it get healthy again. Kara had taken the time to get some make up for her that would be more for the vow renewal. Christine ended up looking like a totally different woman and a little more like the woman in the pictures in Mike's office. And she was regaining her confidence.

Tom and Mike got the necessary supplies for the crew and found the jewelry store that Kara had given the address to. Selection was small and not what Mike really wanted but he finally found the perfect ring and a wedding band to go with. It had a diamond in the center and on either side there were birthstones for each of their kids. A peridot for Hannah, and opal for Lizzie on one side and an amethyst for Lucas and a sapphire for Addy. It was like it was custom fit for Christine. The jeweler made a point to tell Mike that if they had any more kids, the stones could be added. The band was a simple silver one. As they were walking back to the Jeep, Tom started chuckling.

"What?"

"I love how he just assumed you would have more kids."

"Yeah, not quite sure what to make of that."

"Have you even talked about it?"

"No. Just if a pregnancy resulted from White raping her."

"And if…?"

"Well since they are trying to stimulate the population, she couldn't have an abortion. Not that she would have. She isn't sure how she feels about giving a baby up for adoption so…"

"How do you feel about it if she got pregnant?"

"I hope she didn't but if she did, I will raise the baby if that is what she wants. I will love the baby."

"It would be hard."

"Harder for Christine."

"Yeah. Impossible decision."

"Which is why I will support her. She'll need that if she has to make that decision."

"We'd better meet up with them. You gonna give her that ring now or wait?"

"The diamond? I don't know. I may wait. It'll make it more special."

"Yep, you're definitely going to need a babysitter for the kids that night."

"I agree but not sure how the girls will handle it. I won't traumatize them simply because I want to get laid. Christine won't either."

"You have such a way of putting things. It's a wonder you've stayed married this long."

"I'm honest. Christine has always loved that about me."

"If you say so. You ready to go to Addy's grave?"

"No. We need to go to that florist over there."

"I have no problem helping you pick out a ring for your wife but I draw the line at helping you with flowers for your daughter's grave."

"If it was Ashley, I would help you."

As much as Tom didn't want to, he walked into the florist shop with Mike. Mike had made a point and was obviously voicing that he needed support for the difficult task. He finally picked a bouquet of pale pink roses and a small concrete angel boy and girl. Mike handled it all himself and Tom merely stood back. He could tell by Mike's body language that it was tearing him up. They finally made their way out to the Jeep and Mike sit in the passenger seat not talking and Tom had no idea what to say. He and Kara were accompanying them to the cemetery but would not be going to grave. He was not looking forward to the after effect.

They met up with the women and Azima headed back to the Nathan James with Christine's purchases. Tom and Mike both immediately noticed the haircut and how much more confident Christine seemed. It made Mike feel good. As soon as she got in the Jeep, she noticed the flowers and the angels. She teared up but was glad that they had something to take.

"I wasn't ever able to take flowers to her grave. There is a small vase and these flowers will be perfect in it. And this angel can sit on the stand. It's perfect."

Kara and Tom both had to admire her strength. Even though she was sad and had teared up, she talked about the grave like she was talking about the weather. Kara looked out the window with tears falling down her cheeks and Tom had teared up but was trying to control himself since he was driving. They finally pulled up to the grave and Christine and Mike both got out. They walked up the hill and out of view hand in hand.

Mike and Christine finally reached the grave and he immediately sunk to his knees beside it. Christine knelt next to him and cleaned the loose grass and leaves off the stone. Mike had brushed his hands over the stone and was sobbing into Christine's shoulder. She held him and just let him cry.

"Oh, baby girl. I am so, so, sorry. You deserved to grow up and to go to college and get married and have babies, not this."

"Mike, it's not your fault and Addy wouldn't want you to blame yourself. Just let it out."

"But why did she have to die too? Lucas is bad enough, but why her too?"

"I don't know, Mike. I wish I did. Why is the easiest thing in the world to ask, and you may never get an answer. By the time you do, why won't matter anymore. Because you'll be able to hold them both in Heaven."

"I want to hold them now."

"Me too. But we can't. What we can do is hold Hannah and Lizzie and each other."

"Is this normal?"

"You hurting like this?"

"Yes. It hurts so bad. I just want my babies back."

"I know. Me too."

"But, Chrissy, you are so at peace?"

"It took time. And I know I'll have more bad days. You may have accepted it and gone through the grieving process before but you know for sure now. "

"I just…hurt so bad. Getting shot, stabbed and beaten has nothing on this."

"It's a different type of pain. I don't particularly want you to get shot, stabbed or beaten again to prove the point though. Promise you won't."

"I don't plan on it again. I know Tom and Kara are waiting on us but I am not ready to leave here yet. Just not sure why."

"Do you want some time to yourself?"

"I hate to ask that…"

"It's okay. Help me get these flowers and this statute on here and I will go back to the Jeep. If you take too long though, I'm sending Tom in."

He nodded at her and they began arranging the flowers and the little statute. She bent over and kissed the stone and then kissed Mike's cheek and gave him another hug. He was still sitting next to the grave and she was worried sick about him. Leaving him was not necessarily a good idea but she understood the need. She'd been there plenty of times by herself. Christine finally got up and walked towards the Jeep. She looked back at him and he was still sitting next to the grave but had both hands on the headstone. She could hear him sobbing and desperately wanted to go back but it wasn't what he needed or wanted at the moment.

Mike had never felt worse. He may have accepted Lucas and Addy being gone but the reality was agonizing. He knew he should appreciate what he had; Christine, Hannah, Lizzie but he also wanted Addy and Lucas back. He had agreed to have Christine leave so she didn't have to see him like this. She needed him to be strong. He knew they would revisit the grave but it still seemed final. He looked around to make sure no one was around and just started talking. He didn't want anyone to think he'd lost his mind.

"Addy and Lucas, you two were both so amazing. My oldest and youngest. I couldn't have asked for a better son and daughter. From the moment you were born, Addy, being a dad was my favorite role. I was thrilled with what time I had with you two. I just wish it had been longer and I wasn't sitting next to your grave. As bad as I feel and as much as I miss you two, if I had known how it would turn out, I would have still loved being your dad. The only thing I would have done differently was be home more. I can't go back in time as badly as I'd like. But I can be home more for your mom, Hannah and Lizzie. Be a better father for Hannah and Lizzie. That is the one thing I can give you both. And I truly think, it's what you would want me to do. I'd better go back to your mom before she sends in the cavalry. I do want you two to know I love you both, I will always miss you and I will never forget you two. And I am not mad at you for dying. Until I see you again."

Mike leaned over and kissed the stone the same way Christine had and ran his hand over both names on the stone. Standing up and walking away was incredibly difficult. He knew they would visit the grave again. He felt like he was abandoning them all over again. As badly as he was hurting, all he could think about was getting back to Christine and his girls. He wanted to hold onto them and not let them go ever again.

Christine waited patiently at the Jeep with Tom and Kara. She wasn't sure how much time was proper for Mike to do whatever he needed to do. Tom was antsy and wanted to get him but it didn't feel right. Mike needed to work through his emotions on his own. When he was ready for support he would reach out. She was glad when she saw him finally top the hill. She could tell that he was in a lot of pain but also seemed a bit lighter by how he was carrying himself. She met him halfway up the hill and hugged him tightly. He leaned into her like he needed her strength.

"Let's get back to the girls." Mike had pulled away slightly but still had his arms around her.

"Best idea I've heard all day."

They kissed and headed back to the Jeep, hand in hand. Tom and Kara choose not to say anything but Tom did squeeze Mike's shoulder as he walked by. The trip back to the dock was silent. No one was in the mood to talk. Mike did the necessary report to get back onboard the Nathan James and once on board, he asked Tom to take Christine back to the stateroom. He wanted to go to the bridge and give the order to get underway.

Christine walked back into the stateroom and started showing the girls her purchases with the exception of the items that was only for Mike to see. She wasn't sure when that would happen but was getting sort of excited for it. The girls were thrilled with all the items. They looked through the school books and home decorating magazines and Lizzie especially was excited about the new clothes. She was a typical teenager. Clothes, make-up, hair accessories excited her. Hannah just loved the new books. She had asked for Mike as soon as Christine walked in and as Alicia was leaving. Alicia promised her that she would give the message that she was looking for him.

"Girls, when your dad gets back make sure and give him a big hug. He's had a rough day."

"Did he get hurt again, Mommy?"

"No, sweetie. I took him to see Addy's grave. He's really missing her and Lucas."

"Oh, he's sad."

"Very much so." Lizzie seemed a bit nervous but had nodded her head. She had told Christine once that her mother had never given her a hug. Being part of a family where hugs were a normal part of the day had to be a bit hard to get used to. Hannah had gone in to go to the bathroom and Christine put her arms around Lizzie.

"You don't have to give him a hug. But don't be surprised if he doesn't ask for one. He will never hurt you. You have nothing to worry about where he's concerned."

"Okay."

Hannah had come back in and so Christine cut the conversation back because Mike was due back. They looked through the magazines and talked about the new decorating ideas. Since Christine wanted to forego a formal dining area, Lizzie had found an idea of a kitchen banquette attached to the kitchen island. Christine took a piece of the paper and drew exactly what she wanted so Mike could build it. It would be perfect for them.

Mike finally made his way back to the stateroom. They would be underway in the evening hours and he checked engineering to make sure that they had made some necessary repairs and to the medical bay for Doc Rios to check incision and to get some medicine for the girls and Christine for sea sickness. He wanted them dosed up before it even started. None of them had any weight to lose.

When Mike opened the door to his stateroom, he was not all that surprised that Hannah ran to give him a hug but what shocked him was Lizzie giving him a hug. He kissed both of them on the top of the head and wrapped either arm around them both. Christine had stayed sitting on the couch but was smiling at them all.

"I have some medicine for you all for sea sickness. We will leave this evening so you might get sea sick. Medicine might make you sleepy. Just don't want you to get sick. None of you have any weight to lose."

The girls and Christine took their medication and had trouble keeping their eyes open for supper. Mike had wanted to take them to the ward room to eat so the girls, especially Lizzie, could get a bit more used to the crew but ended up calling Bacon to bring something light for supper to his quarters. He was exhausted too and would need to resume his duties the next day. It would be an early night for them all.

After supper, he kissed them all goodnight because he suspected that they would be asleep when he got back. He took the dinner tray back to the galley and did a walk through. It took him a little longer at bridge then he thought it would and it was well after midnight when he made his way back to his stateroom. Both girls were sound asleep on the two couches. Mike covered them both back up and kissed them on the forehead. Christine was also sound asleep and so he changed into a pair of pajama pants and climbed in next to her. She turned and wrapped herself around him. He was emotional and physically exhausted and fell asleep quickly.


	13. Chapter 13

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 13

Their days become very routine. Christine would teach Sam, Ashley, Hannah and Lizzie during the day while Mike was working. "School" went until two pm every day and as soon as Tom came and got his two kids, the girls would pass out. They were exhausted. Lizzie and Hannah had both gained weight and their coughs were getting steadily better. Christine, however could not seem to gain any weight and had lost two pounds which was concerning to both Mike and Rios. Rios had Bacon send snacks at ten and two and before bed but Christine didn't seem to gain any. She had plenty of energy but she would often take an afternoon nap with the girls. Mike was terrified. Rios had pulled more labs but he was limited in what he could do. Once they got to St. Louis, Christine would be going to a regular doctor who could test more than Rios could.

The crew had quietly pulled together the party for Mike and Christine. It had helped morale quite a bit. Mike helped with the preparations as he could. Andrea Garnett had emailed him that she had found the perfect house and farm for them. It looked exactly like the girl's drawings. A big rambling farm house, land, a stocked pond. There was a dark purple bedroom; a pepto bismal pink room with a huge window seat, the master bedroom had a dark blue accent wall with the other walls being beige. The master bathroom had the requested two sinks, a massive walk in shower and big bathtub. There was a forth bedroom that the realtor was insistent would be a good nursery. There was also a shop that Mike could use for his furniture making. Andrea helped expedite the purchase and had promised Mike it would be ready to move into when they got to St. Louis. He would have to still build some furniture but it would be livable. He was thrilled to have a home for the girls to spend Christmas in.

Their anniversary dawned. They were off the coast of Florida and the weather was beautiful. The whole ship was buzzing with excitement. Mike had taken the day off. He had clued the girls in the night before and they were both thrilled to help with the preparations. Mike laid on his side watching Christine sleep and finally kissed her awake.

"Morning, beautiful. I love you."

"You're losing your sight. I love you too." They exchanged a kiss and she started to get up but he pulled her back to the bed and leaned over to the nightstand to get the diamond ring.

"I have a wedding band too for you but I will put that on later. I saw this ring and it just seemed perfect." He slipped Kara's ring off her finger and put it back in the box to be given to her later and slipped the diamond ring on in its place. She inhaled deeply and had tears in her eyes.

"Oh, Mike, it's beautiful. The kid's birthstones?"

"Yeah. It was like it was custom made. And it fits perfectly. The crew has pulled a bit of a party for us today. It's a vow renewal. Master Chief is doing that. Kara has a dress, shoes, the whole bit. There's food and wine. Kara says if the kids are comfortable with it and we are okay with being away from them, they'll have a slumber party in her quarters tonight so you and I can have some time to ourselves. If you want it?"

"I absolutely do. Just as long as they're comfortable. This is all amazing, did you do all of it?"

"Once they told me, I helped but it was all Tom and Kara. His idea and she ran with it."

"That's unreal. Overwhelming. Even the vow renewal?"

"Yeah, Tom's idea but I agree with it wholeheartedly. Not that I feel we need to renew them but the idea is nice."

"It is. You want private time despite everything? Health issues too?"

"Yeah. I do. But only if you do. I don't want to pressure you in anyway."

"You aren't. But if he passed something to me, the last thing in the world I want is for you to get it too."

"Doc had condoms that he threw in my bag of bandages. I hadn't told you because I wanted it to be more special than just because we could. You deserve better than that. Plus, I was worried about the weight loss. That is still concerning."

"I gained a pound."

"When did that happen?"

"When I weighed yesterday. Doc still wants me to have a thorough lab work up but thinks it's stress related."

"Well I don't want to add any more stress?"

"You aren't. You have no idea how much this all means. That you would want to renew our vows. I was honestly beginning to wonder if you just file for divorce as soon as we got to St. Louis."

"Not a chance. Until death do us part. Was that the stress?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I am just ready to be settled. How long will we be in temporary housing? Not that I'm complaining. Anything is okay as long as it's with you and the girls."

"Well, I should have probably given you a heads up before I signed anything but I really wanted it to be a surprise for you and the girls. Andrea found a farm. Purchase is already through and I've seen pictures. It's like it was custom built just for us. Andrea is going to make sure it has necessary furniture so it's livable when we get to St. Louis but I will still have to build some. The girl's bedrooms are even painted perfectly. Four bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms, huge kitchen open to the family room and dining area. May take some remodeling. There is an office that you can use to homeschool the girls in until they are ready for school. Laundry room next to the kitchen, huge pantry and storage room, garage attached. It's perfect. Hope you don't mind that I bought it?"

"So we will be moved in by Christmas?"

"Yep. That was the plan."

"It sounds perfect and no, I don't mind. Did you get a shop and fishing pond?"

"Yeah, I did. Has a good area to have a garden. No animals yet but that can happen in the spring."

"It sounds amazing. Let's keep it as a surprise from the girls?"

"Yeah. Sorry I jumped the gun."

"I'm glad you did. Wow, Mike."

"It was like the ring. Like it was custom made just for us. Kind of fateful."

"I wish I had something to give you."

"You being here, alive, gaining is enough for me. I do want you to make the house our own. Despite it being so perfect, it may be slightly generic."

Christine nodded and leaned over to kiss Mike. Things had heated up quickly and he had pulled her on top of him. His hand was working its way up under her shirt when Hannah called for her. She groaned and sit up.

"How far is that master bedroom from the other bedrooms?"

"Other side of the house. There is a small room next to it that the realtor was insistent would make a good baby room but the girl's rooms are on the other side."

"Good."

"Thought you liked the coziness?"

"The novelty has worn out. I'd better go check on Hannah, are you taking a cold shower?"

"I'd rather not but I guess it's my option."

"Well, I don't think you want to explain what's going on under that blanket to your ten year old."

"That's a definite. I am worried that she'll think I'm making you 'work.'"

"Hopefully she won't figure it out. I am glad I still have that effect on you. I'd better go to her and give you a bit of a head start." She leaned down, kissed him and patted the blanket which only caused him to groan. Hannah had called for her again and had knocked on the door. Christine grinned back at him and headed into the living area, shutting the door behind her.

The party was set at two. Mike worked a couple hours so that Christine and the girls could get ready. They hadn't gotten him a suit and he opted to just wear his dress whites. While he was working, Christine mentioned to the girls that Kara had offered to have a slumber party in her quarters. She thought the girls would be against it but the Hannah's response was hilarious.

"We've wanted a slumber party as Miss Kara's. We're big girls, Mommy. Lizzy and I will be fine and we'll have fun!"

Lizzy was nodding in agreement and Christine had to laugh at them. Hannah was completely innocent to everything but Lizzie had a better understanding of why Kara was almost insistent that the girls stayed with her that night but she didn't seem bothered by the idea. It was almost like it was a perfectly natural thing for them. She had gotten the girls some dressier clothes and they put them on and Kara, Azima and Alicia showed up to help her get ready. Alicia grabbed Mike's dress whites and shoes out of the closet and took them to him so he didn't show back up before the party.

The dress they had picked for her was beautiful and perfectly suited to her. It was simple but elegant and actually didn't make her seem so thin. Kara had curled her hair and put baby's breath in it. Her make-up covered up how pale she was and made her look like the pictures that were sitting around from before the pandemic.

Kara and Alicia took the girls to their room with a bag so they wouldn't even be coming back that night. Kara had promised Christine that she would bring the girls back if there were any issues but told Christine they would be fine and to not worry. The girls were ecstatic for the party and for their slumber party. At ten til two, Tom showed up to escort her topside. He was wearing dress whites but looked fairly uncomfortable.

"Are you uncomfortable because of the whites or some other reason?"

"The whites. When I retired, I swore I would never have to wear these again and yet here I am."

"Thanks for your sacrifice. Sasha will appreciate it."

"Sasha and I aren't…" Christine turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

"Okay, maybe at some point. Besides, you are supposed to only be looking at Mike. How would you know that Sasha will appreciate me wearing the whites?"

"Because any woman from eighteen to eighty notices a man in his dress uniform. I just happen to really notice my husband wearing his. Trust me, I prefer him wearing his to you."

"Gee, thanks."

"I do appreciate you setting all this up. It's kind of a surprise considering how you felt at the dock where I was concerned."

"That was a huge misstep on my part. My first impression was wrong but even besides that, it was up to Mike to judge and between you and him. Not me."

"I appreciate you being protective of him. He's had a rough couple years."

"Compared to yours, it's been easy. But, yeah, it's been hard."

"It's apples and oranges."

"You thought he was dead too."

"Yeah. Thinking he was dead was better than the alternative."

"I'm confused."

"I imagined that he had moved on with someone else. I wouldn't have blamed him."

"I haven't been around the last almost two years but Mike never looked elsewhere. He was only interested in you."

"I remember years ago he told me that if something happened to him, he wanted me to move on. To be happy again. I would want the same for him."

"But neither of you died? I always told Darian that too but I never imagined that I would outlive her. I think that is what I've struggled with. It feels wrong."

"But you care for Sasha?"

"It's complicated but yes."

"She doesn't feel the same?"

"I abandoned her when I retired. She's working through that."

"Give her time. You hurt her. You can't expect it to get better overnight. Are we there yet?"

"You remind me of Sam but yes, we are almost. Let me go ahead and make sure everyone is ready."

"If you only knew how hard it is to walk in this get up."

"You look beautiful. Mike's a lucky guy." Christine was surprised by Tom's sentiment. She gave him a hug and he headed out to the deck. She was nervous. Not as much as she had been eighteen years before but still nervous. She remembered being almost sick that day from nerves. It had been the one of the best days of her life, only trumped by the days the kids were born. Tom finally came back and offered her his arm.

"You're giving me away?"

"I guess so. Didn't plan it that way but here I am."

"I appreciate it. Let's go."

The ceremony and after party was beautiful. Christine wasn't sure how Bacon had pulled off the amount and quality of food. Mike had told her while they were dancing that the party had a dual purpose of helping with the crew's morale and they seemed to be having a blast. The girls were enjoying the fresh, warm air. Lizzie was slightly nervous around the crew and stayed fairly close to Mike or Christine. She visited with several of the crew, ones that she hadn't really interacted with before. She was impressed. She had always distanced herself from the Navy. She had robbed herself. Aside from Tom, she had made a point to not associate. Darian had been more outgoing and had organized parties for the officers and enlisted alike. Christine had gone along out of duty but would hole herself up managing the food. With Mike shifting to shore duty, he wouldn't have a crew per se but many of the crew was holdovers from the trip to the Arctic and they seemed bonded to Mike and Tom. There would be reunions that would need to be organized and that was something she could do.

Mike made sure the crew were all enjoying themselves. It had been a hellish deployment and they needed the pick me up that the party was giving them. Meylan and Russ had worked out a schedule that allowed the entire crew to stop into the party as some point. There was a lot of laughter, joking, singing and dancing. Both girls were slightly nervous, Lizzy, more so. Hannah was more outgoing and talked to everyone. A few of the younger enlisted sailors tried flirting with Lizzie but she didn't seem to acknowledge it and after a warning look from either Mike or Russ, they left her alone. She did interact with Sasha, Kara, Alicia and Kat Nolan. She and Ashley had become good friends but she was closer in age to Kat.

The crowd dissipated and clean up was started. The crew that remained were all insistent that Mike and Christine not help. Hannah had begged Kara to let her take Snickers to her quarters so the girls, Mike, Christine and Kara made their way back to his quarters. Both Christine and he made it clear that if the girls got nervous to bring them back. Lizzie had made some positive steps forward and they didn't want to traumatize her. Christine and Mike both gave the girls hugs and kisses and thanked Kara profusely. Mike reiterated that she was to let him know if the girls needed anything and they left with the kitten. Mike made sure the door was locked and Christine had disappeared into the bathroom. She finally came out but was still wearing her dress.

"I need help with the buttons. Kara helped me into it and I just can't reach back." Mike laughed and started unbuttoning the tiny buttons and then unzipped the dress. He started kissing the back of her neck but she pulled away.

"Just hold off. I have something for you."

"Sounds interesting."

"You'll enjoy it. I hope."

"I'm sure I will." Mike turned the bed down, took his shoes off and put them away and removed the box of condoms from the nightstand and made sure they were easily accessible. He was taking off his uniform when Christine reappeared in a light blue nightgown. She was beautiful.


	14. Chapter 14

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 14

For the second time in twenty four hours, Mike watched Christine sleeping. She looked angelic. It had been an amazing night for both of them. They had definitely reestablished the physical intimacy that had been on the back burner since Norfolk. They had talked at length about most of her experiences since Addy had died and even before then. He had talked more in depth then he had ever talked about his experiences at Takehaya's camp and getting stabbed. How not being able to find her and the girls affected him and all the regrets that went along with it, especially concerning Addy's death. They both shed a lot of tears. But they also laughed, planned and dreamed. He showed her pictures of the house and property and she was just as excited as he was. He couldn't wait to see the looks on Hannah and Lizzie's faces when they saw it. Lizzie, especially would be interesting. Despite the fact that her bedroom was painted the perfect color, Christine wanted Lizzie to be able to decorate it herself.

Thankfully the girls didn't appear to have had any problems and as the night wore on, Mike was starting to miss them. He was half tempted to go get them but he didn't want to wake Christine up by getting out of bed and she would have to put some clothing on. He was not prepared to explain to Hannah why her mom didn't have clothes on. Mostly because he didn't want her to think Christine was "working." As if sensing his train of thought, Christine woke up and smiled at him.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Awhile, was just watching you sleep."

"That's boring. You could have woke me up."

"Didn't want to. So not quite your anniversary cruise? No thousand thread count sheets, five star dining or copious amounts of alcohol."

"Yet, I couldn't be happier."

"Me either. Seriously though, it's not what you deserve. Double bed? Kids in the next room?"

"Are they? I should get dressed. And so should you. The girls don't need to see this."

"It's just five. Kara hasn't brought them back."

"Oh, worried me. So what are we doing with the next two hours?"

"Two? How about three? Kara doesn't go back to CIC until eight."

"I figure as soon as the girls wake up, they'll want to come back here. So sevenish. Don't particularly want them to walk in with us dressed…or not dressed like this. Lizzie will see it as you making me 'work' and she'll never trust you because she will think you are the same as the clients. She won't understand that what we did was normal and healthy to our relationship."

"Do you think she will ever have a normal relationship?"

"Maybe. She needs to understand first that men don't all expect sex in return for basic needs. That it's a mutually beneficial part of a relationship for both parties. And even better when there is love involved. I don't have a lot to compare it to since you were my first and we were married and we are in love. Up until five months ago, I only knew what your likes and dislikes were, what you preferred and couldn't handle. But I can definitely say that sex with you is a thousand times better. Maybe it's because I know I am safe, or you know my preferences or that we're in love. I don't know but I do know that it will take Lizzie time and the right partner. Right now, she wants as far from it as she can get it and that is fine. She needs to heal. I've moved this quickly because I was ready and have the perfect partner. Had you walked away from me, I seriously doubt I would have ever had sex again."

"Don't know about all that but I would have not walked away. Having had prior relationships before you that didn't necessarily involve love, I can agree that sex is much better when love is involved. Protective dad comment here, but I am fine with it being a good long while before she finds that perfect partner. I hope you don't feel pressured to do this?"

"I don't."

"I would have been fine with whatever you decided. It's your body. I don't want you to think you have to have sex with me just to stay married."

"I know. I was ready. It's you and I know I'm safe and loved. You won't make me do something I am not comfortable with. And you know me, and know what I'm not comfortable with you doing."

"That makes me feel better. I didn't want you to feel pressured or to be scared. And I definitely love you."

"I love you too. You do have to work today though and I think you need some sleep. Once we get settled, there will be plenty of opportunities to further explore this but I think you over exerted yourself and I could use some more sleep before the girls get back. Thank you for such an amazing day and an even more amazing night. It was all perfect and I couldn't have asked for a better anniversary. You'll have trouble topping this one next year."

"I'll be working on it all year. And you are absolutely amazing. Want your pajamas? I'm putting my pajama pants on."

"Yeah. You cold?"

"No. But I know you probably are. And I'm planning on you sleeping on my chest. If we don't put some clothes on, it won't be sleep we'll be getting."

"Such a romantic. I am cold. Did I see a fireplace in that picture of the master bedroom?" They were both getting dressed and fixing the tangled up bedding.

"Yeah. Fireplace in family room, formal living room that you'll use as the homeschool room and the master bedroom."

"I know you said that you wanted me to make it my own and I am sure I will find things once we get there, but it looks perfect. Andrea said she would have the house set up but can she hold off on decorating the tree? I want the girls to do it, especially Lizzy." They were back on the bed and in each other's arms. He'd set the alarm and they were both getting sleepy.

"I'll email her. I'm sure it won't be an issue. I wonder if Lizzy has ever had a Christmas tree or presents?"

"I don't think so. She said she would always make sure her brother and sister had stuff but she seemed intrigued by the idea."

"I want you and Hannah to have a good Christmas but I really want her to have one. Just not sure how to make it happen."

"You're a great dad and husband. I think Lizzie will be thrilled with anything."

"I have a great wife. I want to go all out with the decorations and everything. Big dinner. I'll help in the kitchen. I want this to be a Christmas both girls will remember. It's not all about the presents. I think she'll remember the traditions and dinner long after she's forgot the presents."

"You help in the kitchen? No thank you. But I will have you helping with the decorations. I wish I had my recipe box."

"It's at my apartment."

"You kept it?"

"Yeah. I put everything in storage from the Norfolk house. Couldn't let things go. Pictures, your jewelry box, the recipes are at the apartment. Can you make those cheesy potatoes? And the rolls? That apple thing?"

"I will try. There is a famine going on."

"If I can get the ingredients?"

"Not sure you can? I want a ham."

"Okay. Cream corn, asparagus, and your mom's chocolate pie and…"

"All for one meal?"

"Oh no. That breakfast casserole you used to make and…"

"How do you stay in such good shape?"

"I haven't eaten well the last couple years. Gym was the only productive thing I could do aside from work."

"Well, I can't say I mind the end result."

"Get some weight on you and I'll be happy not that you aren't already beautiful. Just don't like that you are so thin. I hope I didn't hurt you in any way?"

"No. Not in the least. You'd better get to sleep. Your eyes are getting heavy."

"Good."

It didn't take long before he fell asleep. Christine checked the alarm and settled back into Mike's arms. She truly felt like the luckiest woman alive. Not just because of the sex, but in general. She had never felt safer or more loved. The biggest thing that she wished she could fix was the huge amount of guilt that Mike felt, especially concerning Addy's death. He had not had an easy time but had minimized everything he had gone through and would always feel a lot of pain and guilt where Addy was concerned. She just wished she could lessen it in some way. Addy would not want him to feel so guilty or hurt so bad.

Mike woke up before Christine did. He cleaned things up and showered. About ten til eight, Kara reappeared with the girls. They had already eaten breakfast and were talking a mile a minute. Christine was showering and he needed to get back to the bridge but decided to sit with the girls until she got done.

"Daddy, did you and Mommy have a good slumber party too?"

"Yeah. So what'd you girls do?"

"We painted our fingernails and toenails and did our makeup. Miss Kara had me wash my face before I come back because she said you would say that I am too young."

"You are."

"What about Lizzie?"

"Lizzie is older. While I don't think she needs make-up, she thinks she does and as long as it's not excessive, I am okay with her wearing it. I'll be the same when you get older."

"Where's Mommy?"

"Showering. You okay?"

"Yeah. Just miss Mommy."

"I'll go get her."

Mike got up and headed for the bathroom. The girls both got nervous when Christine wasn't around. He would love for them to depend on him like they did with her. Christine had finished her shower and was dressed.

"Hey, babe? Girls are back and looking for you. Everything okay?"

"More than."

"I'm curious?"

"I started my period which means…"

"You're not pregnant?"

"I'll still take a test but I think we're in the clear."

"Thank God. I would have helped you but I really didn't want you to go through that."

"I didn't want to go through it either. But…"

"What?"

"I'm not saying right now and it wouldn't be to replace Addy and Lucas but the idea of a baby…"

"I'm not opposed to it. But I want you completely healthy before we even start going down that road."

"Agreed. Not until we get settled. A baby would help me gain the weight back."

"It would but it would also be dangerous for you right now. I don't want you jeopardized."

"Remember when we were trying for Lucas? Every month I'd start my period and it would be heartbreaking. Then we stopped trying and stopped stressing. Easiest pregnancy and delivery too. Biggest baby."

"Remember finding out he was a boy?"

"Yeah, you were thrilled. It was hilarious how excited you were."

"I love my girls but having a boy was awesome."

"Maybe if we have another baby, it'll be a boy."

"Maybe. I'll be happy regardless. Boy or girl, it can't be to replace Addy or Lucas."

"There's no replacing them."

"I'd better get up to the bridge. You'll be okay?"

"Yeah. Is it wrong that I am so excited about not being pregnant right now?"

"No. Given the circumstances. If you need anything, call the bridge. I love you. And Chrissy?"

"Yeah?"

"Best anniversary yet and last night was amazing. Please promise me I didn't hurt or scare you?"

"No, Mike. It was exactly what I needed and wanted. It was you. And it'll be you. Forever. And yes, definitely our best anniversary. It was beyond amazing for me. I love you too." Mike bent down and kissed her and then gave her a hand up. They walked into the living area and as soon as Hannah saw Christine, she ran and gave her a hug.

"I missed you, Mommy. Do we have to have another slumber party away from you and Daddy?"

"Didn't you have fun?"

"Yeah. But I missed you."

"Ah, Hannah, I feel a little hurt, you didn't mention missing me? Have you got a hug for me? I have to go to bridge."

"Sorry, Daddy. I missed you too. But I'm used to you not being home. I think I'm gonna like you being there. I love you." Mike bent down and gave her a hug and kiss. It had kind of hurt when she said that she was used to him not being there. He couldn't undo the damage but he could do better in the future. Hannah deserved that.

"I love you too, baby girl. More than you'll ever know."

Hannah smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He released her, patted Lizzy's shoulder and kissed Christine again. Christine was pulling out school books and as he opened the door, Sam and Ashley came in. He smiled at them and shut the door behind them. He could hear Christine's voice instructing them. She was an amazing wife and loving mother but she had a gift for teaching.


	15. Chapter 15

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 15

Christine was teaching the kids the history of the area they were sailing through. Lizzie and Ashley were more advanced then Sam and Hannah but all four kids were excited to learn a more visual history. Tom escorted them to the deck so she could tell them about the cities they passed. They were taking their time due to fuel conservation and the fact that navigation was a little complicated. Mike was pretty well tied to the bridge, dealing with logistical issues. When they had sailed the James up the Mississippi two years before, there was a lot of damage on the keel and Mike wanted that avoided if possible. Meylan didn't understand the stress.

"So, what's the deal? You've barely left the bridge. Figured you would want to be with the wife and kids."

"I do. But since I'm handing over the keys to the ship, I don't want her damaged. My last command, I don't want to screw it up."

"You could make it work so you'd still have command."

"No. My time on the Nathan James or any ship is done. I'll miss it but I can't leave my girls again. Christine and Lizzie would understand it but if I have any hope of having a relationship with Hannah, I need to be home every night. As she gets older, she may not agree but I have to be there."

"No career advancement? The training facility is good but…"

"At one time, I would have balked at it but my daughter is more important. The Admiral's stars just don't have the allure that they used to. Teaching Lizzie to drive, tucking Hannah in and just being there for Christine is more important. I missed out with Addy and Lucas and had I prioritized better, Addy would have survived. So, the one thing I can do is be a better husband and father for the girls and Christine. That is what Addy would want; she wouldn't care about career advancement."

"I suppose I understand."

"I hope you never lose a child to find out for sure. It's hellish."

"I didn't know Addy but I don't think she would want you to suffer like this?"

"No, she wouldn't. She would be really aggravated with me."

"Well, maybe you should honor that." Meylan had gotten up and walked away. Russ walked up and handed Mike a cup of coffee.

"Sir, you're doing the right thing for yourself and your family. Addy might have gotten aggravated at you for blaming yourself but you are the father who is grieving for your son and daughter. You choose how you grieve for them. Only other person who has a say so is Christine. Just like you have a say in her grief process."

"She's at peace."

"She's had longer. The truth is, it's not peace so much, as its acceptance. And in many ways, she didn't get a chance to really grieve either because she was fighting to keep herself and her child alive. I think once you settle, you'll see her crumble somewhat. Probably not completely, but somewhat. She will feel safe."

"She's safe now?"

"Physically, yes. But emotionally is another story for both of you."

"And I thought it was getting better."

"Never gets better or easier. You get better at shouldering it. Or burying it. But it will come back for both of you. Their birthdays, Christmas, favorite holidays. Random days when you see a kid playing ball like Lucas should be or a girl that looks like Addy. Someone with the same name. It'll happen but you'll get through it."

"It's been many years since your wife and daughters died. It still happens?"

"Yeah. When Hannah gave me that hug that day in the helo bay, all I could think of was I wish I could hug my girls one more time. But I focused back in and hugged Hannah and then went on about my business."

"Sorry, I didn't realize her doing that hurt you like that. I would have stopped her."

"With respect, don't you dare, sir. Just because it hurt, didn't mean I didn't want that little girl's hug and it did help the hurt. Hannah is a precious little girl, but you already know that."

"She is. I am ready to be settled. Get her used to having me around."

"I understand it. In the long run, when it matters, being an Admiral or Captain won't matter to Hannah. All she will care about is her daddy." Russ walked away and Mike decided to find his family. The bridge had things well in hand and he could be found if they needed something. After giving orders, he went in search of his wife and kids. He could hear Christine's voice telling Lizzie and Ashley about a Civil War battle that had been fought close by. Tom was standing by and occupying Hannah and Sam. He pointed at Mike and Hannah headed for him. He heard Tom yell, "Don't run." Mike closed the distance so she wasn't tempted and picked her up.

"Hey, baby, having fun?"

"Yeah. I want to play basketball with Sam but Uncle Tom says no. Can we play when we get off this boat?"

"Ship and yes. You've gained some weight."

"Am I too heavy?"

"No. You still don't weigh enough."

"My shoes are getting too small. They hurt my toes. See, they are right on the edge." Mike felt her foot more to just appease her. Christine had told him the night before, that since Hannah was being fed so well, she believed she was about to hit a growth spurt.

"We'll get you a new pair."

"But shoes cost money?"

"They do. But Mom and I can afford to buy you a new pair of shoes. Especially with Christmas coming up."

"But I don't want Mommy to work…"

"Hannah, Mommy doesn't have to work. I work for the Navy. I can support all of us."

"Oh. But if you leave again?"

"I'm not. Let's go back in. Getting a bit cold for you. Chrissy, are you done?"

"I am. Sam and Ashley, I think we'll be in St. Louis tomorrow but it'll be awhile before your dad gets you into school so I can keep teaching you once we're all settled if you want to do that?"

Both kids nodded at her and gave her a big hug. Tom would be taking over Mike's apartment until he found something bigger. It was a two bedroom. Ashley would have some privacy and Tom and Sam would share a room. It wasn't ideal but it would work. Andrea had helped Mike out by outfitting the farmhouse with basic furniture, food, cooking utensils and other goods. She had told Mike that it was nothing special but he knew his family would think differently. They had maybe one more night on the Nathan James and they would be moved in. The stateroom had gotten pretty tight and cramped. As thrilled as he was to have his kids so close, he and Christine both needed some space and a locking bedroom door since keeping their hands off each other was a little more difficult than they thought it would be. It reminded him of when they were first married.

They ate dinner with the enlisted crew. It had become something of a tradition for Mike. The last night of the deployment, he spent with the enlisted crew. He loved it and Christine didn't seem to mind it. Hannah and Lizzie were both nervous and stayed between Mike and Christine the entire time. Hannah eventually came out of her shell and visited with a few of them. Lizzie more or less shrunk into Mike and they called it a night earlier than normal. She visibly relaxed once they got back to the stateroom. It made Mike wonder how she would handle school. She needed to be socialized. Mike and Christine got both girls settled in and Christine got ready for bed. Mike went back to the bridge to check on things. Alicia was OOD and gave him the report.

"We should be in St. Louis and docked by 9 am, sir. Commander Garnett also said to tell you that the house is ready. The seeds that Ms. Cooper relayed to the scientist last month are growing. The President has now declared this mission as successful and wants to meet with you in the morning."

"I wanted to get Chrissy and my girls to the farm."

"Understandable but it is the President."

"Alright, well if anything is needed, don't hesitate to call for me."

"Yes, sir. See you in the morning."

"See you. And Lieutenant? Thank you for everything you've done for Christine and my girls. You have no idea how much it meant."

Alicia nodded at him and he left for the night. He made a check of engineering and other departments before he went to his own stateroom. He was glad the seeds were growing. Sasha had relayed them to St. Louis and came back just before they got to Norfolk. The mission had been a success once the seeds were delivered. Both girls were sound asleep when he got back to the stateroom. He tucked the blankets around both of them and headed into the bedroom. Christine was still awake and reading.

"You didn't have to wait up, Chrissy."

"It's okay. I actually got into this book."

"Little House on the Prairie?"

"Yeah, did you know that the house that it was written in is only a couple hours from St. Louis? Little town called Mansfield. Maybe we can take the girls. It's a museum now. Still operational. I forgot how good these books are."

"I'll take your word for it. If it's not a gun or hunting magazine, I don't care to read it."

"You like history. So what's the time frame tomorrow?"

"We should be docked by nine. President wants to meet with me. I'd love to introduce you. Hopefully we will be done by mid-afternoon. I need to go by the apartment and pack things up there and then to the farm."

"Mike, I understand your reasoning, but I don't think me meeting the President is a good idea. How do you plan on explaining what I've done? I am ready for a quiet life on our farm raising our kids. The people that know about my past don't care. I will only serve to slow or destroy your career."

"The President understands and he may insist. As far as my career is concerned, you are more than worth it. And I've said it, but it's not what you've done, but what has been done to you. You were taken advantage of and raped. It makes you a victim of a horrific circumstance. If someone wants to judge that, then they need to reevaluate."

"Mike, I was a prostitute, a slut, a whore. Whatever it's called. Granted, I did it to medicate and feed my child and another girl but I made the choice. I thank God that you can live with that choice but I refuse to allow it to ruin your career. It's better if I just fade into the background. I will support you and love you but I am not the wife that you want on your arm at fancy dinners. I'll be at home with the girls and I will be perfectly happy there. I just want you to be happy too."

"I will be happy. But you are none of those things. What you are is an amazing wife and mother, a great friend, and a gifted teacher. There are a lot of other ways to describe you, but a prostitute, slut or whore is not one of them. Selfless, kind, loving, faithful, loyal, inspirational, graceful, friendly, and about a thousand other things. Definitely too good for me."

Christine just shook her head and kissed Mike. He'd wrapped his arms around her and she burrowed into his chest. The bedroom door was partially opened. The girls had both had a rough day and they didn't want them to feel they couldn't reach out if they needed something. Christine and Mike both fell asleep. A little after one, Hannah woke Mike up, wanting to get in bed with them.

"Daddy, my arms and legs hurt. Can I stay in here?"

"Yeah. You feel okay otherwise?" Mike helped her into the bed and she wrapped herself around him. Christine had woke up and was feeling Hannah's forehead.

"Yeah."

"Mike, it's probably growing pains. Remember Addy getting them when she was Hannah's age? Once we get settled, I'll find some heating pads. That helped Addy."

"Daddy is all warm. It feels good."

"Okay, but I do want her to be examined by a proper doctor and have bloodwork and everything. More so then what Doc Rios can do."

"I think it's a good idea for both girls."

"Yeah, Hannah, are you getting sleepy?"

The little girl nodded up at Mike but had burrowed into him and was drifting away. Christine wrapped the extra blanket around her and then wrapped both of them up in her arms. Christine and Hannah both fell asleep quickly but Mike stayed awake. He rubbed his hand over Hannah's arm, hoping to ease some of the pain. He could hear Lizzie's soft snores and Christine's even breathing. He way beyond ready to dock and get his girls settled.


	16. Chapter 16

**Really long chapter! Just couldn't find a good stopping point. Please enjoy and review. The reviews are very much appreciated.**

 **A Mother's Love**

Chapter 16

"President Oliver, I appreciate your understanding where my wife and daughters are concerned. But Christine and Lizzie both don't like talking about what happened to them. In Christine's case, she made the decision to feed and medicate our daughter. Where Lizzie is concerned, she didn't have anyone to help her. They were both taken advantage of and raped but they feel they made that choice and it will damage my career if they don't fade into the background."

"I hate that things like that happen within American cities. I don't pass a judgement. As far as your career is concerned, I would like to assure them that you'll be fine."

"I'll talk to them. Lizzie doesn't handle new people well so she may refuse to talk. I won't force her."

"Thank you."

Mike left the wardroom and headed towards his stateroom. He hated to ask Christine to rehash everything that had happened to her, especially to a stranger. Lizzie would not go along with it at all. Tom had stayed with President Oliver to more or less entertain him. When Mike walked into the stateroom, Christine and both girls were packing things up and he drew Christine aside.

"Chrissy, President Oliver is insistent that he meet you. I've told him Lizzie maybe resistant and I won't force it with either of you."

"Does he know?"

"Yeah. I've told him so you didn't have to rehash everything. He had read some of it in the reports concerning us taking you, Lizzie and Hannah in and my getting shot. I don't know why he wants to meet you but he is adamant that my career will not be affected."

"I guess it wouldn't hurt. He doesn't expect Lizzie to talk about it does he?"

"No. I told him I didn't know her story other than she had been taken advantage of, has no family and had to deal with the rougher clients. He also knows that White wanted Hannah once she got older and more developed. He is ashamed that it was happening in any American city. I think that is partly why he wants to meet you and Lizzie."

"Alright. As long as we don't have to talk about and you'll be there?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'll explain it to Lizzie." He kissed Christine and she went back to her packing in the bedroom. Hannah followed her in. She was walking fairly stiffly. Lizzie was packing school supplies up and was sitting on the couch. Mike sit down next to her and handed her a book. She was still not sure of herself where he was concerned and he was careful.

"Lizzie, I don't know if you heard me telling Christine or not, but the President is onboard. He has heard what happened to you and her and wants to speak with you guys. I told him you didn't want to talk about it and you may refuse to see him. He won't hurt you and I will be there. Christine will be too. Nothing will happen and you don't have to go talk to him."

"The President of the United States?"

"Yeah. He's just a normal man though. He's understanding of what you've been through."

"So he could stop someone from having to do what I did for food? He has the power to make that happen? Or not happen, rather? If he can stop that from happening to someone else, I'll talk to him. You will be there, though?"

"Yeah. I will be there the entire time."

"Let's go."

Mike was shocked. She was even more willing than Christine and was showing tremendous strength. In a lot of ways, her experience was worse than Christine's had been. Christine was able to have a normal, healthy relationship but Lizzie would judge all her relationships by what had happened to her. Mike went and got Christine and Hannah and explained to Christine that Lizzie wanted to go. Mike had a feeling that he would be hearing things that he didn't want to and was going to ask Tom to watch Hannah for a while. She didn't need to hear it. They made their way back to the wardroom and Mike got Christine, Hannah and Lizzie settled. The President was taking a call and would be back soon. Bacon had brought coffee for Christine and him, and juice for the girls.

President Oliver made his way in and greeted Christine and the girls warmly. He talked for a couple minutes with Hannah and let Christine know that in no way was Mike's career in danger. Christine didn't particularly want to hear Lizzie's story again and asked Tom to take her and Hannah back to the stateroom. Mike could tell that the President's reassurances had made her feel better. Mike occupied Hannah while Christine spoke quietly to Lizzie.

"Sweetie, I am going to take Hannah back to the stateroom. I know you are going to tell your story because you think it might be able to help someone. I am so proud of you. Mike will be here with you the entire time. You choose what you tell, okay? If it hurts too much and you don't want to talk, don't."

"He can help people more than I can. There are other girls like me. A lot. I can help them by telling him what happened to me. I can't do anything else but that. It wouldn't be right not to do this."

"Well, I am sure proud of you. Mike is too. Lean on him. He can handle it. I know you don't know him well and maybe you're still a bit scared of him but he won't hurt you and he loves you."

"You and him have done more for me than anyone ever has. I need to stop being scared so much."

Christine smiled at her and as she stood up, gave her a kiss on the forehead. Lizzie was a strong young woman and was making a very positive step forward. Tom stood to escort Hannah and Christine back to the stateroom and Lizzie scooted next to Mike. It was purely a protective move and Christine understood it. Bacon came in to fill up the tray of cookies, coffee cups and Lizzie's juice. He was aware of what was going on and didn't particularly want to hear it either. He backed out of the room and left Mike, President Oliver and Lizzie in the room. Mike put his arm over the back of Lizzie's chair indicating his support and nodded at her.

"I didn't know anything about my real dad. My mom never talked about him and my brother and sister had different dads. She made me take care of Molly and Peter. She didn't work because there was never any money. We would live in an apartment for a month or two and then move because she hadn't paid rent. She was never home and got arrested a couple times. When the flu hit, Molly got sick and died, then Peter. I took care of them and don't know why I didn't get sick. My mom didn't like being a mom but she was mad at me for dying. She said it meant that she wouldn't get as big of a check. She took me to Mr. White. Didn't want to deal me anymore, I guess. He gave her a hit of cocaine and a fifth of whiskey and she left me. I heard later that she died too. I was only thirteen and hadn't had a boyfriend or anything. I'd been busy with my brother and sister. Anyway, at the time, I didn't understand any of it but I know now. He made me have sex with him. He didn't like me as well because I am, I guess, smaller? But there are men who like girls my age. There was one guy, the one that my dad killed at the dock? He liked me to wear this stupid pink dress. He was gross and really mean. He made me do all sorts of stuff and told me if I didn't, he'd kill me. At the time, I thought it would be better. Then my mom and Hannah came along. They helped me a lot. When my clients were really mean, she would get me a heating pad. It hurt a lot. Anyway, when they went to meet the Nathan James and didn't come back, Mr. White called me to his apartment because he wanted to know where they were. He didn't care so much about Christine, but he wanted Hannah. There are lots of men who like young girls and he wanted to better service them. She is too young but as soon as she started her period and started developing, he was going to turn her out like he had with me. When I told him I didn't know, he made me have sex with him and beat me. You see these bruises on my wrists? He tied my wrists to the headboard and it hurt really bad, what he did. I had just got back to the apartment when Commander Green and Ms. Cooper came. I was going to leave there anyway, and so when my dad offered to let me go with them, I agreed. Anything had to be better. The rest you know. I can't help those girls like me, but you can. There are a lot of them out there and a lot of men like Mr. White. You can make it better. The cops can only do so much. But you can do more. That's why I told you all this."

President Oliver and Mike both felt like they wanted to be sick. Lizzie had been so strong the entire time and was still sitting with her head held high. Mike was immensely proud of her. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed the side of her head. President Oliver had a shocked look on his face. The story was horrible but Lizzie was right. There were more girls like her out there and unfortunately more men like White. Lizzie had relaxed into Mike but was still holding her head high. It had been a turning point for her and Mike knew it. He was thrilled to hear her call him "dad" and loved hearing her calling Christine "mom."

"Young lady, I promise I will be opening up an investigation into these situations. I will do my best to make it better. I admire your strength and integrity. Enjoy your recovery. I can't wait to watch you overcome all this. Captain, a word?"

Mike nodded at him and fortunately Bacon came in just then. He agreed to escort Lizzie back to the stateroom. Lizzie seemed much more confident and didn't shrink back when Bacon walked in. She never hesitated walking behind him.

"Captain, I appreciate you convincing Lizzie to talk. As much as I hate what she went through, I think I needed to hear that."

"I didn't do any convincing. That was all her. Christine and I both told her she didn't have to."

"In any case, I understand you are transferring to shore duty? I also have read your file and know your background in law enforcement. I would like for you to head up the investigation into this. I will ensure you are home every night and you will have an active role in helping girls like Lizzie and women like your wife. It is definitely away from your duties from the Navy and I wish I could tell you it will be easy. I have a feeling there will be stories even more horrific than Lizzie's or your wife's. I know you've arranged for some time off and I do want you to talk to your wife and daughters about it. Given that it's their story that's driving this, they have some say so."

"Yes, sir." Mike stood up and saluted him. He wasn't quite sure what to make of the offer. It did seem appealing. He had loved being a cop. The President left and Mike made his way back to the stateroom. Christine and the girls were hard at work getting things packed up and he needed to deal with the office area. Christine had removed the pictures and personal knick-knacks but he needed to take care of a few other things. Hannah ran up and gave him a massive hug as soon as he walked in the door. Lizzie still looked more upbeat than he had seen her and it made him happy. Mike kissed the top of her head and she gave him a small smile. The girls had gone into the bathroom to pack everything up in there while Christine helped Mike with the office.

"So Lizzie did good?"

"Yeah. She is so strong. The President offered me a different job, will be in addition to my duties where the Navy is concerned. I don't know all the details because I didn't say yes. He wants me to head up an investigation into situations like yours and Lizzie's. I guess he thinks because of you two, I have a vested interest. Says I'll be home every night."

"Mike, I just want you to be happy. You loved being a cop. I don't think you'll be completely happy at the training facility so if helping with that investigation helps with it, then you should do it. And I definitely want you home every night. That is my one condition."

"I love you."

"Love you too. We need to get moving, get your apartment packed up and to the farm. I'm really excited about that. How long do you have off?"

"Until after the New Year's. You'll be sick of me."

"I doubt that. Remember your honey do list?"

"I'm glad my woodworking tools are still in storage."

"Saves time and expense. Speaking of which, financially speaking, how are we?"

"We'll be good. You and I will sit down with the finances at some point in the near future. I got the farm at a bargain basement price. Payment is only three hundred a month. My housing allowance more than pays it. There are some updates that probably need to be made but it's mostly remodeled. I think the updates are more fencing and such. You can hold off on going back to teaching as long as you'd like. And I am perfectly fine if you don't. I still want you to wait a year. Get healthy, get the girls adjusted."

"I think I am going to homeschool them both the rest of this school year and we will slowly reintegrate them into society. Next year, they can start formal school. As far as me teaching, I still want a baby. I know you want to wait until I have gotten healthier so maybe wait and see. If I get pregnant, I don't go back to teaching, at least not immediately because I will want to stay with the baby. I know Doc Rios said White didn't have anything nasty but still wants me tested at the three months, so after that, if I'm clean, you'll stop using preventative measures and we will just let nature take its course? If that's what you want?"

"Sounds good to me. Even after the three months, I want to be careful until you have gained the weight back. How much have you gained?"

"Since Norfolk? Eight pounds. Doc wanted me to take it slow."

"So you're what? Not even ninety pounds?"

"Eighty seven. I think once we get settled, I'll gain faster. I don't want to get pregnant until I'm at least a hundred pounds. With my other pregnancies, I've stressed about losing the weight. Now it will be welcome."

"Yeah. Maybe a regular doctor will have some kind of vitamin or something you can take to help."

"Help me get pregnant or gain weight?"

"Gain weight. I'll help you get pregnant."

"You're a mess. Let's get this done. Sooner we finish, the sooner we get the girls to the farm. I'm so excited to see their faces."

"Me too. And we need to buy Hannah a pair of shoes."

"I talked to Rios about the pains in her arms and legs. He agrees that they are growing pains but says that most doctors don't agree that kids have them. I remember having them and Addy had them. He is referring her to a pediatrician with a suggestion for blood work just to be safe. Since it's her only symptom and we know her feet are growing, it's a dead giveaway."

"I hope so. It scared me last night."

"I know. You become like a big heating pad for her. It was sweet."

"How's she doing now? Seems okay."

"She's feeling better but I think being settled will help."

"I'm sure. Okay, office area is done. Let's check the bedroom."

"I got all the clothes and all your knick-knacks. I don't remember you ever taking this much stuff."

"I had an apartment but it was never home. This ship become more of a home to me. So I accumulated a lot."

"Well, let's get this packed up. I'll check on the girls."

Mike quickly cleaned out his nightstand and all the stuff on the headboard and shelves. Packing the little wood box that held the iPod with the recording of Lucas' voice brought a rush of emotion and seeing the pictures of both Lucas and Addy always hurt. He knew Christine would want the pictures displayed at the farmhouse and hopefully he could disassociate from it. The girls had finished the bathroom and were waiting in the living area. Christine sit down next to him and ran a finger over a picture of Lucas and Addy.

"You okay?"

"Sort of. I know you want their pictures displayed at the farm, and they should be. But packing the pictures feels like I'm packing them away."

"We'll get them back out. Addy and Lucas aren't in these pictures or in that box. They're in our hearts. You can't pack that away. Do you still have those recordings that Lucas made for you?"

"Yeah, do you want to hear them?"

"Eventually. You know, when he was dying, the nurse played the recording of you reading to him. He died listening to your voice. She said she thought it comforted him."

"I'm glad that I could do that for him."

"We'd better get this stuff on the deck, which is not going to be fun."

"Won't be terrible."

Mike carried the biggest part of the boxes and one of the midshipmen carried the boxes to his waiting truck. Garnett had moved it to the dock for him. The girls and Christine handled the lighter stuff. It wasn't very long at all that Mike, Christine and the girls made their way to his apartment. Tom, Sam and Ashley were already there and Tom had texted Mike that he had packed up his belongings to expedite things. He also needed Christine's help in the kitchen. As they walked in, they could smell something burning as soon as they got to the door. Mike unlocked it and immediately headed for a window to clear the smoke out.

"Christine? Help me?" Tom looked completely flustered. Sam and Ashley were sitting on the couch looking sick. Hannah and Lizzie were both laughing at Tom. Christine made for the kitchen while Mike opened windows.

"What did you do?"

"I was trying to cook noodles and got distracted. I think this pan is ruined."

"Chrissy, I think I left some frozen pizzas in the freezer. Maybe that'll be better?"

"Please, Aunt Christine? Please, don't let Dad cook anything else?"  
"I won't, Sam. Mike, why don't you and Tom get stuff loaded up and I'll see that these kids have something to eat. Tom, at some point, why don't you come out to the house and I will try and give you a cooking lesson? Even Mike can manage noodles and frozen pizzas."

Lizzie jumped in to help Christine try and clean the pan but they both finally decided that the garbage was the best alternative for it. Within a half hour, Christine had two pizzas and some canned fruit sitting on the table. Sam and Ashley were both thrilled and Tom was slightly embarrassed. Mike hoped that Tom and Sasha got things straightened out, soon. At least Sasha could cook.

They had everything loaded up and got the girls settled into the truck. The farm was a half hour outside the city. The girls were still completely unaware of where they were going and Mike and Christine were keeping it a surprise. Garnett had texted Mike that the farm was ready for them and to enjoy. She apologized that she hadn't done more but Mike knew it would be amazing. At just after seven they pulled up the lane. There were white fences on either side and big oak trees behind them. The house would need to be sided and Mike noticed some downed fences that would need to be fixed, but otherwise it was perfect.

"What's this place, Daddy?" Mike had parked the truck and got Hannah out from the driver side back seat. He was still holding her in his arms.

"Girls, with some help, I was able to find and buy a farm. The bedrooms are close to how you wanted them painted. Lizzie, your room has a bed and dresser but Mom and I want you to decorate it how you want. The kitchen is pretty much how you described. I have to make some furniture so if you want different than what's there, we will make it happen. It's pretty basically furnished."

Lizzie nodded at him and Mike sit Hannah down on her own feet. They were on the porch and he found the key that Garnett had hidden. Both girls and Christine were practically shaking with excitement. As soon as they stepped in, Mike realized that Andrea Garnett had gone above and beyond. She had made it into a home. She had apparently raided his storage shed. He knew she had gotten some items out of his apartment but this was different. It was perfect.

"I thought Andrea was just moving basic stuff in? This is beautiful, Mike."

"I thought so too."

They made their way through the house. The formal living room or homeschool room was set up with a big table in the middle with bookshelves and a big white board. Christine would fix it how she wanted it. There was a small powder room on the first floor and a stairway upstairs along with a formal dining room. The kitchen, breakfast nook and family room were open to the second story. It was like the pictures that the girls had drawn. There was a catwalk for the second story and they could hear the girls talking about their rooms. The kitchen was fully equipped. The kitchen, breakfast nook and family room had huge two story windows that during the day showed off a beautiful view. Christine glanced at the garage and laundry room/storage room. Andrea had a Christmas tree set up in the family room but had left boxes of ornaments sitting next to it, including some from the house in Norfolk.

"Let's go look at the bedrooms? You said to make this my own but I think Andrea did a beautiful job."

Mike nodded at her. He was totally shocked. They climbed the stairs and headed for the girl's rooms. They were both sitting on Hannah's window seat and making plans. The room was pink with a double sized wrought iron headboard. It was very feminine but had everything Hannah had described wanting. Even the bedspread was perfect. As soon as she saw Mike, Hannah made a run for Mike; he picked her up, giving her a big hug. Snickers had been moved in using a cat carrier and was making herself at home on her little cat bed.

"So, I guess you like your room?"

"Yeah, Daddy! It's perfect. And Lizzie's is really pretty too."

Lizzie was nodding at him and Christine had an arm around her. They headed into the bedroom across the hallway. It was definitely also feminine but older. The walls were painted a deep purple color. There were lighter, lavender colored curtains on the windows and the prints on the walls were pictures of lavender. The bedspread was a lighter purple and there were accents of light green. It was perfect for a teen girl. The bed was also a double but with a solid white headboard and footboard. The other furniture was also white. Hannah had gone back into her own bedroom and Lizzie had tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What's wrong, sweetie? If something isn't how you like, we'll fix it." Mike put an arm around her and kissed the top of her head. Even though she was doing considerably better, he wanted to be careful.

"No, it's absolutely perfect. I've never had a bedroom of my own. Or one so pretty. This whole house is really pretty. How'd you do all this?"

"I actually didn't do anything but buy the house I thought would be perfect. A friend did all this."

"It's so pretty."

"I agree." Hannah had called Christine into her room and so Mike was heading toward the door. He was surprised when Lizzie caught his arm and pulled him into a hug. It was not something she had really done before and it made him really happy.

"Thank you, Dad." Mike felt like his heart was bursting and he had teared up. Not because of missing Addy or Lucas but because despite only knowing Lizzie for a couple weeks, he already loved her as much as he did Hannah. He finally drew back but put both hands on Lizzie's shoulders.

"You are such a special young lady and I am already thrilled to call you my daughter and so proud of you. What you did today, confronting your own demons to try and help other people, was amazing. Mom and I are working out the logistics but the President offered me a job to head up the investigation to help people like you and Mom. So, in some ways, you will still be helping them. You will be the reminder I need when I've dealt with something terrible, the reminder telling me that those girls can have a normal, healthy life. That's what I want for you. I love you so much, Lizzie."

"I love you, Dad."

Christine had come back in at the tail end of the conversation and saw the tears on both their faces. It made her cry and she pulled them both into a hug. Lizzie had called her "Mom" a couple different times and she knew that hearing her call Mike "Dad" was a huge emotional thing for Mike. Lizzie may have had a mother before but the woman had simply given birth to her, not been a mom. And she had never had a "dad" in her life. Mike would be fulfilling that very special role. They finally broke apart when Hannah came back in. Mike had bags and boxes to carry in and Christine wanted to make supper and decorate the Christmas tree.

After fixing a simple soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, they all decorated the tree. Mike had carried in their belongings and he would be spending the next day hanging pictures and starting on his lengthy honey do list. Christine was thrilled to have their old ornaments and they had a prominent spot of the tree. The girls strung popcorn and Mike lifted Hannah up to put the angel on the top. He had built a fire and Christine started to hang the stockings but stopped when she pulled Addy and Lucas' out. She laid them back in the box and shook her head at Mike.

"I can't get rid of those and besides, I need to make one for Lizzie. We'll hold off on stockings." Mike nodded at her and closed the box. She had made the stockings when the kids were babies. He understood it and he wasn't sure what to do with Addy and Lucas' stockings. It had been a huge tradition for them. They would let the kids clean their stockings out on Christmas Eve. Christine put gloves and ear muffs, lip balm, the kid's favorite candies and all sorts of things in them. Mike usually got Christine her favorite perfume, make up and whatever else she wouldn't buy for herself. She would put the aftershave she preferred he wore, heavy socks for his deployments and a handwritten note in his. He was hoping she would carry on that tradition.

Lizzie was thrilled to sleep in her own room and after hugging and kissing Christine and Mike goodnight; she went in and went right to sleep. Hannah took a little longer to settle. Christine finally got her to sleep and Mike had gone through and locked all the doors. Their bedroom was pretty basic and Christine would be redecorating it but it was definitely sufficient for their needs. As soon as Mike walked in, Christine pulled him into a hug.

"What's the hug for?"

"Thank you, this is amazing."

"This is all Andrea. I just bought it."

"Well, thank you for that. We need to have her for dinner or something." She had released Mike and they were getting settled into the bed. He shut his light off and pulled her onto his chest. As much as he had looked forward to privacy, he was exhausted and was perfectly happy just holding Christine. Her light got turned off and she burrowed into his chest.

"Agreed. I'm exhausted."

"Me too. I didn't lock that door. Hannah may end up with us. She doesn't handle new places well."

"That's fine. Lizzie was thrilled."

"She told me she had never had her own bed. The couch in your stateroom was a luxury. She had a twin sized bed at the apartment but she isn't counting it."

"I'm glad she's happy." Mike let out a big yawn and Christine smiled at him. They exchanged a kiss and Mike fell asleep. Christine took a little longer, listening to Mike's snores and drawing little designs in his chest hair. At some point he woke up enough to grasp her hand with his and drew her even closer. About the same time, Hannah came in with them. She was still hurting and Mike drew her as close. Christine found an electric blanket and covered her with it. Mike would be miserable but he didn't seem to care. Christine burrowed back in next to Mike and wrapped her arm around Hannah. As soon as the electric blanket had gone on, she had fallen asleep on Mike's chest. Despite being hot, Mike fell asleep as quickly as Christine did.


	17. Chapter 17

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 17

Rios was a miracle worker. He got both girls in for a pediatrician's appointment that next day. Fortunately it was a female doctor so Lizzie was at ease. She did a mountain of blood work on both girls and gave them both a thorough exam. She was an older doctor who agreed with Rios and Christine; she believed that Hannah was going through some growing pains. She pulled labs to be on the safe side but told Mike and Christine that the muscles were stretching, allowing their very small ten year old to grow. Her height and weight was that of a seven year old. It made Christine feel horrible. Like she should have done a better job, caring for her. The doctor assured her she did a fine job considering the shape that she was in. The doctor prescribed vitamins for both girls and suggested a colleague for Christine. The practice that she was in was a clinic for women and children and in nothing but a small miracle, the doctor had a cancellation that afternoon. Mike decided to take the girls shopping while Christine went through her examination. Rios had faxed over his reports and files on them and so she didn't have to go through another pelvic examination. Dr. Johnson examined the burns on her feet, behind her knees and underarms along with the almost healed marks on her breasts.

"You've been through hell. Most women that have been through what you have never have a normal sexual relationship."

"If it wasn't my husband, I wouldn't want to. Thankfully, he's accepting of all this."

"You're lucky. Most men wouldn't be. I can't give you an exact figure but a lot of women that are raped after being married or being in a serious relationship end up single. Not sure if it's them or their partners that can't handle it. Have you and your husband had sex since you got back together?" Normally Christine would have been put off by the doctor's directness but it was honestly refreshing.

"We have. He's used condoms in case I have contracted something."

"Good idea. I will want to retest you but Doc Rios stated that he thinks you'll be okay. Let me ask, since you were married beforehand, things normal in that area?"

"Yeah, they're good. Mike is a little more careful because he's worried about my health. The weight really worries him. But as far as the sex is concerned, I'm completely happy and he seems satisfied."

"Good. That is what matters. I'm going to give you a couple prescriptions. They'll help with the weight gain and beef up your immune system."

"Once we get the all clear on the blood work and I've gained more weight, we want to try for a baby. I know I'm older and it's more dangerous but we both want to try. When we had our son, we had some trouble conceiving him. We tried for about six months. We decided to quit stressing about it for about six months before we started IVF. Month two, I was pregnant. I'm assuming it won't be that easy?"

"You know all the dangers having a baby at your age could have. As far as conceiving, I would say the not stressing about it is a good idea. Let it be natural. You've had three pregnancies? How easy was it to get pregnant the other two times? How was the pregnancy and deliveries?"

"Addy was easy. Some morning sickness to begin with and the labor was long. We weren't even trying for Hannah and the pregnancy and labor was a little more difficult. You know on Lucas but the pregnancy with him was easiest and the labor was a cinch. Biggest baby too. What's all this telling you?"

"That as soon as you get the all clear, you should be fine. You know every pregnancy and delivery is different. Just because the pregnancy and all honesty the conception was easy with Lucas, doesn't mean it will be with the next baby. Just don't stress. Get some weight on and enjoy the time with your husband. Don't think of it as trying for a baby but just getting to know him again."

"You make it sound simple."

"It's not supposed to be difficult. Don't overthink it. You had a normal relationship beforehand?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, I'm getting a little personal but what was the frequency?"

"He's in the Navy so depending on deployments, three to four times a week."

"How long had you been married before the Red Flu?"

"Fourteen years"

"And now?"

"We just got moved into our house last night and the situation on the destroyer wasn't ideal. The first week or so, not at all. Our anniversary broke the ice and Mike and I renewed our vows. After that, probably five or six times since. It's been just over a week since our anniversary. Just been a little difficult on the destroyer and we ended up with Hannah in bed with us last night. She wasn't feeling well. Is it normal to be that active this soon after?"

"No, but it seems to be working for you. You have a partner that you are perfectly comfortable with and that is what matters. There isn't a time frame on this. Sounds like you're a lucky woman to me. So we recheck in two and a half months, make sure you are healthy enough for a pregnancy and won't pass anything to your husband or the baby. Eat what you want, take those vitamins and relax. Relaxing now will make the baby making easier later. As far as those burns and bite marks, they are all but healed. I suggest you use Vitamin E oil on them to stop them from scarring. Those marks on your breasts may scar anyway though. Skin is thin there. If you do have a baby, I will suggest you don't breastfeed. Not because of those scars but your body will have already taken enough of a hit with the pregnancy. Has your husband seen them?"

"Yeah, he doesn't seem to mind them. Has helped me medicate them."

"Okay. Well, I think you'll be okay. Call if there are any questions or concerns. I'll see you in a just over two months."

"I feel like I've had a therapy session too?"

"I have a secondary degree in psychology and have counseled a lot of women who have been through traumatic experiences. This business card is for a group that I'm a part of. Kind of a support group. Women like yourself that are trying to regain a normal life. I won't force it on you but I do think it wouldn't hurt."

"You're probably right. My husband is going to be helping to investigate the situations like my own and Lizzie's. It will be hellish for him but he wants to do it."

"Good man. We meet on Tuesdays at the Methodist church off King's Highway. Address is there. Will he have a problem with it?"

"No, Mike won't. Can Lizzie come too?"

"Yes, absolutely"

"Alright. What's the time? I can't promise on Lizzie but I will try and be there. Mike will most likely encourage it."

"Six pm. Bring a potluck dish. It's pretty informal. None of that sitting in a circle and talking about your experiences. Safe space."

"Sounds good."

Christine shook her hand and walked out and made her next appointment. Mike was waiting outside with the girls in a park type area. Christine was actually excited about the get together. She knew Mike would be supportive of it and hoped she could encourage Lizzie to go along. She strode out to the park area and grabbed Mike from behind, wrapping her arms around his middle. Lizzie was helping Hannah feed some ducks and Mike was watching them. She kissed the back of his neck and came around to where he could wrap his arm around her.

"Hey, did the doctor appointment go okay?"

"Yeah. I've gained another two pounds. She definitely wants us to wait until the three months is up and I've gained some weight before we try for a baby. Said not to stress about it. Gave me some prescriptions to help with the weight gain and beef up my immune system. The marks on my breasts and the burns are almost healed. She also suggested this group that she is a part of for women that have been through traumatic situations that are trying to regain a normal life and relationship. It meets on Tuesdays at six at a church. I'd like to go and I would like Lizzie to go with."

"I think that sounds like a good thing. It's like a support group or something?"

"No. Less formal then that. Potluck. My take is its just women that have been in horrible situations visiting."

"I think it sounds better than a support group."

"So I can go? I'm leaving it up to Lizzie…"

"Chrissy, you don't need to ask for permission to do anything. You never have needed that. If you want to go, than I will drop you off and pick you up until we get you a car and your license back. If Lizzie decides to go, it'll be some father-daughter time between me and Hannah. Something I think we need."

"I agree. Thank you. Let's get these girls out of the wind and go to the pharmacy. What'd you guys do?"

"We went to the mall. And I am officially a sap where those girls are concerned."

"Uh oh?"

"Yeah. We didn't discuss it but Hannah got her ears pierced and Lizzie got her hair cut."

"Oh, that's not so bad. Her hair looks cute. You didn't have Hannah's cut?"

"No, she didn't want it. And I love it when she wears her hair in those braided pigtails. She looks adorable."

"Did you encourage her not getting her hair cut?"

"Slightly."

"You're a mess."

"She'll eventually balk but she was happy with it since I promised her I would let her get her ears pierced. I thought the hair lady was going to die laughing. I also got you a cellphone. Looked at a car lot too."

"You've been busy."

"I want you to have some independence."

"I appreciate that but with the exception of the group at the church, I am fine with not really going out. I know I'll need a vehicle at some point especially when you go to work but right now, I'm fine with not having one. As far as the cellphone is concerned, with the exception of you, I don't have a lot of people to call or text. Not many friends anymore."

"Kara, Alicia, Sasha, Andrea, Tom…"

"People that are your friends. And I'm fine with how things are right now. I want to concentrate on you and the girls."

"Okay but the girls and I can't be your everything."

"But you are. I know eventually I will make friends. I think that group will help with that."

"I just don't want you to be lonely."

"Mike, I am not exactly someone that anyone wants to be friends with. I may not impede your career but your friends, crew, colleagues will not want to associate with me. They've helped me and I appreciate that and will for the rest of my life but we are off the Nathan James now. You may not have ordered them but doing what they did curries a lot of favor with the captain. Maybe they did that stuff to have some sort of advantage with you. Maybe not, but you have to understand where I am coming from. Everyone wants something. I had nothing to give them for helping me, but you do."

"That's not how they operate."

"Maybe, but everyone expects something. Maybe it's not sex but it maybe something else."

"And me?"

"I haven't figured that out."

"Babe, I don't expect anything out of you. Not sex, not anything. If you didn't want to do that ever again, I would still love you and would still stay married to you. As far as my friends are concerned, ask them. They'll tell you."

Christine nodded at him and he yelled for the girls. She wanted to believe him, that his friends didn't expect anything. She did know that what he said about himself was true. She had never been good at making friends. Darian and she had been close but aside from her there had been no other friends. It was not her thing. She just had always only wanted to be a wife, mother and teacher. She'd poured everything into that and it didn't leave room for a lot of friends. Maybe she'd been wrong.

They picked up the prescriptions and Mike insisted on driving her through a car lot to try and get her to tell him what she wanted. Christine finally told him she still didn't care about having a vehicle and wanted to go home. Both girls were sleeping in the backseat and she was in no mood to talk. Mike carried Hannah in and Christine gently woke Lizzie up and helped her inside. She fixed a late lunch and Mike started on his lengthy list. Something was stilted between them and Christine hated it. The girls were both napping and Mike was working on one of the fences outside. She fixed him a cup of coffee and walked it out to him, hoping to fix things.

"It's cool, figured you want some coffee."

"Thanks. You're not napping?"

"No. I have the ingredients to make that apple turnover you like so well so it's in the oven."

"Thanks. It's cold out here, and I don't want you to get sick."

"I wanted to talk to you about earlier. You made a point and I've realized something. Aside from Darian, I was never very good at the whole friend thing. I only ever wanted to be a wife and mom. Even being a teacher was not that important. I poured everything I had into making sure you and the kids were happy. I still want that. Still want you guys happy and to be a good wife and mom. But in doing that, in some ways I cheated you and myself. I realized it at that party on the Nathan James. I would hole myself up fixing food at all those parties Darian organized. I didn't get to know your crew and friends and so I cheated myself. I cheated you because you deserved a wife who was more outgoing. I can't fix that now. But I can try to be better. You deserve that. I am always going to be hardwired to think that everyone, even you, expects something out of me. And I am sorry for that."

"You were and are a phenomenal wife and mom. I hated those parties as much as you did. As far as people expecting things out of you, my crew did what they did for you out of the goodness of their hearts. They didn't expect anything out of me for it. And I think they would say that they got the bigger blessing out of it. I think the group is a good idea for you. You will meet people not associated to me. I've said I am okay with you not working and that is still true but I am afraid that if you don't have some outside outlet, me and the kids will be all you ever associate with because you are afraid of being taken advantage of. I don't want that because you will eventually not be happy. If it's this group or a church or whatever you want, I want you to have that outlet. It won't make you less of a mom or wife and I won't be disappointed in you. I understand you're reasoning but I want something better than what you're suggesting for yourself. Now, that apple turnover is probably about ready and I want it fresh out of the oven. Let's go inside."

Christine nodded at him and pulled him into a hug and kiss. It was bitterly cold and they pulled apart but headed into the house. Lizzie had woke up and taken the apple turnover out of the oven and made some sort of icing with powdered sugar for it. It was delicious and Mike could have eaten the whole thing himself. Hannah was sound asleep on the couch and after they got done eating, rather than tackling his lengthy list, Mike picked her up and laid back down himself with her in his arms. He didn't really need to nap but he did want the time with Hannah. Lizzie laid down on the other part of the sectional and somehow he ended up lying with his head on Christine's lap. She alternated between rubbing her hand over Hannah's arms and smoothing Mike's hair. He had fallen asleep and both girls were out. A nap would do her some good too but she couldn't help but to look around at her home and amazing husband and beautiful daughters and count her blessings.


	18. Chapter 18

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 18

Christine and Lizzie surveyed the crowd in the basement of the church. Lizzie was nervous and was sticking pretty close. Christine saw Dr. Johnson and smiled at her. She walked up to them and patted Christine's shoulder. Christine had figured that they would be seated in a circle and would tell their stories, something she didn't particularly want to do, and Lizzie definitely wouldn't do. But instead all the women were milling around and gossiping.

"This isn't quite what I was suspecting, Dr. Johnson."

"Good or bad? And since we're here, it's Carol."

"I was thinking we'd be in a circle and talk about what had happened. I didn't really want to do that but I wasn't expecting this."

"Oh, no. We don't do that. This is more of a peer to peer thing. We just talk. Most of these women are pretty open and will tell you their stories but they know you're new and still adjusting. They won't make you talk until you're ready. We trade recipes, shopping tips, and the women that are married gripe about their husbands. Some of these women are just starting to date again and so they share their anxieties about being in a relationship and the expectations, something you can probably help with."

"It sounds nice. What about Lizzie?"

"Oh, Lizzie, follow me. I want to introduce you to this young lady. She was orphaned long before the Red Flu and ended up being forced into sex slavery. The Red Flu is what set her free."

"How old is she?"

"Eighteen. Lizzie, this is Amy. Amy, this is the young lady I was talking to you about. Talk away."

Christine and Carol walked away and when Christine looked back Lizzie and Amy had sit down and were talking. Christine set her dish of deviled eggs down on the counter where a slew of other dishes sit. There were women of various ages and races standing around. She noticed some of them wore wedding bands while others didn't. Some of them were downcast while others were upbeat. Christine chose to seek out the upbeat ones because she wasn't prepared to deal with the downcast ones. She had a lot of reasons to be upbeat but being downcast was a lot easier. She knew she would get there someday. It was like Carol had read her thoughts because she steered her towards an African American woman who was about Christine's age. It wasn't until she turned that she realized that the woman had horrific burn scars on the side of her face and down her neck. Christine didn't react even though it was incredibly hard. She had enough of her own scars, but thankfully Mike was the only one who ever saw them.

"Christine, this amazing woman's name is Grace. Grace, Christine."

"It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too. And I'm not sure about the amazing part. You're wondering about the scars?"

"Uh…"

"Don't worry. Everyone does. Let's sit down. You don't have to tell your story, so no need to stress."

"Um…Ok…"

"So, beautiful rings." They had sat down on two folding chairs and Grace had pointed at Christine's rings."

"Thank you."

"What do the other stones signify?"

"The two on this side are my daughters' birthstones. The other two are for my late son and other daughter. He died from the Red Flu and she died from pneumonia almost seven months ago."

"I'm very sorry. Not your originals?"

"No. I sold them to bury our oldest daughter's ashes. My husband and I renewed our vows recently and he gave me them then."

"Where was he?"

"He's in the Navy. Deployed."

"I see. Well, he has good taste. Considering you're here, you've gone through something so he must be a pretty special man."

"Oh, he is."

"You haven't asked."

"About?"

"What happened to me?"

"I didn't want to be too forward."

"It's okay. I tell you my story and at some point, you tell me yours."

"Is it that easy to talk about? I've told my husband everything but to someone you just met?"

"It's cathartic."

"If you say so. I was ashamed to even tell him."

"Okay, no judgement. Why?"

"It sounds stupid now, but Mike, my husband, was the first man I'd ever had sex with. We waited until we got married. He was deployed when the Red Flu hit and circumstances hit. Our son died. Then the famine hit, and it was hard enough to just feed our girls let alone buy medicine for Addy. I sold everything and she died. My younger daughter started coughing and I knew what was coming. I went to food bank and was asking about how to get Hannah medicine. A guy overheard me, and promised medicine if I would come and work for him. I thought it was as a secretary but it wasn't. He got Hannah and I separated and told me if I didn't have sex with him, he would take Hannah. So I did. I hate myself. Anyway he used that same threat and I ended up having sex with him and his clients to provide food and medicine for Hannah. It's where I met Lizzie. She had to do the same thing to provide for herself."

"How do you feel now?"

"Uh…strange. It's like a weight has been lifted off. Similar to what it was like when I told Mike."

"What was his reaction?"

"He is still convinced I was raped. Calls it rape by duress."

"Is he a cop?"

"He was when we got married."

"It just sounds like a term a cop would use. And he's right."

"I made the choice, I cheated on my husband."

"You made the choice to keep his daughter alive. You've adopted Lizzie?"

"Not legally but she is our daughter in every sense."

"That's great."

"So, what happened?"

"Well, not all men are like your husband. My first husband was his opposite. He beat me daily and then he would rape me. We married young and I thought all men were like that. My dad had done the same thing to my mom. It was a cycle. My husband didn't want kids but he refused to use anything to prevent it. I got pregnant and he was furious. Was convinced the baby's was someone else's. We had a bad rainstorm that lasted for days and Ray worked construction so he was out of work. Come home one day, drunk. He beat me and raped me. When he got done, he poured gasoline on my face and tossed a match onto the bed. I was unconscious. Just so happened, there was a couple firefighters downstairs at the little corner store. They smelled the smoke and saw Ray running. I woke up and started screaming. Next thing I know, this big firefighter is rolling me over to put the fire out. Third degree burns. Months of therapy. No pain meds. And that firefighter visited me every day and brought flowers every day."

"What happened?"

"It took me time, but eventually I fell in love. He already was. We've been married almost ten years now."

"That's wonderful. You were pregnant?"

"Oh, yeah. And the baby survived all that. No pain meds. It was excruciating but he's worth it. This is Alex." Grace pulled her cellphone out and flipped to a picture of a ten year old boy.

"He's adorable."

"I think so. My husband, Dylan and I are sure proud of him. And there are three more. Somehow, we managed to not be hit by the Red Flu. This is Claire, Liam and our youngest, Sophie. And there's my husband. You probably think your husband the most handsome man in the world but I think Dylan is."

"You have a beautiful family."

"Thank you. So you're wondering how I handled being married again and all the other things that go along with it. The sex?"

"Uh…"

"It took a while. I wasn't even sure it was something I could do but Dylan has been great. What about you and your husband?"

"What about us?"

"How has he handled it?"

"If you're asking if we've had sex, we have. He's gentle and patient."

"Good. Was he always like that?"

"Yes but more so now. And before you ask, the sex is amazing. It's best because it's someone I love and who loves me back."

"You seem conflicted though?"

"It's only been a few weeks. Doesn't it seem a bit soon?"

"Were you ready?"

"Yes. I was surprised how much I was ready for it."

"You wanted to be loved, touched and dare I say it, even possessed by a kind, gentle, and loving man."

"I think I understand what you are saying but Mike would hate the possessed part. He wouldn't want to possess me."

"It makes him even more special. But in many ways, he possesses you and you possess him."

"I suppose."

"It sounds like you are a very blessed woman to have a husband like that. Not all men are that forgiving, not that you have anything to be forgiven for."

"Mike's amazing. I figured he'd walk away but he didn't. I only asked that he cared for Hannah. He's done that and so much more. He pretty much ended any hope of any career advancement to insure he was home with us every night. Bought the house of my dreams and everything. Took Lizzie in and is developing an amazing relationship with her."

"He sounds a lot like my Dylan. He switched to a desk position so that he worked regular hours. Not all these women are as lucky or are looking."

"If it wasn't Mike, I wouldn't."

"You had a good relationship beforehand?"

"Yes. We had issues, typical stuff when one of the partners is in the military but we managed."

"You're showing Lizzie that she can have a good relationship."

"I hope she does one day. If you ask Mike, he hopes it will be a long time in the future but he says the same thing about Hannah. Same went for Addy."

"Protective dad?"

"Oh very much so. It'll drive them crazy but it's endearing too."

"They'll thank him for it later."

"I think so. I'm gonna grab a bite to eat. Lizzie and Amy seem to be getting along. I've never seen her so animated looking."

"Amy is a good girl. Carol took her in. She'll be a good friend for Lizzie."

"Yeah. I'm homeschooling both girls until they get caught up and healthy. Doesn't work so well for the socializing thing."

"Well, you're their mother. You know what's best. What did you do before the Red Flu?"

"I was a tenth grade history teacher. What about you?"

"Architect. I work from home now. I bet teachers will be in demand, will you go back to work?"

"Undecided. Mike and I both want a baby but have to wait to make sure my labs come back okay and I gain some weight. If I get pregnant, then no. I will want to stay with the little one. Even if not, Mike doesn't care if I go back or not. He is just worried I won't have an outlet."

"So, he's on board with you being here?"

"More than."

"What's he doing while you and Lizzie are here?"

"He and Hannah had big plans. Not sure what exactly but I think it involved Christmas shopping and a daddy/daughter dinner."

"How sweet."

"They're adorable together. Mike had a rough time at first because Hannah didn't really remember him. She had kind of gone through a grieving process for him and wasn't putting him together with her memories of him. At first she referred to him as 'that man.' Mike was pretty torn up."

"Oh, I bet. That would be hard."

"Yeah. And he had just found out about Addy. I think that was more of what steered him towards taking shore duty. We hadn't taken Lizzie in yet and he was terrified of not having a good relationship with his only child."

"It sounds like he did it for all the right reasons."

"I think so. Whoever made these cream cheese wontons, I need to get the recipe."

"I made them. Here's my cellphone number. What's yours and I'll message it to you?"

"I haven't gotten one yet. I will though. Mike has mentioned it a couple times. Is that lemon in it? They're delicious."

"Lemon. But it's good with raspberries too and thank you. I love to cook."

"Oh, me too. Lizzie does as well."

"It's getting late? Is that your husband and daughter? He's a brave man to come in here with all these women."

"He is brave and yes. We only have one vehicle right now so he's picking us up. I'd better go. It's so nice to meet you and I will text you when I get my phone."

Grace gave her a huge hug and Christine looked over and noticed Amy hugging Lizzie too. Mike was waiting for them and Hannah was looking around at everyone. Christine grabbed her dish and Lizzie met her before she got to Mike and Hannah. Lizzie was absolutely bubbly and Christine felt good too. She gave Hannah a hug and kissed Mike before they made their way out of the church.

"Did you ladies have a good time?"

"Yeah! I met this girl, Amy. She's a little older than me. She gave me her cellphone number for if I got a phone."

"I'll get you one. Christine?"

"Yeah, it was nice. I need to get a phone too."

"Who was that woman you were talking to?"

"Her name's Grace. What about you guys? Hannah?"

"Daddy and I went shopping for Christmas but I'm not supposed to say that we got you a necklace. Then we went for pizza."

"Oh, Hannah." Mike was rubbing his hand over his face and Christine was laughing at him. Even Lizzie thought it was funny.

"It's okay, Mike. Did you have fun?"

"Yeah! Next week we're going bowling and Daddy is going to let me eat bad food."

"I said junk food, not bad food. Hannah, you're really turning the heat up on the hot water I'm standing in."

"It sounds like fun, sweetie. Don't worry about it, Mike."

"Hannah, you and I are going to have a little talk about keeping secrets tonight before bedtime."

"Okay, Daddy. I had a good time though."

"Me too, baby."

Christine grinned at Mike and stroked the side of his face. He kissed the palm of her hand and then turned his attention back to the road. Both girls fell asleep on the way home and Mike ended up carrying Hannah upstairs to her bedroom.

"She's gained weight."

"It's all that bad food you let her eat."

"It was nice to just spend some one on one time with her. I'd like to do the same with Lizzie and you too of course."

"Glad you clarified."

"Uh-huh. Ready for bed?"

"Of course."

Mike locked up and they headed to bed. Lizzie had already gone to bed and Hannah was snoring. As she was getting ready for bed, Christine stepped on the scale. It made her smile. Only five more pounds until she was considered a healthy weight. She finished brushing her teeth and noted there was no blood from her gums indicating that she was not as malnourished. It was a tiny step forward but she took them as they came. Mike was tossing the throw pillows off the bed and turning the sheets and blankets down.

"Ninety five pounds and no blood in the sink after I brushed my teeth."

"That's great. Your hair has gotten thicker too. It's not falling out either."

"I was thinking about inviting Grace and her kids out. I wanted to make candy and bake Saturday. That okay with you?"

"Of course. Is she married?"

"Yes, a firefighter, Dylan."

"Invite him too."

"I will. You didn't ask what had happened to her?"

"I honestly don't need to know. As long as it wasn't her husband that did it to her, it's not my business. I am glad that you made a friend. And it seems Lizzie did too."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I started reading through the files on this investigation today. It's mentally boggling and sickening what happened to those women and children."

"We don't have to have them over."

"No, invite them. I will only get through these investigations if I surround myself with people that have survived equally as bad of stuff and draw strength from them. Maybe invite Lizzie's friend and that doctor."

"Amy? Actually the doctor's name is Carol and she has taken Amy in."

"Perfect. You should invite them over. I'm sure I can find something in common with Dylan."

"Can I borrow your cellphone to call them tomorrow? Maybe you should have Tom come out?"

"Absolutely and I will be getting you and Lizzie one. I think Tom has plans Saturday and I honestly need a break from the Navy."

"You're worrying me. Is there anything I can do?"

"Just be you."

"You'll tell me if I need to do something else?"

"Yes. Come here."

Christine laid her head on Mike's chest and grabbed ahold of his hand. It didn't take long for his breathing to become steady and for him to start snoring. She looked up at his face and noticed the lines of tension and just prayed that he would find the strength that the investigations would require. He would be hearing stories far worse than hers and Lizzie's and she was worried about the emotional aspect, especially since he was still very much grieving for their dead children and adjusting to her circumstances.


	19. Chapter 19

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 19

Mike didn't get in until almost midnight Friday night and Christine had fallen asleep on the couch waiting on him. He had started reading the files of some of the women and children that were assaulted and it hurt just thinking about what had been done to them. He felt dirty.. He had asked for a female partner but had not gotten one yet, and the investigations had to start. He gently woke Christine up because she needed to rest properly.

"Hey, babe, wake up."

"Uhh…what time is it?"

"Almost midnight. What time is everyone coming tomorrow?"

"Nine."

"I'm going to take a shower. I'll go to bed in a bit."

"Want me to join you?"

"In the shower or in bed?"

"Both."

"Chrissy, I'm exhausted. I couldn't if I wanted to."

He turned and headed up the stairs before he could see the pain on Christine's face. She knew he hadn't meant it the way it sounded but it had cut pretty deeply. She was beginning to wish he hadn't taken the job investigating the assaults. She just wasn't sure how to tell him that given she and Lizzie were the reason why he had taken it. She locked the house up, turned lights off and checked on both girls before going into her and Mike's room. She could hear the shower running and considered just going in but she wasn't sure what his reaction would be. His temper had been pretty short. He had snapped at Hannah the night before and hadn't even realized what he had done. It took a good hour to get the little girl calmed down and to stop crying. Mike hadn't hugged or kissed any of them goodbye that morning and Hannah had told her when Christine was tucking her into bed that she was glad that her daddy was staying away since he hated her. It had broken Christine's heart. All she could do was assure Hannah that her daddy loved her very much. Lizzie had withdrawn because Mike's mood scared her. Christine turned the bed down and climbed in. It felt like the longest shower ever. Mike finally turned the water off and walked out in his boxers. He shut but didn't lock the bedroom door and climbed in next to her but kept his distance. He had barely touched her that week and so she laid her head on his chest. She felt his sharp intake of breath but decided to stay put.

"I need to sleep, Chrissy. I have trouble when you go to sleep like this." Christine rose up and looked at him in shock.

"Since when? I've done this our entire marriage and you've never said a word."

"I just never said anything."

"Alright." Christine laid back on her pillows and Mike turned on his side, facing away from her. She thought about talking to him but was honestly scared to instigate him.

"I love you."

"Mmm." The non-answer hurt badly but she kissed the back of his neck and rolled to her other side. She needed to talk to him about the girls, specially about Hannah but decided against it. All she could hope for was that he would be in a better mood when they woke up.

About four, Hannah came in crying from a bad dream. Christine started to put her in the middle between her and Mike but the little girl become instantly sullen when she saw her father. Christine decided to just scoot closer to Mike and let Hannah have her spot. It was just easier. Mike was destroying his relationship with his daughter and not even realizing it.

Christine and Hannah both woke up about six but Christine decided to let Mike sleep in with hopes of a better mood. She looked in on Lizzie who was still sound asleep and she and Hannah went downstairs to start coffee and breakfast.

"Mommy, maybe if we made Daddy's favorite breakfast and gave him breakfast in bed, he would decide he loves us again."

"Hannah, Daddy loves us a lot. He's just going through some stuff at work. We can make him his favorite breakfast and he can have breakfast in bed."

"But that stuff is at work. I've been good but he still says mean stuff."

"It'll get better and he's sorry."

Hannah shrugged her shoulders at her and Christine started Mike's breakfast. She hoped he would stay asleep long enough to appreciate Hannah's kind gesture. Christine fixed Mike's scrambled eggs, crispy bacon and half done toast just like he liked it. Hannah put a note on the tray with a simple "I love you, Daddy" written on it. She could see the hope in the little girl's eyes and hoped Mike would be halfway happy or at least act the part for Hannah's sake. Christine carried the tray upstairs and into their bedroom and Hannah jumped onto the bed next to Mike, instantly jarring him awake.

"Hannah, don't do that. You startled me and I could have really hurt you."

"But, Daddy…"

"No talking back, young lady. Room, now!" Mike rose up just enough to swat Hannah on the behind and pushed her off the bed into a standing position. He hadn't realized Christine was even in the room, let alone with a tray of food. Hannah started crying and ran out of the room before Christine could stop her. Christine slammed the tray down on the dresser and cleared her throat.

"Enough Mike! I don't know what is going on but you have been a bear the last couple days. All that little girl wanted to do was show you how much she loves you. She had me fix you breakfast so that she could serve you breakfast in bed and this is how you treat her. If you hadn't noticed, your relationship with her is pretty delicate still yet and you are sabotaging it. I get this investigation is getting to you but taking it out on a ten year old is uncalled for. She thinks that you hate her. Now, I know that isn't true but she doesn't. You took shore duty because you wanted to be a better husband and father and until the last couple days, you've done excellent. Now you've completely upset Hannah and Lizzie is scared of you. You need to get your act together, quickly!"

Christine walked out the bedroom door, slamming it behind her. She could hear Hannah crying in her bedroom. Thankfully Lizzie had slept through the entire thing. Christine sit down on the bed next to Hannah and pulled her in for a hug. The little girl clung to her tightly and was hiccupping from crying so hard.

"It's okay, sweetie. It's okay."

"No, it isn't."

"He loves you so, so much."

"No, he hates me." Christine heard the bedroom door open and close and thought it was Lizzie until she felt a heavier weight sit down next to her on the bed and smelled Mike's aftershave. She nodded at him and gently put Hannah in his arms. She wouldn't leave the room because she wasn't sure Hannah would react. She gave him her best "Mama Bear" look and he nodded at her, completely understanding what she was communicating.

"Hannah, sweetie, look at me." Hannah looked a little shocked that Mike was even in the room, let alone holding her. She started to pull completely away but he held onto her. "I absolutely do not hate you. I love you so, so, so much. I know that I've hurt you and I am really sorry about that. I'll do better, I promise. I just hope you can forgive me."

Hannah's bottom lip was still quivering and her little chin was shaking. She looked towards Christine with a "Mom, what should I do?" look. Christine nodded at her and gave her a small smile. Instead of saying anything, Hannah wrapped both arms around Mike's neck and kissed his cheek. Christine sat back down next to Mike and rubbed his shoulder. He gave her a slight smile and she leaned over and gave him a kiss.

"It goes for you too. I've been horrible to you and Lizzie too."

"I won't say its okay but you're forgiven and we love you. Just don't let it happen again. I understand you feel you need to lead this investigation but if it comes down to it, walk away from it."

"I love you too." Hannah pulled away and was looking at Mike like she was assessing him. He started wiping the tears off her face and kissed her forehead.

"Daddy, what made you so sad at work?"

"Oh, Hannah. It's hard to understand."

"Tell me."

"Uh…Christine, should I?"

"She needs to understand it."

"Hannah, I'm helping women that had to work like Mom and Lizzie. Some of their stories make me really sad and yesterday there was a girl about Addy's age and she looked a lot like her. Name was the same too. It bothered me."

"Did you help her?"

"I'm not sure I can. I've only read her file. But that isn't a good enough excuse for how I treated you."

"Like Mommy said, don't let it happen again. Did you eat your breakfast?"

"No. But I read your note."

"Daddy, Mommy worked really hard on that breakfast and you need to eat it before it gets cold. Scrambled eggs aren't good cold."

"Yes, ma'am."

Both Mike and Christine stood up and he picked Hannah up and they all walked to the master bedroom. They all settled back down on the bed and Mike ate his cold breakfast and acted like it was the best thing ever which made Hannah happy.

Hannah went to get dressed while Mike and Christine got ready for the day. He made the bed and took the dishes downstairs while she showered. He could hear both girls moving around and thought about going downstairs to talk to Lizzie but he felt he needed to talk to Christine first. She finally came out, and was apparently not expecting to see him because she was only wearing a towel and had her hair in another towel.

"Figured you would be downstairs."

"I'll go down there in a minute. I wanted to talk to you first."

"Mike, I need to get dressed. You made it more than obvious last night that you didn't want me to lay my head on your chest or anything else so I don't expect you to want to see me without this towel."

"I said that?"

"You said and I repeat 'I couldn't if I wanted to' and when I put my head on your chest last night you said 'I need to sleep, Chrissy. I have trouble when you go to sleep like this.' I asked you since when and you said you just hadn't ever said anything. Ringing any bells?"

"I don't know what to say…I'm sor…"

"Yeah, that works on a ten year old."

"You said in Hannah's room…"

"That you were forgiven and that I love you? I do. But that doesn't mean I am not angry with you. You are the basis that those girls will use to judge all men by. And the last couple days, you've not exactly shown them a good example."

"Okay, so how do I fix it? With them and you?"

"You've fixed it with Hannah; you just have to follow through where she is concerned. As far as Lizzie is concerned, she follows my lead so it's more what you do where I am concerned."

"Okay, so what?"

"Have you asked for help? I know you are determined to do these investigations so I won't ask you to step away unless you feel you need to."

"I asked for a female partner. I've yet to get one."

"Okay. I can see where a female partner might help."

"I am just looking at the files and it's disturbing. There are three tables the size of the kitchen island stacked with files four feet deep. I have no idea where to even start."

"And you have no help?"

"None. But that is not your fault. I shouldn't have…"

"No you shouldn't have. Can you hire help?"

"Considering the fact that I am barely getting paid for this, no."

"Can you have volunteers?"

"I can but who would want to volunteer for this? Some of the pictures make me want to gauge my eyes out."

"Let me do some asking. I'll help you. You need to organize that mess."

"I can't subject you to that. Let alone anyone else."

"Let me decide what I am subjected to."

"Chrissy, I appreciate the offer and I love you for it but I am an experienced cop and this stuff bothers me. You have enough to deal with; I can't stress you like that."

"What will stress me more is watching my husband withdrawing, becoming angry and upsetting our children. If I can stop that from happening than I will. You are doing this to help those women and those children and I am going to do this to help you. Now, come here."

"Why?" Christine crooked her eyebrow at him. She had her arms crossed over her chest and was standing across the room from him. Mike didn't know what else to do other than cross the room to her. She uncrossed her arms and pulled him into a big hug which shocked him. He wasn't sure what he expected but a hug wasn't it.

"Mike, the towel is going to fall. I have to let you go or I'm going to lose it."

"I wouldn't mind that."

"Sure about that?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'd even take advantage of it if we didn't have the kids downstairs and company due soon."

"That's never stopped you before."

"Are you encouraging me?"

"Well considering where your hands are, you don't need much encouragement."

"You need help holding the towel."

"Hmm, is that what you're doing?"

"Yep."

"Tonight, Mike. Right now, we have two hungry kids downstairs and company that is due in less than a half hour. I need to get dressed and do something with my hair and I can't do it with you holding my towel up or pulling at it like you are really doing."

"Hmm. Is that a promise?"

"Yes, if you let me sleep on your chest."

"Yeah. I didn't mean that like it sounded…"

"I know. I'm stepping away now."

"I promise not to pull the towel down when you do."

Christine laughed at him and kissed him before she stepped back. She had to quickly adjust the towel because of how Mike had maneuvered it. She headed for the bathroom while he quickly got dressed and headed downstairs to fix the girls some sort of breakfast. It was honestly pretty typical of their fights. His screw up, her fix and a passionate make up. She quickly dried her hair and put it in a loose braid, put leggings and a t-shirt on with warm socks and headed downstairs. Mike had fixed the girls scrambled eggs and bacon with toast and was cleaning the kitchen up. Lizzie was eyeing him suspiciously and knowing that Lizzie would follow her lead; Christine pulled Mike into a hug and gave his a kiss on the cheek. Mike knew what she was doing and nuzzled her neck. She finally pulled away but nodded at Lizzie. She could see the tension in the young girl's shoulder dissipate.

"Chrissy, there's a plate of breakfast there. Girls, more scrambled eggs before I clean the pan?" Hannah shook her head no but Lizzie pushed her plate towards Mike. He spooned the eggs over onto her plate and bent over and kissed her on top of the head. Lizzie just nodded at him and went back to eating her food. The doorbell rang and Mike headed for the front door, knowing it was one of their visitors. He opened it and a tall brunette woman and a blonde girl a little older than Lizzie was standing on the porch.

"I hope we're in the right place?"

"Doctor Johnson and Amy?"

"Yes, but its Carol. You must be Mike?"

"I am. Come on in. Let me take your coats. Christine is back in the kitchen with the girls." Both women handed him their coats. Amy's sleeve pulled up, revealing scars on both wrists indicating she had been bound for a long period of time. It made Mike's heart hurt for her. She couldn't be any more than eighteen. But she had the brightest smile that he had ever seen.

"Beautiful home. So are you the only man around today? Poor guy." Carol had an easygoing manner and he understood why Christine had been so drawn to her.

"Grace's husband is supposed to be coming out with them."

"Oh, Dylan? You'll like him."

"I'm sure. Here we are."

Carol and Amy both hugged Christine and Lizzie. Hannah looked a little left out and so Mike picked her up and kissed her cheek. Thankfully, the little girl had already forgiven him and wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her head on his shoulder. She seemed a bit tired.

"Sorry about Hannah. She had a rough night and morning. Mike, maybe you can see if you can rock her to sleep in the recliner? You slept through her getting in bed with us at four."

"Yeah, come on, sweetie." Mike carried her into the living room and sit down in the recliner with her. He could hear Carol and Christine visiting and heard Lizzie and Amy head up to her room. Hannah wasn't settling very well.

"What's going on?"

"Can I go get Snickers? She's still upstairs."

"Yep." Hannah jumped off his lap and the doorbell rang. He got up and indicated to Christine he'd get it. Hannah ran up the stairs and he headed for the door. On the other side was Grace, a man about his age and four kids under the age of ten. He immediately let them in because the kids looked cold.

"Hey, you must be Mike. I'm Grace, this is Dylan, this one here is Alex, Claire and Liam and Dylan is holding Sophie."

"Nice to meet you all. Come on in. I'll take your coats."

Dylan sit down Sophie who was about a year and a half old and took her coat off while Grace helped the other three with their coats. Hannah made her way down the stairs with Snickers and as soon as Sophie seen the kitten she started jumping up and down and pointing at her.

"Daddy! Kit kit!"

"I should have asked, is anyone allergic to cats?"

"No. All good here."

"Good. Let's go back here. Sophie, if you want, you can pet the kitty?"

The toddler nodded at him excitedly and they all headed into the kitchen/living room area. Grace split off into the kitchen while Dylan, Mike and the kids headed into the living room. Mike found a kid's movie on the TV and the older kids settled on the floor to watch it. Hannah had pretty well accepted that Sophie wanted to cuddle Snickers and had struck up an instant friendship with Claire and Alex. He started to hand the kitten over to Dylan but Sophie climbed up in his lap instead and started petting the kitten. He adjusted her to where she was sitting a little safer and looked over at Dylan who was laughing.

"Sophie doesn't know a stranger. All she cares about is that kitten."

"Yeah. It's been a long time since I held a kid so young."

"Yeah. Having one her age is fun. Before you know it she'll be asleep."

"Oh, I don't mind but she doesn't know me that well."

"One day, I had one of the rookies over for dinner. Anyway, Sophie climbed up in his lap and passed out. He'd never held a baby before and was scared to death he'd break her. I suppose we'd better teach her some stranger danger but her personality and how she is instantly accepting of anyone is refreshing."

"Addy was like that. I was a cop back then and it scared me to death. Then she went through that separation anxiety and hated to be away from me or her mom."

"What department?"

"Chicago. Homicide. I was a detective on the south side."

"Rough. Around here there has always been that red versus blue thing. Then the Flu hit. We were always on the same team but the Red Flu made us realize it. There is a lot of cross training now. Cops needed to know how to fight a fire because of low manpower and we needed to know how to handle the criminals when we couldn't get a cop there immediately. I'm mostly on a desk now but I do go out at least once a week. Grace said you're Navy now?"

"Yeah. I'm a captain but I've been assigned to head up an investigation into situations like Christine and Lizzie's. After that I'm a trainer at the new training facility"

"That will be rough. We had a vehicle fire just last week. Was a truck and trailer and in the back of the trailer, there was a group of women and kids that had been trafficked in. Not sure where the driver was headed but thankfully none of them were hurt. We've seen a lot of that since the Red Flu. Given that I-44 runs through St. Louis, it's a thoroughfare."

"I hadn't even thought of that. It's already overwhelming. The Red Flu brought out the worse in humanity."

"It did. But it also brought out the best. You just have to look for it. What Carol has done for these women like Grace and the others is one of the things that is good."

"Christine and Lizzie have sure brightened up. Christine had gotten to where she didn't want to leave the house, let alone have people here."

"That's pretty common. Grace works from home. She is pretty outspoken about her scars but it's still hard when people judge her. She loves the work she does now."

"Chrissy told me she was an architect?"

"Yes. But she is designing small homes for women that have been in situations like what hers was and like your wife and daughter's. It like a habitat for humanity community. She loves it because it gives them control. With limits, they can decide how their house will look, paint colors, cabinets, etc. It's a not for profit so no pay to speak of but she lights up when she gets to help one of this women pick things out for their house and take some control."

"That's incredible."

"I think so. Grace, Carol and a couple other women counsel the women; help them find jobs, and babysitters. They help them regain a normal life. In time, they will need counseling when they start developing normal relationships but the women don't enable them. Just help them realize they can have normal, healthy friendships and later down the road, romantic relationships and how to get through the intimacy issues."

"Christine jumped through all that so quickly."

"It was because she was familiar with you and knew she was safe. Had it not been you, she would be facing the same issues."

"She said that if it wasn't me, she wouldn't."

"I think Grace is the same way about me. Just be glad that you're her person. Don't crush that."

"Copy that."

Sophie and the kitten had fallen asleep on his lap and Mike could hear Christine and the two other women talking in the kitchen. He couldn't hear what was being said but he could hear Christine laughing and that was all he cared about. It had been a rare sound. He could also hear Lizzie laughing in her room. Dylan and Mike spent the rest of the day visiting. They actually had a lot in common and Mike was thrilled to have a friend who didn't know or didn't care what Mike had done on the Nathan James and had no association with the Navy. It had become a rare thing and he was enjoying it.


	20. Chapter 20

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 20

Christine, Carol and Grace made cookies, fudge, turtles and rock candy. She had looked in on Mike and found him in the recliner still holding Sophie and Snickers. The other kids were watching a movie and the older two girls were in Lizzie's room. She quietly explained what Mike's issues with the investigation were and it was like a switch had been flipped in Carol's brain. She went into overdrive.

"We need to create a database and set them on a numeric filing system. It will help him disassociate when he needs to. As badly as I hate to say it, they need to become a number. And he does really need a female to go with him. If the government won't get him one, then one of us should go with him. He can't do this on his own."

"I agree but I don't know how to set up databases, or numeric filing systems, let alone how to investigate something."

"Well there are a lot of us. He knows how to investigate; he just needs someone to sit with him when he's talking to these women and children. Not any one of us can do it, but a combined effort will get him through this and get the justice he is working for."

"Why would you all do this?"

"Because he is doing this for all the right reasons, the same reasons I've been working towards for years. The same reasons Grace helps those women take back in control. Where's your bathroom?"

"That door in the entryway." Carol wiped her hands off and headed into the powder room. Christine was astonished by her and Grace was just grinning at her.

"I met Carol the night they took me into the ER. She was a young resident who had just left an abusive relationship. If it hadn't been for her and Dylan, I wouldn't have gotten through everything and I would have miscarried Alex. Carol has been a champion for this cause. Let her help. You won't regret it and Mike needs the help."

"He does. He is so overwhelmed. I've never seen him like this. He was a good detective because he would become personally invested in the cases but there are hundreds of them…or more. And he's one man."

"One man who just returned from a long deployment, who is recovering from being shot and stabbed, is still grieving for his dead children and readjusting to being a husband and father again. He needs help."

"I appreciate this and I know Mike will. He was completely beside himself this morning. Thank God Hannah is as forgiving."

"She's a sweet little girl. I can see why he would be so overwhelmed. Why isn't the government helping?"

"I think it just struck the president but he didn't have a follow through plan. The fortunate thing is they aren't making Mike perform his duties for the Navy while he does this. He didn't get home until almost midnight last night. He needs to rest. He's only been a couple weeks since he got shot."

"Well, you will be close by and can force him to rest when he needs to and aside from that, he'll have a ton of work wives that will be watching out for him."

"I appreciate that. My concern now is Lizzie and Hannah. I don't want them exposed to all this."

"We'll work it out. They can hang out with me if I'm not there. There's a whole group of us that will look out for them when you and Mike can't. No worries there. I think Mike has a little buddy."

"Sophie? Yeah, I saw that. He loved when the kids were that age. He's pretty excited about the idea of us having a baby."

"So how long before the three months is up?"

"Almost two more months until we start trying. When we started trying for Lucas, we tried for about six months with no plus sign. We decided to take a break trying before we started IVF. We relaxed, took a 'Mommy and Daddy weekend' and sure enough. I hope it's that easy this time but we're older and my health isn't quite the same."

"Maybe you and Mike need one of those weekends when it's time to start trying." Carol walked back in and grabbed a cookie off the plate and was blowing at it to make it start cooling.

"I told her to just relax and not think about making a baby. Just enjoy the process."

"How has this conversation evolved? I am liking the idea of a 'Mommy and Daddy weekend' but the girls may not think so."

"We can come up with something for them. Amy and Lizzie have gotten pretty close and Hannah has struck up a friendship with Alex and Claire. Even if you don't do a weekend away, just a weekend at home. Nice kick off."

"Thanks…I think."

"Considering I'm your doctor and I will be the one delivering the baby, I think that sort of weekend is just what the doctor ordered. Honestly I think it's a good idea now."

"Oh, Carol, probably but it'll be more fun when they don't have to use birth control methods. They can just have fun."

"Oh my lord. You ladies realize I don't like talking about my sex life."

"Oh, we figured. We need to go lingerie shopping, don't you think, Grace?"

"Yep."

"I have some but it's getting too small. I've gained weight."

"How much now?"

"Ninety five pounds."

"Okay, the doctor in me wants you at about 120 before you and Mike start making a baby. Eat those cookies."

"A doctor is telling me to eat cookies. That's a first."

"Well, this mom is telling you the same thing. We need to feed our husbands and kids too. I'm surprised they haven't started hollering yet."

"I'll go check on them. It's gotten quiet in there." Christine headed into the living room and looking down at Mike. Sophie and Mike were both passed out and Hannah was also in the chair leaned up on Mike's other shoulder, sound asleep. Dylan had also leaned over and fell asleep with Liam in his arms, also asleep but holding the kitten. Alex and Claire were on the couch next to Dylan and were drifting off. Christine grabbed a couple blankets and covered Mike, Hannah and Sophie up.

"Grace, come here." Grace walked in and immediately smiled at her sleeping husband and children. She got the kitten out of Liam's hands and covered them with blanket that Christine handed her. Carol covered Alex and Claire with another blanket and shut the TV off. Christine took Snickers back to Hannah's room and put her in the cat carrier. Lizzie and Amy were looking at books and listening to music. Christine promised them lunch soon and headed downstairs.

"Let's get some soup and sandwiches ready. The teenagers are hungry."

"Teenagers stay hungry."

"Yeah, I've noticed that. I think Lizzie can out eat Mike, and that's saying a lot."

"To have her metabolism."

"I don't have to worry about my metabolism right now."

"No. But Grace and I do." Carol and Christine were working on a grilled cheese sandwiches while Grace worked on a heating up a soup that Christine had premade the night before. They got everything heated up and the table set in the kitchen nook for the kids and the table in the dining room set for the adults and Sophie. Christine hated waking them all up but they needed to eat. She leaned down next to Mike and kissed his cheek and he instantly opened his eyes up.

"You've always looked good holding a baby."

"Mmm. She's sweet. Course, Hannah is pretty sweet too."

"She is. Lunch is ready."

"It smells good in here."

"Well, I'd hope. Let me get Sophie and you handle Hannah." Christine gently picked the sleeping toddler up off Mike's lap. Sophie woke up in the transition and immediately cuddled up to Christine until she saw Grace and then she reached for her. Mike had gotten Hannah woke up but was cuddling her because she had started coughing.

"Daddy, where's Snickers? Liam had her."

"Sweetie, I put her in your room. You can get her back out after lunch."

"Okay. Daddy, can you hold me a little longer?"

"Of course." Mike cradled Hannah close while everyone else went to get lunch. She was continuing to cough and Mike sat her up and rubbed her back gently. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay. I just cough sometimes. It feels good when you hold me like this. You haven't much lately."

"Yeah, I know, baby. I'm sorry. I promise I'll be better."

"It's okay, Daddy. You're helping those people so they don't have to work like Mommy. That's more important. I'm sorry how I treated you this morning. It wasn't right and…"

"No, no, Hannah. You didn't do anything wrong. Nothing and no one is more important than you, your mom and Lizzie to me. You guys are my world and I love you all more than life itself. The people I'm helping are important but you girls are my priority. And I am sorry you thought differently."

"Okay but those people need help, Daddy and you help people. That's important."

"True. Hungry yet?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, let's eat."

The table was filled with kids and so Mike took Hannah's plate and bowl with him into the dining room. She ended up sitting between Christine and Carol while Dylan told her stories about fighting fires. He promised Hannah she could visit the fire station where he worked. The conversation around the table was pretty child friendly since both Hannah and Sophie were sitting with them.

"So, Hannah, my kids love having friends over and there is a special kid's event tomorrow at church. If it's okay with your mom and dad, do you want to spend the night and go with us?" Grace winked at Christine who just started laughing. She knew exactly what Grace was doing and knew Carol would be coming up with an excuse for Lizzie to go with her. Mike was looking at Hannah and nodding at her.

"Oh, can I, Mommy? Daddy?"

"Sure."

"Christine, are you okay with church?"

"Yeah. I was a pastor's daughter so church is great."

"Well, since Hannah is going to be out of the house, maybe Lizzie would want to go with Amy and I? We are going for a girl's day and would love for her to go with."

"You guys are a mess. If she wants to, then it's fine."

"Alright. Well she can stay overnight too."

"Perfect."

"Daddy, don't forget to let Snickers out to eat and use her litter pan."

"I won't, sweetie."

They finished lunch and Carol filled Lizzie in on the plans they had and she was excited to go with them. Christine helped both girls pack a bag to take with them. They would pick Hannah up at the kid's event at the church the next afternoon and Lizzie at Carol's house when they went there for dinner. Mike fixed a plate of cookies and candy for both families and gave the girls both a kiss goodbye. Christine hugged them both and gave both Carol and Grace the house number in case anything happened. She knew it wouldn't because her friends had decided that she and Mike needed a weekend immediately. She was actually looking forward to it. After they got everyone out the door, she found Mike in the kitchen cleaning everything up.

"So, no kids. What's the plan?"

"Dinner in or out? Whatever you want?"

"I really don't want to go out for dinner. Maybe a nice dinner here?"

"How about I run to that little store and get a couple steaks? Bottle of wine?"

"Chocolate ice cream too?"

"Sure. Anything else?"

"Whatever you think. I'll put a couple baked potatoes in and make a salad."

"Sounds good."

Mike grabbed his truck keys and Christine gave him a kiss before he left. She put the potatoes in, texted Mike to get sour cream and green onions and made a salad. She decided to change into something a little nicer than the flour covered t-shirt and her leggings. She didn't have that many clothes but she would find something. After spending ten minutes going through her clothes she sent Carol a text.

 _"Help! You always look so nice. Mike and I are having a nice dinner in and I want to change into something nice. Except I have no clothes that really fit anymore."_

 _"He will be fine with anything. We'll take you shopping next week."_

 _"I would raid Lizzie's closet but I don't want to look sixteen."_

 _"I'm sure you have something."_

 _"I'm looking."_

 _"That sweater you had on Tuesday night was nice."_

 _"It's getting snug. And my camisole is in the laundry."_

 _"So don't wear the camisole."_

 _"It's a little low cut."_

 _"It's your husband. Nothing he hasn't seen or enjoyed before."_

 _"True. I have a skirt too. I just don't want to wear shoes."_

 _"He won't mind. Enjoy yourself!"_

 _"How's my girl?"_

 _"Lizzie is fine. She and Amy are playing in the make-up. She says to enjoy yourself. Remember you have two more months before he can go without the condoms."_

 _"I know."_

 _"Alright. Have fun. And don't worry about Lizzie."_

 _"Yes, Mom."_

 _"Haha, funny. Enjoy yourself…or Mike, rather."_

Christine just laughed and wished she had asked Grace for help instead. She quickly changed into the sweater and knee length pleated skirt. It was fuller and made her look heavier. Normally she would have hated that but she needed to look bigger. She pulled her hair out of the braid and brushed it out and headed back downstairs just as Mike pulled back in. Christine opened the door to help him with the groceries and he let out a whistle.

"I guess I need to change clothes. You look beautiful."

"Thanks. And not necessary. You can set the table though while I cook the steaks."

"Okay. Let me run up to the bedroom." Mike took one of the small sacks and ran up the stairs. It made her wonder what he was doing because she heard the shower running but she concentrated on cooking the steaks. She unpacked the bags. Mike had gone a little wild at the store. There was garlic bread, the wine, chocolate ice cream, syrup, whipped cream and candle sticks. Mike was apparently feeling a little romantic. Christine put the garlic bread in the oven and the wine in to chill and put the other items in the fridge and freezer. She found candleholders that would fit the sticks and wine glasses. She had the table almost set when Mike finally came downstairs. He was freshly showered, shaved, and wearing a pair of jeans, a nice shirt and sports coat. They had turned the extra room into a craft room and he was carrying tissue flowers.

"Wow, Mike. You haven't made those in years. I love it!"

"Well, don't tell any of the guys at work that I know how to make them. It might be a bit embarrassing."

"I won't. I remember you making them for our first Valentine's Day after Addy was born. You couldn't afford roses but came up with red and green tissue paper that was on clearance from Christmas and made these. I loved them more than any roses you would have bought."

"The flowers at the store looked bad so I decided to make these instead. I knew Lizzie had some tissue paper in there. It wasn't because I couldn't afford flowers today, I just thought you deserved better."

"Nice save."

"I have a few."

"I know, steaks are done. Here's a vase for those flowers."

They carried the food to the table and lit the candles. They were sitting in the kitchen nook because she liked the informal feeling. The food was perfect and the conversation was light and fun. They didn't talk about the investigation or the Navy. They talked about plans, dreams, Hannah, Lizzie and their memories of Addy and Lucas. Before they realized it, the bottle of wine was empty and Christine was feeling a bit tipsy but she insisted on eating the ice cream. Mike made the ice cream sundaes and the conversation continued. Christine hated the kitchen being left dirty and so they quickly washed dishes. Mike ran up and got Snickers and brought her downstairs to use her litter pan and eat. The little kitten seemed to be looking for Hannah and kept meowing at Mike.

"I think she's missing Hannah."

"Probably. I'm going to text Grace and check on her before we go to bed."

"I figured you would. Lizzie too?"

"Absolutely. I know we had a kid free night after we renewed our vows but this is nice. Maybe because we're settled."

"Probably."

"I'll take the kitten up if you want to lock up?"

"Yep."

Christine made her way upstairs with the kitten. After getting her tucked away she headed for their bedroom. She turned the bed down and checked her phone. Both girls were fine and she told both Carol and Grace to call if there were any issues. Hannah still had coughing spells during the night and Lizzie would have nightmares from time to time. Mike came up behind her, pushed her hair out of the way and kissed her neck. They sit on the end of the bed and he took his boots off.

"Girls okay?"

"Yeah. I told them to call if there were any problems. Lizzie's nightmares and Hannah's coughing spells can be a little disconcerting."

"I'm pretty sure those two women can handle anything."

"They are pretty special."

"Mmm. You're more special."

"You are really trying to stack the brownie points aren't you? Nice dinner, candles, wine, chocolate, tissue flowers?"

"I would have gotten you actual flowers but they looked half dead."

"Well, I'd rather have the tissue paper flowers anytime."

"I will keep that in mind."

"Definitely do. Better than a dozen roses any day of the week."

"I need to replace Lizzie's tissue paper supply. It took a few sheets to remember how to do them."

"She won't mind when she sees them, maybe even make her one."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I think it's a good idea. She's just figuring out what it's like to have a dad. It would be a sweet gesture. We need to do some serious Christmas shopping."

"I know. Maybe if we can get out of bed in the morning, we can go before we pick Hannah up."

"I'm setting the alarm. You must be planning on sleeping."

"Not so much but only if you want to?"

"Absolutely. The tissue paper flowers did me in."

"I'll buy stock in a tissue paper company."

"Mmm. Good idea. I'd better figure out which one of those nightgowns still fit me. Carol and Grace want to take me shopping next week."

"Shopping sounds like a plan. I don't care about a nightgown."

"Okay. Well, help me with the skirt."

"Yes, ma'am."


	21. Chapter 21

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 21

Mike got up before the alarm clock went off and made Christine an omelet and bacon for breakfast in bed. He put one of the tissue flowers on the tray with a cup of coffee for her and headed back upstairs. He managed to get back in the bedroom just as the alarm went off. Christine sit up with the sheet pulled to her chest, looking disoriented and he sat the tray down in front of her and gave her a slow kiss.

"Mmm, breakfast in bed?"

"Yeah. Not as good as yours but I thought you might like an omelet."

"It looks delicious. Tastes good too. And one of the flowers too?"

"Mmm Hmm. If I had realized the payoff for making those little flowers I would have kept making them for you all these years."

"Last night was amazing and a lot of fun. I felt like a newlywed again."

"You were amazing. Or are."

"Nice save there. I need to take a shower."

"We can both take one to save time."

"And conserve water, right?"

"Yep."

"I wonder how the girls are?"

"Let's wait until at least seven before we message them. Gives us time for that shower."

"Did you hear my phone or the house phone?"

"Nope but you had me pretty distracted all night."

"Likewise. Can you hand me my robe?"

"Sure." Mike set the food tray on the dresser and grabbed her robe, all too happy to help her into it. The big fluffy robe was not necessarily sexy but Mike didn't care. They almost didn't make it to the shower until Christine reminded him that they had a schedule to keep and Mike wanted that Christmas to be special for the girls. They quickly took a shower and got ready for the day. Christine was doing her hair while Mike shaved.

"So, what are you thinking for the girls for presents?"

"I don't know. I honestly think Lizzie is going to love the traditions more than presents."

"I can't understand never having a Christmas present though. As a mother, it just disturbs me."

"I want her to have a great Christmas because of that. I don't think it'll really matter what we get her. What's bothering me is it's the first Christmas without Addy. It isn't with Lucas but in years past, I just ignored the day."

"It'll be hard, but we will get through it together. And one of the ways we will get through it is not ignoring it and concentrating on Hannah and Lizzie."

"Yeah. I'm looking forward to it because of Lizzie and Hannah but I'm also scared too. I want to be able to buy Addy and Lucas a present but I can't."

"Says who? If it helps you cope, then buy the present. This first Christmas is kind of a hump day for both of us and we get to choose how we cope with it. Like you, I tried to ignore last Christmas and I hate that now because it was Addy's last Christmas. I wish I had known that then but it's done. So we buy that Christmas present for her and keep it back because she didn't have one last year. I think it's a good idea."

"You okay? You concentrate so hard on me going through a grieving process but you are too. Addy and Lucas were your kids too."

"And that is why it's important we lean on one another. There are days that you won't be as strong but I will be, and other days where I'm having a rough time and you have to be the strong one."

"And what happens on the days that we are both having a rough time?"

"We lean on each other and the girls. Fake it 'til we make it."

"You know, years ago, you said that you were happy that I was the one that you were getting to share the parenthood experience with. As much as I hate this grieving process, I'm glad I'm experiencing it with you."

"Likewise. I wish I had known then what we would have to face but it's probably a good thing we didn't."

"Probably. I'd better go check on Snickers."

"I'll be ready soon."

"No rush. How are the girls?"

"Lizzie's still asleep and Hannah's excited about church. That is probably something we should look into. Might do us all some good."

"Probably. Shades of your dad coming through there but your right."

"I'll talk to Grace about their church, see what Hannah thought."

"Sounds like a plan. I had better go back to my pet sitting duties."

"Yep."

Mike kissed Christine again and went and got Snickers. The poor kitten did not like not having her person around at all. If she wasn't so small, Mike would just let wonder but it was better to leave her in her carrier when they weren't home. He treated her to a bowl of warm milk but the kitten kept looking for Hannah.

"I know, Snickers. I miss our girl too. She'll be back tonight. She's having fun." He heard Christine chuckling behind him and he turned around and shrugged his shoulders at her. "Last night was amazing but I am missing the girls. Sorry."

"Don't be. I am too. It's why I love experiencing parenthood with you. You love our kids so much. I can't wait to see you with a baby again."

"Two more months and we can start trying."

"Yep. Carol told me she would be more comfortable if I weighed about one twenty before I got pregnant and then handed me a cookie."

"So, twenty five more pounds? Two months?"

"Yeah. I say we still start trying rather I weigh that much. Of course, that is all if we get pregnant right off."

"At the rate we went last night, I can't imagine we'll have much trouble. Just do what we did with Lucas and relax."

"Carol has said that not to think of it as trying for a baby and to just enjoy. Not to stress."

"So she's saying we can do that as much possible?"

"Once we get the all clear, yes."

"I wish we had had her as a doctor, when we were trying for Lucas. That doctor made it feel like a personal failure."

"I hated that doctor. She was horrible. She wanted us to start IVF after the first three months. She didn't want to understand that we didn't really try for either Addy or Hannah."

"I think that's why having them was so easy. We just had fun and nine months later, we had a beautiful baby. And it worked with Lucas when we just relaxed."

"Yeah and the 'Mommy and Daddy weekend' helped."

"When we went to Ana Maria Island? I was stationed in Florida then. He was conceived then?"

"Yeah. Remember, there was a hurricane that weekend but we didn't care. I don't think we even had electricity."

"Didn't need electricity for what we did. And it was successful considering that we had Lucas."

"Yep. Snickers just fell asleep in her milk bowl. I'm taking a picture and sending it to Grace to show Hannah. Just so she knows you took care of her."

"Okay." Christine took the picture and sent it to Grace while Mike was fiddling with his phone. He looked like he was in deep thought.

"What are you doing?"

"Sixteen hours is how long it would take us to go to Ana Maria Island. It's a bit far for a 'Mommy and Daddy weekend.'"

"Maybe somewhere a little closer. I'm fine with here."

"I want something nicer for you though when we start trying."

"Not necessary. I love it here too. It was sweet that you looked it up though. Take Snickers up and we'll be ready to go. I told Grace we'd get Hannah at three. It gives us time to do our shopping and then run the stuff home and then back to St. Louis, if we get moving now."

"Yes, ma'am."

Mike took the kitten up to her carrier and settled her in. She was purring happily. Christine was waiting in her coat by the door with his coat on her arm. She had always been good at keeping him on schedule.

"Ready to go? Here's your coat." She helped him into it and they headed out to the truck. She had already gone out and started it and he opened her door and helped her in.

The drive into St. Louis was fairly quiet because Christine was trying to figure out what to get Lizzie. The young girl didn't express many interests. She had shown that she loved crafts and drawing. She also had a talent for painting. She was also a typical teenager that loved clothes, make-up and hair stuff. Addy hadn't been much different. Hannah was fairly easy to shop for.

They found a mall that had everything they needed. It took a couple hours but the girls would be very spoiled. Mike got Lizzie a locket that had "Daddy's Girl" inscribed on it and a charm bracelet with a charm that said "Baby girl" on it. Christine knew that the girls would treasure the very special gifts for the rest of their lives. He tried to get her to pick out something for herself but she told him she didn't care about presents for herself. She wanted the girls to have a special day but she also knew Mike would insist that she had a present to open too. She also wanted something for him too. They bought Lucas a football and got Addy a nice leather bound journal. It seemed odd because the gifts would just sit in the closet but it was also cathartic to buy them.

"So what do you want for Christmas? You keep asking me and we've gotten all this stuff for the girls."

"I have you girls. That's all I want…or at least that I can have." They had sat down to eat lunch at a small diner next to the mall. Christine reached across the table and took Mike's hand. She knew he was thinking about Lucas and Addy. It was the one thing they both wanted but couldn't have.

The waitress brought their food and they quickly ate so they could run their many presents back to the house before picking their girls up. Christine decided to see if Grace or Carol would help her with a present for Mike. She would get a double picture frame and have one of them take a picture of her with the girls and on the other side of the frame, put one of their family pictures from before Addy and Lucas had died in it. It would be something Mike would love.

They ran the presents out to the house and hid them in their closet and under the bed. Christine would have a mountain of giftwrapping to do and with helping Mike on his investigation, time would be a bit thinner. They got headed back out the door to get Hannah after Mike had checked on the kitten who was still looking for "their girl."

When they pulled up to the church, they were shocked to see how it was all set up. There were blow up castles, pony rides, face painting and junk food. Christine texted Grace to see where they were but then Mike seen Dylan. As soon as Mike and Christine got close, Sophie started reaching for Mike. He immediately took her and was given a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, Sophie. I'm the only man you're supposed to be kissing on. I feel cheated on!"

"Kit, Kit!"

"And that explains that! She thinks I have the kitten, Dylan."

"Right, well if you don't mind to can you watch her? I'll go find Grace and your daughter."

"Absolutely." Mike and Christine sat down at one of the tables and Christine handed a block to Sophie. She immediately took it and handed it to Mike like she was giving him a gift. It made Christine laugh. Mike had her sitting on the table in front of him and was playing "pass the block."

"I think Sophie has a bit of a crush on you."

"The feelings mutual. She's awfully cute. Course I am taken. Don't be too jealous."

"I won't be since your crush isn't quite two yet. She'll be heartbroken when she realizes it though."

"She won't for a few years."

"Her daddy might get jealous before then. Sure you want another boy?"

"I honestly don't mind either way. Nothing sweeter than a little girl."

"That's a given. I'm hoping for a boy though. Here's your other baby girl." Hannah came running up to them and jumped on the bench between Mike and Christine. She was winded and coughing. Grace followed her over to the table and Mike handed Sophie over while he rubbed Hannah's back. The toddler did not like that and immediately started fussing at him.

"She got a little overdone. She's played pretty hard. The bounce house did Hannah in. Does she have asthma?"

"She didn't before but she had a pretty bad upper respiratory thing so maybe now. Mike, your little crush is a bit jealous."

"Daddy, can you hold me?" Mike immediately pulled Hannah onto his lap and she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her head on his shoulder. Sophie had dissolved into tears until her own dad walked back up. She more or less repeated the same action that Hannah was doing and both girls quickly fell asleep. Grace and Dylan's other kids were playing and could care less about the adults.

"So, Mike, Christine told us what you were doing. Carol has got several people lined up to organize that mess. One of us will go with you when you do the interviews. Comfort the victims and such. On days that Christine is with you, we will look after the girls."

"I…I don't know what to say. There's hundreds…thousands of files. It's overwhelming what you all want to do."

"It's not what we want to do. It's what we are going to do. We will be there at nine am tomorrow. Give me the address and don't be late. I'll pick the girls up and take them for the day. Carol has a computer programmer who is going to set up a database for you. We will organize the files into a numeric filing system. Essentially the cases will be assigned numbers. I realize you don't want that but for you to psychologically get through this and stay married, you have to disassociate a bit."

"Not that I'm threatening divorce, Mike. But you need help. More help than I can give you. Accept it."

"I plan to. I'm just overwhelmed by all the help. Why are you all doing this?"

"Because you're doing a good thing and we like Christine. Mostly because we like Christine."

"Who doesn't?"

"Geez, Mike. We already watched Hannah one night. Are you vying for another kid free night?"

"Hannah was a joy by the way. We loved having her over. Maybe sometime you all can watch Sophie? We don't have any trouble finding a place for the other three but the last two sitters told us that she was a terror."

"Oh, we'll watch Sophie or any of the kids anytime. I think she has a crush on Mike."

"Well, now I'll tell you since you volunteered to watch her, she refuses to sleep in her own bed. She'll be in your bed."

"Dylan, you are not supposed to tell all of our parenting failures!"

Both Mike and Christine had to laugh. Lucas had refused to sleep in his own bed for the first three years of his life and so they both understood it. Hannah had woke up and was drinking Christine's water. They needed to go to Carol's for dinner but was enjoying visiting with Grace and Dylan. Mike finally gave Grace the address for the building where all the records were and they went on their way.

Carol's house was in an upscale neighborhood and they finally pulled in just before five. Hannah had another coughing fit so Mike carried her up the walk. The little girl was just done and they wouldn't be staying late. Christine rang the doorbell just as Hannah started coughing again. Thankfully Carol opened the door quickly and immediately let them in and led Mike to the couch in a formal living room. She had a concerned look on her face and had pulled a stethoscope out of her medical kit which was by the door. Carol unbuttoned Hannah's blouse and listened to her heart and both lungs.

"I think we need to look into getting her an inhaler. Did she get overheated today?"

"Probably, she was in a bounce house, playing pretty hard."

"I'll talk to her pediatrician tomorrow. See what she thinks. I think she'll be okay tonight as long as she takes it easy."

"Daddy, Mommy? Can I sleep in your room tonight? I slept in Claire's last night and it was fun but I missed you all."

"Sure."

"That's probably a good idea. I have some oils that I will send with you all. They'll help. Hannah, I have an ice cream cake for dessert."

"Yummy!"

"Let's go in the kitchen. Girls!"

The house was a showplace but was also lived in. Mike and Christine threw their coats and Hannah's on a hall tree and took their shoes off. Lizzie and Amy ran down the stairs and Lizzie stopped long enough to give them both a hug before heading to the kitchen. She was acting like a normal teenager and it was refreshing. Carol had the table set in the dining room. When Mike and Christine walked into the kitchen, a tall gray haired man greeted them.

"Hi, I'm Peter, Carol's husband. You must be Mike and Christine. Carol and Hannah are setting the table. Nice to meet you all."

"Nice to meet you too. Anything we can do?"

"Just make yourself at home." Carol and Hannah came back in and they all carried dishes back into the nice dining room. Peter was quiet and seemed to be Carol's opposite. Hannah sit in between Mike and Christine and the two older girls sit at the end of the table, having their own conversation.

"So, Mike, Carol tells me you're in the Navy?"

"Yes."

"I put myself through law school serving in the Army. It was…interesting. I was a Ranger."

"Ah. Thanks for your service."

"Thanks for yours too."

"My daddy was on the Nathan James, it's the ship that brought the cure back. He was the XO then but now he's a Captain." Hannah was obviously proud of her dad and Mike didn't have the heart to tell her not to tell people what he had done. All he could do was hope they didn't make a big deal of it. He wasn't as proud of it as his daughter was.

"I know and I bet you're really proud of him?" Peter nodded at Mike and Mike knew nothing would be said.

"Yeah. He got shot in Norfolk. His throat looks nasty. Doctor Carol, can you fix that?"

"Sorry, sweetie. I can't. But that scar will fade, I promise. It's only a couple weeks old."

"Oh. Daddy, does it still hurt?"

"No. It itches sometimes but that's normal."

"You've been shot before?"

"A few times."

"Oh. You can't get shot again. It scared me and Lizzie and Mommy was really scared too."

"I won't. Changing the subject, Grace told me what you had organized for the investigation, Carol. I truly appreciate it."

"Anything to help."

"Well, thank you."

The rest of the dinner, they talked about everything that didn't involve the Navy or the Nathan James. It was absolutely refreshing for Mike. He hadn't realized how much he had begun to resent his own service. He wasn't ready for retirement but he blamed the Navy for not being there when Lucas died, not preventing Addy from dying, Hannah's health and Christine's situation. Maybe the investigation and the change of assignment would help with that. It helped having friends that didn't care about what he had done and understood he didn't want to talk about it.

After dessert, they got Lizzie and Hannah packed up and headed home. Hannah was worn down and fell asleep in the truck. Lizzie had turned into a full blown teenager who kept focused on her phone, texting back and forth with Amy. Mike had even got an eye roll out of her. Typically he would have been infuriated, but he loved the fact that Lizzie was feeling comfortable enough to be a typical teenager. Christine had laughed at him and decided to see if she could distract Lizzie with Christmas plans and traditions.

"So, Lizzie, is there any special tradition that you had for Christmas?"

"No. It was just another day. I've never had a Christmas or birthday present, never had a dinner or anything. One thing we did do was I would take my brother and sister to midnight mass on Christmas Eve. We weren't Catholic but I always loved it. I'd like to go to church on Christmas Eve. It doesn't have to be for mass or anything. I don't understand all the church stuff but I think it's just beautiful."

"We can do that." Christine shared a look with Mike. It was heartbreakingly simple. It reminded Christine of her dad. She would ask Grace if their church was doing any sort of service on Christmas Eve. If not, she would find one that did. They got to their house and Mike carried Hannah in. He laid her on the couch and Lizzie went and got Snickers. The tiny kitten was laid on Hannah's chest and instantly started purring. Lizzie told Mike and Christine about what all that she had done at Carol's house and asked if she could have Amy out sometime. Mike and Christine were both thrilled that she was becoming a normal sixteen year old and she had already asked when she would be learning to drive.

Hannah woke up and they all headed to bed. Lizzie hugged both Mike and Christine before going to her own bedroom. Mike and Christine settled Hannah and the kitten in their bed and laid down on either side. As amazing as the night had been before; they had missed their kids. They both ended up on their sides with their arms around their sleeping ten year old. The kitten was lying on her stomach and was being very possessive of her.

"Mike, do you ever look at her and wonder how you and I created something so amazing?"

"I wonder it about myself but not you since you're so amazing. She looks and acts like you. I just provided the little swimmers."

"You're a mess. She has a few of your characteristics. Her mouth? Chin? That's all you. She's also so sweet and forgiving. Like you!"

"You too. And I'm not sure sweet is the right word to describe me. But Hannah definitely is."

"You have your moments. I think we can agree that Hannah is the best part of both of us. Addy and Lucas were too."

"She is amazing like her mother. I'm getting tired."

"We didn't sleep much last night. Well you didn't, every time I woke up you were awake."

"Enjoying my view. Although my view tonight is just as beautiful, just in a different way."

"You are really working on those brownie points. Are you banking them up or something?"

"Yeah, for my next screw up."

"Cute. We have a long day tomorrow. Better get to sleep."

"I love you for getting this ball rolling. I don't think I would get through any of this without you."

"I love you too. I am proud of you for doing it. We'll get you through it." Christine leaned over their sleeping daughter and gave Mike a kiss. They both fell asleep quickly with their arms around Hannah.


	22. Chapter 22

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 22

Mike opened the door to the huge room that had been turned into his office. There were four massive tables now; all stacked three feet deep with numerous files. There were also boxes of files on the floor and the there was an another table with a laptop set up on it. There were bookshelves along the walls but none of them had anything on them. He was overwhelmed just looking at it and was already starting to feel angry. However the women that had come in with him were just taking it in stride. Carol handed him a box and pointed at the desk. It had stickers with numbers on them. It would apparently be what would help set up the numeric filing system. Another woman, Lisa, who had a nasty looking slash type scar on her cheek and neck, headed for the laptop. She was a computer programmer.

"Are these files in any particular order, Mike?"

"No. And there have been more added since Friday."

"Okay. You might see if we can use that kitchenette that we passed walking in here. We are going to need a break area. Also, some office supplies? Pens, paper, paperclips, whatever you think."

"I will see what I can come up with."

"Alright, Carol, Mike?" They made their way to Lisa who was sitting at the desk, looking at the laptop. She had a spreadsheet pulled up and was getting it set up. "I think the easiest thing will be to start at 0001, which will be your first number. I will put the name, address and phone number. Once you've made contact, we will have a column for that date and if you need to pursue charges on the aggressor. I am going to convert this to an IPad so you can carry it with you. I will also create a folder with just the number; you can put pictures, statements, reports, whatever you need to in their individual folders. The number will be put on the folder and when you need to pull it, you just look up 0001, or whatever number. I also think it's a good idea to read through the files beforehand and whichever one of us has the experience in that…area, will go with you. If it's a medical issue, maybe Carol? Carol, you have a nurse on deck too, right?"

"Yep. She's working right now but she'll be able to help. She's semi-retired, only working as needed."

"What's special about this file, Mike? You have it sitting on the desk?"

"It's Adalyn Sloane's file. She's my Addy's exact age. Same birthdate. Looks like they could have been twins too. Goes by Addy. I…I need to make contact with her but I'm kind of dreading it. We can sit her's back."

Mike walked away and Carol opened the file. It would be one that Christine would have to help Mike with and it was a sad case. Adalyn had been orphaned by the Red Flu, and her uncle had sold her into the sex trade. She had a miscarriage and almost died from blood loss. She was in a foster home in St. Louis and her resemblance to the Slattery's oldest daughter was haunting. Carol decided to help Mike get his footing on some of the other cases before he handled Adalyn's. She would tell Christine because Adalyn's interview would be traumatic for both of them, simply because of her resemblance to their beloved daughter, the same nickname and birthdate. It was a gut punch for them.

The day was spent organizing the files and putting them in order of priority. Given that Adalyn Sloane was in a foster home and her uncle could claim guardianship of her at any point; she was on the top of the stack. She was going to have to be talked to sooner, rather than later. Carol had told Christine what was going on and it bothered her too.

"I suppose we should just pull the band aid off the wound. It's just been a month since Mike found out about our Addy. He's still…we both are…still in the grieving process. I've just had longer and had a chance to tell her goodbye. She died in her sleep but I was there. Mike was not. Not for her or Lucas. And he had a special relationship with Addy. He adores Hannah and Lizzie but he and Addy had a bond that was just beautiful. Every kid has a favorite parent and Addy's was her dad."

"Christine, it will be hard for both of you. I do think you need to be the one to go with Mike. More for his support than anything else."

"It will be hard. I'm worried about him."

"He'll end up okay. Losing a child, it's hellish. And you guys have it times two. Just know, it's okay to have a rough day, to not be okay. You have two beautiful daughters and with luck, you'll have another little one before next Christmas. Nothing will ever take the hurt away where Lucas and Addy is concerned and I hate that you have to confront this so soon. I've seen her picture and I saw Addy's picture at your house. The resemblance is startling. The same nickname and birthdate. I don't have Grace's faith but to me, there's a message here somewhere. I think this girl is supposed to be teaching you and Mike something. I don't know what but my gut is telling me, there is a reason for this pain that you'll go through. I agree that pulling the band aid off maybe good but I also think Mike needs to get his footing. A couple simple interviews before hers. You said what made him a good detective before was that he would get personally invested in his cases. He can't afford to do that with Adalyn Sloane. He needs to disassociate with her or he may sabotage her investigation."

"She deserves the best detective she can get. And Mike is best when he is vested."

"Not this time. This time, it could wreck him. But, maybe not."

"What?"

"This girl, she's in foster care. The fear is that her uncle who sold her into the sex trade will come back wanting custody. She's sixteen as you know. Maybe…"

"Are you suggesting that we take custody of her? We have just taken Lizzie in. Not to sound silly but we can't adopt every puppy in the pound."

"That's exactly what I am thinking. Adopt her. In the state of Missouri, for a family to adopt a child, they have to publicize in a newspaper two times…I think, essentially looking for the birth parents or guardians. This would get that girl out of the uncle's clutches."

"Bad idea. Look, I get that her uncle doesn't need her and in normal circumstances I might agree, but the name? The birthdate? The resemblance? My concern is that everyone…especially her, will think we are trying to replace our Addy with this Addy. We wouldn't be doing either of them a favor. We wouldn't be honoring our Addy's memory and we would end up hurting this Addy. We might trick ourselves into thinking it."

"What kind of a girl was your Addy?"

"She was amazing. She was sweet. She loved her younger brother and sister. Addy and Mike…it was a special bond. I can't explain it other than I had the same thing with my dad. Mike found himself as a dad. You've seen him with Lizzie and Hannah. I…I can't explain it. My fear is that if we did what you are suggesting, Mike will stop grieving for our daughter and will fixate on this girl. He will try and recreate the bond he had with our daughter with this girl. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, it does. What about you?"

"I convinced Mike to take Lizzie in. Not to replace Addy. She needed a home and a family. We've gave her that. I am not opposed to taking this Addy in. I just want it to be for the right reasons."

"For the same reason you took Lizzie in?"

"Yeah, but with this girl, how can we look at her every day, say her name and not think of our Addy? Would we be doing it for the wrong reasons because of the similarities?"

"That is something you and Mike would need to think about. Be prepared. If he makes the leap I did, it's going to come up. That's why I think you need to be going with him. He's a wee bit impulsive. He might just pack her up in the truck and not think about the logistical issues or the emotional backfire."

"That's Mike. I was always amazed we didn't end up with a house full of foster kids when he was a cop."

"He's a man that loves being a father. He loves being a husband too but as you said, he finds himself as a father. He's lost that with Addy and Lucas. Gained it back with Lizzie and is reestablishing his bond with Hannah."

"Yep. Once when he was a cop, he had an undercover case. He was in an alley, something to do with a drug case and he heard a baby crying in a dumpster. He broke cover to get that baby. I think his sergeant wanted to kill him. But it was cold and rainy. The baby wouldn't have lasted very long. Was just a couple hours old and was addicted to some drug. Somehow though Mike came out of it smelling like a rose. He somehow convinced the drug dealers that he was just a Good Samaritan. He had got the baby out of the dumpster and drove him to the hospital while the baby was in his lap. They were none the wiser and his Captain was kind of a softie for kids so Mike ended up with a commendation. He didn't care about that though."

"He made his arrest, saved the baby and got a commendation. What happened with the baby?"

"We had just had Addy. Money was tight. He wanted to bring him home but the baby would have special needs. Just couldn't do it. But wow, he wanted to. Every day, after work, he would go to the hospital for an hour or two and hold the baby. The nurses let him because those babies don't have the bonding time a baby like Addy had. When they found a couple who would adopt the baby despite his issues, Mike interviewed them. He visited the baby several times before he joined the Navy and the adoptive parents named the baby after him. Michael William Applegate."

"What an amazing story. Supportive wife too. You were okay with your husband visiting the baby at the hospital and after?"

"Oh, yeah. Mike puts on this tough façade but he's a big teddy bear. Especially where kids are concerned. I was student teaching, and he came in to do a presentation for my class. It was love at first sight for me. Watching him with my students, I fell head over heels. Thankfully he did too. We got married six months later. I knew I had found a special one. Most guys, they insist on sex before marriage, not Mike. He was willing to wait until we got married because it was important to me. He was this handsome young officer who was a typical bachelor. He had the girls hanging all over him but once we fell in love, he was all about me. And I am…was the same. I still feel terribly about what I did to keep myself and Hannah alive. I cheated on him, repeatedly and he calls it rape by duress."

"And you think he is using that term as coping mechanism?"

"Yes."

"When you had sex with those men, did you wish it was Mike?"

"Yes. At first it worked too. Later, not so much. He would have never hurt me like that."

"And now? When you and Mike are intimate, I bet you don't think of those men?"

"Oh, Lord, no. I concentrate on Mike."

"And it works?"

"Yeah. Mike is…Can we change the subject? Just know, I don't think about those men when I'm with Mike."

"You are beet red! It's hilarious. Seriously, it just tells me, you had to use your body to keep your daughter and yourself alive but your heart belonged to your husband and his coping mechanism is absolutely correct."

"Okay. I still don't think I will get past this. I choose to have sex with those men. Granted it was to save Hannah but I did it. I cheated on my husband. As far as this girl is concerned, my biggest concern is that Mike will stop his grieving process if we take this girl in. He needs to, has to go through this. For his own sanity."

"Agreed. Other than you didn't cheat on Mike. And someday I will convince you of that."

"Not happening. We'd better get back in there. We've taken a long break."

"You needed it"

"A little. I understand Mike being so overwhelmed."

They headed into the main room, Lisa was inputting the numbers and names onto the spreadsheet and various women were putting stickers on, and organizing the files. The room was slowly taking shape. Adalyn's file was still sitting on Mike's desk. Christine had to wonder if Carol was right. Mike had ran to get everyone lunch and as Lisa said, escape the estrogen. A few of the women were a little scared of him due to their experiences and it made Christine feel bad for them.

At four, Mike sent everyone home. They were willing to work around the clock but Mike didn't want any burn out. He would be starting the interviews the next day and had insisted on Adalyn Sloane's being the first one. They picked Lizzie and Hannah up from Grace's and Mike managed to put Sophie asleep for her long overdue nap. Carol had spoken with Hannah's pediatrician and she had called in a prescription for an inhaler. Mike ran in and got the prescription while the girls and Christine waited in the truck. The girls had overdone themselves and both fell asleep on the way home. Mike carried Hannah in and sit in the recliner with her while Christine and Lizzie started dinner.

They had a pretty quiet night and they all went to bed fairly quickly. Mike and Christine got Hannah tucked into her own bed but promised her she could come into their bed if she needed to. Mike was in bed with the laptop reviewing notes on the investigation. Most wives would be agitated but Christine understood it. She got ready for bed and weighted herself; she had gained two more pounds. She crawled in next to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Two more pounds. And still no blood in the sink."

"Awesome. Keep eating those cookies."

"So are we going to Adalyn Sloane's foster home first thing?"

"Yeah. I want to get that done with. This girl has been through hell."

"I looked at her file. It's heartbreaking."

"She had a miscarriage and almost bled to death. Her client dumped her at the hospital, literally. That's actually what saved her life."

"How old was she when she had the miscarriage?"

"Fifteen. Unreal."

"How is her foster home?"

"The woman is just collecting a check. Why?"

"Carol mentioned something today but it's crazy."

"What?"

"That we take her in."

"Oh…I don't know what to think about that."

"I'm not against it. I know how you are when you see a kid in trouble. You have a big heart. I didn't want you to get there and stop yourself because you didn't think we should."

"But…"

"My concern is that you will pack her up and bring her here. You and our Addy had a beautiful relationship and you've lost that. As weird as it seems, it was almost like she was your soulmate in a non-romantic way. I am afraid that you will stop grieving for our daughter because it hurts and fixate on this girl because of the similarities."

"This girl can't replace our girl. Just like when we took Lizzie in."

"Okay. As long as you keep that in mind, I support whatever you decide. I hate the fact that she isn't getting the love and support that she needs after being through that and suffering a miscarriage."

"I hadn't even thought along those lines. I was just dreading talking to her because of the similarities to our Addy."

"Well I will be there with you."

"It'll be rough."

"I know but it needs to be me."

"You're amazing. I love you."

"I love you too. Let's get some sleep before we end up with Hannah in here."

"She may sleep through the night in her bed?"

"I know her. She'll be in here with us at some point."

"We should be stricter with her."

"Remember which one of us is the disciplinarian. It's not you. Our kids have always had you wrapped."

"Just don't tell my secrets."

"That you're an amazing dad? People already know that."

"That I spoil my kids."

"You love them. And I love that about you."

"Well, they have an amazing mom too." Mike got up long enough to put the laptop in the bag and crawled back in bed. Christine immediately burrowed in on his chest and he shut the lights off. He stayed awake a little longer thinking about what Christine had said. He had truly not thought about taking Adalyn in but now he couldn't stop thinking about it. He was curious as to what would happen the next day.


	23. Chapter 23

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 23

Mike had called ahead to Adalyn Sloane's foster home and case worker to let them that he would be interviewing her and would have an "associate" with him to ease any discomfort that Adalyn might feel. The foster mom didn't care but the case worker did seem to care. She couldn't be there but told Mike that Adalyn was not in a good situation because the foster mom refused to take her to any counseling appointments. She also let him know that Adalyn was an amazing young woman who had an interesting sense of humor. The drive to the foster home was mostly quiet and Mike was actually thrilled it was Christine that was with him. The foster home was a ranch style home that was run down. Mike was pretty sure he could see inside the house in the holes around the windows. There was junk in the front yard and they could hear a kid screaming inside the house. Mike knocked on the door several times before a woman came to the door wearing her pajamas. She hadn't brushed her hair and had a bad smoker's cough.

"I'm Captain Mike Slattery and this is my wife, Christine. We're here to speak with Adalyn Sloane. I spoke with you and her case worker on the phone."

"Yeah, why did you call so early?"

"It was almost nine am. Can we come in and is there a quiet place we can speak with Adalyn?"

"I suppose you don't want the other kids with her? She watches them."

"No, it needs to just be the three of us. I can call her caseworker if need be?"

"Come in, you have an hour. You can talk to her in the bedroom." Christine put a hand on Mike's forearm. He was losing control quickly. The house was messy and smelled badly of cigarette smoke. The woman led them through the small house to a small room. There were two more kids, a baby and a two year old in the bedroom with a teenage girl. She truly could have been their daughter's twin. Even her smile was the same.

"Addy, give me Carter. These people are here to talk to you. You have an hour. My show is on then and I don't want to watch them. It's why you're here." The woman took the two kids out of the room but they both seemed more attached to Adalyn and were screaming for her. The room was crowded with a toddler sized bed, a twin sized bed and a crib. Mike sat on the desk chair, Christine sat on the toddler bed and Adalyn sat on the twin bed. As messy as the house was, the bedroom was immaculately clean.

"Miss Sloane, my name is Captain Mike Slattery and this is my wife, Christine. Did your caseworker explain what I am here for?"

"Yeah. She said that you wanted to know about what happened to me."

"I do. I know your foster mom said you only had an hour but take your time. I brought Christine so you wouldn't feel uncomfortable."

"Thanks. I've gotten used to people asking what happened to me. I guess we'd better get started. Joann will get mad if she has to take care of those babies."

"Are they foster kids too?"

"No. They are hers. She only took me in because she gets food stamps and a check for me. Free babysitting. I don't mind it too much. Those babies are really sweet."

"That's good of you. Let's get started. I can ask you questions, or you can tell me the story and if I have any questions later, I'll ask. Whatever works best for you?"

"I'll just tell the story. It's easier. My mom and dad died when the flu first started. My little brother too. My dad's brother, Greg, he was big into drugs. The social worker made him take custody of me and he got super mad. I costed him money that he didn't have for drugs. He took me to this guy. His street name was Big Sexy. I don't really know his real name. Traded me for drugs. He was a leader of a gang. He and all his homies made me have sex with them. When they felt I was all used up, they took me to the guy that was supplying those drugs. He was into prostitution. I didn't know what it was but he would make me see clients and have sex with them. Apparently I got pregnant but didn't know it. Nobody ever told me about that stuff. I went to one of the regular clients but before we did anything, I passed out. We were only a few blocks from a hospital and he drove me and dumped me in front of the doors to the ER. He did me a big favor because he didn't want to be blamed for something happening to me. The room was in his name and if they found a dead or sick girl in there, he would have been in trouble. Anyway, I bled a bunch and lost the baby I was carrying. I was like fourteen weeks along and honestly didn't know. I feel bad about that. If I had known, I would have gone to the doctor or something. The doctor realized I wasn't eighteen so they called a caseworker and that's how I ended up here."

"How old were you?"

"I was fourteen when I first started seeing clients. Fifteen when I lost the baby and got put in foster care."

"Can you tell me the name of the guy that turned you into prostitution?"

"I only knew his last name. Mr. White. I heard he moved to Virginia but who knows. He was scary." Christine's eyes had gone wide and Mike had dropped his pen on the floor. Adalyn didn't seem bothered and was picking at her nails. Christine got up and sat down next to her on the twin bed, and took her hand.

"Did Mr. White ever make you have sex with him?"

"Yeah, that was like part of the interview. He was really rough. I'd like to know if he's ever gonna show back up. He really scares me, more than my uncle even."

"I'll see what I can find out. Tell me about your uncle?"

"Oh, I have no idea where he is. I'm scared he'll show up here and take me and make me do the same stuff again. The caseworker said that short of someone adopting me, there is no way that they can stop him. And I can't see Joann doing that. I'll age out and be on the street, once Joann stops getting a check for me, she won't want me here."

"How are you since you had the miscarriage?" Christine was curious if Joann was taking Adalyn to her doctor's appointments.

"Uh…Okay I guess. Captain Slattery probably doesn't want to hear about that stuff."

"I need to know for my investigation. Just talk to Christine and ignore me if it makes you feel better."

"Okay. When I miscarried the doctor wanted me to come back for checkups because of scar tissue. Joann hasn't taken me and I bleed really badly when I have my period. It hurts really bad too. My caseworker can't force her and there are only so many foster homes. Have you had a miscarriage?"

"No. But I've had three babies. You need to go to those appointments. We'll talk to the caseworker."

"This isn't so bad. I don't want to have to see anymore clients."

"You won't. I'm going to step out and call your caseworker. See if we can make some other arrangements. Get you a better place to stay with people that will take you to those appointments. Chrissy? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"If you don't call her, I will."

"Alright, Adalyn. As someone who has been appointed by the President to investigate situations like what you've been in, I have the authority to take emergency custody of you if I feel that you are not in a safe environment. Due to your foster mother not taking you to your appointments and I'm sure, other issues, that is what I am doing. You are now in my custody."

"Okay. But what happens now? Where do I go?"

"I have an idea but I need to talk to your caseworker and get the all clear. What clothes you have, can you pack up? Stay in here and I'll come back in. Chrissy, do you mind helping?"

"Nope."

Mike walked out and told the foster mom that he had to make a call. He had already warned the caseworker that he might be taking custody of Adalyn and so she was prepared for his call. Her main concern was where to take Adalyn. Mike immediately told her that he would be taking her to his own home and that he and Christine would be filing for adoption. He took a deep breathe before he walked back into the house because the case worker would be calling Joann and he wanted to get Christine and Adalyn out quickly. As he walked back into the bedroom, Christine handed him a tote bag and told him that Adalyn was ready to go. There was hardly anything in the bag but he followed Christine's lead. If it was a matter of clothes, they would come up with something for her.

Joann thankfully didn't acknowledge them because she was watching her television show. Adalyn did lean over and kiss both the small kids who were in a playpen before Christine guided her out the door. The caseworker was going to do a wellbeing check on them and had already told Mike she would probably be taking them into custody as well. She pulled up as Mike was getting in the truck and came to the open window.

"I will need to do a check later this week. Make sure Adalyn is adjusting and happy. Here are her medical cards. Do you need a stipend for clothes and shoes?"

"No. We'll cover that. Do we have permission to get her to a doctor? She needs to be checked out."

"Yes. There is written consent. Let me know what you find out. Adalyn, you still have my number, right?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Alright. I think you'll be in a lot better situation with the Slattery's. I've checked them out and you'll be alright."

"Okay. So I'm going to a regular house and not a foster home?"

"Yes. They are going to be your foster parents for a while but it could be a permanent situation. They recently took in another girl who is your age and has had a similar experience as yours. They also have a ten year old of their own."

"Will I have to work?"

"No. You may have chores and such but not like with Joann."

"And Carter and Libby?"

"I am going to go see what I can do for them. Now that you aren't here, they will be neglected. But you can't be responsible for them. Captain and Mrs. Slattery are taking responsibility for you and I am taking responsibility for those two. Don't worry about it, I know that's hard but they'll be okay."

"Okay, will you let me know for sure?"

"Yep. Now, go enjoy yourself. And don't worry. Leave that for us adults."

"Okay."

The caseworker, Abigail nodded at Mike and Christine and handed Mike her card with her cellphone number written on it. A police car showed up and she and the officer headed inside. Mike was concerned for the kids and the caseworker but Christine tapped his arm.

"Mike, I just got a text from Carol. She has fit Adalyn in for a full exam. She needs it soon. I will go with her obviously, you split off. You will have to handle Lizzie and Hannah. This might be a little hard to explain. I texted Grace and she is ready for you and says she needs your magic touch with Sophie. I'll text you, Carol maybe able to give me and Adalyn a ride to the office. If not, I'll let you know."

"Okay. We are going to have to get you a vehicle."

"I don't know. I kind of love all this quality time with my husband."

"I don't have an answer to that. Addy…Adalyn, have you ate this morning?" Christine noticed Mike's slip and grabbed his hand and held it on the console.

"I normally go by Addy. And no. There wasn't enough food yesterday."

"When's the last time you ate?"

"Um…the day before yesterday. Breakfast."

"I'll grab you something first before your doctor's appointment. Breakfast sandwich okay?"

"Yeah."

Mike swung into a recently reopened fast food place and grabbed a couple breakfast sandwiches. Adalyn picked a sausage, egg and cheese combo. She was so quiet. The similarities to their Addy was unbelievable, the biggest difference was she had a pretty deep southern accent. She was eating and not really paying any attention to Mike or Christine.

"So, how should I handle the girls?"

"I…I honestly don't know. I didn't think through all this. Or sleeping arrangements."

"We can put her in the small room next to our room. When we have the baby, he or she will be with us for a while. Or, we can see how Lizzie would feel about sharing."

"I don't want to upset them too much. Lizzie loves having her space."

"Alright. Let's put her in the little room and we'll figure something out where a baby is concerned. We're here."

"Alright, I will let you know. Just be patient with the girls and let them know that it will not decrease our love for them."

"Okay. Good luck, Adalyn."

"Thanks."

Christine and Adalyn headed into the clinic and Mike headed to Grace's house. The girls were sitting in Grace's family room and Lizzie was trying to entertain a fussy Sophie. As soon as she saw Mike, she reached for him and Mike took her. Both girls were worried because he was there during the midday and without Christine.

"Girls, Mom is fine. You'll understand why she isn't here when I explain this."

"Okay."

"Alright, you both know that Mom and I were doing an interview on one of the girls that were in a situation like yours, Lizzie? Hannah, it was the girl I told you about the other morning."

"Did you help her, Daddy?"

"That's what I needed to talk to you girls about. The house she was living in was not a good place. She needed to go to the doctor for some…issues. The foster mom wouldn't take her. I didn't feel it was a good situation and so I took responsibility of her. I can do that as an investigator."

"Where is she going to live now?" Lizzie's forehead was wrinkled up. Mike wished he could read her thoughts since she would likely not voice them. He wanted her to feel comfortable voicing an opinion.

"Well, there aren't many foster homes and…"

"Dad, she should live at our house. We have plenty of room. She can share my room."

"Are you sure? Hannah, what do you think?"

"Daddy, that girl needs help and we can give it to her. I think it's a good idea. But since we have a new Addy, can we still have pictures of the old Addy?"

"Sweetie, your sister is not being replaced. Her name is actually Adalyn, but she does go by Addy. Mom and I are making a point to call her Adalyn. For us to think Adalyn is replacing Addy, we wouldn't be doing Adalyn any favors. Mom and I will always grieve for Addy and Lucas. A piece of our hearts is gone. Adalyn can't replace that piece but she can have her own piece of our hearts just as you and Lizzie do. Now I do need to warn you both of something, more so you, Hannah."

"What, Daddy?"

"Adalyn looks exactly like your sister. It's…strange how much. That is not the reason why we took her in. They also have the same birthday. Honestly, the only difference is that Adalyn has a southern accent. I promise that is not why we are taking her in though. I didn't want you to be…shocked or scared. Addy will always be my daughter and your sister. We will always love and miss her."

"But we can love new people too? Addy would want that and she would want us to help Adalyn."

"Okay, Hannah. Lizzie, what do you think?"

"I'm okay with it. I can help her."

"Yes, you can. If you feel okay doing it. Mom and I don't want to push you into something you're not ready for."

"Amy tells me that the only way I will feel better about what happened to me, is I help other people."

"That's true."

"Daddy, where's Mommy?"

"I'm sorry, I should have told you. Adalyn's case is a little more complicated because she was pregnant. She ended up losing the baby. The foster mom wouldn't take her to the doctor and she was having some…problems. Mom is with Doctor Johnson and Adalyn, seeing if Doctor Johnson can help her." Lizzie nodded at him but Hannah's forehead was all creased up. She didn't understand it and Mike didn't have the time to go into great detail with her.

"Daddy, where did the baby go? If she lost it, did someone take it? Will we need to take care of the baby too? Oh, I hope it's a boy!"

"Um…sweetie, sometimes things happen before a baby is born and the baby…dies inside the mommy's belly. That is what happened to Adalyn. Her baby died inside her and she didn't get all the care she needed to afterwards. Mommy and I, especially Mommy, are going to make sure she does."

"Is she sad like you and Mommy are about Addy and Lucas? They were your babies and you knew them. Adalyn didn't get a chance to know her baby."

"I suspect she is really sad too. She hasn't had much of a chance to be sad though. We'll help her with that too. She lost the baby before she really had a chance to know him or her. Mommy knew all about you before you were born, when you were in her belly."

"Daddy, she didn't lose the baby. It just went into her heart. And it's in heaven with Addy and Lucas. I bet their having fun with it. Can we name it? I don't like calling the baby it."

"That is true. If Adalyn wants to name the baby then she can. We don't know if the baby was a boy or girl though."

"Did Mommy know what I was before I was born?"

"This is getting complicated…Mommy had an ultrasound that showed us a picture of you but you wouldn't cooperate and she didn't find out what you were until you were born. Remember, I was deployed and wasn't there. I wish I was. But you know, Mommy somehow knew you were a girl all along. She didn't even have any boy names picked out. She was the same way with Addy and Lucas. She just…knew."

"I bet Adalyn knows if her baby was a boy or girl."

"She probably does and if she wants to name the baby, then she can. We won't push her though."

"Okay."

"Alright, I need to get going. I need to get a bed for Adalyn. Lizzie, if you don't feel comfortable with it, we can move her into the extra room? I know you've enjoyed having your own room."

"It's okay. I don't mind. It gets kind of lonely sometimes."

"Alright. Well, we will figure out a bedspread so that it will work with yours. I am going to go get the bed and then find out what your mom needs me to do. I'll be back here by the end of the day to get you girls. I love you both and I am really proud of you two." Mike kissed both girls on the forehead and laid Sophie on the couch beside Lizzie. She had passed out in his arms. The conversation went a lot better than he figured it would. Grace was waiting for him in her entryway.

"They handled that pretty well. I hope I explained the miscarriage thing enough that she won't be asking a lot of questions."

"I think she has a good grasp on it. She has a big heart and just wants to help people and hates to see people be sad. That will bother her more than anything else."

"They are both good girls. I am concerned about Hannah's reaction when she sees Adalyn. It's shocking."

"She may surprise you."

"Maybe, I'd better get going. Thanks for watching them. I will be back before supper."

"No hurry. I've had a miscarriage. It may take Christine and Adalyn a while at Carol's and she may need to get settled afterwards. She may have some pain."

"I'm sorry. I figured I would run them home and then come back in and get the girls."

"Whatever you need…or Dylan will be off at four and can run them home. If you need help with furniture, he can help."

"Thanks. I am just going to get a bed that matches Lizzie's. We'll handle décor later."

"Yep. Let her pick something out. See ya later."

"Thanks, I'll have Chrissy call you with what we're doing. Thanks so much for what you're doing."

"Thank you for what you're doing."

Mike went on his way; he called Andrea and found out which furniture store she had gotten Lizzie's bed at and what they were doing. He did neglect to tell her Adalyn's name or similarity to Addy. He wasn't quite ready to explain it because most of his friends would say that he was trying to replace his dead daughter. It was no one's business but his, Christine's and the girls.

Within a half hour he had bought all the necessary bedroom furniture and had it in the back of his truck. Christine called, needing picked up. Adalyn would need to go home. Christine told him to run by a store and buy a couple pillows, a set of sheets, a heating pad and a couple blankets. Adalyn was in pretty rough shape. By the time he got back to the clinic, Christine was waiting for him with Carol and Adalyn, who was in a wheelchair. He gently picked her up and lifted her into the truck, not even giving her the option of walking. Thankfully, she wasn't completely resistant. Carol was giving directions to Christine along with symptoms and what to worry about. He threw his coat over Adalyn and she quickly went to sleep. Christine finally got in the truck and looked back at Adalyn who seemed to be resting comfortably.

"They had to clean up some of the scar tissue. Carol's doing labs, but is sure she is okay. How are the girl's handling it?"

"Better than I expected. I did tell them about the miscarriage. Hannah has kind of fixated on that. Lizzie wants her to share her bedroom and wants to help her."

"Well alright then."

"Yeah, it's a little hard to explain Hannah's reaction. She asked if the baby had a name and such."

"She doesn't understand it. Bless her heart."

"No. She's worried about Adalyn being sad. She does know there is a big similarity with our Addy."

"I did explain to her why we kept calling her Adalyn and that she'll see pictures of her. She knows we aren't trying to replace Addy. She's pretty drugged up right now."

"Once we get home, we'll get her settled in the…living room? I'll get that bed set up. I got all the stuff you asked for. She doesn't have much in the way of clothes."

"No, she packed up a few clothes but she didn't have many. Most of what is in the bag is pictures of her parents and brother. She can wear what has gotten too snug on me until we get her some other stuff. We do need to get some Christmas shopping done…again."

"Yeah, I thought of that."

"I was shocked when she said White's name. Too much of a coincidence."

"It's crazy. I am going to have to do some checking to see how far his reach was."

"I don't remember him ever talking about this area. But then he didn't really talk much either."

"No, just beating and raping women and children. Kept him busy."

"Yeah. Here we are. Adalyn?"

"Mmm?"

"Adalyn, just sit tight. We're home. I am going to park close and I'll carry you inside. Couch okay until I get your bed set up?"

"Mmm-Hmm."

Mike gently carried Adalyn in and laid her down on the couch. Christine had handled a couple of the bags and Mike got the rest. Thankfully Lizzie's room was pretty large and could easily handle two double sized beds. He moved her bed further into the bedroom and started carrying in Adalyn's bed. Christine tried to help him but he didn't want her overdoing herself either. An hour later, he had the bed made with the electric blanket they used for Hannah from time to time. When he finally got done, Christine had Adalyn in the kitchen nook, eating some soup and a sandwich. She had a plate and bowl ready for him and he quickly ate.

"Alright, Adalyn. Your bed is set up. You can pick out a comforter later but for now, it's just basic blankets. Do you want to try the stairs yourself? Or you can stay down here?"

"I'll stay down here right now."

"Okay. Chrissy, I'm going to run back in and stop by the office and get the girls from Grace. Can you think of anything else you need?"

"Not at the moment. I think we'll skip group this week. Adalyn, can you think of anything you need?"

"No. Not right now."

"Alright. I'd better get going, ladies."

"I'll walk you out. Adalyn, there's an extra sandwich."

Mike rubbed Adalyn's shoulder and Christine and he headed out the door. He knew Christine wanted to talk about something and couldn't with Adalyn right there.

"I spoke a little out of turn, Mike."

"What about?"

"She is terrified of that uncle showing up. I already told her we're adopting her. Carol is going to speak to Peter to see what we need to do. I know we kind of talked about it but I sort of rushed it."  
"Oh, that's not a big deal. I would like to adopt Lizzie at the same time. I don't want her to feel left out."

"Okay, it worried me. I wasn't sure where you were on it."

"I'm right there. How do you feel about adopting Lizzie?"

"I want them both. Mike, I can't explain it but I want both of them. If we need to hold off on trying for a baby, we can but…"

"Nope. We'll have the baby too. No worries."

"I think you need a boy still. All this estrogen."

"I will be happy regardless. I love my girls. I'd better get going. Text me if you think of anything that you all need."

"Will do. I love you."

"I love you more."

They kissed and Mike left again. The drive to town was quiet and Mike ran into the office to gather notes for his interview the next day. The files were slowly being organized and it wasn't quite so overwhelming to walk in the room. Lisa was going with him the next day, giving Christine a chance to stay home with the girls and work on their school work. He called the victim and set up the appointment, alerted the President on what was going on with the investigations and that Christine and he were in the process of adopting Adalyn. There was still no hope of getting a partner or more help. It was disheartening at best. About four, he picked Lizzie and Hannah up from Grace and called Christine to make sure she had what she needed before he headed home. He was still worried about Hannah's reaction to Adalyn but would just handle it. The girls were excited about meeting Adalyn and he wanted to get to know her a little better.


	24. Chapter 24

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 24

Thankfully Hannah didn't make any remarks about Adalyn's resemblance to her dead sister or wanting to name the baby that Adalyn had lost. As soon as Hannah saw Adalyn she gave her a massive hug despite not knowing her. Lizzie stood back because she knew that Hannah meeting Adalyn might be painful for Hannah. She handled it like it was the most normal thing in the world. Christine had Adalyn lying on the couch when they got to the house and after talking to Adalyn for a couple minutes, she ran up to her bedroom and brought Snickers down and laid her on Adalyn's upper stomach above the heating pad.

"Here you go, Adalyn. They have me Snickers when I didn't feel good and she made me feel better. She loves to cuddle. Oh, do you like kitties?"

"Yes. I had one when I was your age. His name was Fergus. My dad named him."

"That's a funny name. I named Snickers after a candy bar."

"It's cute."

"You can borrow Snickers until you feel better. Mommy wants to get cows, horses, and chickens when it gets warmer. They won't be so good at cuddling."

"I had all that too. Baby calves and horses aren't bad to cuddle with. But kitties are better."

"Did you live on a farm?"

"Yes. My dad had dairy cows. We milked them twice a day. We also had pigs. Piglets are really cute."

"Is it true that they roll around in the mud and their own poop?"

"Yes. But so do horses and cattle. Pigs just do it more."

"Eww, yucky. You are going to sleep in Lizzie's room but if you change your mind and would rather stay in mine, we'll just have Daddy move your bed. My room is all in pink and Lizzie's is purple."

"I'll stay with Lizzie. You have a roommate with Snickers. But thank you!"

"Snickers only meows and your welcome."

Mike and Christine were standing in the kitchen, listening to the conversation. Lizzie was setting the table. They were all in amazement. Hannah didn't always adjust to new situations well and Mike and Christine were anticipating tears and meltdowns. Hannah had knelt down next to the couch beside Adalyn and was tucking the blanket in closer and fluffing the pillow. Hannah seemed to want to play nurse and Adalyn didn't seem to mind it. They seemed to be developing a special friendship. Hannah and Lizzie were close but Lizzie was still healing and leaning on Christine a lot. Adalyn had seemed to accept her situation and just go with the flow. Lizzie never had a normal family while Adalyn had.

Supper was pretty lighthearted because Hannah kept quizzing Adalyn about life on a farm. She had seemed to forgotten that Christine had grown up on a farm. Mike and Lizzie cleaned up the kitchen while Christine helped Adalyn with a shower. She was pretty unsteady from the pain medication and Mike had to carry her back down the stairs because the steam from the shower had made her dizzy and Christine didn't want to chance her falling down the stairs. Mike settled her onto the couch and Lizzie and Christine sit next to her. Mike took the recliner and Hannah settled next to Mike on the arm of the chair. They discussed Christmas plans and plans for Christine to homeschool Adalyn in addition to Lizzie and Hannah. The girls were all getting sleepy and Hannah had her head leaned onto Mike's shoulder and was drifting off. Mike and Christine finally got her tucked into bed with Ruffles. She was insistent that Adalyn take the kitten to bed with her. Mike got her settled while Christine settled the two older girls with instructions to wake them up if the girls needed anything. Mike had already given Lizzie a goodnight hug but wanted to give Adalyn some time to ease into a normal father daughter relationship with him despite having to carry her up and down the steps.

Mike locked the house up and shut lights off. Christine was getting ready for bed and so he checked on the girls. All three were sleeping soundly and Adalyn didn't appear to be in any pain. He got ready for bed and settled with the IPad, reading his notes for the next day. He had made a point not to look at them when the girls were around and once Christine settled next to him, he shut it off and pulled her onto his chest.

"A shirt and pajama pants?"

"Yeah, I figured if Adalyn came in, it was better to have some clothes on."

"Hmm. You're going to get hot especially with the t-shirt."

"Yeah but…"

"Mike, take the shirt off. You'll be miserable. Adalyn will be fine. She has to get used to our norm."

"Yes ma'am. Gladly. I don't suppose I could talk you into giving me one of those massages?"

"Sure. Back bothering you? Let me heat up some lotion." Christine found a bottle of lotion that was not perfumed and took into the bathroom to run it under the hot water. When she walked back in, Mike laid back down on his stomach and put his arms above his head. Given how tense the muscles were, he had to have been in pain. She felt something pop by his shoulder blade and heard him groan.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No. It feels better."

"Are you going to sleep like that?"

"No, just haven't worked up the gumption to roll over."

"Hopefully Adalyn feels better tomorrow. Carol said there was a lot of scar tissue."

"And that caused her issues?"

"Yeah. You handled all that talk like a champ."

"I'm in a house with four women and in an office filled with women. I have a feeling I'll be hearing far worse."

"Yep, you definitely need a boy."

"I will be happy as long as the baby is healthy and stays healthy. I think I'll try and turn over now."

"About time. I needed my pillow. These are too soft. Your chest is just perfect."

"Glad I can be of service."

"Oh, you do a lot more for me then just provide a pillow."

"What?"

"You provide a beautiful home for me and the girls, you help people, and you've forgiven me for cheating on you…"

"You didn't cheat. You were raped. Nothing to forgive you for."

"I am still trying to convince myself of that. You are amazingly supportive, a phenomenal dad, and an even better husband." Christine would have gone on but she heard Mike's breathing even out. She looked up and saw that his eyes were closed. He was exhausted and the investigations had an emotional toll on him. He was handling Adalyn's resemblance to Addy about as well as she was. It was not easy facing a girl who could be your dead daughter's identical twin. Adalyn's eyes were more of a hazel color where Addy's had been brown and Adalyn had dimples on her cheeks and chin. Their personalities were even fairly similar. Christine had seen pictures of Adalyn's parents and it was odd at best that Adalyn looked so similar to Addy. Addy had had Mike's lighter complexion and her eyes. She was a good combination of both Mike and Christine; Hannah resembled Christine while Lucas looked exactly like Mike, other than his eyes. All three kids had her brown eyes.

Christine drifted off and had slept for a couple hours when she heard Lizzie crying out. She worked herself out of Mike's arms and headed for her bedroom. The nightmares were rough on Lizzie. When she got to the bedroom, Adalyn had the reading lamp on and was trying to comfort Lizzie. Christine had gotten used to calming the upset girl and Lizzie immediately threw herself into Christine's arms. Lizzie never talked about the nightmares and normally cried herself into a fitful sleep. It just took time. Adalyn was rubbing Lizzie's arm and was not saying anything.

It took another hour for Lizzie to settle down and asleep. It had been one of the rougher nightmares. Adalyn had laid back down after a half hour and had fallen asleep. The pain medicine was doing a number on her. After both girls fell asleep, Christine tucked them back in and shut the light off. Snickers had moved over to Lizzie's bed and was curled up next to her. Hannah was sound asleep in her own bed and so Christine headed back to the master room. Mike didn't typically wake up during Lizzie's nightmares and was still lying on his back. His eyes popped open when she crawled back into the bed and laid her head on his chest.

"Everything okay?"

"Lizzie had a nightmare. Took her an hour to get calmed down."

"You should have woke me up. I would have helped."

"I know but you need your rest. I can nap later if I need to, you can't."

"Yeah, I know. I do want you to take Saturday and go shopping like you'd planned. I'll be fine with the girls."

"You're the best. I do need to do a little more Christmas shopping for her and I need to make stockings for both Lizzie and Adalyn. I refuse to use Addy's for her. I know it would be the smart thing but I can't. We need to figure out what to do with Addy and Lucas' stockings."

"I wouldn't want you to use it. Maybe hang them up here on our fireplace?"

"That's an idea. Sorry, I just…can't let those stockings go. It probably isn't healthy."

"You made those stockings for Addy and Lucas' first Christmas. There is nothing wrong with holding onto them. I had to buy Christmas presents for them so I understand it. We'll hang them up in here if you want or downstairs if you want. We get to choose how we grieve for them."

"Do you think this will ever get better? Or is it because of it being the first Christmas since Addy died and the first one since I wasn't settled the last two? I have time to think about it and dwell on it?"

"I don't think it'll get better but we will get used to. The ache will always be there. As far as why it's bothering you so much, maybe it's because your settled and don't have to be worried about keeping yourself and Hannah alive. We will lean on each other and the girls and we will get through it."

"I am glad you are the one I am going through this with as much as I hate why we are going through this."

"Me too."

Christine leaned up and kissed Mike and burrowed in to his chest. He had wiped her tears and wrapped both arms around her. His breathing evened back out and he started snoring. Christine had trouble falling asleep because she was feeling badly about Addy's last Christmas not being a happy one. She had deserved a good Christmas. Christine was starting to understand Mike's enthusiasm concerning this Christmas being a happy one for the girls. Lizzie had never had a real Christmas and it had been years since Hannah and Adalyn had one. It was time despite the pain and guilt Christine was feeling.

About four, Hannah came in and was wheezing slightly. Christine gave her her inhaler and tucked her in between her and Mike. The inhaler seemed to relieve the wheezing and Hannah cuddled close to Mike. Christine wrapped her arms around both of them and snuggled close to Hannah. Mike had somehow managed to sleep through her coming in and the loud wheezes.

"Warm enough, sweetie?"

"Yeah. Daddy is really warm but his breathing sounds bad. Maybe we should give him my inhaler."

"He's just snoring. He's okay."

"He sounds loud."

"He's alright. I promise. Do you want to switch places so you don't have to hear it?"

"No, he's all warm too. It's okay. Lizzie makes the same noises too sometimes."

"Yeah, she does too."

"Mommy, I was thinking. Adalyn and Lizzie haven't had a good Christmas in a long time. If you and Daddy want to give them my presents so they have a good Christmas, I don't have to have any. But can we have Christmas breakfast like we used to? That's what I really want."

"You are an angel. We'll have breakfast and you all will have presents. Your daddy and I want you and the older girls to have a great day. But I think we definitely can do a big breakfast."

"That's what I really want."

"Okay. We can do that."

"I love you, Mommy."

"I love you too, sweetheart."

Hannah relaxed back onto Mike's shoulder and fell asleep quickly. Christine was touched by her thoughtfulness. Hannah had inherited Mike's generosity and it was incredibly sweet. She wanted their Christmas to be amazing. She finally fell back asleep with her arms wrapped around both Mike and Hannah.


	25. Chapter 25

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 25

Mike spent the rest of the week interviewing several of the victims. He was hearing more and more ties to Mr. White. All he could do was assure the women that he would not be resurfacing. That was the biggest fear. Carol, Lisa and another woman, Gretchen went with him and offered support to the various women. Mike handled comforting Christine and his daughters well enough but was not the best with strangers. He was thankful that he had someone to go with him.

Adalyn had adjusted well and was very outgoing. She was bright and helped Lizzie with her schoolwork. She had a happy disposition despite everything that she had been through and when her caseworker came out to check on her, she begged her to allow her to stay with the Slattery family. Peter was working with an adoption attorney to help both girls to legally become Mike and Christine's daughters. They were thrilled to be a part of a family and to just be loved.

On Saturday, Mike decided to take the girls Christmas shopping and out for the day while Christine did her own shopping. Grace had come out Friday and took a picture of Christine and the girls and she planned on getting Mike a double frame for one of their old family photos and the new one. Grace and Carol were both going with and Christine was looking forward to the adult time with other women. Mike dropped her off at Grace's after making sure she had the debit card and her cellphone.

"Buy whatever you need or want."

"I am going to get me the clothes I need and do some more Christmas shopping. Grace will bring me home when we're done. Here's Hannah's inhaler. Call me if there are any issues."

"Will do. Are you going to get stuff for the stockings for Lizzie and Adalyn?"

"Yep and I'm making those tonight."

"Okay. Well, have fun."

"Will do. Girls, have fun with Dad. Hannah, tell Daddy if you start not feeling well."

"I will, Mommy. Have fun!"

"I love you all." Christine reached over and kissed Mike's cheek and waved at the girls. They had gone back to playing a game on Mike's IPad and just nodded at her. Mike leaned forward and kissed her again. The week had been exhausting for him and he was still pretty overwhelmed by the investigation. He fell into bed every night absolutely exhausted. Christine had to massage his back several times and his muscles were tensed up. He refused to give up and she would be relieved when it was all finished.

"Have fun. Love you."

"Love you too. Call me if the girls need me?"

"Will do."

Christine headed into Grace's house where Carol was already there and waiting on her and Grace. Sophie had seen Mike's truck and was upset that he hadn't come in. Christine was tempted to just call him back but he needed the time with their girls and she needed adult time. Dylan finally got Sophie settled down and Grace kissed her husband and kids goodbye. Carol was driving them in her very nice SUV and was headed towards the same shopping mall that Mike and Christine had done their shopping at the week before.

"So, what are the plans today? "

"I need to do a little Christmas shopping for Adalyn and then clothes shopping for myself. I also need to go by a craft store for supplies for stockings for Lizzie and Adalyn and a double picture frame for Mike."

"Oh, I did get your picture printed out. It turned out really nice. Mike will love it. I just need to find something for Dylan. He likes the thermal wear from the athletic store. Its fire rated."

"Mike always took that stuff with him on deployment too. Course it wasn't regulation but he still managed."

"I am glad I don't have to worry about that stuff with Peter. I got him a new briefcase for Christmas."

"It's a blessing to not have to worry about your husband at his job constantly."

"It is. I was thrilled when Mike insisted he wouldn't be deploying again. I'm not sure how I would have handled it. I have gotten used to him being in danger but it wasn't until I was on the Nathan James that I realized, just how much. He's all scarred up now when he wasn't before."

"We need to get him through this investigation without too many emotional scars. He's handling the interviews well. The women are taking cues off his confidence and strength."

"He has been exhausted. He's practically fallen asleep as soon as he hits the bed every night this week."

"We need to get this done in the next seven weeks. Being that tired and stressed won't help his little swimmers. And it won't be enjoyable for you."

"I'm just worried about him. Last weekend when we had our night, he looked up a weekend getaway for when we start trying for a baby. We lived in Florida when we were trying for Lucas and went on a 'Mommy and Daddy weekend' to Ana Maria Island. Just so happened that there was a hurricane that weekend. No electricity but we didn't care."

"That is kind of romantic."

"Hey, Christine, do you have any plans for the weekend of Valentine's Day?"

"I have no idea, why?"

"It's Dylan and I's tenth anniversary and he wants to go away for the weekend without kids. It's going to be hard to find babysitters for all four kids on Valentine's weekend and we haven't been away since before Sophie was born…"

"We'll watch them. No problem."

"You sure, it's Valentine's Day…"

"Yep. Mike and I never did much for Valentine's Day."

"Yes, but that also falls about seven weeks from now?" Carol was pulling into the mall parking lot which was fairly busy.

"It'll be okay."

"We can watch your kids the weekend before or after and maybe you guys can get away."

"We can't go to Ana Maria Island. It's too far away."

"Lake of the Ozarks is nice. Just a couple hours from here."

"That's where Dylan and I are going. I can get you the numbers."

"Okay, hopefully the adoptions are finalized by then. Adalyn is so worried about her uncle showing back up."

"She begged her caseworker to stay with you and Mike. That should say something."

"Yeah, I can hope. She and Hannah have gotten really close and she's helping Lizzie a lot. She's a good girl."

"Has Hannah brought up naming the baby again?"

"She mentioned it to Adalyn. I don't think Adalyn is there yet. She didn't know she was pregnant and so when she lost the baby, her grieving process was a little different."

"She still needs to grieve for that baby though and sometimes it's easier to grieve for something if it has an identity. I miscarried several times and I named them all." Both Grace and Christine looked at Carol in surprise because she hadn't mentioned it before. Grace had miscarried a baby before she and Dylan had Liam and so she understood it somewhat. She put an arm around Carol and nodded. Christine felt like the odd one out because while she lost Addy and Lucas, she had never had a miscarriage. It was a different kind of grief.

"I'm sorry…I didn't know."

"It's okay. It's been five years since the last one. Peter and I finally just stopped trying."

"But, I knew you then. You didn't tell me?" Grace seemed to be grappling with the knowledge that Carol had miscarried so many times and she didn't know it.

"Oh, I didn't tell anyone. Peter knew. You were busy with the kids and you had just graduated from architecture school. Don't worry about it."

Grace and Christine exchanged a look. Carol wanted the subject dropped. They walked into the first store and immediately started picking things out for Adalyn. She was easy to shop for and would be just as spoiled as Lizzie and Hannah. Christine also found a couple new things for the other two girls. She found a frame she liked for Mike's pictures and supplies for the new stockings. She got stocking stuffers for all three girls and Mike and wrapping paper, tags, ribbons and tape. She and Grace both found thermal wear for Mike and Dylan. Mike would need it at the training facility and working on the farm. She got Mike gifts from the girls as well. Once there Christmas shopping was done, Carol mentioned finding lunch before starting shopping for Christine's clothes. They picked a steakhouse and Christine waited at the table while Grace and Carol got their salads. It gave her a chance to text Mike.

 _"Hey, babe. How are the girls? And Dad?"_

 _"We're good. I took them ice skating. They're having a blast."_

 _"Are you?"_

 _"Yeah. I'm going to round them up soon though. Hannah is getting winded and Adalyn is slowing down. Crowd is getting to Lizzie."_

 _"Okay. Well, I've got the Christmas shopping done including stocking stuffers. Just have to do my clothes shopping. I've already spent a fortune so I'll be careful. Only get what I need."_

 _"Get whatever you need or want. One request regarding the stocking stuffer for me?"_

 _"What's that?"_

 _"I loved it when you wrote the notes."_

 _"I can do that. Have you done your Christmas shopping?"_

 _"Yes. Girls were a big help. There are advantages to having teenage daughters."_

 _"You'll think that when your teaching them to drive. Carol and Grace just came back to the table. We're eating now. I love you."_

 _"Love you too. See you later."_

Carol and Grace came back to the table with their salads and Christine went and got hers. She would have been fine with a salad but Carol insisted that they both order lunch and dessert on her. Christine went for a steak sandwich, onion rings and a chocolate lava cake and Grace ordered a hamburger, fries and a peanut chocolate pie. Carol was eating a pasta dish and a strawberry milkshake.

"Carol, are you on a personal mission for both of us to gain weight? I am still losing weight from Sophie."

"You might as well enjoy yourselves…after you let me have a bite of your pie." Grace pushed the plate over for Carol to grab a piece of the pie and she also took a sample of Christine's cake.

"So where to now?"

"None of my clothes fit anymore. I don't want to buy too many since I'm still gaining weight and if I end up pregnant right off, I don't want to have to immediately buy maternity clothes."

"What clothes do you need?"

"A pair or two of jeans, a couple nice sweaters. Casual clothes, night clothes." She noticed the look of mischief on Carol's face and knew she was in for it.

"What type of night clothes?"

"Well, since our ten year old still sleeps in our bed two to three nights a week, nothing like you're thinking."

"You are going to need to get something just for Mike."

"I already finished Christmas shopping."

"Do you need bras and panties?"

"Yes. But I'm not sure shopping for those things with you two is a good idea."

"Grace, I bet she's the sort that wears plain white bras and panties."

"I have a few black bras and panties."

"All cotton, right?"

"Yes. Mike doesn't seem to mind it either."

"He doesn't mind it because he is a man. But there are so many different options that he'll love."

"You two are a mess. We don't talk about your bras and panties."

"You're our new person. We're fixated, plus we think you and Mike will have an adorable baby. I love babies and Dylan and I aren't having anymore. I'm banking on you and Mike to get my baby fix."

"I see, ulterior motives. We did always have pretty babies…but then I was biased too."

"What mother isn't? Has Mike voiced whether he wants a boy or girl?"

"He just wants the baby to be healthy. I want a boy for him. He would be happy with whatever."

"You guys need a boy."

"That's what I think. Watching Mike with Lucas was a lot of fun."

"I bet. Good dad."

"Great dad. He was over the moon when we had Lucas. Of course, he was just as thrilled with Addy and Hannah. It was just different."

"Dylan was different with the boys then he was with the girls. He was just as thrilled but the reaction is different. It's fun to watch. We were engaged when I had Alex and he was right there. It was awesome. And of course when Claire, Liam and Sophie were born, he was there."

"Mike was there with Addy and Lucas. Not Hannah. He met her when she was five months old. And of course, it was love at first sight for him."

"That had to be hard."

"It was hard for Mike. Hannah didn't take to him right off and she would scream anytime he was in the room. He was really upset. One day I had to go to the store and the kids had just gone down for their naps so I didn't want to wake Hannah up to go with me. I knew there was a chance she would wake up and realize Mike was there. I may have prolonged the shopping trip to see how she'd react. When I finally came home, Mike was in the bedroom with her and was holding her. He was having quite the conversation with her and Hannah was enthralled. I stood back because she needed to bond with him. I think when we were found and Hannah couldn't remember Mike, it scared him. Hannah was his only surviving child and he desperately wanted a relationship with her. It reminded him of when she was a baby."

"They have a very sweet relationship. His fears are understandable though."

"I think Hannah's reaction to him bothered him more than what I had done."

"Not what you did but what happened to you." Carol had snatched the check away from Christine and had given the waitress her card. She gave Christine a look that she had already figured out not to argue with her. Grace just laughed and threw the tip on the table. The waitress brought the card back and they left the restaurant. The first shop was a clothing store with most of everything that Christine needed and it fit within the budget she was determined to stick to.

Three pairs of jeans, two pairs of slacks, four sweaters, several pairs of yoga pants and sweatshirts later, Christine was almost done. She still needed the bras and panties and some sleep wear. It was hilarious shopping for those items with Grace and Carol.

"Come on, Christine, have some fun. You know you need edible underwear. What flavor would Mike prefer?"

"None. Not his thing."

"What is his thing?"

"He likes simple."

"What's the definition?"

"Those nightgowns. I don't want anything fancy either. Reminds me too much of that stuff that White would make me wear. I'm just glad that's not Mike's thing. He's just as happy with me wearing one of his t-shirts which I do a lot."

"Alright, maybe a nightgown or two?"

"Yeah and regular pajamas. Hannah is predictable on when she wants to sleep with us. And yes, I know co-sleeping is bad, Carol."

"Typically, it's not a good idea but you also have a child with breathing issues. I'm not saying a word."

"Mike and I can't deny her. She hasn't as much this week because Mike's snoring bugs her. He only snores when he's tired."

"That's hilarious. Sophie tried to stuff a Kleenex in Dylan's mouth. We can't say anything about co-sleeping. Sophie won't sleep in her bed and half the time Liam ends up with us."

"Lucas refused to sleep in his own bed for the first three years of his life. We would try and lay him down in there and he would start screaming as soon as we walked out of the room. His only concession was that he would sleep in Addy's bed with her. I can't tell you how many times I would find the two of them all cuddled up. I loved it."

"Liam will go to Alex sometimes. They share a room so it kind of makes sense."

"Mike's snoring seems to be what is slowing Hannah down."

"I hate when Peter snores."

"I actually missed it. And he doesn't always snore. Just when he's especially tired. If I let him sleep on his side he probably wouldn't but he makes a really good pillow."

"Dylan too."

"They're both muscular. I'm sending Peter to the gym."

"Mike works out to relieve stress. And I don't mind his stress relief."

"Dylan helps with training and so he likes the rookies to know how imperative it is that they stay in shape. And I don't mind it either."

"Peter is in shape, but not like them. Which is odd since he was an Army Ranger. But his law practice keeps him busy."

"Mike sure appreciated them not talking about him being in the Navy and what he did on the Nathan James. I think he needed a bit of a distance from it. He's burned out but won't admit it. He needed some friends that were not from the Navy."

"Do you think he'll retire?"

"I don't know. He won't until he finishes these investigations. Then he has a position at the training facility. Financially we could make it with his pension but he is the sort that has to be in some sort of public service."

"I'm sure we can find something for him to do."

"He's not ready for retirement yet. It won't bother me when he does though. Alright I have what I need."

"And we're proud of you; you even got printed and lacy bras. Mike will be a happy man."

"I don't need lingerie to keep him happy."

"In all honesty, most men don't need it."

"Agreed." Christine made her purchases. She had gotten the bras and panties, a couple night shirts, pajamas and two silkier nightgowns. She had bought plenty to get her by for a while. One their way out of the mall, Christine treated both women to coffee and pastries. They would take Grace home and then Carol would drive Christine home. They were having dinner at Christine's house the next day, Christmas Eve and then were going to church. Mike had invited Tom and his family, Sasha, Andrea, Jeter and the Green's out as well.

They took Grace home, got the new family picture, exchanged hugs with her and then Carol drove Christine home. Mike's truck was parked in the driveway and he met them to help carry in the bags up to the bedroom. Christine greeted him with a kiss. After a couple trips into the house with the many bags, Carol went on her way and Christine brought her large amount of laundry downstairs. Lizzie was cooking some sort of soup and cornbread and Adalyn and Hannah were lying on the couch. Adalyn had overdone it and was hurting a bit.

They ate their supper in the living room due to Adalyn not feeling well. All three girls were telling Christine about Mike skating and how funny it was. It would be a good family outing for them. Christine sit on the floor and made Adalyn and Lizzie's stockings. The girls seemed excited about the concept. Christine knew that it was communicating to them that they would both be a permanent fixture within their family and that meant a lot to both of them. After she was satisfied with them, Mike hung them up on the fireplace. The girls went to bed early. They all seemed exhausted, even Mike was worn out.

Christine took her laundry back upstairs and quickly wrapped Mike's gifts since he would be coming upstairs after he watched the news. She put the clothes away and started wrapping presents for the girls. She had gotten Adalyn a necklace that was inscribed with "I love you" from Mike. She didn't want her left out since the other two girls were both getting jewelry from him. The girls would be very spoiled. Mike finally came up just after Christine finished wrapping the presents and helped her move all of them to the floor of the walk in closet. He settled into bed while Christine took a shower. She opted for one of the new nightgowns and was excited to see what Mike's reaction would be. When she walked back into the bedroom, Mike was sound asleep and snoring away. She laughed and headed back to the closet to put on a regular pair of pajamas. He didn't even wake up when Christine shut the light off and put her head on his chest. The girls had worn him out completely.


	26. Chapter 26

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 26

Christine and Lizzie spent the day in the kitchen cooking for the dinner. They made several different dishes. The next day they would have a smaller family dinner. Lizzie was especially enthralled with the idea of being a part of the family traditions. The idea of having so many people over bothered her slightly but Mike assured her it was people she already knew. She would keep a low profile but promised to stay downstairs. Adalyn stayed on the couch with Hannah most of the day. Mike was sent to the grocery store twice. There was a ham in the oven, deviled eggs, chicken and noodles, mashed potatoes, potato casserole, rolls, creamed corn, green beans, salad, cranberries, several pies and cakes. Mike's mouth was watering throughout the day.

Carol, Peter and Amy came in about two, followed by Grace, Dylan and their family. Mike's friends from the Nathan James slowly filtered in and Lizzie became more and more nervous. Adalyn was also uncomfortable and Mike was beginning to wonder if inviting so many people was a good idea. Both girls were sitting on the couch with petrified looks. It was a huge parenting fail where Mike was concerned and he felt terribly. He stayed as close as he could so the girls felt better but it didn't help much. There were some shocked looks when Tom saw Adalyn and he could tell the resemblance to Addy was going to be discussed. Mike took Tom to the homeschool room so he could get it off his chest. He didn't want it brought up around Adalyn.

"That girl looks like Addy. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that she needed help and Christine agrees. She needs a home and family."

"Why you and Christine?"

"We have room."

"I think you are trying to replace Addy and that girl is taking advantage of that."

"I hope to God you never find this out for sure, but I can tell you if you ever do lose a child; there is no replacing them. It's not possible. Christine and I left all the plans and dreams we had for Lucas and Addy at that grave in Norfolk. There will be no graduations, proms, first days of college, teaching them how to drive, falling in love, getting married or having their own children. There is a stone with their names on it instead. What we do have is two young girls that desperately needed a home, love and a family. Christine and I are more than willing to do that for them. To give them a chance at all the stuff Addy and Lucas won't get to have. As far as Adalyn looking so much like Addy, she does but it is not the reason why we are adopting her. If anything it has given us pause. Do you honestly think it's easy to look at her every day? I've had to look past her appearance and see the young girl who lost her entire family, was sold into the sex trade by an uncle, miscarried a baby at fifteen, was put in a foster home that was not a good situation and most recently had a serious surgery to repair the damage from that miscarriage. Despite all that; she has the happiest disposition I've ever seen, is helping Lizzie with her school work and is amazing with Hannah. She begged her caseworker to stay with us. Is she taking advantage of our grief? No. If anything it puts her in a terrible position but she is exactly what my family needs. And yes, we are adopting her and Lizzie. Those girls deserve a family who will love them and protect them."

"Look, I'm sorry I brought it up but it's disconcerting."

"Oh, I know. Same nickname and birthdate too. Only difference is her accent, those eyes and the dimples."

"That's just freaky."

"I know. I'd better get back out there. Both the girls are having trouble with the crowd."

"Okay. Sorry again I brought it up."

"I figured you would. Just look past her appearance and see the amazing girl that Christine and I already love."

"It amazes me how quickly you both can love them. You've only had Lizzie a month and Adalyn, what a week?"

"Not even. It's as easy as breathing. No different than with Hannah too."

"And Hannah's adjusting?"

"She's completely accepting of everything. We figured she'd have issues but she hasn't."

Mike and Tom headed back into the living room. The girls were still on the couch but were still petrified. Mike sat next to Lizzie who looked like she was almost ready to jump out of her skin. Hannah had seemed to sense it and had sit Snickers on Lizzie's lap and went back to playing with the other kids. Mike put an arm around Lizzie and rubbed her back. She relaxed slightly and sort of leaned into Mike. Adalyn was on her other side but was talking to Kara and playing with Frankie and Sophie.

Christine put all the food on the kitchen island and everyone just served themselves. There were people sitting on the floor, in the dining room, in the kitchen nook and in the homeschool room. Mike stayed close to Lizzie and Adalyn to make them feel better and Christine understood what he was doing.

Everyone started leaving at just after four. Carol, Peter and Amy hung around to help clean up. Church was at seven and the girls went upstairs to get ready leaving Mike and Christine downstairs with Carol and Peter. Carol finally grabbed a manila envelope from her purse and handed them to Mike.

"What's this?"

"Well, we didn't get you all a present but this is sort of a gift. I'll let Peter explain."

"Myself and another attorney found a loophole concerning having to post publicly, looking for Adalyn's family. Given that it was her uncle that sold her into the situation she was in, she doesn't need to go back to family. They are adoption papers just waiting for signatures. The judge is asking to speak with both girls before she grants the adoptions and once that is done, you both will sign the papers in front of her and the girls will be your daughters legally. The appointment is at nine am Tuesday."

"Wow, I don't know what to say. This is incredible. Thank you." Christine was doing the talking since Mike was speechless. They had both been worried that they would be in for a legal battle for Adalyn.

"No thanks necessary. We'd better get out of your hair. See you Tuesday. I will be there for the meeting with the judge."

Mike and Christine both hugged Carol and Peter. Amy met them at the bottom of the stairs and was ready to go. They had plans for the evening and would not be at church. Both Mike and Christine were overwhelmed and speechless. They wished them a Merry Christmas and parted ways. Mike and Christine had to get ready pretty quickly. The girls were helping each other get ready and so Mike and Christine headed for their own room. Christine had laid their clothes out earlier and they quickly changed. Christine had opted for a smoky blue knee length dress. Mike had changed into his standard khakis and button down shirt. The only problem was her zipper.

"Mike, can you zip this?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"If I get to unzip it later?"

"Well, yes. Would I deny you that?"

"You never have."

"Don't fall asleep too soon. I had some plans last night with one of my new nightgowns but you fell asleep."

"You should have woke me up for that."

"You've been so tired. I just couldn't."

"Well, I will stay awake tonight. All zipped up. You look beautiful. I wonder if the girls are ready? "

"I'll check. Just remember you have two teenage daughters and a preteen. Getting out of the house on time is a thing of the past."

"Don't remind me."

Christine went and checked on the three girls. Adalyn and Lizzie were both ready and Lizzie had just finished curling Hannah's hair. She looked adorable in her sweater dress, leggings and boots. Christine put the kitten in her carrier and headed the girls downstairs before the girls decided to primp even more. Mike was at the door waiting on them. He had the truck heating up and helped Hannah into her coat while Christine put her own on and helped Adalyn and Lizzie.

The girls sang Christmas carols all the way to church and Lizzie had an absolutely beautiful singing voice. It surprised both Mike and Christine. Hannah had Mike's lack of musical talent and Adalyn had a decent voice. The girls finally got quiet about ten minutes before they got to the church. Christine decided to see what Adalyn's Christmas traditions were.

"Adalyn, did your family do anything in particular for Christmas. Lizzie and her brother and sister went to church, Mike and I and the kids always did a big breakfast on Christmas morning. What about yours?"

"We stayed in our pajamas all day and just relaxed. My mom always got us a new board game or puzzle and we'd do that."

"Well, I didn't get any new board games or puzzles but we have some we can play. I'll make a point to get a new one next year though. It sounds like a nice thing."

"I loved it."

Mike smiled over at Christine. It was odd how incorporating the girl's traditions into their own was so easy. It just made sense. They got to the church and found Grace, Dylan and their kids and sit down with them. Sophie immediately went to Mike when she saw him and stayed on his lap throughout the duration of the service.

It had been a couple years since Christine had been to church. It had been an everyday part of her childhood and she had stuck with it through adulthood. It had been hard to be active in church once Mike joined the Navy because of the frequent moves and being basically a single parent most of the year. When the pandemic hit, surviving and keeping the kids alive took up all of Christine's energy. Now, she felt extreme guilt for what happened with White. As far as she was concerned, she had committed adultery. Mike and God might be able to forgive her for it, but she would never forgive herself. It made her feel ashamed to even be in church. But the kids needed it and Mike seemed to be enjoying it as well. It made her wish her dad was still alive. He would have the perfect advice despite being ashamed of her.

After the service, they found a coffee shop that was still open. The kids were all hungry and it gave Christine a chance to visit with Grace. Dylan and Mike were talking about training and the older kids were looking after the younger ones.

"So what did you think of church? You seemed pretty deep in thought in there."

"It was nice."

"But?"

"It was important to Lizzie and she seemed to really enjoy it. That was what mattered."

"Well, you also grew up in church. It had to have been a walk down memory lane for you."

"Sort of."

"What's on your mind?"

"Look, my dad always said that we should forgive other people and that God would forgive us. What about forgiving myself?"

"For?"

"I committed adultery. Not once but dozens of times. Mike has forgiven it and I am sure God has too. But how do I get past that? How can I walk into church with that?"

"Exactly like you did tonight. As far as adultery, no. You had a choice to make. If you stuck to the high road, you would have lost your daughter. Not to mention the fact that you were under duress. Did your dad ever talk about God's plans?"

"Yes. Purposes and plans."

"Okay. Maybe it was His plan. It was a horrible thing you went through. But you kept your daughter alive, you have taken in two more girls and you and Mike seem to have a strong marriage. Maybe stronger than before?"

"We are communicating better."

"You both seem happy. Of course I didn't know you before but you seem like you're each other's friend. That's important. And then there is what Mike is doing for those women. It's mentally taxing and he is putting himself through hell but he is showing those women that not all men are like their aggressors and he may find justice for them. Its important work. I think you need to forgive yourself and stop seeing it as adultery because he doesn't. His opinion is what matters. Liam, do not squirt ketchup in your sister's hair!"

Christine burst out laughing because Grace had not even been looking at Liam. Her back was to him but she had seen his reflection in the window. The poor kid apparently thought his mom had eyes in the back of her head. Dylan jumped up and grabbed ketchup bottle from Liam, and Claire ran up to her mom and settled next to her. As normal, Grace had made several points. It was just something Christine would have to work on. They got the kids all collected and helped the waitress clean the messy tables. The ride home was quiet and the girls were dozing off and on. Christine planned on giving them Mike's gifts to them to open on Christmas Eve and make hot cocoa. She wanted to start a new tradition. She quietly told Mike the plan and he gave her a pained look.

"I didn't get Adalyn anything like I did the other two. I feel bad."

"I got you covered. Don't stress."

"Okay. What?"

"Just wait until she opens it."

"Alright. It does sound like a good plan as long as they stay awake. We are home. Girls?"

Getting them into the house was an adventure. Adalyn had overdone it and immediately hit the couch. Mike carried Hannah in and settled on the recliner with her and Lizzie got the hot cocoa for everyone while Christine ran up and got the gifts. The older two girls seemed shocked to be getting anything at all and once they opened the jewelry boxes they were both crying happy tears. Hannah had Christine put her charm bracelet on her and hugged Mike. She put the necklaces on Lizzie and Adalyn and got Hannah off Mike's lap so that they could give him a hug. Lizzie went upstairs after giving Mike a hug and Adalyn seemed like she was trying to occupy them. Lizzie finally reappeared with an envelope in her hand with Mike and Christine's name on it.

"We got you guys gifts but this is from me and Adalyn. We didn't buy it or anything. It's just a letter from the both of us to you guys. It's for Hannah too. We're going to go upstairs while you read it and get ready for bed."

Lizzie and Adalyn went upstairs to their room after giving Mike and Christine another hug. Hannah settled back on Mike's lap and Christine sit on the arm of the chair so they could all read it at the same time. Mike and Christine were both intrigued.

" _Mom, Dad and Hannah,_

 _The gift that you have given us means so much more than anything you could have bought for us. You have given us a family, home and love. Most people would have walked away but you didn't. You've let us keep our traditions and remember our own families all while incorporating us into your traditions._

 _It can't be easy to do what you've done and do it as gracefully as what you have. You are both still grieving for your son and daughter and you've made sure we both know we are not a replacement but an addition. That means so much, more than you could ever realize._

 _Hannah, it would have been easy for you to not want to share your amazing parents with us. You also did this with grace and welcomed us with open arms. You are such a sweet little sister to us and we both love you so much._

 _We love you,_

 _Lizzie and Adalyn"_

Mike, Christine and Hannah were all wiping tears. They hadn't told the girls about the meeting with the judge. They didn't want them to feel pressured. Hannah was starting to yawn and it was past her bedtime. Christine headed her for her bedroom to get ready for bed. Mike locked the house up and headed up. They still had to carry the many presents downstairs but he wanted to help get Hannah tucked in.

Hannah had her pajamas on and Christine was settling her down. Snickers was on the end of the bed and was purring loudly. She was excited for Christmas and Christine and Mike knew they would be woke up early to open presents. Lizzie and Adalyn came in to give Hannah a hug before bed and Mike and Christine decided to tell them about the meeting with the judge.

"So, you both know Mom and I were looking into adopting you. We had the process started but would have to publicize it before it could be finalized with Adalyn. Peter found some sort of loophole that we won't have to do that. The judge wants to meet with the two of you Tuesday at nine. She wants to make sure this is something you want. After that, all we have to do is sign the paperwork."

"We already had this set up before we read your letter which was amazing by the way. By Tuesday evening, you both will be legally ours. We already consider you our daughters. It'll just make it all legitimate. It'll make it to where your uncle can't come back and force you to do anything, Adalyn."

"Good. That has really worried me."

"We know it did. Of course, you girls have a choice in this."

"We want to be adopted by you guys. We love it here and we love you guys." Lizzie was nodding in agreement and Hannah was yawning. They all kissed her goodnight and Mike and Christine hugged and kissed both girls. They headed into their bedroom and Mike and Christine started carrying the presents down. He was getting them all stacked up under the tree while she put the stocking stuffers in. She had opted to keep Lucas and Addy's stockings in the master bedroom and Mike had put their presents in them. They would have three very excited girls when they woke up. Christine had put Mike's letter in his stocking along with some of his favorite candies, some cigars, pens and a notebook and a bottle of aftershave. It was almost midnight before they got everything situated and could go to bed. Despite their earlier plans, sleeping seemed to be a better option. Mike did unzip the dress but Christine changed into a regular pair of pajamas and they both fell asleep quickly.


	27. Chapter 27

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 27

Mike and Christine were sound asleep in each other's arms when all three girls jumped on their bed. It wasn't even five yet and the girls were bursting with energy. They knew it would be an early morning but four thirty was a bit excessive.

"C'mon, Dad! Mom! There are so many presents down there. I've never had a present, well until last night." Mike and Christine's eyes both popped open. Lizzie was almost bouncing up and down. Mike had never seen her so excited. Adalyn and Hannah were only slightly less excited. Both Mike and Christine exchanged a look and started getting out of bed. Lizzie was out of the room like a shot with Adalyn and Hannah following her closely. Christine threw her robe on and Mike found a t-shirt to go with his pajama pants.

"Hard to believe this is her first real Christmas."

"I know, we'll nap later. I'm excited to see her reactions to all her gifts."

"Lizzie will remember this Christmas for the rest of her life. I think that will mean more to her then anything else. Do you think they will wait long enough for us to drink some coffee?"

"I hope. Let's get down there before Lizzie strokes out."

Mike and Christine made their way down the stairs. The girls were sitting in the living room and were not so patiently waited. One of them had started coffee and there was just enough to get two cups out of it. With a grin at Mike, Christine slowly put her cream and sugar in the coffee, sampled it and put in a bit more sugar. All three girls were groaning and even Snickers was not amused with them.

"Daddy! Mommy! Hurry up!"

"Okay, okay! The presents are already separated. Hannah, yours is next to the couch. Adalyn, yours is next to the tree. Lizzie, yours is closest to the fireplace. Dad will get the stockings down."

Mike was anxious to see the reactions so he quickly handed the stockings over. All three girls dumped theirs out on the floor and made over every single item. Christine had put gloves, scarves, stocking caps, lip balms, little lotions and candies in them. Given Lizzie's reaction, you would have thought everything was coated in gold and diamonds. Adalyn and Hannah had both stopped going through their stockings to watch Lizzie with hers. It was amusing and heartbreaking at the same time. Mike and Christine hadn't touched their stockings or any of their gifts. It was a beautiful moment for all of them.

The girls finally started opening their gifts and were all thrilled. There were clothes, shoes, books, make up, hair items and craft supplies. They also had gotten Adalyn a bedspread to match Lizzie's and a few of her own things for their bedroom. Snickers was playing with all the wrapping paper and boxes and the living room was an absolute disaster but Mike and Christine didn't care. They hadn't even opened their own presents because they had started helping the girls with their gifts. Lizzie finally noticed and insisted that they open the packages. Christine had a new necklace, more clothes, some kitchen supplies and some home school items. Mike had gotten the thermal clothes, a new case for his IPad and the pictures in the double frame. Christine could tell that he loved it despite the tears in his eyes. The girls started carrying their presents upstairs after giving both Mike and Christine hugs. Christine went in to start breakfast and Mike came up behind her and hugged her.

"Thank you for the picture, I love it."

"I figured that you would. It was the closest I could come to giving you what you really wanted."

"The one thing that I want that I can't have. But what I have is pretty good too."

"If we had Lucas and Addy, we wouldn't have Lizzie and Adalyn. And God only knows where they would end up."

"Very true. So we have the tradeoff. Lucas and Addy are at peace and not in pain and Lizzie and Adalyn will have a good life. And we will have each other, Hannah will be alright and hopefully this time next year we will be celebrating a baby boy's first Christmas."

"So you're finally on board with the baby boy idea?"

"I'm fine with either but I felt like I was in a sea of pink earlier. And it will only get worse as Hannah gets older. They are all too old to talk into being a tomboy."

"True. You know, when you left for the Arctic, this is not the conversation I figured we'd be having. Having another baby was not on the radar."

"Yeah, I had never even thought about it. Now I am so excited for it."

"I just hope it's easy."

"Just a thought, but if we can't have one of our own, maybe adopting a baby?"

"Maybe. I want to try first though."

"Me too."

"You like the idea of the trying part."

"That's a given. Two months will go by so slow."

"I know but we can't stand the chance. Besides, Carol is pretty adamant about the weight thing."

"I do want you completely healthy."

"Eating like I have the last couple days, the weight won't be an issue. I just don't want to gain too much."

"Says the woman who doesn't even weigh a hundred pounds."

"Actually, I do. Exactly."

"Thank God. I am starting to get sick of people looking at me like I should be in jail for having a wife that looks like she is starving to death."

"If they only knew."

"Right but it's no one's business but ours. I've loved you at every weight you've even been."

"Remember with Addy. I gained seventy pounds and had so much trouble losing it. That first deployment, you were gone for what? Eight months? I worked my tail off. Lost all seventy pounds."

"I was so proud of you. It was hard and I knew it. I would have been perfectly happy regardless but I knew you weren't."

"I found a gym that had daycare for Addy and was there twice a day. There were days pushing her stroller was painful. I ate salads for what felt like three meals a day. I didn't think it had made any difference until two days before you were due home. I was trying to figure out what I was going to wear to the docks and nothing fit."

"Had it not been for Addy's stroller, I'm not sure I would have recognized either of you. She had grown like a weed and you were…are so beautiful."

"Good save there. The look on your face though. It was awesome."

"I was so happy to see you both. At the time I thought it was my hardest deployment but the one when you were pregnant with Hannah and then had her and then the one to the Arctic topped that."

"It was the first. You were terrified that Addy wouldn't remember you when you got back. She was so happy to see you."

"I still remember that little sailor outfit you had her in. She was adorable. And then when I got home after Hannah was born and she hated me. That was hard."

"She didn't hate you."

"She screamed anytime I came within ten feet of her. I didn't even try and hold her. And that is all I wanted."

"I know. Then I left her with you and went to the store. I took forever at the store because I thought that if I didn't give her any other choice; she would be forced to bond with you. And it worked."

"Sort of. She's still definitely a momma's girl."

"Hey, now. One out of three?"

"I think Lizzie and Adalyn are partial to you too."

"They love you too. Lizzie has never had a father figure in her life and Adalyn had her dad but that was years ago. They've been badly hurt by men. You are changing their opinion of men. Because of you, they may have a healthy, normal relationship at some point."

"In many years. I know how sixteen year old boys think. They are not what those girls need."

"Funny, you'll say the same thing when it's Hannah's turn."

"I'm the dad. I have the right."

"I was shocked how accepting my dad was of you. But then, you were the first guy I took home too. I had only had two boyfriends that had advanced to a second date before you and they didn't meet my dad."

"I went to church with you. I think that made the difference."

"True. Remember the weekend that you asked him for my hand? He told me later the reason he said yes was because you acted like sleeping on the couch was the most natural thing in the world. You didn't even argue it."

"Wouldn't have dreamed of it. The saying 'still waters run deep' really applied to your dad. When it came to you, he was no hold barred. My dad was great but I really learned how to be a dad from your dad."

"I have always thought that about your mom. My mom was awesome but your mom?"

"She was amazing."

"I remember your parents driving all night to get to our place in Chicago after my parents died. She told me that I needed a mother's love even more since I didn't have my own anymore and as my mother-in-love, it was her job."

"I had told them they didn't have to come to Chicago but she absolutely insisted. She was terrified to fly and so Dad had to drive her. He didn't argue with her."

"Well, he was a little partial to Addy. I think that was a deciding factor. He got to cuddle the baby while your mom cuddled me. You were kind of lost."

"Yeah. I was just kind of standing there. Once Addy was born, my dad was all about her. I was kind of the afterthought. I remember joking with him that if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have Addy."

"He had such a weird sense of humor too. I remember you saying that one day and after you walked away, he leans in and says 'Boy doesn't even realize he just donated the little swimmers. What, five minutes and he was done? You did all the work.' I thought I was going to have a heart attack and your mom slapped him with the kitchen towel."

"Oh, God. How embarrassing? You did at least tell him it was more than five minutes?"

"I was not prepared to talk about our sex life with your parents. That would have been so wrong on so many levels."

"Yeah, true. You cannot imagine having the sex talk with him. I was twelve or thirteen. He gave me a lot of misinformation."

"So that's where that comes from…"

"I learned by experience later."

"I remember that friend of mine, Angie? She begged me not to date you. Said you were a…and I quote, 'total man whore.'"

"Wow. I knew she didn't like me. I wouldn't date her is why."

"No, you dated her sister. Or was it even dating?"

"Not really. And her sister was not interested in anything else. She was only interested in what went on within the bedroom. I was afraid Angie was like her and was kind of worn out. Plus, I didn't want to mess with sisters. That can blow up big time."

"I remember at our wedding, Angie asked me how I was still wearing white since I was marrying you. She wouldn't believe that I could honestly wear white."

"I didn't mind waiting. It's been worth it."

"I was so nervous that night. It was not attractive at all but I kept vomiting because of the nerves. You were so patient."

"I felt bad for you. And I had no idea how to make it better for you."

"You did fine. Once the nerves passed, it was amazing. It made me feel bad that I had stalled things for so long."

"I was so worried about scaring you or hurting you. As active as I had been before you, it was like I had forgotten what to do."

"You didn't and you never have. I remember afterwards, you had fallen asleep and I stayed awake watching you. I remember thinking how lucky I was. You were the only man that I would ever love or want to be with. Of course at that point, I never imagined what would happen and that I wouldn't remain faithful."

"Yeah but even when things happened and you had to do what you did, you still wanted it to be me. That's how I've gotten past it. Had it not been for you, I wouldn't still have Hannah. I also have Lizzie and Adalyn. I wouldn't if it wasn't for you. I hate what happened to you and I am determined that you will only know love and gentleness from here on out. As far as being faithful, you were as far as I was concerned. This wasn't you hooking up with some random guy when I was out of town. You did what you did to keep our daughter alive. I still believe it was rape under duress. I will never think that you were unfaithful. Quite the opposite, actually."

"Mike, can I ask a question and you not get mad?"

"Of course."

"I was…not around for almost three years. I know you had pretty well given up hope that we were alive so did you ever…um…look elsewhere, I guess? I wouldn't blame you."

"No. I couldn't. Not until I knew for sure."

"There had to have been opportunities?"

"Sure. When we came back with the cure, women were throwing themselves at us. We became…celebrities, I guess. Tom and I were the public faces and it was embarrassing. Doctor Scott had been murdered and Tom was in a weird head space and still grieving for Darian. We both had women more or less propositioning us. First of all, I was still looking for you all and was determined to honor my vows and secondly, it would have been media fodder."

"I remember you telling me years ago that if something happened to you, you would want me to move on, to be happy again. If it had gone on for years, I would have wanted the same for you."

"The only way I could have moved on was if I knew for a fact that you were gone. The uncertainty was what bothered me. Not only where you were concerned, but also where the girls were concerned. I didn't know about Addy at that point. I couldn't move on and be happy again, knowing that you and the girls might be out there. I don't think I would have been truly happy again anyway. If I did move on, as much as I hate to say this, I think it would have ended up being about companionship and sex even. And it would have never been right or good enough because it wasn't you. It would have felt…cheap? I just couldn't. As far as losing hope, I didn't. There was still hope. I was just too much of a realist. The reality was that you were exposed when Lucas got sick because I knew that you would have not let him die without being there. And the state of that safe zone made me think you had left in a hurry which meant that you were probably exposed again. The logical part of my brain told me that you and the girls had died but my heart couldn't accept it."

"I'm glad. Not that you went through that but that you couldn't let us go. As far as the companionship and sex is concerned, I understand. I'm glad it didn't come to that but I would have wanted you to be happy."

"It would have never been right though. I would have ended up hating myself for it. All I wanted was you in my bed…that didn't come out right."

"I know what you mean."

"I wanted a lot more than that but if it came down to sex, I would have wanted you."

"Mike, don't worry about it. I understand what you're saying. I only wanted you the entire time."

"Okay. The way I made it sound, made it to where that where your value to me laid."

"I know better. Don't stress about it. You always make me feel special, not just when we have sex. Can you let the girls know breakfast is ready?"

"Yep. And there is no making you feel special because you are." Mike leaned down and gave Christine a kiss and headed upstairs. Christine had hated asking him if he had looked elsewhere but was glad he hadn't. She would have understood it but it hadn't shocked her that he hadn't been with anyone else. It honestly felt like a weight had been lifted off her.

Mike and the girls came downstairs and they quickly dug into the breakfast that she had made. Lizzie was still thrilled with everything and seemed to be soaking up the traditions. Hannah and Adalyn were equally as thrilled but seemed to be letting Lizzie bask in the moment. They had both experienced Christmas before and wanted Lizzie to enjoy her "first, real Christmas." It would stay implanted within Mike and Christine's memories as long as they lived.

They spent the rest of the day in the living room, watching movies and playing games. Adalyn and Mike ended up playing Monopoly for hours. He hadn't spent a lot of time with her and knew that the time playing the game was really a bonding time. They were both highly competitive and finally just gave up. As Mike and Adalyn were packing up the game, he decided to strike up a bit of a conversation with her.

"So, I know it wasn't the same as with your family, but I hope you have had a good Christmas?"

"Yeah, it's been great. I hope we can play board games more than just on Christmas though?"

"Absolutely."

"Good. I really enjoyed it. I didn't think you wanted to spend much time with me because of me looking so much like your daughter."

"I just haven't had the chance. We aren't adopting you because of how much you look like Addy. We're adopting you because we love you and want to give you a better life. And you're my daughter too. I love you as much as I love Hannah or Lizzie, and as much as I loved Addy. I am not here to replace your dad either. I know he will always have a very special place in your heart just as your mom and brother do. Christine and I want to stand in the gap. Provide you a home, love and a family. When you need someone to change your tire, take care of you when you don't feel well, pay for a wedding dress or babysit for you and your husband so you can go on a couple's weekend; we'll be there. We don't even expect for you to call us Mom and Dad."

"I appreciate that. More than you even realize. I figured when my family died, I would never have any of that. Would never have a place where I belonged or people that I belonged with. I have found that here."

"I'm glad. Has Hannah mentioned anything to you about naming the baby you lost?"

"Yeah. She mentioned it. I've been thinking about it a lot. I'm not there yet but I'm getting there."

"Don't let her or any of us to pressure you into it. You get to choose how you grieve. We are just along for the ride."

"I wasn't even sure if I was allowed to grieve for the baby. No one ever told me that it was okay. I know it's not good that I was only fifteen and pregnant. I honestly don't know what I would have done with a baby. I remember one of the nurses saying it was a good thing that I had lost it, that it was a blessing in disguise. Maybe that's true. I don't know. They told me that my due date would have been January 4th and I think the baby was a boy. I don't know that for a fact but I think it was."

"I bet the baby was a boy then. You are allowed to grieve anyway you want to or not at all. Despite being young, that baby was still yours, even if you didn't know about it yet. As soon as they told you, you developed a bond with him. I'm definitely not an expert because a mother's bond with her child is drastically different than a father's but I do know about losing a child. You get to dictate it and no one has a say. All we can do is support you. Given that the due date is coming up, you are likely going to be thinking about the baby a lot. I want you to come to me or Christine when you need someone to talk to. I have no idea what emotions you are likely to be feeling but they are likely to not be fun."

Adalyn nodded at him and he gave her a hug. She wasn't ready to talk about it in great detail. He would alert Christine because Adalyn was more likely to approach her for support. Adalyn had gone upstairs and Christine was fixing dinner. He quietly explained to her what Adalyn had told him and she agreed that she would be having some "blue days."

The rest of the day was spent eating and napping. Hannah ended up on Mike's lap in the recliner and Christine and the older girls fell asleep on the couch. For Mike, it was a perfect day. Lizzie and Adalyn were looking forward to their meeting with the judge. Adalyn especially wanted it over with so that her uncle couldn't get her. She was terrified of him. A finalized adoption would help with that a lot.


	28. Chapter 28

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 28

It was a bit of a process at the meeting with the judge. Both girls met with her, followed by the caseworker, Abigail. Then she met with Mike, Christine and Hannah. Judge Ellison was beyond thorough. Peter had the papers drawn up and the judge finally signed off on them. She told him that she wanted no chance of the uncle showing up and taking Adalyn. By late afternoon, the paperwork was all signed off on and Adalyn and Lizzie were legally Mike and Christine's daughters.

All three girls were exhausted and Christine had even yawned a few times so they went home. Mike carried Hannah in and settled on the recliner with her. Christine and the two older girls went upstairs and changed clothes. They all settled in on the couch in their pajamas. Mike was stuck in his suit because he refused to put Hannah down and she was still in her dress. She'd had a coughing fit on the way home and they always seemed to wear her down and scare her parents.

Mike had to go back to work the next day and Christine had a full week planned for the girl's homeschooling. They had leftovers for dinner and Mike and Hannah finally changed into their pajamas. It had been an exhausting day for all of them and the girls were in bed by nine pm with Mike and Christine not far behind them. Mike was in bed, reviewing notes for that week's investigations when Christine walked out in one of her new nightgowns. He hadn't looked up until she took the IPad out of his hands and sit it on the nightstand.

"Nice…very nice."

"Glad you approve."

"More than. I figured you were exhausted though."

"I am tired but I wanted to make use of one of these nightgowns before I gained too much weight to wear it."

"You look incredible. Come here." Christine laid next to Mike on the bed and they began kissing. He was slowly working the nightgown off and Christine remembered the door wasn't locked. Mike apparently thought of the same thing and quickly jumped up and locked the door. His pajama pants and her nightgown hit the floor at the same time and he got back in the bed with her.

An hour later, Christine was still awake. Mike had fallen asleep after they had made love. As usual it had been amazing but he had forgotten to put a condom on. He either hadn't noticed or didn't care. Normally she wouldn't either but her mind was in overdrive with all the possible ramifications. They hadn't waited the three months that all the doctors suggested. What if she had passed along something to Mike? It would destroy her if he got sick or if she got pregnant and passed something to the baby.

Christine finally fell asleep out of necessity. It was fitful though. She had been lucky and not had any nightmares of anything that had happened to her but now every dream she had was about Mike being sick. She would be calling Carol first thing. It was embarrassing and scary.

She finally got up and changed into regular pajamas at 5:30. Thankfully Mike had put his pajama pants back on before he went to sleep. Christine knew that Carol got up really early and so she texted her. She started breakfast and coffee. Within in about ten minutes, Carol texted her back.

 _"What's wrong?"_

 _"I screwed up big time."_

 _"How so?"_

 _"Mike and I had sex last night. We forgot the condom."_

 _"Okay. Not a huge deal."_

 _"But if I have something, I might have passed it to him."_

 _"You're not exhibiting any symptoms of anything, correct?"_

 _"No."_

 _"The girls have both tested okay and I looked over Rios' report on White. He didn't have anything. Don't stress."_

 _"Easier said than done."_

 _"Given. The worst thing that might have happened was that it might have sped up the baby making up. And that's a good thing."_

 _"Except I only weigh a hundred pounds."_

 _"And if you got pregnant, you'll gain. I would have preferred you wait but oh well. Just focus on the good. It was good right?"_

 _"Well, yes. It was great. Just like normal. He likes the blue nightgown by the way."_

 _"The blue looks good with your coloring. Next shopping trip maybe picking out maternity clothes."_

 _"If I got pregnant. It won't be that easy."_

 _"It might be. When was your last period?"_

 _"Less than two weeks ago. By looking at the calendar, I'm ovulating."_

 _"Okay. We just wait it out. And don't you stress."_

 _"Sorry for texting so early. I wasn't sleeping."_

 _"It's okay. I have been up all night, waiting on a baby to make his appearance. He's stubborn and mommas wore out. Just relax and don't worry."_

 _"I'll try."_

 _"Don't try, do. You'll be fine. In nine months, it maybe you and your baby that keeps me up all night."_

 _"If I got pregnant."_

 _"Did Mike do his part?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"Well, there is a good possibility."_

 _"Sure."_

 _"Have faith."_

 _"Okay. Well good luck with the baby. Thanks."_

 _"Your welcome. She's at a ten finally so it's go time."_

 _"Yep. Have fun."_

Christine finished breakfast up and the girls came downstairs and immediately dug in. Mike finally came down but was running late. Christine had a breakfast burrito wrapped in foil for him and his coffee in a go cup. He kissed all three girls on the top of their heads and headed for the door. Christine grabbed her jacket and followed him to the porch with his coffee and breakfast.

"You need this."

"Yeah, sorry. I slept in. I would have liked to eat with you girls."

"It's okay."

"Last night was amazing by the way. You were incredible."

"Likewise. But we kind of forgot something."

"Yeah. I realized that this morning. Don't worry about it."

"I could have given you something."

"I am sure you didn't. Don't worry."

"Well, there is one other thing."

"Hmm?"

"I'm also ovulating."

"It's been a few years so I'm having trouble remembering what all that means, but I think it means, the chances of you getting pregnant are higher, correct?"

"More or less."

"The only thing that worries me about that is that you still need to gain weight. Carol said at least one twenty five, correct?"

"Yeah. But if I did get pregnant, it may help me gain weight."

"Okay. Well, we'll know in a couple weeks."

"I'm scared, Mike. If I passed something to you…"

"I will be fine. Don't worry. I need to get going, but don't stress yourself. Concentrate on the girls and their schoolwork. Thanks for breakfast. I love you."

"I love you too. What time do you expect to be home?"

"I have an interview at three. I will have to drop Gretchen off at the office and will head home. By six, I would say."

"Okay. I'll have supper ready."

"You're amazing. Call if you need anything."

"I have an amazing husband. And will do."

Mike kissed Christine and headed to his truck. She watched him leave and then headed back inside. Christine ate her own breakfast, the girls cleaned up the kitchen and they settled into the homeschool room. The day was spent with the older girls helping each other and Hannah working with Christine on math. Carol texted Christine to let her know that she had delivered the baby and all was well.

Christine finally let the girls out of their lessons about three. Adalyn and Lizzie went upstairs to the craft room and Hannah cuddled up with the kitten on the couch with a book. Christine started supper and texted Mike to let him know what was they were eating and to check on him.

 _"Sounds good. I'll be home about 5:30ish. Victim was not in the mood to talk. Do you need anything from the store?"_

 _"Chocolate?"_

 _"Cravings already?"_

 _"I doubt that."_

 _"I've experienced three pregnancies with you. You crave chocolate from day one."_

 _"Don't get your hopes up."_

 _"I am. I will get your chocolate. Do the girls need anything?"_

Christine chuckled and asked Hannah. She was engrossed in her book and just shook her head no. Adalyn also told her no but Lizzie asked for ice cream. Christine texted Mike to tell him. He texted a thumbs up sign and she went back to cooking and decided to text Carol to joke about Mike's observation.

 _"Mike is convinced I got pregnant last night. I asked him to pick up chocolate from the store. He thinks I'm craving it because I craved chocolate throughout all three of my other pregnancies pretty much from day one."_

 _"It may be a good indicator although it is a bit early…less than twenty four hours later."_

 _"Yeah, no kidding. I am worried about Adalyn if I did get pregnant. January 4_ _th_ _would have been her due date. She let it slip to Mike last night. I've never had a miscarriage so I have no idea what she might experience."_

 _"It might be a rough day for her. My due dates were always rough. All the should be's and I wish's."_

 _"I bet. How do you deliver babies considering what you've been through?"_

 _"Because it's a joyous event. And when it's not and there is a miscarriage, I can really help the family. I'll be around on the 4_ _th_ _to help Adalyn. Maybe take her for lunch or something."_

 _"She told Mike she thought the baby was a boy but wasn't sure."_

 _"I bet it was a boy. I always knew."_

 _"Hannah told her she needs to name the baby. Adalyn isn't there yet."_

 _"She's talking about it though, which is good. I would say she will be naming that little one soon and will be finally grieving for her son. She knows she is safe to do that with you and Mike."_

 _"Are we really equipped to deal with it though?"_

 _"You've lost two children. I would say more so then anyone else."_

 _"Miscarriage is different though."_

 _"It is. That will be where Grace and I come in. We'll help her."_

 _"I appreciate that more than you'll ever realize."_

 _"We like helping. You and Mike are doing a lot."_

 _"Mike is. I'm enjoying being a stay at home mom right now."_

 _"Nothing wrong with that. I have another baby wanting to be born so…"_

 _"Have fun. Holler if you need anything."_

 _"Thanks."_

Christine finished supper and set the table. At a quarter until six, she heard Mike pull in. He walked in carrying several grocery bags and a bouquet of flowers. Christine indicated that Hannah was in the living room. Mike didn't always have a good filter when he didn't see one of the kids close by. He sat the bags down and handed her the flowers. She gave him a kiss and Hannah ran in and jumped into Mike's arms.

"How's my baby girl?"

"Good, Daddy. Did you get Mommy flowers? They're pretty."

"I did."

"That was nice of you. Is all this candy for her too? Did you make her sad or something?"

"No. I don't think so and I bet she'll share it if you eat all your supper."

"Mommy, did Daddy make me you sad? He bought you chocolate and flowers."

"Nope. I just wanted some chocolate and your daddy got all this stuff. And yes, if you eat your supper, I'll share. Can you run up and get your sisters?"

"Yep. Daddy, can you put me down? I want to eat supper. I want that chocolate bar."

"Yes, ma'am." Mike kissed Hannah's cheek and sat her back on the floor. She ran upstairs and they heard her talking to the two older girls, no doubt talking about all the chocolate downstairs. Christine put Lizzie's ice cream in the freezer and Mike carried the rest of the dishes to the small kitchen table in the nook. She put the flowers in a vase and sat them on the counter.

The girls came downstairs and they sat down and ate their supper. Christine loved their family dinners and loved that Mike made it home for them several times a week. They washed dishes up and cleaned the kitchen. Mike built a fire, Adalyn put a movie in and they all cuddled up on the couch together. It was the perfect night as far as Christine was concerned. The ice cream and a lot of the chocolate was devoured. The older girls finally went to bed about ten and Mike carried a sleeping Hannah to her bed. Thankfully she was already in her pajamas and Christine had the bed turned down. Between Mike and Christine they got Hannah and Snickers settled. Christine was exhausted and headed into for her shower while Mike locked everything up. She came back out wearing her pajamas. He was in bed looking at his IPad. When she laid down next to him, he put the IPad on the nightstand, kissed her and rubbed his hands on her stomach.

"Wishful thinking?"

"More like positive thinking. I would suggest that we boost the odds tonight but you're exhausted. Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Not much."

"We'll be fine. Get some sleep. Love you."

"I love you too. Can I sleep on your chest?"

Mike nodded and wrapped both arms around her. She put her head on his chest and he shut her bedside light off. She fell asleep quickly and Mike was not far behind her. They both slept best in each other's arms.


	29. Chapter 29

Alright, I've never had a miscarriage or pregnancy so I may be a bit off on some of this. Please take that into consideration. Enjoy and please review.

 **A Mother's Love**

Chapter 29

It was five am on the morning of January 4th and Christine had been awake most of the night, vomiting. She finally convinced Mike to go in and go to sleep. He had to work and was already worried sick about her. Adalyn was bound to have a rough day and Christine wanted to be at the top of her game for her. It was ironic that on the day that Adalyn would be grieving for her child on the day that he might have been born, Christine would be taking a pregnancy test. She had told Mike that it was just the flu but she knew better. She was only about two weeks along but it was a sure thing. Missed period, morning sickness for the three days and an insatiable craving for chocolate. She would wait a day or so before she told Mike. And telling the girls, especially Adalyn would be hard. The nausea finally let up and Christine got up off the bathroom floor and brushed her teeth. Mike was asleep and snoring. Instead of crawling back in bed with him, she checked on the girls. Adalyn was awake and staring off into space.

"Adalyn, let's go downstairs. We'll talk."

"Okay." Adalyn climbed out of bed and they headed downstairs. Once they got in the kitchen and Christine flipped the sink light on, she saw the tears on Adalyn's face. She didn't really have anything wise to say so she just pulled her into a hug. Adalyn laid her head against Christine's chest and just sobbed uncontrollably. Christine had a thousand things she could be doing but right now she just needed to be a mother. Nothing else mattered. She finally took her phone out of her robe pocket to text Carol.

 _"She's not handling today well."_

 _"I'll be there about eight. I can bring breakfast?"_

 _"Sure. Mike will be heading to work. I've been up all night."_

 _"With Adalyn?"_

 _"No. Sitting on my bathroom floor, puking my guts up. Do the math."_

 _"I'll bring a home pregnancy test with me."_

 _"Bring several. And please be discreet. Adalyn can't know that I'm pregnant today. Surely it wouldn't be as easy as a careless night?"_

 _"What other symptoms besides the vomiting?"_

 _"Missed my period, chocolate craving and I'm craving something else."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Mike. And I am texting this as I'm holding my sobbing daughter."_

 _"Too bad he has to work. I would offer to take all three girls out so you could deal with that craving. Was that normal with your other pregnancies?"_

 _"Yes! I always heard women didn't want to have sex when they were pregnant. Not me. It's ridiculous."_

 _"Its hormones."_

 _"Is there a pill I can take? This is embarrassing and he hasn't figured out what's going on."_

 _"But I bet he enjoys it. And no pill."_

 _"It's just wrong."_

 _"No, it's healthy. And since you'll be having a summer baby, enjoy it while it lasts because by the time May gets here, you'll be so miserable that you won't want Mike within a foot of you."_

 _"During the other pregnancies, I never got to that point."_

 _"This is fascinating."_

 _"You're supposed to tell me that I have something wrong with me."_

 _"Just that you really love your husband and there is nothing wrong with that. It also shows that you are moving past what happened to you."_

 _"What about Adalyn. She can't know this."_

 _"You and Mike love each other, and you planned this baby. Maybe not so soon but it's nothing to be ashamed of. As far as Adalyn is concerned, she may react better than you figure. She knows that she would not have been ready for a baby and all that it entails. On the other hand, you and Mike are prepared for a baby. You know what it entails. I think she'll be over the moon happy for you. I agree with not telling her today but also don't lie about it. She needs to know soon. Besides with you vomiting like that; it's only a matter of time before it's figured out."_

 _"Alright, thanks. You're the best."_

 _"I have good friends. See you at eight."_

 _"See ya."_

Christine went back to trying to comfort Adalyn. She hoped that Carol would have some words of wisdom for her because Christine would completely out of words. All she knew to do was hug her. She had friends that had had miscarriages but she had been lucky. Even with the troubles that they had had conceiving Lucas, her pregnancies had all been healthy with no issues other than morning sickness that let up by the end of the first trimester. Good pregnancies and fairly easy deliveries. Christine had loved being pregnant and a lot of people said that she was glowing. It just didn't seem fair now that she was holding Adalyn.

Adalyn finally calmed herself down somewhat about the same time Mike and the girls were due downstairs. Christine got her to sit down in the kitchen nook with a cup of hot tea while she fixed breakfast. Mike came down at seven, dressed and ready for work. He leaned down and kissed the top of Adalyn's head and then got his cup of coffee.

"You okay? Rough morning."

"Yeah, nausea has passed."

"Good, you were worrying me. You don't have any weight to lose. I know Carol is coming out, is there any medicine she can bring you?" Christine gestured at him to follow her into the laundry room. She might as well just pull the band aid off the wound. She knew Mike would be ecstatic.

"It's not the flu, Mike."

"What, then? I don't like you being sick."

"I've had this exact set of symptoms three times before. Nausea, vomiting but only in the early morning hours, craving for chocolate and you, missed period. Do the math, Mike. Unprotected sex two weeks ago. It's a little early but it's pretty obvious."

"Oh my God, you're…pregnant?"

"I thought you'd be more excited."

"I am. I just didn't think it would be so easy. I'm thrilled."

"Mike, easy. I haven't taken any tests yet but we don't need to get overly excited, at least not today. Adalyn won't handle this well today. Besides I'm only two weeks along. We need to put a cap on any happy announcements at the moment. Wait until I'm at least a month along."

"This is nothing to be ashamed of. You and I both want this baby. I think Adalyn will handle it. It might give her something to look forward to."

"Possibly but finding out on the day that her baby was due won't be good. She may not have known she was pregnant and she may know that she wasn't ready for a baby but she is still a grieving mother. All those issues don't take away from that. She bonded with that baby even after she knew that she would never get to hold him. She may handle me being pregnant well but today is going to be a day of 'what if's' for her. You and I both know something about that. We can't do this to her today."

"Alright. It's probably a good idea to wait until you're a bit further along anyway. How do you think Hannah and Lizzie will react?"

"Not sure. I am concerned both Adalyn and Lizzie will think they won't have a place here. It's a mess of issues. I'd better get back out there. Just remember not to say anything. I'll have a for sure answer tonight when you get home from work. All the symptoms are there but I still want to do a test."

"Do I need to pick one up?"

"Nah. I mentioned being sick all night to Carol. She suspects it too and she's bringing a couple out with her."

"Why a couple?"

"Because I want to be sure."

"Okay. I won't say anything but I am thrilled with this and I want you to be too."

"I am. Just a bad day."

Mike leaned in and kissed her and they headed into the kitchen. Lizzie had come downstairs and was finishing breakfast. Adalyn was still sitting in the kitchen nook looking outside and Hannah was trying her best to cheer her up. She didn't understand why Adalyn was so sad and Hannah had made it her mission in life to make everyone happy. It was a hard pill for to swallow that she couldn't help Adalyn. It would be a long day for Christine. Mike made it out the door at eight and met Carol at the end of the drive. He was in a hurry and just waved.

Carol walked into the kitchen and discreetly handed Christine the bag with the pregnancy tests. She made an excuse to the girls that she needed to go upstairs for a minute and Carol distracted them with pastries that she had gotten at a fancy bakery. She put a chocolate bagel back for Christine and the girls found what they wanted. Adalyn was typically pretty outgoing but she was fairly solemn. Even Hannah's antics weren't cheering her up. It made Carol hurt for both girls.

Carol had gotten four pregnancy tests and Christine used them all. Every single one of them came back positive. Despite being depressed about the rough day Adalyn was having, there was also a feeling of elation. It was the same feeling of elation that she had had when she found out she was pregnant with Addy, Hannah and Lucas. She rubbed her hand over her stomach and looked over at her dresser. There was a framed picture from when Lucas was born. Eight year old Addy and three year old Hannah were on either side of her on the bed, looking very proud of their baby brother and Mike was behind her with his hands on both girls' shoulders. He had been so thrilled. As elated as she was, she also was hurting because Addy and Lucas wouldn't be sharing in the joy when their baby brother or sister was born and Adalyn might have mixed feelings about it. She decided to text Mike. He would want to know. After three pregnancies, fancy announcements were far behind them.

 _"You at work?"_

 _"Just pulling in. And?"_

 _"And what?"_

 _"Pregnancy tests, babe?"_

 _"I took four."_

 _"And? You're killing me!"_

 _"You would think after three kids, you would be a bit less excited about this?"_

 _"I love when you're pregnant. There are very nice benefits for me aside from having a new baby to love."_

 _"Get your mind out of the gutter."_

 _"CHRISSY!"_

 _"Lol. All four were positive. I wish I could see your reaction!"_

 _"I'm so happy! I love you."_

 _"I love you too. I'd better go downstairs and help with the girls. Carol was going to try and talk to Adalyn. Remember, no sweeping announcements today."_

 _"Yes ma'am. Let me know if you need anything. I am going to try and come home early; if nothing else, to get Lizzie and Hannah out of the way. Give Adalyn the privacy she may need."_

 _"You're a good dad. I think Carol is taking her for lunch. That may help. Be careful today."_

 _"Yes, ma'am."_

Christine headed downstairs; Lizzie and Hannah were in the homeschool work where they were both working on a reading project that Christine had assigned them. Adalyn was still in the kitchen with Carol, talking quietly. Christine hesitated interrupting them but she wanted to get something to drink and to check on Adalyn. Carol gestured for her to come in and threw her a questioning look. It was a good thing that Adalyn was looking out the window so that she didn't see the huge grins on both Christine and Carol's face. Christine fixed herself a cup of hot tea and sit down next to Adalyn to eat her bagel that Carol had prepared.

"I thought of a name for my baby. I can't keep just calling him 'the baby,' he deserves a name even though he didn't have the chance to exist."

"He existed, sweetie. What's the name?"

"My dad…my real dad's name was Matthew. I always liked it and thought if I had a son, I'd name him Matthew."

"It's a beautiful name."

"I gave Matthew a middle name too. For my other dad. Michael."

"Oh, Adalyn, you don't have to do that. Mike will be honored but you aren't obligated."

"I want to. You and Dad have done a lot for me. I thought about naming the baby Michael Matthew but I figured it would be less confusing if I called him Matthew. Is it stupid that I've put so much thought into naming a baby that will never be born?" Carol had remained quiet throughout the entire conversation but Christine was at a loss as to what to say so Carol piped in.

"No, it's not. I named all the ones I lost. Rebecca, Joshua, Max and Hope. Giving them an identity makes grieving for them slightly easier. I also had a stillborn, Josie. I had made it to two weeks before my due date and I realized one day at work that I hadn't felt the baby kick all day. Your mom can tell you how rare that is and I knew there was something off. One of the nurses and a doctor friend of mine did an ultrasound and the baby didn't have a heartbeat. There was no explanation for it. I had never gotten to hold any of the babies that I had miscarried but I did get to hold Josie. She was so perfect. Little button nose, dark hair and dimples. I remember holding her and thinking that I would never get to see those dimples deepen when she smiled, would never get to put a bow in that dark hair, and never get to watch that little nose wrinkle up at something she didn't like. I'm not telling you this to hurt you but to tell you that despite how rough you feel right now, there is a way to feel joy again. For me it's when I get to put a healthy baby on his or her mommy's chest so that bond can take place. That day while I was holding Josie was when I decided to specialize in women's health. Not just as an OB-GYN but in general too. It's been cathartic. Name the baby whatever you want to and remember you get to feel joy again. It doesn't mean that seeing or hearing that someone you care about is having a baby won't bring you pain but you can rejoice with them because a baby being born is a joyous thing and holding their baby will make you happy again despite the pain."

"I am really sorry, Carol. Mom, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Are you pregnant?" Christine glanced over at Carol. She couldn't lie to Adalyn, she deserved the truth.

"Yes. I'm not far along at all and Dad and I were going to wait to tell you girls until after today. We knew it might be a bit hard for you to digest."

"You're not happy about it?"

"Dad and I are both thrilled but we didn't want to cause you more pain, especially today. It didn't seem fair."

"Did you plan on having a baby or is it an accident?"

"The baby is planned but not quite this soon."

"I'm happy for you guys. Its great news."

"Adalyn, you don't have to say that to make me feel better. You have a right to be upset and even angry."

"No. There is no way I could have given my baby the life he would have deserved but you and Dad can give your baby as good of a life as what you have given me. I can't be upset or angry at that. You guys are deserving of this baby."

"I appreciate that. But you deserved your baby too."

"If I had had him, I would have most likely given him up for adoption. I would have wanted him to have a family like I had and have again. At the point I was at when I lost Matthew; he would not have that with me."

"That makes me feel better. I do think we need to hold off on telling Lizzie and Hannah until I am a bit further along. That is, if Dad can keep his mouth shut. I'll be lucky if he isn't telling the whole world right now."

"He's that excited?"

"Yeah. He loves kids, his kids, anyone's kids."

"How far along are you?"

"Two weeks. So barely even pregnant. Most women don't know this soon."

"I didn't know and I was three months along. In hindsight, I can see the symptoms but no one had ever told me about all that stuff before I got turned out. I barely even knew how to handle my periods. It makes me wonder if I had known and taken better care of myself; if I would have still lost Matthew?" Christine glanced over to Carol to have her answer it.

"Sometimes the best care in the world doesn't matter. A lot of times miscarriages just happen with no explanation."

"Oh. So, it was nothing I did wrong?"

"Absolutely not. It may have been your body's way of taking care of itself. You were only fifteen. A lot of fifteen year olds have babies but your body is still growing and developing and to have to grow a baby maybe too much. You didn't do anything wrong."

"But I had sex. That couldn't have helped the baby." Carol gave Christine a sideways look. It was enough to make Christine want to laugh.

"It's not abnormal to have sex when you're pregnant. It didn't cause the miscarriage."

"Okay. I hope not. I've been worried this whole time that it was something I'd done wrong. Some of the nurses made me feel like I shouldn't have been pregnant and that it was a blessing that I miscarried. It probably was but I still felt like it was my fault."

"As a medical professional, it was none of their business to pass judgements. They should have been helping you understand what was happening to your body. I have delivered several babies for teenage mothers. Sometimes they had a female role model to explain to them what was happening, but not always. At that point, it's up to the nurses and doctors to take the time to explain it. You're not born knowing this stuff and it doesn't just develop with time. Someone has to explain it and answer questions. Even with normal, healthy pregnancies."

"I had my mom and my mother-in-law when I had Addy. I thought I would just bounce back and it wouldn't be any big deal. I was way wrong. I remember the moms showing up at our house the night that we brought Addy home. They did our laundry, fixed our meals, cleaned house and made me stay on the couch. It gave me time to bond with Addy and heal up. Mike had to go back to work immediately and I would have been miserable if I had to do all that on my own. Now, granted, they both did a fair amount of spoiling Addy but they were there mainly for me. I missed it when I had Hannah and Lucas."

"My mom gave me a talk before I started my period but it didn't feel like nearly enough when I was turned out."

"I was nearly forty and had been married for seventeen years when I was turned out and I wasn't prepared. There is no preparation for that but I can tell you with absolute certainty that not all men are like your clients. And I think you will find one someday in the distant future. He'll make you forget all those clients."

"Like Dad has done with you?"

"Yes. But it's not just sexual. I had to trade my self-respect, self-confidence, morals, personal beliefs and the most intimate part of my marriage in to feed myself and my daughter and make sure she had medicine and a place to live. It was a huge price to pay. If Mike was a different sort of man; he would have walked away and took our child with him. I thank God every day that he didn't do that. What he's done instead, is love me, support me, encourage me, and advocate for me. The clients were pigs and not real men. Real men do what Mike has done, what Dylan has done for Grace, what Peter does for Carol. Those are real men. And I have no doubt that at some point; you and Lizzie both will find one of those types of men." They cut the conversation when Hannah bounced out with her typical energy.

"Adalyn, can you help me with my project, please?"

"You bet." Adalyn left the kitchen nook with a huge smile on her face. Her attitude was totally different. It would still be a rough day but she had a different perspective because she wouldn't blame herself for miscarrying the baby and seemed genuinely happy for Mike and Christine.

"You handled that well, Christine. So how many were positive?"

"All four. It is really odd that I would know so soon."

"Your fourth pregnancy. You know the signs."

"I suppose. I didn't with Hannah. I went in for a regular exam and when the doctor was doing the pelvic; she looked up with a huge grin on her face and says 'Congratulations, you're going to be a mom again.' I didn't have a clue that I was pregnant. We weren't trying but we were thrilled."

"Best kind of news for a doctor to give."

"In retrospect, the signs were there. But Mike was getting ready for deployment, we'd moved, getting Addy adjusted to her new school, me finding a job, I was still grieving for my parents and Mike's mom had just died. But it was like Hannah was a Godsend."

"All babies are."

"I'm sorry you had to dredge up all that about the babies you lost. You hadn't said anything about Josie."

"I don't like talking about her. You know what that's like. People say 'Oh, I'm sorry. I can't imagine. She's in a better place.' They're right but I prefer she be here with me. And I would imagine it is harder for you because you actually got to watch Addy and Lucas grow, develop and become their own people. You knew their likes, dislikes, talents and everything else that made them, them. You talk a lot about Addy but not a lot where Lucas is concerned."

"I've had a little longer with Lucas. He was so much like Mike. Outgoing but serious, funny, he loved sports. Mike was his biggest hero. He sure loved his daddy. But he was so sweet to me. He would go out in the yard and pick grass and bring it in and give it to me like it was flowers. Gave me the best hugs too. Mike is a hugger and Lucas took after him in that respect too. His death was pretty typical of what all the Red Flu deaths were like. Horrific. I've not told Mike much about it and he hasn't asked a lot of questions. Addy's death was peaceful and even easy but Lucas was a fighter, like his dad. It will only hurt Mike if he ever does ask and I won't lie to him."

"It may help to tell him. It won't all be on you then."

"He's still struggling with Addy dying. He grieves for Lucas too. Addy and Mike had a beautiful bond. He had the same sort of bond with Lucas too. I think he's trying to build the same bond with Hannah. I'm hoping this baby is a boy. Mike needs another boy, not to replace Lucas. And I am kind of looking forward to another sweet little boy with skinned knees and grass bouquets."

"And you want a momma's boy!"

"Just a little. Mike jokes that Hannah is a momma's girl and he thinks that Lizzie and Adalyn are partial."

"Those girls love their dad."

"They do. I guess I'd better go be a teacher. The girls have been teaching themselves today and Mike mentioned coming home from work early to get Lizzie and Hannah. Give Adalyn some time."

"I think she'll be okay now. I would love to ream those nurses though. Making a fifteen year old girl think it was her fault that she miscarried? Just wrong."

"I agree. I think that's been her hang up and why she didn't think she was allowed to grieve for Matthew. I didn't tell her but that was also my dad's name. Lucas's middle name too."

"Wow, how ironic. And sweet."

"Yeah. So I noticed prenatal vitamins in the bag, how much do I owe you?"

"Nothing as long as I get babysitting duty once the baby is born."

"Deal."

"I'll get an appointment made for you when you are about six weeks along and we'll do an ultrasound. Due to your age, it will be a high risk pregnancy and I'll monitor you pretty closely. It'll be too soon then to find out the gender but we'll do an ultrasound at your monthly appointments. Any multiple births on either side?"

"No."

"Alright. Well, multiple births can still happen regardless."

"With the luck Mike and I have, it'll be triplets."

"I will laugh so hard if it is. Poor Mike, if it's all girls."

"Oh, lord. He's already losing his hair! I figure it's one."

"You tempted fate by making that remark."

"I don't think it works like that, Doctor."

"No. I will check and see if Adalyn wants lunch but Hannah may take priority."

"She generally does where Adalyn is concerned."

"They have a sweet relationship." Christine and Carol headed for the homeschool room. All three girls were happily working on their school work and Adalyn told Carol that she wanted to stay at home. She gave her a big hug and went back to work. She was in a much happier mood. Carol told them all goodbye and left. Christine had a bit of catching up to do.


	30. Chapter 30

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 30

The month had flown by unbelievably quickly. The girls were adjusting and Adalyn was going through the grieving process for the baby she had lost. Mike was working sixty to eighty hours a week to try and get the investigation wrapped up but when it seemed like he was getting ahead; more files would be delivered. There was no sense of accomplishment, like there had been when he got home from a deployment. It was depressing.

Christine was already starting to show which was odd since she was only six weeks along. They had told Lizzie and Hannah when she was a month along. Hannah was thrilled to be a big sister again but Lizzie was nervous and wouldn't tell Mike or Christine what was wrong. It was like she was trying to distance herself from them and they didn't know how to fix it. Adalyn seemed genuinely happy about it and was trying to help Lizzie.

When Christine started showing, she insisted on Christine coming in for her appointment. Mike took the afternoon off, they took the girls to stay at Grace's and they went in for the checkup. Christine had blood drawn and had given a urine sample. It was time for the ultrasound and the nurse helped her get ready. Carol walked in just as the ultrasound tech put the jelly on her abdomen. Mike was nervous; just as he had been when Christine was pregnant with Addy, Hannah and Lucas. Christine was joyful.

"Alright, relax, Dad. I will look around and then I'll turn the screen so you can see it. I also will be listening for baby's heartbeat."

Mike took Christine's hand and they watched as Carol looking at the screen, nodded at the ultrasound tech and looked back at the screen. Christine was getting scared because Carol wasn't letting on as to what was going on and Mike was squeezing her hand and had kissed her palm. Carol looked back at them and smiled broadly.

"So, I get that the President is pushing for repopulation but are you two on a personal mission to assist in this?"

"Uh…why?" Mike and Christine were both looking at Carol like she was talking in a foreign language.

"It's a bit early, but we are hearing three distinct heartbeats and seeing three distinct fetuses. Here you go. Now, Mike, don't pass out." Carol had moved the screen to where they could see it and sure enough, there were arrows pointing at shapes on the screen and titled "Baby A", "Baby B" and "Baby C." Mike and Christine were surprised and shocked but they both looked overjoyed.

"Are they…okay?"

"Yes. They look like they are right on track. Too soon to tell on gender. All looks really good."

"Will Chrissy be okay?"

"I think so. Due date will be August 26th but we will probably induce early. Last weeks will be most likely spent on bed rest. Christine, your number one job now is to grow these babies and take care of yourself. Let Mike take care of the girls and the house. How's the morning sickness?"

"Good, almost non-existent."

"Any other symptoms?"

"Just some heartburn. I had that with Addy. My mom told me it was because she was hairy. Sure enough."

"Old Wife's tale that seems to be true. Anything else?"

"Beyond the cravings, no. I do get tired pretty easily."

"Sleep now because with triplets, eight hours of sleep is a thing of the past."

"It is with one baby."

"Times three. You guys okay? This is news that is not always happy." The ultrasound tech and nurse got up and left the room. The tech had printed off two ultrasound pictures and handed them to Carol. The room felt a lot more informal without them in there and both Mike and Christine let out a breath of relief. Carol helped Christine clean the ultrasound jelly off and fix her clothes.

"I'm worried about Lizzie. She isn't handling the news of me being pregnant well and three babies?"

"I think you guys need to have an honest conversation with all three girls. Separately. And spend as much time as possible with them until the babies are born. Lizzie may feel that you guys won't want her anymore. Adalyn and Hannah both seem happy about a baby."

"A baby but three maybe a bit much."

"Mike, how do you feel?"

"Just shocked. I'm okay though. Worried about Chrissy. Her carrying one baby was stressful enough but three? What complications are there for her and the babies?"

"Due to her age, she's high risk. It means ultrasounds every appointment, we'll monitor for preeclampsia, and bed rest is almost a guarantee towards the end of the pregnancy. Low birth weight for the babies, possibly premature so there are concerns there. I don't want you either to fixate on that stuff though, enjoy the pregnancy and get the girls and yourselves ready. I am purposely glossing over this because I want you two to just concentrate on being happy and the girls. Let me worry about complications and if I think you need to know or worry about it, I'll tell you. Those babies look healthy and Christine is doing well. Fixate on that."

Mike helped Christine off the exam table and into her coat. They were both in shock. Carol left the room to get an appointment set up for Christine, giving them a moment to themselves. Christine got her purse and pulled Mike into a hug. He pulled away but had a hand on her stomach.

"We'll be okay."

"We will be but Lizzie is who is worrying me."

"Maybe she's nervous that we will make her care for the baby…or babies rather."

"That is a strong possibility. Or that she won't have a place. Hannah's our biological child; Adalyn looks so much like Addy and then Lizzie. I know you love her as much as I do but she may feel like the odd one out."

"True. So how do we fix it? She seems like she's distancing herself from us."

"It maybe because she is trying to protect herself. She may think we'll give her up. For the first time in her life, she's had a home, love, and parents who let her be a kid. She may be scared of losing that and so she is pushing us away so it won't hurt so bad."

"Makes sense." Carol walked in with her appointment card, literature about multiple births and a baby name book which caused both Mike and Christine to laugh.

"Little early there on the baby name book, Carol?"

"You have three to pick out. Maybe let Lizzie help?"

"That's an idea."

Both Mike and Christine gave Carol a hug and they headed out of the clinic, hand in hand. As shocked as they were, they were thrilled with the idea of triplets. Christine was determined to enjoy her pregnancy and not stress about anything and Mike was determined that she would have an easy pregnancy and the babies would be born without complication. Their to do list was unbelievably long but neither were stressed about it.

The trip to Grace's house to pick up the girls was spent discussing baby names and if they were boys or girls. The only thing Mike was adamant about was that at least one of the babies was a boy. Christine knew he would be thrilled regardless but they both wanted at least one boy.

Hannah and Adalyn both wanted to see the ultrasound picture and wanted to hear all about the appointment. Lizzie tried to seem disinterested but Mike noticed her listening to what Christine said pretty carefully. Christine omitted the part about there being three babies and just told them that everything was going well. They would show them the picture at home. Mike took the girls outside to get in the truck while Christine told Grace. Lizzie was walking to the truck and started to slip. Mike grabbed her arm to steady her and wrapped his arm around her.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I didn't see that ice. I hope Mom doesn't hit that."

"Soon as I get you girls to the truck, I'll walk back and help her. No worries."

"Okay." Hannah and Adalyn were already getting in the passenger side of the truck and so Mike walked Lizzie around the driver's side.

"Lizzie, I know you're worried about your place in this family. You are as much our daughter as what Hannah is. We both love you and you will always have a home with us."

"I love you guys too. You'd better go help Mom. I'm alright." Mike kissed the side of her head and opened the door for her. He heard Christine at the open door talking to Grace and he helped Lizzie in and hurried back to the front door. He told Grace that he needed some rock salt and she immediately grabbed the bag out of the coat closet. He put the salt down so that Christine could safely walk through and then walked back to help her across. Christine hugged Grace and Mike thanked her for watching the girls. Mike took Christine's arm and walked her across.

"Look at you, all protective of your wife and babies."

"Not like I should have been. Lizzie almost ended up on her backside because of that ice. I caught her but she would have been hurting."

"Always catching one of us. I love you."

"I love you too. And by the way; it's the couch for you, my lady. I'll cook dinner."

"Oh, God. Please let Lizzie help you?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Mike helped her into the truck and walked around to the driver's side. Christine had taken his IPad out of her purse and handed it back to Hannah. She had a game she loved playing on it and Adalyn liked helping her. Christine leaned back and squeezed Lizzie's knee which led to a slight smile. They would need to tell Lizzie as soon as possible about the triplets to give her more time to adjust. Christine just prayed that Lizzie would be alright with it.

Mike was insistent about Christine staying on the couch and cooking dinner himself. Adalyn and Hannah went into the homeschool room to work on a project and Lizzie was helping Mike. Christine came in and sat down at the counter and ignored the look Mike gave her. It was time to talk to Lizzie and he knew it.

"So Dad and I want to talk to you about some stuff. You've been a bit off since we told you that I'm pregnant."

"Where are you guys going to take me?" Mike and Christine both noticed the tears in Lizzie's eyes and Mike wrapped an arm around her. It was a little heartbreaking.

"Nowhere, your home is here with us, like I told you at the truck. We love you and you are as much our daughter as what Hannah or Adalyn is."

"But with the baby…"

"The thing is, Lizzie, it's not just one baby. When they did the ultrasound; there were three distinct heartbeats and three babies. It's triplets."

"So you'll need help with them? I took care of my little brother and sister when they were babies but not three at once. That'll be a lot harder."

"We will need help but you won't have to take care of them like you did your brother and sister. Dad and I will do that. What our concern is is that you seem to be distancing yourself from us. Was it because you were afraid we would make you move out when the babies were born?"

"I was afraid you wouldn't be able to afford everything with a new baby and now there will be three babies. Babies are really expensive. And Adalyn looks so much like your oldest daughter and Hannah is your daughter. I am the easy option for you all to get rid of. I just hoped that you wouldn't take me to someone like Mr. White."

Lizzie had laid everything out and it was beyond heartbreaking for both Mike and Christine. Christine's eyes had filled with tears and Mike was trying to swallow the lump in his throat. The fear in Lizzie's eyes was unbelievable and Mike knew he had to reassure her in some way.

"Lizzie, yes, babies are expensive but we will handle it. If I need to sit down with you and show you our budget, I will. We will be fine financially speaking. Legally speaking, we adopted you. It's no different than Adalyn and it means as much to us as what us having Hannah means. The bond isn't from birth like it is with her but it is just as deep. Adalyn does look like Addy but that isn't why we adopted her. Like you, she needed a home, family and love. It was something Mom and I were thrilled to give to you and her. I wish I could go back in time and have protected you from all the stuff that's happened to you; way before Mr. White. I would have figured out a way to get you away from your birth mom and I would have brought you home with us. You would have never had to worry about this. You would have only known love. I know that I've been spending a lot of time away from you girls but it's so that I can get these investigation tied up. I am not naïve enough to think that there are not more people like White out there; but you girls will never have to worry about someone like him again because of what I've done. It's my job as your father to protect you from people like him and it's a commitment I take very seriously and I will until I take my last breath. For all three of you girls and these three babies. You have a home here as long as you want to have a home here and taking care of the babies is not something we expect of you. That's Mom and mine's job."

Lizzie had started crying midway through Mike's speech and was currently sobbing into Christine's chest. Christine was gently rocking her back and forth and Mike was rubbing her shoulder. His speech had been extremely heartfelt and Christine was also crying. Lizzie finally sit up and Mike pulled her into a hug. Christine got up to finish the dinner that Mike had started. Lizzie ended up going into the powder room to wash her face while Mike and Christine dished dinner up. He wasn't thrilled with Christine not sitting but she had made it clear to him that she also needed to be active. They quietly decided to tell Hannah and Adalyn that night. They couldn't expect Lizzie to keep the secret.

Dinner was fairly light hearted and they did tell Adalyn and Hannah about the triplets. Adalyn was thrilled. Hannah was happy but she kept eyeing Christine's stomach suspiciously. As Mike was tucking her into bed, she finally asked to see the ultrasound picture. Mike conveniently had his copy in his shirt pocket. Hannah looked at and her little forehead really wrinkled up.

"Daddy, I seen a baby at church. He was really fat. Mommy is pretty little and how's she gonna fit three of them in her belly? Where's her guts going to go?"

"They won't be as big as that baby and Doctor Carol will make them come early enough so that it's easier on Mom. They just have to stay long enough that their little bodies can handle being outside of her tummy. She'll be alright."

"Why did God decide we needed three babies instead of one?"

"Maybe He knew that between me and Mommy, you, Lizzie and Adalyn, we had plenty of love for three babies? I really don't know."

"Maybe. Where will they sleep?"

"I don't know. Mommy and I have to figure that stuff out."

"Can I help pick out names? Is it girls or boys?"

"You can help and we don't know yet. Mom and I both want at least one boy but we're fine with girls too."

"If it's all girls; I'll go fishing with you, Daddy. And I'll watch football but do I have to go hunting? I don't want to hurt a deer." Mike started laughing at Hannah and bent down and kissed Hannah's forehead. It was adorable. Hannah was all girl. Her pajamas were pink, her bedroom was pink, and even Snicker's collar was pink. Imagining her baiting a hook or watching a football game was a hilarious thought.

"No, you don't have to do any of that stuff unless you want to. And you'll always be my baby girl even if I have more baby girls."

"I know, Daddy. I hope you and Mommy have a boy. I won't mind a little brother again. But I can still miss Lucas, right?"

"Absolutely. Mom and I will miss him too. These babies won't replace Addy and Lucas."

"But we won't be so sad anymore?"

"There will be days that we will be just as sad. Their birthdays? Mom and both cry at different times when we miss Addy and Lucas. And you can cry too."

"When you and Mommy miss them, come and find me and I'll give you a hug. I don't like it when you guys are sad."

"Alright, we'll do that. I love you, sweetie."

"I love you too, Daddy. And don't forget to find me when you're sad."

"I won't and I'll tell your mom. You wake us up if you need anything, okay?" Hannah nodded at him and Mike tucked the blanket around her. He kissed her again on the forehead. Snickers crawled up next to Hannah and Mike shut her light off. He stuck his head into Lizzie and Adalyn's bedroom to tell them goodnight. They were painting their toenails and barely acknowledged him. Lizzie seemed slightly more upbeat and had even smiled slightly at Mike. He ran downstairs to lock up and shut lights off. By the time he got upstairs, Christine was in bed in her pajamas on. He got ready for bed and crawled in next to her. He had developed a habit of pulling her shirt up and kissing her stomach before he settled to go to sleep. He kissed her stomach in three different places and then kissed Christine. He settled beside her and she put her head on his chest.

"So, triplets?"

"Yeah. Hannah told me that if they were all three girls, she would go fishing with me and would watch football. She also said that when you and I are sad about Addy and Lucas; to find her and she'll give us a hug."

"She's so sweet. Just like her daddy."

"More so like her mom. I have at least a twelve hour day tomorrow."

"Better get to sleep. You did good with Lizzie."

"I hate it for her. We're just going to have to show her that she has a home here and won't have to take care of the babies."

"I think you made it clear to her how much we loved her. The rest will work itself out. Get to sleep." Christine leaned up and kissed Mike and his hand settled on her abdomen right over their babies. She burrowed into his chest and put her hand over his. For the past month, they had both fallen asleep with their hands on her stomach and Christine loved it. The babies were already deeply loved.


	31. Chapter 31

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 31

It was almost ten pm but for the first time in seven months, Mike felt a sense of accomplishment. He had assisted the local police department in making an arrest that was a result of one of his investigations. He was able to slap the handcuffs on the suspect and listened to him being read his Miranda Rights. The suspect had raped several women after the Red Flu. They all now had horrific scars on their cheeks from him slashing them but he would never hurt another person.

Thankfully Christine and the girls understood of his long hours away from them. The investigations were far from being finished but he had found a second wind and it felt good. Due to preeclampsia, Christine was on bed rest and would stay there until the babies could be safely delivered. She homeschooled the girls from their bed, Lizzie did the cooking and Adalyn cleaned and did laundry. Hannah had struggled a little with not having her mom as readily accessible and Mike being gone so much. Christine would just remind her that it wasn't permanent. Hannah was beyond excited for her baby siblings to be born.

The house was quiet when he walked in. There was a plate of dinner in the microwave for him and he quickly ate it. Mike wanted to get upstairs and to bed because he had another long day the next day. He locked up, shut lights off, checked on all three of his sleeping daughters and headed into his own bedroom. Christine was still awake, reading a school book. Mike jumped on the bed, still fully clothed, pulled her shirt up and kissed her very swollen abdomen. He knew she was miserable but would never admit it. He finally reached up and kissed her and sat up.

"I am going to miss you doing that when I'm not pregnant anymore."

"I will still come in every night and kiss you."

"It's the symbolism. You kiss my belly exactly three times. It's like you're giving each baby a kiss. And they always start kicking like crazy. I do think you're giving their feet, elbows and knees kisses though."

"Are they kicking now?"

"Yep." Christine took both his hands and positioned them on different places on her stomach. Sure enough he was rewarded with strong kicks. It made him smile and laugh. He'd always loved feeling their babies kicking. He lifted her shirt again and kissed her stomach again.

"I love it."

"I do too. As much as I love being pregnant, I am ready not to be anymore. Two more months. Carol wants me to get to eight months before they're born and I would prefer that."

"I just want whatever is safest for you and them. Eight months, they'll be okay?"

"Low birth weight but their little lungs will be developed. That's the biggy."

"I hated missing your appointment. Any indication on gender?"

"I didn't think you wanted to know?"

"Easier said than done. Do you know?"

"I have an idea. Carol said gender neutral but the indication I had was that it wasn't because she didn't know."

"So maybe at least one boy and one girl?"

"At least. And the third one will be a tie breaker."

"So many details. Names are really getting me right now."

"Lizzie suggested one for a girl that I really like; Taya Hope."

"I do like that one."

"I do too. And I'm lost on boy's names."

"I like Matthew but since Adalyn named her son that we can't name our son Matthew. It just wouldn't be right."

"My dad's middle name was William and that was you're dad's first name. I've heard of people shorten it to Liam. I do like Liam."

"I like Liam better than I do William. I'd want to call him Liam."

"Me too. William Michael?"

"I don't care about the middle name being Michael."

"I like it though. So William Michael and Taya Hope. Just need a third name."

"Provided we at least have a boy and a girl?"

"I think we do. We can wait and see what we have on the third baby?"

"I hate not being prepared."

"I know. But it's kind of fun too."

"If you say so. I'd better go take a shower."

"Yeah, you do smell a little."

"Thanks, babe. I love you too."

Christine grinned at him as he walked to the bathroom. The babies were playing soccer in her belly. Mike had apparently "woke" them up. They always kicked when he was talking. Addy, Hannah and Lucas had always done that too. They loved the sound of their daddy's voice. She laid her hand over them and put her book on the nightstand. She couldn't reach her lamp but knew Mike would shut it off. The one thing that she was absolutely ready for was to not have to sleep on her side. She hated not sleeping on Mike's chest. He finally came out of the bathroom, shut her lamp off and laid down next to her, wrapping both arms around her and laying his hands over abdomen. The babies immediately started kicking in response and she laid her hands over his. Mike practically fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. It would take Christine longer.

About four am, Hannah came in wanting to sleep with them. She was getting a little old for it but Christine had trouble telling her no. Hannah settled next to her and wrapped her arms around Christine. She had hit a growth spurt and it seemed that she would be getting Mike's height. She was becoming a young lady.

Addy's birthday was in September and if things were normal, Mike and Christine would be looking at colleges for their oldest daughter and arguing about nose rings. Christine tried not to think about all the negatives but it was unbelievably hard. She'd struggled around Lucas' birthday too. Mike tried to be strong for her but many times they ended up just crying in each other's arms. The difference with Addy's birthday was that they would have the triplets by then and they would have to be focused on them. Christine wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not. Addy's birthday was the 1st of September and if all worked according to Carol's plan; the triplets would be approximately five weeks old. Christine would be cleaning spit up, trying to educate the three older girls, changing diapers and not focusing on their oldest daughter who would never celebrate another birthday and Mike would be working. He had tried to take off for Lucas' birthday but the President wanted a meeting on the progress of the investigations. It took all day and both Mike and Christine had been miserable.

Christine never really got back to sleep. Mike's arms were still wrapped around her from behind and Hannah was hugging her from the front. It was hot and miserable but she would never deny either of them. The babies were playing soccer with her bladder and she was going to have to disturb either her husband or her daughter. Mike needed his sleep but Hannah was a bit of a grouch when woke up and Christine had to use the bathroom. She finally shook Mike's arm to wake him.

"You okay…the babies?"

"Except for the fact that Liam and Taya are playing soccer with my bladder and Jellybean is playing goalie; all is well. I just need to pee and who would want to wake Hannah up? Sleeping tween? Not a smart move."

"Okay. She's getting a tad old for this?"

"At one point we thought that with Addy and she stopped sleeping in our bed. Now, I would give anything to go back and let her sleep in our bed with us one more time." Christine saw the look of pain in Mike's eyes but her bladder was taking priority over the fact that she had hurt Mike's feelings so she headed into the bathroom. She was a little moodier than normal and could bite her tongue around the girls but Mike generally got the brunt of her moods. She needed to remember to be more careful. One of the things that she couldn't let go of from White was that Mike might suddenly decide he couldn't handle being with her anymore considering everything and would leave. Another holdover from White was thinking that her value was of a sexual nature and it wasn't like she could do that for Mike at the moment. She knew Mike wasn't that shallow but the possibility was always there.

When she waddled back into the bedroom, Mike was lying next to Hannah but was still awake, there were tears on his cheeks and he was running his hand through Hannah's long brown hair. Hannah had turned back in her sleep and was bear hugging Mike's torso. It made Christine hurt a little for Mike but she wasn't sure what to even say and she needed to get off her feet and Mike needed to go to sleep.

"Sorry, Mike. I didn't mean it the way it sounded."

"You were right."

"It's just…you don't talk about them anymore. You're trying to forget them…"

"Addy and Lucas were my kids too. I may not talk about them like I did but they are never far from my thoughts. I can't forget them but I choose not to dwell on it."

"And you're saying I am?"

"Christine, calm down. The babies…"

"I know. I know. Babies that will never get to know their older sister or brother. You were gone for half their lives. I carried them for nine months, changed their diapers, fed them, and when they died; I was there. You were not. And I would be willing to bet; you won't be there for these babies either. It'll be up to me to feed them, clean up after them and teach them and you'll swoop in, have fun for a couple months out of the year and leave again. You won't be there for the tears, the shots, or cleaning up the puke. You're the fun parent and I am here to pick up the pieces, like always."

"Where's this coming from? Never mind. I'm not going to argue with you. You need to lie down. I'll just go to work." Christine was still fuming as Mike got out of bed. Fortunately Hannah had slept through everything. Christine laid down next to her and watched as Mike got ready for work. The babies were kicking wildly and Christine took some deep breathes to calm herself. She was furious but had to rein herself in for their benefit. Mike finished and walked back into the bedroom with his briefcase. He bent down to kiss her but she turned her head away from him.

"Alright. Point taken. If you need anything, call. I'll try and get home early tonight. I love you."

"Mmm."

"Please give the girls a kiss from me and take it easy."

"Go, Mike. We'll be fine. We always are."

"I love you."

Mike bent down and smoothed Hannah's hair and then turned around and walked out of the room. Within a few moments, she heard Mike's truck start and the headlights bouncing off the bedroom wall, telling her that he had left. She had no idea where everything had come from; she just hoped she hadn't completely driven him away. Christine knew that Carol was already awake and so she decided to text her to gripe about Mike.

" _I can't sleep."_

" _Better now because you won't be in a couple months."_

" _Too worked up."_

" _Not good for the babies. What's wrong?"_

" _Mike. He told me he wasn't dwelling on Hannah and Lucas. Made it seem like I shouldn't think about them because he doesn't."_

" _Did he say that or was it the impression you took?"_

" _Not exactly."_

" _What did you say? And where is he?"_

" _At work like always. Just reminded him that it was me that took care of our kids and was there when Lucas and Addy died and that he would be the same with these babies."_

" _Oh."_

" _That's all you have? Oh?"_

" _Is that all you said?"_

" _He mentioned that Hannah was getting too old to sleep with us and I reminded him that we got to that point with Addy and she stopped. Now I wish we could go back in time and let her sleep with us one more time."_

" _And he's left for work?"_

" _Yeah. He wanted me to calm down and come back to bed so he decided not to argue with me."_

" _I agree with Mike. And I think the hormones are getting the best of you."_

" _So what?"_

" _I think you need to figure out a way to mend the fences with Mike."_

" _Why? He'll just leave for work again."_

" _Christine, that man could have walked away and he didn't. He idolizes you. Yes, he is working a lot but he's doing it so he can finish these investigations. He has plans on being home with you after their born to help. He told me the other day he had lined up six weeks off. Most husbands I know take a couple days, possibly a week off and go back to work, leaving the mom to take care of the baby and get healed up. You have no idea how lucky you are."_

" _I didn't know that."_

" _And he obliterated his career to stay at home with you and not deploy again?"_

" _It wasn't just for me. It was also for the girls."_

" _Granted. But he still did it so that he was home every night with you."_

" _So what do I do now? He may choose not to come back. It's not like I can do much for him now."_

" _If you are thinking your personal value to him is in sex, then no. You can't at the moment but that is not the only reason Mike stays with you and you know it."_

" _He's said that it wouldn't matter to him if we never had sex again."_

" _That should tell you a lot. Call him back. You can't leave this argument like this all day."_

" _Alright."_

" _Talk to you later."_

Carol, as normal was right. Christine should not have thrown in about Mike not being there when the kids died. She knew it ate at him and she had made a dig about it. Christine could only imagine the pain she had caused him. She had also not told him that she loved him. She had to fix it and quickly. She punched his number into her cellphone and prayed that he would answer.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I know you're probably half way to work but I wanted to apologize and…"

"I'll be home in a minute."

Mike had hung up and Christine stared at her phone. She wondered where he was if it would only be a minute before he got home. Hannah was still sound asleep in their bed and so Christine decided to go downstairs to wait on him. She wasn't supposed to but Hannah didn't need to hear them talking. The trek down the steps was not fun. By the time she got to the bottom, Mike's truck had pulled back in. Christine waited at the bottom of the stairs for him, curious as to where he'd been. Mike walked back in and looked shocked that she was at the bottom of the stairs.

"Babe, you shouldn't be out of bed."

"Hannah's still asleep. I figured we'd go to the couch."

"Okay. Let's get you sit down." Mike wrapped his arm around her and they walked to the living room. She was so awkward that he had to help her sit comfortably. He put a throw pillow behind her and helped her settle. As badly as she had hurt him; he was still helping her. She was deeply ashamed of herself and didn't even know where to start. "I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee, do you want me to fix you a cup of tea?"

"Yes, please." Mike nodded at her and walked into the kitchen. She could hear the coffee maker start and her electric kettle heating up the water for her tea. Within a couple minutes, Mike walked back in with a tray with his coffee cup, her tea and a couple of the chocolate bagels that Carol kept her supplied with.

"Feed me chocolate, huh?"

"I hoped it would make you feel better."

"I feel fine. Sit here beside me. I'm not going to bite you." Mike almost seemed nervous but he sat down next to her. The babies were "awake" and were kicking wildly. She took both his hand and put them on her abdomen so he could feel the kicks. It instantly brought a smile to his face and he chuckled softly. Christine loved the look of joy and wonder on Mike's face. She knew he needed to get to work and she was stalling the inevitable.

"They're really active this morning."

"They love hearing their daddy's voice. Mike, I need to apologize for what I said this morning. You didn't deserve that and I have no idea where it came from. I know that not being there when Lucas and Addy died bothers you and I used that. I shouldn't have. I also shouldn't have thrown it in your face about being gone. I knew when you joined the Navy that you would be gone for months at a time and I agreed to it. When you were home; you were right there with me doing all that stuff for the kids and I know that you will be the same with these babies, only you'll be home more because you've sacrificed your career to stay with us. You've been nothing but supportive and loving. I know you are in this for good. It's probably a throwback to White but I guess I keep waiting for the next shoe to drop and you realize that at this point you're not getting anything out of this relationship. He made me believe that the only value I had was of a sexual nature. I know you aren't that shallow but it's not like it's something I'm capable of right now. You are an amazing husband and father. You always have been. I don't know if I'm making any sense or not. I do love you. I should have told you that this morning but I didn't. I hurt you and I don't know how to even begin to fix it. I just know that I want to."

"I don't see it that way. You are carrying my babies. You're exhausted, you can't get comfortable and you have to educate our children from bed. I'd say you're doing plenty. I am the one that knocked you up. As far as what you said concerning Addy and Lucas; unfortunately, it's true. You didn't say anything I hadn't thought. That's why I asked for shore duty. I couldn't do that anymore. No, I won't be there for everything but I will be here more. And trust me, you're value to me goes far deeper than sex. I'm not going to just leave because I'm not getting any. I love you too much for that."

"You have such a way of putting things! Knocked me up? Wow, Mike. If I remember right, it was my idea that night?"

"True but I did kind of forget something which has resulted in triplets."

"Taya, Liam and Jellybean thank you."

"We need a better name for Jellybean."

"I want to wait. Find out who our little tie breaker is. I'm thinking girl."

"Liam and I will be completely outnumbered."

"You already are. Mike, are we okay? I know I really hurt you this morning."

"We're good. It's just a reminder to keep you supplied with chocolate since we can't do the other thing you're craving right now. I've been slacking."

"Agreed. Can you help me upstairs?"

"Absolutely. Those stairs make me nervous where you're concerned."

"You are the one that knocked me up."

"Cute. And you seemed to enjoy it. You did say thank you afterwards."

"If memory serves, it was amazing. Just hang onto that though because it'll be at least three months before we can do that again and I definitely won't ever fit into that nightgown again."

"And I don't mind the weight gain."

"I'm at one fifty now but Carol thinks I'll gain ten more before the babies are born."

"Still tiny. Hannah's still wondering where you're fitting all the babies."

"At the moment, Taya is playing with a rib, Liam is using my bladder as a baseball and Jellybean is doing aerobics."

"Let's get you upstairs."

Mike helped Christine up off the couch and then walked her up the stairs. Going up them was a lot harder than walking down them and she was glad that he was there. It was almost seven and the girls would be waking up. Mike helped her settle back into the bed and got her tea from downstairs. Hannah was still sound asleep thankfully. Mike gave Christine a long kiss. He promised to be back earlier that night and they exchanged "I love you's." Mike left for work. Christine felt considerably better.


	32. Chapter 32

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 32

Mike made a point to get home early. Christine needed him home more, the girls needed him home. It wasn't fair to ask Adalyn and Lizzie to do all the cooking, cleaning and getting Hannah settled for bed. Christine couldn't so he needed to step up. He also realized that morning as he sit at the end of the driveway, waiting for Christine's call that he hadn't seen or talked to the girls in almost a week. He left for work before they woke up and got home after they went to bed. The night before was the first time he had seen Hannah that week and she was sleeping. He was determined to be a better father then that.

Mike opened the front door and he could hear the girls talking in the kitchen. They generally ate all their meals with Christine so she felt included in the family time. He thought about going upstairs to her but decided he needed to help if they would let him. He'd made it all the way into the kitchen before they even realized he was there and Hannah jumped into his arms. Adalyn and Lizzie both seemed happy to see him too. He gave all three girls hugs and kisses. Hannah looked like she had grown inches. Had he not noticed or not seen her?

"Do you girls need help with supper?"

"No, Dad. Why don't you go up and visit with Mom and we'll bring supper up."

"You sure? It's not fair that you girls have had to do so much."

"Yeah, we don't really want you to cook, Dad."

"Thanks, Lizzie. I love you too."

She gave him a cheeky smile and went back to her cooking. Adalyn was showing Hannah how to fold clothes, another skill he wasn't particularly good at. She did hand him a stack of towels and washrags for his and Christine's bathroom. Mike told all three girls that he wanted to eat dinner with them and to holler if they needed help carrying the food and dishes up the steps. As he walked up the stairs with the towels and wash rags, he could hear their chatter and laughter. He had really missed it. As he walked into their bedroom, Christine gave him a huge smile. He could tell she seemed surprised.

"I promised that I would try to get home earlier."

"After this morning, I wasn't even sure you would come back."

"Let me put these away and change clothes and we'll talk, okay?"

"Alright."

Mike quickly changed into more comfortable clothes and put the laundry away. He wasn't quite sure what to say to make Christine feel better. She had tears in her eyes despite the smile she gave him. He knew some of it was the emotions from being pregnant but a lot of it had to do with White. Mike would be spending the rest of his life undoing the damage that that pig had created with Christine and the older girls. Mike walked back into the bedroom, and laid down next to Christine. He rubbed his hands over her belly and was rewarded by a strong kick. Christine let out a laugh.

"They sure love their daddy."

"Their daddy sure loves them. How do they know that it's me rubbing your stomach though?"

"I don't know. You know, it's shocking how we can already love them so much and we haven't even met them yet."

"I know. I can't wait."

"Two months. They need to cook a little longer. Hottest months of the summer too. We didn't plan this very well."

"We'd planned for one baby, not three and not so soon."

"And yet, we love all three of them, whoever they are."

"Mmm-hmm. So how was your day?"

"The girls worked on their school work and I napped and went to the bathroom. When we meet Jellybean, we need to have a conversation with her about using Mommy's bladder as a soccer ball. It isn't nice."

"Her, huh?"

"Yep. I'm positive. Two girls and a boy. I don't know why either. What do you think about Tess?"

"I don't know a Tess."

"You just haven't met one yet if you like that name."

"Oh, for Jellybean? I do like that name. Taya, Tess and Liam?"

"Yep. I like it."

"What about a middle name?"

"Catherine, after Mom…unless you want to name her Phyllis after your mom?"

"Catherine is good. So Taya Hope, Tess Catherine and William…not Michael?"

"Yes, Michael."

"Well, you are the one carrying him so I guess I need to shut up."

"Mike, if you don't agree…"

"The names are perfect. I love them."

"Okay. Worried me."

"You did make a comment that worried me. Something about being surprised I came back?"

"Yeah. I…Mike, I need you and I love you but I was absolutely horrible to you this morning. I keep thinking that you will eventually just get sick of all this. Me cheating on you, how I've treated you. You'll leave and not come back and I will be stuck with three kids and pregnant with three more. I have no idea what I will do without you."

"And you will never find out. I'm here for good. With you, with those girls downstairs and with these babies. I love and need you too. When I couldn't find you after we got back to Norfolk; I had to face the fact that I might have to live this life without you in it. And without the kids. I got you and Hannah back but we have to live life without Addy and Lucas in it. Granted we'll have these babies and we have Adalyn and Lizzie. I will never choose to live without you guys. It was hell. You didn't cheat on me, you were raped. And you are pregnant with triplets. You're due some bad days. You made some points. I've been a really bad husband and father. I realized earlier that I hadn't seen the girls all week aside from last night when Hannah was sleeping in here. You all deserve better. The investigation is far from finished but I will not be leaving home until at least seven thirty am and will be home for dinner. It may extend it a little longer but I need to be here. And I will be taking time off with you when you have these babies."

"The girls and I have really missed you. We love you for doing what you are doing but we really missed you. Like I said this morning; I guess I keep waiting for you to just be done with me. Throwback to White? I don't know, Mike. It's probably selfish of me to want you home more. What you are doing is so important; you are getting justice for those women and girls. Showing them that good men like you are out there. I'm not asking for you to quit the investigation but I am really glad that you are going to be home for. The investigation is way too important."

"Not nearly as important to me as you and those girls and these soccer players."

"They love your voice. Mike, finish those investigations but do try and get home early enough to at least tuck Hannah in, and spend some time with the older girls and me. That's all I ask."

"Alright. If you're sure?"

"I am. Come here."

Mike leaned in closer and Christine gave him a long and soft kiss. He finally pulled away when they heard the girls coming up the stairs. He didn't want to but he had told them he would help them. He jumped up and met Adalyn at the door with the plates. Lizzie had the heavy crock bowl that had the roast, potatoes and carrots and Adalyn pointed at her. He immediately took it out of her hands and carried it to the table that he had moved into their bedroom. It sit next to Christine's side of the bed and there were chairs for the girls. As the girls got the table set up, he ran downstairs for his own chair. Christine only sit up during mealtimes and used the bed. It was unorthodox but it worked for them.

"Daddy, are you eating with us tonight?"

"Yeah, Hannah."

"Good! Can you tuck me in tonight? Lizzie and Adalyn do a good job but I miss you at bedtime. Mommy gives me a kiss but you haven't in like a month."

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm going to do better."

"It's okay; you are making the bad people go away. I'm okay but I've missed you."

"I missed you too, baby girl."

Christine could see the pain in Mike's eyes. Hannah hadn't meant anything by what she said and Mike had pulled her into a hug. Hannah would always be more of a momma's girl but she adored her daddy too. She understood why Christine couldn't tuck her in and play more of a role while she was on bed rest but it had bothered her that Mike wasn't. Hannah would just never tell Mike though but he seemed to know.

The rest of the dinner was happy and the girls talked about what they had been studying. Lizzie needed help with her geography and while Christine could help her; Mike insisted he would. Adalyn struggled with math and Mike promised he would help her. Christine knew it had to with feeling that the girls needed him and to help her a bit.

Mike helped the girls clean up the kitchen and finish up laundry. While Hannah took her shower, he went back upstairs and paid bills with Christine and got the list of what they needed for the babies. Everything. He had been the one to put the baby furniture together and paint the nursery with their other kids but now he was at a loss. Onesies? Sleepers? Gender neutral? Diapers and wipes? Both Adalyn and Lizzie would be helping him a lot.

"Mike, why don't you go this Saturday with the girls? They can help you? I'll be okay."

"I hate leaving you alone."

"We have two months before Carol induces and if they decide to be earlier, less than that. We need this stuff. Now, I know Carol and Grace are planning a baby shower and some of this stuff will be gotten then but we still need cribs and bassinets."

"When's the shower?"

"They have moved the potluck on Tuesday night to here since I can't go to the group. We'll know then what we need for you to get. I think it'll be some good time for you and the girls. They need it with you."

"Given. I just hate the idea of you being alone."

"Maybe Carol or Grace can come out and babysit me?"

"That would make me feel better. It's not that you need a babysitter but we are getting closer to meeting these babies and your labors went pretty quickly with Hannah and Lucas."

"I know. I doubt this labor will go that fast though. I want to do it naturally too. I wish I could get out of Carol inducing but she's insistent."

"No epidural…Chrissy, that…is that a good idea?"

"I had Lucas naturally. At the time I thought it was terrible but it meant a faster recovery for me."

"It was pretty intense though."

"Just on your side. To me, it was beautiful. My easiest delivery and biggest baby too."

"It's ultimately up to you but my objection is that it'll be three babies. What does Carol say?"

"Pretty much the same thing as you. She even suggested a C-section due to my smaller frame. I want that as a last resort."

"Okay. I just want what is safest for you and those babies. I will go along with anything you say but if at any point Carol thinks you are in danger, I will go along with her."

"And I would expect nothing less. I really want to do this as naturally as possible. If Carol would let me have them here; I would."

"Did you suggest that?"

"Yeah. She is okay with at home births and has even done a few but with my age, my frame and this being a multiple birth situation; she is objecting. She said she would make it as comfortable and as home-like as possible for me."

"I agree with her completely."

"She's worried about Baby C, or Tess. She called me today; she had reviewed my ultrasound again."

"Why?"

"Well, Liam and Taya or Baby A and B are closer to the birth canal. They aren't close to turning to a head down position but when they do; Tess if further up and Carol is concerned about their cords wrapping around the third baby's neck. That's why she suggested the C-section. Apparently they see it some in multiple birth situations."

"I see. And you still want a regular birth, knowing that?"

"It's only a possibility and Carol is prepared for it. The babies may reposition between now and then. They are very active. Carol did slip up though."

"How so?"

"Sure you want to know? It's in regards to their genders?"

"Might as well."

"Baby A is definitely a Liam, Baby B is definitely a Taya and I stopped her before she told me what Baby C is. She did say we would need girl stuff."

"I think Baby C is Tess."

"Me too."

"Alright, I'd better go tuck Hannah in. I promised her."

"She has missed you. I think that's why she came in here to sleep last night. She needed some 'daddy time.'"

"I feel horribly. When she said I hadn't given her a goodnight kiss in a month; it just hurt."

"I bet. She did understand it though. Better go."

Mike kissed Christine and got out of bed, heading to Hannah's room. The older two girls were downstairs watching TV. Mike stopped on the catwalk and watched them for a minute. He was also going to have to take time to buy an SUV, teach them both to drive and Christine had to figure out if the girls were ready to go to regular school. It was opening up that September and Christine was going to have her hands full with the triplets. The older girls were scared of going to school but needed to be socialized. With the exception of their group and occasional visits from Tom and his family, Sasha, and the Green's; they didn't get out a lot. He called down to them and asked them to lock up before they went to bed. It looked like they were getting ready to come upstairs anyway. Hannah was in her bed, playing with Snickers. As soon as she saw Mike, she gave him a huge smile.

"I am so excited you're tucking me in tonight, Daddy. I really, really missed you."

"I missed you too, baby. Let's get you under these covers. Snickers too?"

"She likes to sleep on the end of my bed."

"Alright. You good? Do you want me to read to you?"

"No, but can you stay in here with me until I fall asleep, please? Hold me?"

"Absolutely."

Mike got under the covers and pulled the still small girl close. He remembered Christine's dad telling him once that while being a parent looked hard, it was really very simple. It was just letting the kid know that they were loved. There were other lessons regarding education, responsibility, morals, religion and a thousand other things but love was the very basis. Mike had not been very good at showing his girls that he loved them lately.

"Hannah, I love you so much."

"I love you too, Daddy. I thought you didn't anymore."

"I'm sorry you thought that, sweetie. Was it because I've not been around?"

"Yeah. I'm getting sleepy."

"Okay."

Mike tucked Hannah in closer and kissed her forehead. She was growing into a young lady and he was missing it. He refused to miss so much of her childhood. Hannah finally fell asleep and Mike carefully got out from under her and tucked her back in. Snickers was at the end of the bed and Ruffles was next to her. Despite her growth spurt; she was still small for her age but was quickly gaining ground.

After shutting her bedside lamp off and leaving her door open just a sliver like she liked; he knocked on Adalyn and Lizzie's door. They were both reading before bed and he stepped in and gave them both a kiss goodnight and exchanged 'I love you's' with both of them. He shut their overhead light off for them and they settled into their beds.

He did run downstairs to shut the kitchen light off and checked the doors. He grabbed Christine a chocolate bar out of the fridge and headed back upstairs. As soon as he walked in with the candy bar, her face lit up. She loved chocolate even more when she was pregnant. She sit up and looked like Mike had handed her a diamond instead of a candy bar.

"The babies and I thank you. I think Tess especially likes chocolate."

"Like mother, like daughter. Be right back."

"Hey, Mike?"

"Mmm?"

"No shirt tonight, please?"

"Yes, ma'am." Mike took a quick shower, shaved and came out in his boxers. Christine had finished her chocolate and was grading one of Lizzie's reports. Lizzie would have a lot of trouble in school. The poor girl had a reading level that was lower than Hannah's and her math skills were lacking. Her mother didn't make a point to send her to work; despite her reading and math skills, Lizzie was smart but she had no confidence in herself. There were more red marks on the page than anything else and Mike knew Christine was being generous.

"Even if Hannah and Adalyn go to school, in the fall; I think Lizzie needs to stay home so I can teach her for another year. I just don't know how to tell her that and her not think I am just wanting her to help with the babies or that she isn't smart. She has it in her to succeed but she just has no basis."

"Would it help if I talked to her?"

"Maybe, I don't know. You do have a way with her. She's bright but no one has ever believed in her and so she doesn't believe in herself."

"Her mother had to have been a piece of work."

"I can't understand it. Lucas had issues in school but despite that, we still worked with him and taught him. I can't say for sure but I think Lizzie is dyslexic and I think that she may have some attention issues."

"So how do we fix it?"

"There is no fix. We find something that interests her and go from there. With Lucas it was dinosaurs. With Lizzie, it's cooking. I can cook but nothing like what she can. It's the one area that she's totally confident in."

"Yeah, that roast was delicious and everything else that she's cooked. But how?"

"Well, with cooking comes math and science. What happens when water starts boiling? That type of thing. Also the recipes require reading. The trick isn't going to be teaching her, but in making her think she's capable. When we tell her she isn't going to school with Adalyn, who is her best friend, and Hannah; we will tell her we don't think she's smart. I'm kind of at a loss on this one."

"Remember what that teacher told us with Lucas? 'Just love him.'"

"And that is very true; but I wasn't Lucas' teacher. Sure, I worked with him for hours at a time but I was still just his mom. Not with Lizzie. I'm not only her teacher but also her mom."

"You are going to have your hands full with the triplets. Maybe we should hire a tutor?"

"I don't feel right about that either. Financially speaking, we will be okay but I don't want to take on any extra expenses without me working and I can't work with three babies. It would cost us more in daycare expenses then what I would make."

"True. I just hate you being so overwhelmed."

"We'll figure it out. I just wish I could find the magic answer with Lizzie. There is one with every kid that has learning disabilities. I'd better get to sleep."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Can you hold me?"

"Sure."

Before Christine could turn onto her side; Mike pulled her shirt up and kissed her belly three times. He had figured out where Tess's head was and he managed to land that kiss there. Christine guided him to where Taya and Liam were and he gave them both a kiss as well. All three babies were kicking wildly and Christine knew it would be a restless night for her. It was too bad Mike wasn't a calming influence with them. Mike put her shirt back over her stomach and helped her turn to her side. He laid on the opposite side from the night before so that she was facing him. Christine burrowed her face into his shoulder and wrapped both arms around him. He had one hand on her belly and the other arms around her. Despite being so uncomfortable, Christine was completely settled and fell asleep quickly.


	33. Chapter 33

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 33

The group had gifted Mike and Christine with three infant car seats and boxes of diapers and wipes. Carol had confirmed that they definitely needed gender neutral and double the amount of girl items. Mike and Christine had liked the idea of a surprise but they also needed to be prepared. Of the three girls; Lizzie was the most excited about the shopping trip. Hannah had caught a mild cold and Adalyn conveniently decided that Christine didn't need exposed to it. She would stay and care for the fussy young girl. Hannah didn't care for being quarantined from her mother at all and Mike was keeping his distance so that he didn't expose Christine. Adalyn did a good job with her but when Hannah was not feeling well; she become even more of a "Momma's girl." Carol had even explained it to her but Hannah really wanted her mom or at the very least; her dad.

As worried as Mike was about Hannah; it would also be good to have a day with Lizzie. He had decided that on the way home; Lizzie would be getting a driving lesson. Christine and he had decided that he would talk to Lizzie about not going to school the next fall and her learning disabilities and he was dreading that. He had watched Lizzie writing a recipe down for Grace on Tuesday night and noticed several letters and numbers that were turned around. That bad part was that Lizzie had thought everything looked okay. Her handwriting was worse than Hannah's and took her a long time to write out a paragraph. It was like she was trying to copy the letters out of the cookbook. The young girl had no idea that she was not writing things properly and had even told Mike that he had wrote an "S" wrong when he signed his name on a check. Lizzie especially liked picking out the baby clothes.

"I never got to do this stuff when my mom had my little brother and sister."

"Well; I hope you're having fun. We need plenty of the white onesies. Those can be used on either gender."

"Okay. I am trying to lean towards greens and yellows since we don't know."

"Mom and I know. We need pinks and blues. Plenty of pinks."

"Two girls and a boy?"

"That's what it sounds like. I know of a boy and a girl and Carol said double the amount of pink."

"Oh, that makes this so much more fun! What about these headbands?"

"We can get some but Mom will keep the babies home a lot so they aren't necessary."

"But what if they look alike?"

"I think we'll know."

"What about these sleepers? They have cotton ones and flannel ones?"

"We need some of both. Since we're having them towards the end of July, it'll be hot but babies sometimes don't retain their heat so we will need the flannel ones. Let's get several cotton for zero to three months, two each of the flannel for zero to three months. If your mom thinks we need more later we'll get them when she's on her feet. Let's also get several of those receiving blankets for swaddling them."

"What's swaddling?"

"Wrapping the blanket around them really tight. Babies loves it because it simulates being in the womb. Your mom is a big believer in swaddling."

"Oh, my birth mom never did that stuff."

"It makes for a happier baby. We also need those mitts for their little hands."

"Why?"

"So they don't scratch their faces and it keeps their hands warm. We also need those caps."

"I know why…because babies lose all their heat out of their heads. My neighbor lady when we had my little brother was always telling me to put his hat on. She knit him several."

"Correct. Also Mom wanted sleeping bags."

"Why? What are sleeping bags?"

"They are like the sleepers only instead of having the feet; they are like a bag with a drawstring. It makes changing them in the middle of the night a lot easier."

"Oh. That makes sense. They have lots of them for girls but not as many for a boy?"

"We'll get a couple boy ones and several pink ones. We can also get a couple of these gender neutral ones."

"Oh, these bib overalls are so cute…please?"

"Sure, get three pairs. We need to look at baby furniture too. And diaper bags. Mom will just want one for the three of them. She also wants glass bottles."

"She isn't breastfeeding?"

"She would prefer to; but Carol doesn't want her to. Plus breastfeeding one baby is rough on the mom's body, three would be really hard. And pacifiers. Mom doesn't like them but Dad says so."

"Will they all sleep in the same crib?"

"No. Three separate cribs. Your mom has ordered a bassinet for three babies. When they are little; they won't like being separated and it also allows us to keep the babies with us in our room to begin with. It makes it easier for your mom too. "

"My real mom never thought of that stuff. My brother and sister just slept in my room and I took care of them. It's weird knowing you guys are doing all this and that I don't have to."

"It's your mom and I's job to take care of them. It's just your job to love them. There will always be a baby needing held and we will need you girls to help but it'll be me and Mom doing the biggest part of the care. Alright; I think we're done at this store. On to the next. Let's get checked out. You hungry?"

"A little. I'm a little worried about Mom. When we go to school, she'll be all by herself with three babies. I want to stay home with her."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I don't like school. Adalyn and Hannah are really excited to go but Adalyn knows how to read."

"You know how to read."

"No. I just memorize the letters and listen to Adalyn read. I have a good memory and just memorize the pages. I don't really know what it says. I do the same thing when I write the letters. I just imitate what's on the page. I don't know what I'm writing."

"Did you not tell Mom this?"

"No. You guys have already done so much and I didn't want to bother you all with it. It was hard to pretend. I'm too old and stupid to learn now anyway."

"You are not stupid. The fact that you can memorize like that proves that. I'll help you learn. I taught Lucas how to read. He had a lot of issues too."

"Mom will have a lot to do though. She won't have time to teach me."

"I will. We need to go by a bookstore too."

"You know, I really want to read to the triplets. I couldn't ever do that with my brother and sister. And we didn't have any books either. Mom loves books doesn't she?"

"She does. And you will. How have you cooked?"

"Most of the stuff I cook, people have told me too. When I go off a recipe, it's a lot harder but I usually have Hannah help me with the measuring. She doesn't know that I don't know how to. What about school?"

"Mom and I were going to talk to you about that anyway. Mom wants you to stay home another year. We didn't want you to think that it was because of the babies. She thinks you need the one on one."

"Okay. I really didn't want to go but Adalyn is so excited about it. I don't want her or Hannah to know I don't know how to read. I know I'm stupid but I don't want anyone else to know it."

"Sweetheart, you are not stupid. You just haven't ever had anyone who has loved you enough to help you or believe in you. Your mom and I do love you and believe that you can do anything you set your mind to. The only thing we can ask; is that you believe that you can do this. If you don't, then there is a huge chance that you won't learn this. We are not keeping you home for help with the babies or because we think you're not capable. You have had Christine believing that you know how to read. That shows how much you're capable of. Sixteen and seventeen year olds can be very cruel and you need help. Help that Mom and I are capable of giving. Sending you to school, knowing how much trouble you're having would be very poor parenting on our part. Normally there would be help there but there won't be so it's up to Mom and I."

"I love you guys. I'm actually kind of excited about this. But how are you going to explain it to Hannah and Adalyn?"

"I'm not sure."

"I know it sounds silly but I really don't want them to know this. I want it to be just between you, Mom and I right now."

"We will figure it out. How did you read the text messages of your phone?"

"Oh, that was super simple. My phone has this thing that will read me the texts. I just put my headphones on and listen to it so no one knows. It also has talk to text so that's how I respond."

"I know Mom as given you tests that she wouldn't let Adalyn help with. How'd you do that?"

"Not well. I failed all those, same with the reports."

"I see."

"You can say it; I'm stupid."

"No, you aren't. You've convinced dozens of people, including your mom; that you can read. "

"So, you're mad? Or Mom will be?"

"No and she won't be either. I'm honestly impressed."

"How? I tricked you guys."

"No, you convinced us. There's a difference. The one thing I will say and I will only say in one time; so you need to remember it; when you have an issue; you come to Mom or I. Mom has stressed herself about your schoolwork. I know it seems difficult to you but the fix will be simple. You and I will just have to have patience with one another. And don't worry about Mom stressing either. She does that. Since what happened with White, she doesn't have as much confidence in herself and she was seeing you not doing well as a personal failure. It's not for either of you and we will have you reading to the triplets in no time at all."

"How are you so sure?"

"Because when I set my mind to something; it happens. You'll read."

"One teacher tried. Mrs. Emerson. I was just starting to understand it when we moved. My real mom held me out of school because she had just had my little sister for six months. By the time I went back; I had forgotten everything and the teacher at my new school didn't care."

"How much school did you go to?"

"No kindergarten, during first grade; I got to go to the first quarter and then my mom had my little brother. No second grade, a little third, no fourth, fifth or sixth. A little seventh. Then the Red Flu hit. My mom carried my school transcripts with us and told everyone we moved a lot and she homeschooled me."

"Alright."

"Are you sure you're not mad?"

"Positive."

"It actually feels better now that someone knows. I didn't know how I was going to keep it up."

"No need to worry about that now. Let's find food."

"I am hungry."

"Me too."

They had finished up at the store and had been sitting in the truck for quite a while. Mike really hurt for the young girl and he wasn't quite sure that he was the right person to teach her to read. Lucas had been much younger but Lizzie had a true desire to learn. She was also a lot smarter than she gave herself credit for. They picked a burger place and while Lizzie went to the restroom; Mike texted Christine to update her and check on Hannah and her.

 _"How are my girls?"_

 _"Hannah is good. Her fever finally broke. Adalyn is keeping a close eye on her."_

 _"Good, I meant you too."_

 _"I am good. Just visiting with Grace and Carol."_

 _"Good. Glad they are there. I talked to Lizzie."_

 _"And? She's probably heartbroken."_

 _"No. She didn't want to go to school. She can't read. She just memorizes things but has no comprehension."_

 _"Wow. I would have never guessed that."_

 _"She doesn't want Adalyn or Hannah to know. Her big goal is that she'll be able to read to the triplets. We will stop by a bookstore on the way home. Dr. Suess like with Lucas?"_

 _"Yep. She's a bit old for it but we will make it work."_

 _"I promised her I would help her."_

 _"I'll let you. You did good with Lucas. I'll help like I did with Lucas. You have a gift for this and a way with Lizzie. She trusts you."_

 _"She loves you too. She's scared that we're mad at her for not telling us. She's coming back to the table now."_

 _"Okay. Not mad. Just shocked. See you in a couple hours. I love you."_

 _"I love you too."_

Lizzie barely glanced at the menu that the waitress handed her and just pointed at a picture of a bacon cheeseburger and asked for French Fries. Mike had realized that it was how she handled situations like eating out. It was actually kind of amazing. They had gotten off the subject of her reading skills and discussed what else they needed to get for the babies. Christine had texted him and asked to make sure he got a rocking chair. It was a necessity.

After lunch, they went to a bookstore and found the Dr. Suess books that Mike had taught Lucas with and some workbooks on handwriting. On the drive to the furniture store; Lizzie seemed genuinely excited looking through the books. She did pick out a few words but it was simple words like "the," "and," and like words. It still gave Mike a basis to work from.

At the furniture store they found three matching cribs, a changing table, the requested rocking chair and a playpen. Mike would have preferred to make the furniture but didn't have the time. He would be making a cabinet to store diapers and wipes. The store also had baby bedding and Lizzie found a gender neutral ones that they could get three of and a pair of curtains. Mike texted the pictures to Christine for her approval. She sent him a thumbs up sign. He knew not being able to decorate the nursery was really bothering her so he made a point to include her in the selections. Lizzie also found a matching area rug for the floor and they were done shopping.

When Mike and Lizzie got home, she carried the bags of baby's clothes and accessories to Christine so she could look through them. Mike carried the boxes of furniture up. He would have hours of furniture assembly of him. He had moved the craft items out of the extra bedroom but promised Lizzie that he would find her a new area. The older girls were downstairs cooking and so he walked into his and Christine's bedroom. She was looking at all the items and smiling.

"I hope everything is okay?"

"Yeah. It's perfect. I just wish I could have helped pick stuff out."

"I hate that you couldn't. I only got up to three months. I figured you would want to pick out everything else and I'm sure there are some things we'll still need."

"Looks okay to me. I wish I could breastfeed them."

"I know you do. You loved being able to do that with our older kids. Carol is pretty against it though, isn't she?"

"Yeah. She's adamant. Can you go check on Hannah? She's still upset that she can't be around me. Carol said once she has been fever free for twenty four hours, she can but she doesn't want me to catch her bug."

"Will do. I've kept my distance too so I didn't pass it to you. Poor kid."

"Mmm-Hmm."

Mike bent down and kissed Christine. She was thoroughly enjoying looking at all the baby clothes and so Mike made his way to Hannah's room. She was sitting on her window seat looking outside. He walked up beside her and tapped her on the shoulder. Her face was kind of tear splotched and when she turned and saw Mike, she immediately jumped up wanting a hug. He picked her up and held her close, sitting on the end of her bed.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"I miss you and Mommy. When can I go spend time with Mommy?"

"Your fever broke today and as long as you don't start running another one, tomorrow. I know you miss Mommy but she can't get sick right now. It could really hurt her and the babies."

"It's not fair."

"I know, baby and I'm sorry. Mommy misses you too. How are you feeling?"

"Okay?"

"Hannah, if you don't feel good, tell me. That way, I can get you the right medicine."

"But if I tell you, you won't let me around Mommy and you won't come around."

"And the longer you don't have medicine, the worse it will get and it'll be even longer before you can see your mom. Tell me what's wrong, Hannah."

"My head hurts really bad. When you turned my light on, it hurts my eyes and everything sounds like crinkly paper. I hate it!"

"Okay. I have those kind of headaches sometimes. Tell you what, let me shut this light off and lay down here in bed. I'll go tell Mom what's wrong, get you some supper and I'll eat in here with you and then I'll lie down next to you until you go to sleep, okay?"

"I want Mommy."

"I know, sweetie. I'm sorry."

Mike laid her back down on her bed and shut the light off before he left the room. He wasn't sure rather to tell Christine how badly Hannah wanted her. She would do what any mother would do and have Mike bring their sick and upset child in; and expose herself to whatever illness Hannah was fighting. If he didn't tell Christine, he would be in the dog house. Lizzie and Adalyn were downstairs finishing dinner so Mike headed back into the master bedroom. Christine was sorting through baby clothes and blankets and making a list of what was still needed.

"Babe?"

"Yeah, Hannah okay?"

"She has a migraine, or what sounds like one. I told her that I would stay in there with her but she wants you. How strict is that twenty four hour rule on her fever breaking?"

"Doesn't matter, we're breaking it. Bring her in here with me."

"Chrissy, I understand but you could expose yourself to whatever she has. I can take care of her but she is crying for you."

"My baby is crying for me. GO! I am her mother and it's my job to take care of her."

"Yes, ma'am. Just remember, she's my baby too and it's my job to care for her too." He walked out of their bedroom. Mike knew she hadn't meant it the way it sounded and he also knew that when kids were sick; they wanted their mother. It had still made him feel like he wasn't capable of caring for Hannah and that hurt. Hannah was lying in bed with her eyes squeezed shut. Mike bent over and gently picked her up.

"I'm taking you to your mom. Just keep those eyes shut."

"Ruffles and Snickers?"

"I'll come back and get them. Just lay your head on my shoulder and relax."

"Daddy, are you mad at me because I want Mommy?"

"No, sweetie. I just wish I could be the one you want too. Here we are."

Hannah kissed his cheek before he laid her down beside Christine and walked back out to get her teddy bear and kitten without saying anything else. Christine had been concentrating on Hannah and hadn't acknowledged him at all. He hadn't really expected anything different from her because Hannah needed to be her priority. Mike grabbed the requested stuffed animal and the kitten. He could hear Hannah and Christine talking as he approached and as soon as he walked in; Hannah patted the bed beside her.

"Daddy, can you stay in here too? I'm sorry I made you sad. I love you."

"Sure. I love you too."

Mike sit down next to Hannah and wrapped an arm around her. Hannah had her eyes shut and Christine was massaging her temple. It was the same thing that she would do to Mike when he had a migraine. Before too long, Hannah's breathing evened out indicating that she was sleeping. There was an air of tension in the air and Mike hesitated even questioning what he had screwed up.

"You okay?"

"Mike, I'm six months, almost seven months, along with triplets. I am stuck in bed while I have a sick child and another child who is struggling with school work. All because you forgot the condom."

"You know, I am just going to go downstairs. I'll help the girls with dinner and if you or Hannah need anything, just holler. I'll sleep down there tonight."

"Nice, always running away from our issues."

"No. I'm not. But I refuse to argue with you and upset you more so. It's easier to just walk away until your mood changes. It's easier for you and the babies."

"Always the martyr."

"Chrissy, I love you but I am not going to argue with you. I'll come up before bedtime to check on Hannah and see if you need anything. It's best if I keep my distance so you and I can both cool off. I'll send the girls up with your dinner."

Christine was fuming again and Mike just hoped she would calm herself down. He was ready for her not to be pregnant. The moods were far worse than they had been with their older kids. She had always been very happy when she was pregnant but triplets were a bit much for anyone. He was exhausted.

Adalyn and Lizzie had supper finished and Adalyn opted to eat upstairs with Christine. Lizzie decided to stay downstairs with Mike and Hannah would eat when she woke up. As they ate; he worked with Lizzie on her letters. She knew how to sound them out and understood how to form a word. It would be slow going because Mike and Lizzie both had a lack of patience working against them.

Two hours in, he drew the lesson to a close. He had a good idea where Lizzie was at and it was overwhelming. She was determined to at least be able to read one of the Dr. Suess books to the triplets and that would be the biggest help. Adalyn had come downstairs with the supper dishes and told Mike that Hannah was awake and asking for him. The girls started cleaning up and Mike headed upstairs just praying his wife would be in a better mood. When he walked in, Hannah was sitting up on the bed looking at the baby clothes and Christine was nowhere around.

"Where's Mom? Do you feel okay?"

"She had to go to the bathroom. She said Tess was kicking her bladder around. My head feels better."

"Good. Tess is good at that."

Mike walked to the bathroom door and knocked on it. He could hear the shower running and knew Christine wouldn't hear him. Hannah was happily sorting through the clothes and paying no attention so he slipped into the bathroom. Christine had just turned the water off and he handed her the towel.

"Mike, what are you doing in here?"

"Checking on you."

"It couldn't wait five minutes? Can you hand me that nightgown?"

"Sure." Mike handed her the nightgown and robe and waited while she put them on. He normally wouldn't have intruded but he wanted things settled. He had told Christine he would sleep downstairs but he didn't want to. "Chrissy, I know I said I would sleep downstairs, but I didn't really want to. I love you and I know you're tired and stressed. And yes, it is my fault. I will do anything to make this pregnancy easier on you. I told you that Hannah was asking for you because I knew you would want her brought to you. Hannah wouldn't have been happy until she was with you. Please tell me what I can do that will make things better?"

"You can't make the next month and half go by faster. But a fan in here, a foot rub and a piece of chocolate might help."

"I'll run to the store and get the fan and chocolate. Tonight I'll give you a foot rub. Is there anything else?"

"Not at the moment. I doubt that you want to clip my toenails or paint them. I can't reach them anymore."

"Okay, no problem. Anything else? Full body massage?"

"That would be wishful thinking on my part."

"Done. Tissue paper flowers?"

"Again, wishful thinking. Maybe Hannah will sleep in her own bed."

"She's acting like she feels better."

"She is. Mike, I am sorry. I have no idea why I keep saying this stuff. When you said you would sleep downstairs; I was afraid that it was just one foot out the door for you. I have been so cruel to you. You deserve better than me and you should leave. I know you won't abandon the girls or these babies. I ask that you still play a role with them and when it's time for me to have these babies, that you are there. You don't have to hold my hand or anything like that. I know how not being there when Hannah was born bothers you and I don't want you to have the same issues with these babies. I'm giving you you're out if you want it."

"Do you want me to take it?"

"No, Mike. I want you here but you deserve better than what I'm being to you. I've cheated and I've treated you like dirt when all you have done is love and support me."

"I have no intentions of leaving you. This is temporary. In six weeks, we will be up all night because of the babies. In the meantime; I will keep you supplied in chocolate and fans. If you want foot rubs every night, then I will do that. If you want a full body massage, then I will do that too. Or I will hire one of those people. I would prefer to just do it myself but I don't know how relaxing it would be. My point is; I know I am to blame for this and I know you're miserable right now. I wish I could go back in time but I also already love the triplets and I know that you do too. We will get through this and we will have three beautiful babies to show for it. And again, you didn't cheat. You were taken advantage of and raped. You sacrificed yourself to save our daughter and I will always love you for it. Because of the hell you went through; we still have that little girl in there and we have Lizzie and Adalyn. I cannot imagine my life without those girls in it. I don't want to live life without you so yes, I would let you do or so whatever you need to. You are the most loving, gentle, and compassionate person I know and right now you are frustrated. I would rather you take it out on me then on one of the girls; not that you would ever do that, or stew on it because that won't help these babies. Now let's go get you back in bad. I will run into the city and find that stuff but I want you to rest in the meantime."

"Mike, I love you."

"I love you too."

Christine had cried most of the way throughout his speech and he finally pulled her into a huge hug. She sobbed into his chest for a couple minutes and the babies were kicking like crazy, so much so, that Mike started laughing. It broke the mood and he finally pulled away but kept an arm around her, guiding her to the bed. He helped her settle. Thankfully Hannah didn't make any mention of why her mom and dad had been in the bathroom so long. She had already decided that she would sleep in her own bedroom. Mike tucked her in after kisses from both her mom and dad. The older girls were already in their room for the night. Mike explained that he had to run into town for Christine and would be back within an hour. They didn't question anything and didn't need anything. He gave Christine a kiss and headed out to her steadily growing list of needs. Thankfully he had the next day off.


	34. Chapter 34

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 34

"Another one of your hidden talents, foot rubs and painting my toenails. And you picked a pretty color."

"I just grabbed ten of 'em. I think the cashier thought I lost my mind. Lotion okay?"

"It's all perfect. Did you do this all on your own?"

"I will admit I texted Carol to make sure it was safe to do all this. Wouldn't hurt you or the babies. I did not mention the bubble bath."

"That was a spur of the moment thing. I surprised me that you got in with me. Baths aren't really your thing. You will smell like lavender."

"Easier to rub your back and I'm enjoying it. When's the last time we did this?"

"Honeymoon."

"It's been too long."

"You won't think that when you have to help me out of the bathtub. Can you massage right there in the small of my back…oh that's perfect. Not so small now, is it?"

"You are perfect."

"I'm as big as a barn, Mike."

"You're all belly and I love it."

"Losing this belly will not be fun."

"You will look beautiful then. No different than now."

"I'm not sure why you're trying to stack brownie points but we can't do anything about it right now."

"Is it working?"

"Well, if these babies are born in six weeks, and another six weeks for me to recover, you will find out in about twelve weeks."

"I can't wait."

"Me either. I've missed this and I know it's stupid."

"I have too. I don't think it's stupid. I'm proud of the fact that you and I are so…intimate. Most couples that have been married this long barely touch each other and we can't keep our hands off one another."

"Me too. Just keep me supplied with chocolate and I do have every intention to repeat this night when I am not so hugely pregnant."

"We will definitely be repeating this. Being behind you like this doesn't allow to massage your front."

"It's okay. I don't really need it. I just realized I hadn't given you a backrub in months."

"Tonight is all about you."

"So what are your other plans?"

"What would you like me to do?"

"Hmm. At the moment, help me out of bathtub. My skin is all wrinkled up."

"Yes, ma'am. I'm getting up now."

Christine felt Mike standup behind her and get out of the bathtub. He put a towel around his waist and reached down to help her out of the tub. It was a bit of a feat and she wouldn't be repeating a bubble bath while she was still pregnant. While he drained the water out of the bathtub and cleaned it, she put her nightgown and robe on and brushed her teeth. It had been a much better night and very romantic. Mike had soaked her feet, cut her toenails, polished them and even shaved her legs for her since she couldn't reach to do it. During the bath, he had given her a back massage. He had also got her a huge sack full of chocolate candy, a couple books, and a fan and had gotten tissue to make the flowers.

Christine took her robe off and settled into bed. Mike was also getting ready for bed. It was almost two am and they needed to sleep. He came in and pulled her nightgown up beyond the sheets so he could kiss her belly. The triplets had been kicking all night and Mike would only wake them up more. He dropped three kisses on her belly and then leaned up to give her a kiss before lying down. He made a point to sleep on the side so that she was facing him. She laid her head on his shoulder and he put a hand on her belly. One of the babies gave him a firm kick.

"I don't know how you sleep with them doing that?"

"It isn't easy. They usually settle a bit when they don't hear your voice."

"I guess this is you telling me to shut up?"

"The longer you keep talking, the longer they keep kicking and so I will be awake and will keep you awake. It's a vicious cycle."

"Point made. Do you feel better?"

"Yes. Much. Does the fan bother you?"

"No, it's good. I'm hot natured so it is probably a good idea to have it. I know one thing for absolute certain. We are doing this again."

"I don't want to try another bath while I'm still pregnant. Too hard to get out."

"We'll do that after you have the babies. The foot rubs and back massage."

"I notice you didn't mention shaving my legs, clipping my toenails or lotioning my feet? Or painting the toenails?"

"If you need me to, I will. I won't brag on that paint job though. You might have one of the girls touch it up. I put the polish over there on your nightstand. I've never painted a toenail."

"I'm sure you did fine."

"You can't see them thankfully."

"Well, I'm sure they are fine. It was a very sweet thing that you did."

"Sshh…I don't want any of the guys to know."

"Because you've set the bar so high on being a great husband? I can't see any of your friends giving their wives a foot rub or taking a bubble bath with her without anticipating a payoff. You did all that knowing, as you say; you wouldn't be getting laid tonight."

"It honestly never occurred to me. I just wanted you to feel better. Do they know how big the babies are?"

"Baby A or Liam is about four and half pounds, Baby B or Taya is four pounds three ounces and Baby C is exactly four pounds. Carol says Tess will be the runt of the litter."

"She'll grow. That's almost thirteen pounds of baby you're carrying around. No wonder you're miserable."

"And they will only get heavier. I am really worried about Tess."

"Did Carol say something?"

"She just said that in multiple birth situations, sometimes one of the babies doesn't do so well. She thinks she'll be okay but may have a rough start. It's scary. I know I shouldn't go to the worst case scenario so quickly but we are already so attached to her. I don't want to see any of them suffering. I've watched two of our kids die and I can't do it again and I don't want you to experience that either."

"Hey, she'll be okay. Don't think like that. We just have to have faith. I'm going to have a little conversation with her."

"Now?"

"She can hear me, correct?"

"I think so."

"Alright, Tess? Young lady, you need to buck up a bit. Help yourself to some of that chocolate your mommy is eating. You have a few more weeks before you can meet us and we want you to take your time. Don't let your brother and sister get in too much of a hurry because you need a bit longer in there. Your mommy is tired but even she agrees you need to sit tight. You are on time out, young lady. You behave and when you are big enough, Daddy will give you all the chocolate you can eat. Mommy and Daddy love you."

Tess gave a strong kick in response and Mike kissed Christine's belly where Tess's head was. Christine was laughing hysterically at Mike's speech. It was hilarious.

"You just gave our daughter her first lecture in utero."

"She needed to know I was putting her on time out."

"And bribing her with chocolate?"

"She eats what you eat."

"It was cute. I think Tess is going to be a daddy's girl."

"I wouldn't mind that. I lost my daddy's girl."

"I think you have a bit of a daddy's girl with Lizzie. Doesn't replace Addy but she loves you."

"Yeah, true. The reading lesson went well. She is absolutely determined to read to the triplets. She said she missed doing that with her brother and sister."

"Once she learns, it'll be a whole new world for her."

"I don't know if I'm the right person to teach her. What do I know?"

"You love her and believe in her. I do too but I think you are the exact person for this job. You are giving her a gift that will stay with her for the rest of her life and every time she picks up a book, reads a sign or menu, balances her checkbook, or measures ingredients for a recipe; she'll be getting that gift all over again. Long after you're gone; the gift will be there. It will open doors for her and allow her a normal life. There is no telling what Lizzie will accomplish. All because of what you are doing."

"But am I stepping on your toes? You are the teacher."

"Her very pregnant teacher knows she can't do everything. Mike, you have a gift for this and it would be silly of me not to acknowledge that. I remember how Lucas lit up when he understood something. He would be so proud of himself and knowing you were proud of him, really helped."

"Do you ever think about what him and Addy would have been if they grew up?"

"I think Lucas would have joined the Navy. Addy, I think would have been a nurse."

"She would have loved the idea of the triplets. She wanted us to have a houseful of kids. She loved being a big sister."

"She was a great big sister. Remember how Lucas would cuddle up in her bed when we started trying to get him to sleep in his own bed. I don't know how many times I would wake up and find them all cuddled up. A couple times, I found Hannah in there too."

"So sweet. I don't know about you but I am getting really tired. That lavender stuff is relaxing."

"You smell pretty."

"Thanks, I think. I hope it wears off before work Monday."

"It might be a little hard to explain. I am getting sleepy too."

"It's been a great night. I love you."

"I love you too."

Mike wrapped both arms around Christine and watched her drift off. The babies were still kicking but seemed a little calmer. It had been an amazing night and one that would be repeated. Mike would never openly admit to taking a bubble bath with his wife, let alone that he had enjoyed it. He finally drifted off to sleep, smiling at the thought that they would be able to hold the babies in about six weeks. There was some concern for the baby that they hadn't even met yet and already loved and called Tess but he had to remain upbeat for Christine.


	35. Chapter 35

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 35

Adalyn had figured out that Lizzie couldn't read on her own. Lizzie had been worried that she would think less of her but she didn't. What Mike lacked in patience; Adalyn had an abundance of. Adalyn was just as determined as Mike that Lizzie would read and between the two of them, they made a team with Christine quietly advising them and keeping Hannah busy. Hannah still didn't know that Lizzie couldn't read and Lizzie had begged that she not find out. Lizzie was embarrassed by not being able to read and had tears in her eyes when she asked Mike and Christine to keep it from Hannah. Thankfully the little girl was oblivious and was having Christine paint her fingernails and toenails in the same shade of pink that Mike had painted Christine's the night before.

"Mommy, Daddy did a really bad job on your toes. Do you want me to fix them?"

"Sure. He was just trying to make me feel better."

"Do you feel bad?"

"Just tired and uncomfortable from the babies. Your daddy got me another bag of chocolate. Do you want to take a peek?"

"Yeah! I love chocolate."

"It's over there." Hannah jumped up off the bed and grabbed the huge sack of candy and dumped it out on the bed. The little girl was entirely too thrilled with the selection of chocolate and Mike had gone way overboard. Hannah selected two pieces and Christine choose a piece before she settled back down next to Christine. Christine put the candy back in the bag and put in on her nightstand.

"Mommy, I hope someday when I'm a lot older that I find someone that loves me like Daddy loves you and will treat me as good as he treats you."

"I hope you find that too, when you're much older."

"How old were you when you and Daddy found each other?"

"I was twenty two when I met your Daddy."

"Did you know that you would get married?"

"Maybe not instantly but it was love at first sight for me."

"Really?"

"Yeah, your daddy was a police officer back then and him and his partner came and gave my class a presentation. I was student teaching back then and he walked in all strong and confident. He hadn't been an officer for long at that point. After the presentation; he went to give me a handshake and passed me his cellphone number. I called him when I got out of class and we went out for dinner. I had been on a couple other dates before your daddy but they were uncomfortable. Our first date was fun; we went to the Navy Pier and rode the ferris wheel. Ate pretzels and watched the boats. The next Saturday we went out again, that time to a music festival. He wanted to go out the next day but I had church. Most guys don't want to go to church and especially when they also have to meet their girlfriend's parents at the same time. Your dad had no issue and your grandpa loved him. Grandpa told me later that he would be marrying us by the end of the year. That was late May and in December; you're dad and I got married."

"That's so cool. He was kind of like your Prince Charming?"

"Sort of. No relationship is perfect. Your dad and I have had rough times too but he has always been amazing to me and I hope you find someone similar in many years. Every girl deserves a love like I've had with your dad."

"That's so sweet. Daddy really needs to learn how to polish your toenails though. He is horrible at it."

"I knew when he was painting them that it wouldn't be the best job but it was a very sweet and kind gesture."

"What are he, Lizzie and Adalyn doing?"

"He's helping Lizzie with some school work and Adalyn is helping. He'll spend some time with you later if that's what you're worried about."

"Oh, it's okay. Lizzie hasn't ever had a good dad and Adalyn hasn't in a long time. I've had Daddy my whole life. I can share him. I just hope that when the babies are born; you both will still have time for me."

"Of course we will. Just because we have them; doesn't mean we will love you less. You are an amazing little girl and your daddy and I love you very much."

"I love you and Daddy too. Will you have any more babies after the triplets are born?"

"I doubt it."

"Okay. What are their names?"

"Doctor Carol thinks its two girls and a boy. The little boy's name will be William Michael but we're calling him Liam. Then there is Taya Hope and Tess Catherine."

"Those are pretty names. I really like Tess's name."

"Me too. Tess is up here, feel her? Taya is here and Liam is right here." Christine had Hannah's hand on her belly and was directing it to where the babies were kicking. Each baby rewarded her with a strong kick and Hannah had a huge smile on her face. It was the same look that Mike got when he felt the babies kick. Hannah leaned down to where she was at eye level with Christine's stomach.

"Hey, Liam, Taya and Tess, it's me, your big sister, Hannah. I can't wait to meet you guys but you are still really small so you have to wait. Mommy is finding room for you guys in there even though her guts are getting scrunched up. I'll make sure Mommy eats plenty of chocolate so you get big and strong. I love you guys!"

Christine smiled down at Hannah and pulled her into a big hug. Hannah put her head on Christine's chest and both hands on her belly. She quickly fell asleep, feeling the babies kicking and Christine, while uncomfortable; decided to just leave her. She laid there for probably a half hour and held Hannah close. Mike walked in with the lunch tray and instantly smiled at his wife and daughter.

"She is adorable."

"She is. We need to make a point to spend some time with her before the babies are born. For me, it's easy but not you so much."

"I was thinking of taking her out next weekend. Just her and I?"

"Good idea. She needs some 'daddy time.'"

"I need some 'Hannah time.' Do you want me to wake her up so you can eat?"

"I hate to but yes. She's really burrowed in."

"She's cute. Hannah, sweetie, time to wake up. If you want to sleep some more, I'll hold you but Mommy needs to eat for the babies." Hannah woke up and looked at Mike a little grumpily but sit up and as soon as Mike sit down the lunch tray so Christine could eat, she jumped into his arms. He sit down next to Christine and Hannah laid her head on his chest and wrapped both arms around his neck. Within less than five minutes, she was sound asleep.

"What are the girls doing?"

"Lizzie is working on her reading and Adalyn is doing laundry. They kicked me out of the kitchen."

"I'll thank them later."

"Haha. I can cook."

"Mike, you are an amazing husband and father but your one failing is in the kitchen. No one is perfect and that is where your one imperfection lies."

"You are being too nice. Definitely have more than that failing."

"I will argue with you on that. Especially after last night. Hannah did say she would fix my toenails but she fell asleep first."

"They do look pretty horrible. I knew one of the girls would take pity on you."

"I'm proud of them. Not many wives can say that their husband would do that for them."

"Well most husbands don't have the wife I have. I figured I would give you a foot rub tonight and lotion anywhere you can't reach. You said you didn't want to try the bath again while you are still pregnant, maybe a shower?"

"Mike, I take a shower every day."

"Not with me."

"I see."

"We don't have to if you don't want to."

"I'd love to. The fact that you want to while I'm all fat and pregnant is amazing."

"Well I am the one that knocked you up so I'd better just deal with it. Besides you aren't fat. You're beautiful."

"Hannah told me earlier that she hoped someday she found someone who loved her like you love me."

"I hope that is many years in the future for her but I hope the same thing. Everyone deserves a love like this."

Christine leaned forward and gave Mike a soft kiss. Hannah had wrapped her arms a little more tightly around Mike's neck and laid her head on his shoulder and he kissed the top of her head.

"She said you were my Prince Charming."

"Oh, that's hilarious."

"I had told her how we met and that it was love at first sight for me. She's intrigued."

"It was for me too. My partner; he and his wife had been married for like twenty years and he picked up on it. While the kids were occupied; he told me to give you my number or he would."

"Jim was quite the guy and I just loved his wife. Alice. I think she taught me how to be a cop's wife."

"He was who called me when you're parents were killed. He was still on patrol and remembered their names from the wedding. He didn't want you to answer the door and find some unknown cop. He knew it would scare you, that it was me. He called my lieutenant at the same time and she broke me free from the investigation I was on."

"Jim and Alice showed up at the door. And you were ten minutes behind them. She wouldn't leave me until you got there. Amazing woman. She was wearing a scarf that day. Told me later that she had fourth stage breast cancer and had just finished her chemotherapy. She was upset because she couldn't lift Addy up. Jim picked her up and put her on Alice's lap. She really loved Addy."

"She died just before I left for basic. There were hundreds of cops and their wives at her funeral. They never had kids of their own but she had 'mother hen'd' so many of the rookies and helped a lot of the wives. All the way up the ranks was there. I think Addy had a cold and that's why you couldn't be there."

"Yeah, I hated missing it. Incredible lady."

"She was. I wonder what happened to Jim."

"We lost touch with a lot of people and since the Red Flu; probably a lot of them have died."

"Most likely. He would be laughing at me if he knew I had more or less returned to police work after all these years."

"He would be proud of you. And you are wrong about something."

"What's that?"

"You are my Prince Charming."

"Cute then you're my Queen of Hearts."

"And Hannah is your princess?"

"Yep, and Lizzie, Adalyn, Taya and Tess. And Liam will be our little prince."

"Five girls, Mike. You are going to have your hands full. Between Lizzie's red hair, Adalyn's dimples and Hannah's smile; you're doomed. And who knows with Tess and Taya."

"Well, Addy and Hannah looked…or look like you so I bet these girls will too. They will be just as beautiful."

"And Liam will be just as handsome as his daddy."

"Poor kid."

"I am sure some girl will agree with me some day."

"I'm ready to meet them."

"Me too but they need to grow some more. Hannah is talking to them now too."

"Do they love her voice?"

"They were kicking pretty hard. And I have to go to the bathroom again."

"Need help up?"

"I can do it. Hannah is comfortable and I don't want to disturb her. I just can't wait until I can sleep like that on you."

"Well, as much I love Hannah; I would prefer that it was you."

"Please don't tell her that."

"I won't. She is my princess after all."

"You are so sweet. And I am going to waddle into the bathroom now. No quacking noises please?"

"Have I ever?"

"Yes, when I was pregnant with Addy. You must have learned your lesson after that."

"I did. Holler if you need help."

"Gross, Mike."

Christine shut the bathroom door behind her and Mike smiled into Hannah's hair. The movement on the bed was enough to wake her up and she snuggled even closer to Mike and yawned. He really needed to get up and go out to build the cabinet Christine wanted for baby supplies. He had spent a little time putting one of the cribs together but still had two more to go, along with the changing table, rocking chair and the bassinet. He needed to get busy. Thankfully the extra bedroom was painted a light green which would be suitable for both genders and matched the bedding and curtains that Lizzie had picked out.

"Sweetie, I need to go out to the shop and build the cabinet for the babies. Do you want to help me?"

"Yeah! What color are we painting it?"

"We're just building it right now. Since the cribs and changing table are white; then probably white."

"We need to get out there and get it built."

"Let's wait until your mom comes back in."

Christine waddled back in and turned her fan on higher as she walked by it. At barely five foot tall; she was all belly. She was rubbing her back and Mike decided to give her a back rub right then.

"Hannah, I'm gonna help Mommy with her back. You can stay in here but if you want to go downstairs and wait for me; you can do that too."

"I'll go downstairs. I want to see what Adalyn and Lizzie are doing. Mommy, I'll fix your toenails later."

"Okay, sweetheart."

Hannah ran out of their bedroom and Mike helped Christine sit down on the bed and got in behind her. He slowly worked the muscles with his large hands but was also gentle at the same time.

"You know, Mike, this is all very romantic and considering that I still have that one craving that we can't exactly partake in right now, it's a bit frustrating for me."

"Sorry, I thought it was helping your back."

"It is. But between back and foot rubs, baths and showers together and painting my toenails; you are going to be a very exhausted man in about twelve weeks."

"Yeah, having three babies will be exhausting."

"Not what I meant."

"Oh-oh! That sounds…fun."

"It will be. Small of my back please?"

"Yes ma'am. Hannah and I are going to work on the cabinet for the diapers and wipes. Do you want doors on it?"

"No. Will be easier when I am wrangling the three of them to not have to worry about a door. Sometimes changing a six month old can be interesting."

"I haven't changed a diaper since Lucas was a baby."

"Me either. Should be interesting."

"We will get through it together. I love you."

"I love you. Can you help me get settled before you go out?"

"I love you too. And absolutely."

Mike eased Christine back onto the pillows, handed her the bag of chocolate and the book she was reading and gave her a kiss. He pointed the fan at her and grabbed his phone so she could text him if she needed anything. She was already nodding off before he even made it out the door. The girls were downstairs decorating a cake but Hannah seemed to only want to spend time with him so they headed outside to the shed to make the cabinet.


	36. Chapter 36

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 36

Christine was doing a little research while Mike was at work. The girls were working on school assignments and Christine decided to look for Jim Patterson, Mike's old partner and mentor. She figured Jim had died but she was wrong and it was shocking how easy it was to find his phone number. She decided to call him more to catch up.

 _"Is this Jim Patterson?"_

 _"Yes, who is this?"_

 _"You may not remember me. My name is Christine Slattery. My husband, Mike, was one of your trainees from several years ago."_

 _"Oh, Chrissy and Mike! Yes, I remember you two. What's that husband of yours up to? I heard he was on the ship that brought the cure home. Only Mike could have accomplished something like that. How are you and the kids?"_

 _"Mike is good. We're in St. Louis now, or actually southwest of St. Louis. We have a farm. He's still in the Navy but the President has him investigating some stuff right now. We lost Lucas to the Red Flu and Addy to pneumonia almost a year ago. We adopted two girls, Adalyn and Lizzie and still have Hannah. I also am pregnant with triplets. Due in about a month or so."_

 _"Well, I'll be darned. I'm sorry about Addy and Lucas. And Mike back investigating? Would have never thought he would go back to that."_

 _"It's on the amount of the sex trade that happened after the Red Flu. I got caught in a situation and Adalyn and Lizzie were part of the same ring that I was forced into. And you know how Mike is with kids."_

 _"I do. I hate that you've been through that. I'm actually close to you all. I retired some years ago and turned into a bit of a hermit. Bought a place southeast of Springfield. About three and a half hours from you. I'd love for you all to visit."_

 _"I'd love that and I know Mike would too but I'm on bed rest and once the babies get here; road trips will be a headache. You are more than welcome here though."_

 _"I may just take you up on that. See if I can teach Mikey some stuff on these investigations. Can't take the cop out me."_

 _"As it is, I couldn't take the cop out of Mike either. We'd love to have you. What are you doing this Saturday? I'm not much of a hostess right now but our Lizzie is quite the cook and I might convince Mike to let me lay on the couch since you don't have to spend all your time in our bedroom."_

 _"That would be odd."_

 _"Well, I'm pretty huge so getting down the steps will be interesting but I am getting sick of seeing the same four walls."_

 _"Well, that husband of yours had better be treating you good. I'll beat him within an inch of his life if he isn't."_

 _"Mike is amazing. Foot rubs, back rubs, the whole nine yards."_

 _"Good boy. You're his better half."_

 _"Well, I think the same about him."_

 _"Trust me; I saw some of his girlfriends before he got with you. You are definitely an improvement. He needed a good girl then and now. Plus you're the better looking one of the couple."_

 _"Well, thank you. I can text you our address? What time should we expect you Saturday?"_

 _"Bright and early. Nine am. No beauty rest for Mikey."_

 _"He needs some guy time. He works around women, lives with four women and two of the triplets are girls."_

 _"Well, there is one boy in the mix."_

 _"Yeah. Thankfully."_

 _"I'll be there. It's been great talking to you, Chrissy."_

 _"It's been great talking to you too, Jim. I can't wait to see you too."_

Christine hung up the phone and smiled. It had really been nice to hear Jim's voice and she knew that it would do Mike some good to talk to another cop. The stress of the investigations was really getting to him and Jim had been very proactive about telling his officers that he trained to get help when they needed it. He had rewritten a lot of the policies concerning PTSD for officers and detectives in the Chicago Police Department and had extensive training in peer support. Mike would never admit it, but he was struggling. He had help from the group but it didn't take away the pictures that he had to look at it on a daily basis or the things he heard or read. It was the one thing that Christine could do for Mike. Lizzie came in with Christine's lunch and Christine had her sit down with her while she ate. She would need help.

"So, I invited a friend of your dad's to visit Saturday. An old training officer of his. Is there any way you can plan something special to eat Saturday. He'll be here at nine am and will most likely stay all day, maybe even overnight."

"Okay. I may need help reading the cookbooks. Does Dad know?"  
"No. I'd like it to be a surprise. And I'll help you."

"It's more the abbreviations that are causing me trouble. I'm figuring out the words but then they put the shortened words in and it's hard to figure out."

"You'll get there. Or, bring the cookbooks and recipes up that you want to fix and I'll recopy them so you can understand them better?"

"That might help."

"Okay. Just bring them to me. I really appreciate you doing this. You okay? You seem quiet."

"I'm okay. Hannah keeps asking why I can't go to school with them. I hate having to lie to her."

"Do you want to go to school? Dad tells me every day how good you're doing."

"I don't want to go. I just don't like lying to her but I also don't want her to think I'm stupid. It's bad enough that you and Dad and Adalyn know it but Hannah is just a kid."

"Sweetie, no one thinks you're stupid. What we think is that you are amazing, beautiful, smart, resourceful, generous, loving, and sweet. How about this? I will tell Hannah why you aren't going to school. Hannah has a huge heart and she will only want to help you, she won't judge you for it, I promise. She will figure this out eventually anyways and it would just be easier to just tell her so there are no hurt feelings."

"I guess. I know Adalyn is her favorite but I just don't want her to think less of me."

"Hannah loves you too. Sure, she and Adalyn are close but she loves you the same. And look on the bright side, you will be home all the time with the babies and you'll be their favorite. Dad and I don't expect you to care for them but we also know you and you'll jump in. And I will let you in on a little secret?"

"What?"

"Dad doesn't have favorites but he is especially proud of you. He loves you the same as he loves Hannah and Adalyn but you have a pretty special place in his heart. You are struggling but you are also determined and your dad has a lot of respect for that. I'm also am proud of you and I love you too."

"I love you guys too. I hate that I kept from you all that I couldn't read. You were helping me so much; even back at the apartment and I didn't want you to think any less of me. Then you guys adopted me. You all choose to love me when you didn't have to. I guess I didn't want you to be disappointed in me."

"We aren't at all. Dad and I are both very proud of you."

"Can the babies hear us? I know Dad and Hannah talk to them."

"I think so. Why?"

"I think I have the first page to "Cat in the Hat" figured out. I can actually read it. I haven't memorized it."

"And you want to read it to the triplets? Why don't you go get it?" Lizzie got up off the bed and headed to her bedroom to get the book. She was back in a minute with the book and sit down next to Christine. She put her hand over where Liam was.

"Go ahead, sweetie. You are feeling Liam."

"The…s…sun…did…not…s…sh…shine. It…was…too…w…wet…t…to…p…play. So…we…sit…in…the…h…house. All…that…cold…cold…wet…day."

"Very good. Do you want to try the second page?"

"I guess. Liam is really kicking hard."

"He is."

"I…sat there…with…S…Sally. We sat there…we two. And I said…How I…w…wish we had something to do. Too wet to go out and too wet to play ball. So we sat in the house. We did no…nothing at all."

"You did incredible and these babies love it. Do you want to read the whole book?"

"Not right now. I want Dad to hear it. He's worked really hard teaching me how to read."

"Well you did great. You read the bigger words too without sounding them out."

"But not all of them."

"Well as long as I've been reading; I still sound the words out sometimes."

"Really?"

"Yep. And if you were reading silently, you wouldn't notice it as much. You're self-conscious of it. The babies don't mind and I don't either."

"They are really kicking hard."

"They loved hearing you read to them."

"I guess."

"I know. Tess is really kicking."

"How do you tell which one is which?"

"Well, I just guess given my last ultrasound. Liam was on my right side, Taya was on the left and Tess was kind of on the top."

"Oh."

"A mother just knows."

"I guess. My real mom hated when she was pregnant."

"I have always loved being pregnant. Even now; I'm uncomfortable and ready for these babies but I will also miss it. Once they're born, I have to share them with everyone but for now; I can choose when other people can feel them kick. I get to be a little selfish with them right now. I do love watching when people feel them kicking. They get this happy smile on their face. Your dad especially."

"He really already loves them. And you too."

"We do. But we will love them even more the first time we hold them."

"But you didn't get to do that with me and Adalyn?"

"No, we didn't but it is a different sort of love. We choose you. With Addy, Hannah, Lucas and these babies; we were given them and it is a beautiful gift but with you and Adalyn; we got to choose you. We chose two girls who were perfect for our family. A family is kind of like a puzzle. Dad and I form the outside and you kids are on the inside. When we lost Addy and Lucas, we lost a piece of the puzzle that we can't get back. The babies are new pieces that don't replace Addy and Lucas like you and Adalyn don't replace them. But you and Adalyn do have your own pieces in our puzzle. Kind of in the center and if we didn't have you; we would be missing some key piece of the puzzle and it wouldn't be such a pretty picture."

"That makes sense."

"Good because I made that up just now but it is true. You are part of our puzzle that makes us whole."

"I'm glad. I wouldn't want to a part of a different puzzle. I'd better get downstairs."

"And you'll read the book to Dad, the babies and I tonight?"

"Yes!"

"Good. Now give me a hug. I'm so proud of you and I love you so much."

"I love you too." Lizzie leaned down and gave Christine a hug and then headed downstairs. Christine thought about letting her surprise Mike but she also knew that Mike's days were pretty dark and dismal and decided to brighten it up for him, so she pulled her phone out to call him.

 _"Hey, babe. Guess what Lizzie just did?"_

 _"What?"_

 _"She read two pages out of Cat in the Hat. Actually read."_

 _"I wish I had heard it."_

 _"She's planning on reading the whole book to us tonight."_

 _"Good. What did the babies think?"_

 _"Well Tess is kicking up a storm and Liam apparently likes it too. Taya is kicking a little too."_

 _"They will love Lizzie."_

 _"They will. I told her that you're especially proud of her."_

 _"I am. I'm proud of Adalyn and Hannah too but Lizzie is so determined despite all the strikes against her."_

 _"That's what I told her. How's your day?"_

 _"I'm on my third interview. Twenty year old girl who was in the sex trade after the Red Flu. A client got mad because she wouldn't perform oral sex so he threw acid on her."_

 _"Oh wow. There are men like that?"_

 _"Apparently. It makes me sick."_

 _"How old was she when it happened?"_

 _"Seventeen. It's permanently scarred her but she is amazing. Her fiancée is here with her. Nice guy."_

 _"Good. I'm glad she found someone that loves her despite the scars."_

 _"They were high school sweethearts and found each other after everything. It's a nice story."_

 _"Sounds like. How many interviews do you have today?"_

 _"Just one more and I'm going to try and head home early. I need to work on some reports but I think I'll do that tomorrow. I need a break from the interviews."_

 _"You okay?"_

 _"Yeah. Just tired of it. I can't figure out why people are so cruel."_

 _"Because you wonder that means that you aren't one of them. You are showing those women that good people do exist and will give them a hand up."_

 _"I guess. It's just hard to see hear the stories."_

 _"I know, babe. But if it wasn't for you; who would it be? You are getting justice for those women. You've made arrests. And even on the cases that there are no arrests to be made; you've listened. You've believed in those women in some of the most humiliating moments of their lives. Just as you've done for me, for Lizzie and for Adalyn. And you are also doing this so Hannah, Taya and Tess never have to worry about being in this position. You are giving hope."_

 _"I suppose. It's just hard to hear the stories."_

 _"I know. I am proud of you and I love you."_

 _"I love you too. And I'm just a little proud of you and my girls."_

 _"They're proud of you too. So when can I expect you home?"_

 _"Fourish. Do you need anything?"_

 _"Chocolate."_

 _"Yes, ma'am. Anything else?"_

 _"My other craving is off limits."_

 _"Why? If I can get you something to help I will."_

 _"Carol was pretty against it. Plus I am huge and it would be logistically challenging."_

 _"Oh…that. If Carol wasn't so against it; I would figure out a way. It's just not smart with the babies."_

 _"I know. As tired as I am of being this huge; these babies need to stay in for a few more weeks."_

 _"They do."_

 _"I spoke with Carol earlier. She is really pushing for the C-section. I really wanted a natural birth but she is concerned about the strain on Tess. Her heart rate is lower. Not dangerous but she's afraid the birth process could put her in distress."_

 _"I agree with Carol. I know you prefer the natural birth process but I am afraid that the strain of three births will be too much. I know women have been doing this for thousands of years but it's worrying me. I only want what's easiest for you and safest for both you and the babies."_

 _"I know. It's just that when we had Lucas; the birth process was so beautiful and easy. An hour after I was admitted to the hospital; we were holding him."_

 _"It was stressful for this dad and husband though. I was worried I would be delivering him in the backseat."_

 _"You would have handled it. I know a lot of women don't feel this way, but to me the natural birth process is just beautiful. But Tess is more important."_

 _"She isn't the only one I'm worried about. I'm also worried about her mom and her brother and sister. I think this is the safest route for all four of you."_

 _"I know. She's thinking that I can go into August if we do the C-section. They'll still be early but not as bad."_

 _"And they will be okay?"_

 _"She thinks so. Babies have been a lot earlier and survived. She thinks Taya and Liam will be fine. It's Tess she keeps bringing up. She told me today that you need to have a few more lectures with her."_

 _"If it works; I will lecture her until she gets here."_

 _"I know. I'm scared."_

 _"Me too but we can't think like that. As much as Tess needs to buck up; we also need to buck up. We will get through this and have a strong and healthy baby girl. Actually, two baby girls and a baby boy. Tess will be okay."_

 _"I know. I guess with Addy and Lucas; I keep going to the worst case scenario."_

 _"I do too. Take a page out of your dad's book and pray. God won't strike the same family three times, would He?"_

 _"My dad would say that if it's God's will then yes."_

 _"I don't like that answer."_

 _"I know but it's correct. Speaking of Addy; the anniversary of her death is next week."_

 _"I'm going to take that day off and I've already spoke to the President about it. He understands. When he realized that his aide made that meeting on Lucas' birthday; he wasn't happy. I just told him I would not be in any shape to work on the anniversary of Addy's death. He told me he lost a child several years ago and still can't work on the anniversary or his birthday."_

 _"We still have to function; especially for Hannah. That's going to be the hard part."_

 _"I know. Babe, I love talking to you but I need to get to this interview."_

 _"Okay. Sorry I had more to say then I thought. I originally just called you to tell you about Lizzie. She does want me to tell Hannah why she isn't going to school. She's terrified that Hannah will think less of her. I did tell her that while you didn't play favorites; you were especially proud of her. Had a special place in your heart for her."_

 _"I wonder why my opinion matters so much to her?"_

 _"She's never had a father to speak of and it's kind of a novelty to her. She wants to impress you. Adalyn has had a good dad before and she knows what it's all about and Hannah has always had you and your love. I know and you know that Lizzie doesn't have to do anything for your love but she thinks she does. Your opinion is really important to her."_

 _"I suppose. Just wait to talk to Hannah and I will help."_

 _"Deal. I don't really know how to explain this."_

 _"Hannah has a big heart; she'll understand and want to help."_

 _"That's what I told Lizzie. You'd better get going. I love you."_

 _"I love you more."_

 _"That's debatable. Be careful._

 _"I will be. Eat some chocolate for Tess."_

 _"Taya likes it too."_

 _"Well for both my baby girls."_

 _"Bye, babe."_

 _"Bye."_

Christine hung up and realized that she had talked to Mike for an hour. She remembered her mom telling her that if she could talk to anyone for more than thirty minutes and still have things to say; it meant that the person could be a soulmate. Mike was definitely Christine's soulmate. Even after eighteen years of marriage; he still made her heart skip a beat. She was luckier than a lot of women because most husbands would not be able to get past what had happened to her.

As promised Mike got home about four. He came upstairs to change clothes and promised to bring Hannah upstairs while Lizzie and Adalyn fixed supper. Christine just hoped that Hannah would understand Lizzie's reason for not wanting to go to school. Mike and Hannah finally came in and settled next to Christine on the bed.

"Am I in trouble?"

"No, sweetie but Daddy and I need to talk to you."

"What's wrong?"

"The reason Lizzie isn't going to school with you and Adalyn in the fall is because she is still having some trouble and your mom and I need to give her a bit of one on one teaching. She wouldn't get that at school. As you already know, Lizzie had a pretty rough childhood and she never learned how to read. Mom and I are working with her now on it but it would be really hard for her to go to school without knowing. Kids would pick on her and would be mean. Lizzie asked not to go and your mom and I agree. She didn't want you to know because she's embarrassed by it."

"Why didn't anyone teach her?"

"I don't know, sweetie."

"No one loved her like we love her."

"That's very true. So what do you think?"

"I think it's good that you and Mom are helping her and I want to help. I think it's important that we just love Lizzie."

"It's also really important that we believe in her. Lizzie has never had a family like this and we have to help her out. It might mean you listen to her read the same page out of a book ten times and not correct her. More than learning to read, Lizzie just needs love and encouragement."

"I can do that."

"She is really worried that you will think less of her. She adores you. You and Adalyn are closer but Lizzie has known you longer."

"I love Lizzie too."

"Alright. Do you have any questions?"

"No but can I have a piece of the chocolate Daddy brought you?"

"One piece so you eat your dinner."

"Yes, ma'am."

Christine handed Hannah a piece of the chocolate and gave her a kiss on the cheek before Hannah left the bedroom. The conversation had gone exactly as Mike and Christine both figured it would.


	37. Chapter 37

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 37

Christine managed to talk to Mike into letting her downstairs Saturday. If he had his way, he would have carried her downstairs but she refused. She was still maintaining the surprise that Mike's old mentor was coming for a visit. Mike was suspicious due to the massive breakfast Lizzie was cooking and the fact that Christine had been so insistent about leaving their bedroom. Adalyn knew about the surprise but they had neglected to tell Hannah due to her inability to keep a secret. At five til nine, the doorbell rang and Mike looked at her suspiciously.

"Were you expecting company?"

"Yes. I just forgot to tell you. It's Jim Patterson. I tracked him down. You'd better go answer the door."

Mike gave Christine a huge smile and headed into the entryway. Christine would hear about it later but she stood up and followed him in. Both Lizzie and Adalyn looked concerned and scared. Mike shot her a look just as he got to the door and swung it open. Jim was standing there with his arms crossed.

"Moving a little slow there, rookie?"

"It's good to see you, Jim! Just didn't want to hurry Christine since she shouldn't even be off the couch."

"Chrissy, you are more beautiful now then you were all those years ago. If you ever get tired of the rookie, I would put myself on the market for you, but only you."

"I'll keep that in mind. Come on in. And thank you."

"Seriously, you're glowing. He's a sight for sore eyes, but not you."

"Geez, Jim, you have no self-respect. She's very married. I'm not letting her go. And yes, I realize she's way out of my league. And yes, she's slumming it with me."

"Just so you know. Let's get you sit down, Chrissy. Mike can help in the kitchen."

"No, thank you, Dad!"

"Yeah, Dad, we got this. Hannah, why don't you go in with them, please?"

"Yeah, sweetie, come in here."

"Can I sit on your lap, Daddy?"

"Yes."

"Mike, it's a good thing she looks like her mother. You are going to be a busy man. Christine told me that two of the babies are girls. I'd love to be a fly on the wall in a couple years."

"It'll probably start when Adalyn and Hannah go to school in the fall. Hannah, this is Mr. Patterson. He was my partner when I was a cop way before you were born."

"Hannah, its Jim. It's nice to meet you. I knew your dad back when he was a mouthy young cop and I was there when your parents met the first time."

"It's nice to meet you too, sir. My mom said that it was love at first sight for her and you made my dad give her his number. Is that true?"

"You bet. But it didn't take a lot of convincing either because your dad was totally smitten too."

"Smitten?"

"Hannah, he means that I had fallen in love with your mom too. I wanted to get to know her better."

"Oh. Mom said that he was her Prince Charming."

"Oh, Hannah. You just gave a dog a bone."

"Daddy, we don't have a dog."

"Yeah, that's a little too syrupy sweet for me. Hannah, maybe you need a puppy?"

"JIM!"

"What, you live on a farm?"

"I want one. We have a kitty. Her name is Snickers but she stays inside. She caught a mouse last week. She put him in my dad's boot for work."

"Is that a fact? Did he scream like a little girl?"

"Kinda. He threw the boot down and Adalyn had to get the mouse out."

"Hannah! In my defense, I had to get to work. I didn't have time to deal with the mouse so I just put a different pair of boots on."

"So, you say. I think Hannah and I are going to get along just fine. Although she does seem a bit partial to you, Mike."

"She's thoroughly a momma's girl."

"She loves her daddy too. She just can't sit in my lap right now."

"I love Daddy but I like Mom best."

"Wow, I feel so much better. Hannah, you're killing me."

"But at least she loves you, Mike."

"Yeah. I suppose. I'm a little hurt, though. Girls, is breakfast ready?"

"Yes, Dad."

"Chrissy, stay put and I'll bring you a plate. Jim, follow me?"

"Hannah, stay here with me."

Mike and Jim headed into the dining room where Lizzie and Adalyn had the food set up. As soon as they were out of earshot, Christine pulled Hannah to her and sit her next to where she was laying.

"Sweetie, I know we were all joking but I think you hurt your daddy's feelings. I know you love him but you kind of implied that you didn't like him." Hannah's eyes filled with tears and her chin was trembling. Christine knew that she hadn't meant it like it sounded but Hannah was also very sensitive and knowing that she had hurt Mike, even not intentionally, broke her heart.

"I didn't mean to hurt his feelings. Is he going to hate me now?"

"No, of course not. He loves you so, so much. Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. How do I fix it?"

"My advice is to wait until Jim leaves, and maybe write him a note. He knows you love him and that's the important thing. He's always scared that his relationship with you isn't as good. He's also having some problems because like you are a momma's girl, Addy was a daddy's girl and next week is the first anniversary of her death and Father's Day. He's a little more sensitive."

"I'm really sad."

"Because of Addy or because of what you said to your dad?"

"Both? I didn't mean to make Daddy sadder."

"It's okay, sweetie. Just be a daddy's girl this week. He's really hurting because of Addy."

"Okay but what about you?"

"I'll be okay."

"You'll be sad too?"

"Yes, I will but your daddy is still really hurting and I think the only way that he's going to get through this week is for all of us to love on him. Cuddle with him, spend time with him. Next Sunday is going to be especially hellish. I just realized it but the anniversary of her death also falls on Father's Day. We need to make that day extra special for him."

"Is Daddy going to cry? I've never seen him cry. Have you?"

"Yeah, sweetie, I have. And there is a strong possibility that you'll see it. Remember, you and I got a funeral for Addy but Daddy didn't so he may cry his tears Sunday. He has to go through this."

"What do I do? I don't want him to cry."

"Hug him and just let him do whatever he needs to do. He's held you a ton of times when you cried, now it's your turn to hold him. I think he's going to specifically seek you out. He loves Adalyn and Lizzie but until these babies are born; you're his only biological child that's still living and that he can touch. He is also going to miss Lucas. I know this is putting a lot of pressure on you but I want you prepared for it. We have a week from tomorrow."

"Are we getting Daddy a present?"

"I ordered him something."

"What?"

"I know all about you and your secret keeping. Not happening. But, if you want to make him something special for Father's Day, that's just from you, I'm sure that he'll love it."

"Okay. Can I go eat breakfast?"

"Yes. And please ask for my plate? And give Daddy a hug."

"Okay. I still feel bad."

"I know, baby and I also know you didn't mean it the way it sounded. Just remember to think before you speak because we are all going to be a little sensitive this week. You're daddy especially."

Hannah nodded at her earnestly and then ran into the dining room where Mike and Jim were talking. Lizzie and Adalyn were eating in the kitchen nook. Christine was hungry and feeling a little forgotten about.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, kiddo?"

"Mommy wants to know where her breakfast is?"

"Oh crud. Jim, give me just a second. Hannah, do you need help with your plate?"

"Can you cut that piece of casserole stuff for me, Daddy?"

"Yep. Where are you eating?"

"With Adalyn and Lizzie?"

"Okay."

Mike dished up both plates and headed into the kitchen nook and living room. He had picked up on Hannah being nervous about something but wasn't sure what. It had hurt a little bit when she said she liked Christine better but Mike had accepted that his relationship with Hannah would always be a little off. Too many deployments and not being home during her formative years had caused issues. He just hoped being home more would help. He settled Hannah next to Adalyn and walked over to Christine with her plate.

"You okay? I could tell you were a little hurt when Hannah said that."

"I suppose. I just wish I could go back in time and develop a more normal relationship with her. It's like I'm a novelty."

"Mike, she loves you and she knows that she hurt you. She didn't mean it the way that it sounded. Just remember that she's a kid without good processing skills."

"I know. Just hurts. If you want to walk into the dining room, I'll help you. You're in here all by yourself."

"It's fine. Its different walls, that's all I care about. Enjoy your time with Jim."

"We're just talking about the investigations. Holler if you need anything or if you want to go up to bed."

"I will. I love you."

"I love you too and thank you. It feels good talking to Jim."

"Good, I'm glad. You're welcome. Now, go!"

"Yes, ma'am."

Mike bent down and gave her a kiss and then walked back into the dining room. Christine looked over the back of the couch and noticed the stricken look Hannah had. She thought Mike was mad at her and Christine could see the tears in Hannah's eyes and so she gestured over at her. Hannah ran in and practically through herself at Christine and was immediately crying into her chest and was lying next to her on the couch.

"It's okay, sweetie."

"I made Daddy really mad, didn't I?"

"Daddy isn't mad. He's just visiting with a friend he hasn't seen in a lot of years. He adores you. Yes, he's hurt but not so much that he's mad or that he's stopped loving you."

"I hope not."

"I know it. Now, go finish your breakfast."

"Can I go give Daddy a hug first? I forgot."

"Yes. But remember to let him and Jim talk."

"Okay."

Hannah made her way into the dining room and Mike stopped talking when she came around the table and threw her arms around his neck. He was a little surprised by her sudden display of affection but still welcomed it and pulled her onto his lap.

"What's going on, sweetie?"

"I just wanted to give you a hug. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings earlier."

"It's okay. How about we talk some more later?"

"Okay but I didn't mean to."

"I know. I'm okay."

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you more. Now, stop worrying."

"Okay but you can't love me more."

"Don't make any bets on that." Hannah gave him a kiss on the cheek and jumped off his lap, running into the kitchen. Mike had to smile at her and then went back to his conversation with Jim. He had him talking about things that he didn't even know he had an issue with, including his marriage.

"It's amazing that you could produce such a sweet kid."

"Yeah, but she's all Christine."

"Thank God. So, Christine told me that she got caught up in the same ring as those girls. How are you with that?"

"She did what she had to do to keep our child alive. And it was under duress. She feels horribly about it and there are times that everything is a psychological minefield. She sees it that she cheated."

"But you don't? That's the important thing."

"No. I hate what she went through and I feel…guilty. I should have been back home so that I could have protected her from it. And I may have prevented Addy from dying."

"Maybe. Who knows? What's done is done. You can't go back and change it but you can learn from it. You are home now and it sounds like its permanent?"

"Yeah, I have no plans of redeploying. "

"It pretty well ended your career though?"

"More or less. After this investigation is finished; I will move into a training position. Advancement is not likely."

"You had big plans at one point. An Admiral? And being a Captain, you're fairly close, right?"

"Yeah, that was the end goal but when I found Christine and Hannah, Hannah didn't remember me. She was it. My last surviving child and she didn't remember me. That's not the type of father I ever wanted to be. So I pulled the plug. What I didn't plan on was adopting two girls or Chrissy getting pregnant with triplets but the fear is still the same. They need me home."

"I guess the question is; are you going to end up resenting them?"

"I'd love to say no, but I honestly don't know. Chrissy's biggest fear is that I will walk out and I'm sure the knowledge that I've effectively ended my career factors into that."

"But you're standing by your decision?"

"Absolutely. At the end of the day; it won't matter what type of Naval Officer that I've been or what I've done in the Navy. What will matter will be the type of husband and father that I've been. If I had spent as much energy being a better husband and father back before the Red Flu as I spent in advancing my career; Chrissy wouldn't have those fears and Hannah wouldn't just love me, she'd like me too. I also think she is still having trouble remembering me from before."

"But you have time to fix it now?"

"I do. But at a huge cost because Chrissy will always have those physical and emotional scars and Hannah and I may always have an odd relationship."

"Well, I can't give you any parenting advice since I was never one, but I can say; that little girl knows that she is loved by you and that is the most important thing. As far as Chrissy is concerned, no, you can't take those scars or memories away but you can take the fears away. I would say that you are already doing that."

"Slowly but surely. I think having the triplets is helping with that."

"Was that the plan? Triplets?"

"We'd planned on having a baby but not quite so soon. She was waiting on blood work and to gain some weight back but I guess I got in a bit of a hurry and forgot something one night. The blood work came back okay and the pregnancy has helped her gain the weight back. When they were found, Chrissy weighed eighty pounds."

"That's just scary. Now she looks like she might tip over when she stands up. I remember her being pregnant with Addy and thinking she was all belly then, now…wow. But she's the most beautiful pregnant woman I've ever seen."

"I think she's beautiful, pregnant or not. But she's absolutely glowing right now."

"She is. How are you doing since Addy and Lucas died?"

"It's rough. I had pretty well accepted that Lucas had died. I miss him, obviously and his birthday was hard. Next Sunday is the first anniversary of Addy's death and Father's Day. I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"It'll be hard."

"Yeah. I'm taking the Monday off after too."

"Probably a good idea. Sunday may leave you wrung out."

"I've been to Addy's grave and Chrissy had Lucas' name put on the headstone. It made is so…real. Having their names literally written in stone. Knowing that that grave is the closest I will ever get to them, at least while I'm alive. Aside from a handful of people, they will not be remembered. I know it's not an uncommon issue now though."

"Unfortunately that's the case. I didn't know your boy but I do remember Addy."

"Lucas was a character. Always playing a practical joke. He was only about five when he died."

"So young. And how old was Addy?"

"Sixteen. She would have been eighteen in September."

"She would have graduated high school and starting college?"

"Yeah but Addy didn't want to go to college. She wanted to join the Navy. She had her mom convinced that she was going to be going to college but Addy had other plans. Chrissy just doesn't know that."

"Always a Daddy's girl."

"Yep. Of course I encouraged her to go to college. I wasn't wild about the Navy idea."

"But you would have been thrilled."

"Oh yeah. It was unlikely but I always dreamed that she and Lucas would both join up and be under my command. It's doubtful that it would have happened."

"Maybe that's why you didn't have a problem going on shore duty. Addy and Lucas didn't survive and it's unlikely that Hannah will want to join the Navy. You'd be past retirement age when the triplets are of age and what about Adalyn and Lizzie?"

"I doubt either of them would want to join. Lizzie has had a pretty rough life even before the Red Flu and has some learning disabilities. Adalyn may have a somewhat normal life."

"Lizzie is an incredible cook."

"She is. She is a sweetheart. Her big goal right now is being able to read to the triplets. And she will. She read Dr. Suess the other night perfectly."

"Did no one ever teach her to read?"

"No. Her mom didn't care enough. Hannah says no one has ever loved Lizzie like we love her."

"She may end up with a normal life. You all have faith in her. That means a lot."

"I think Lizzie's future will be bright. And I am just fine with none of my kids joining the Navy. It's lost its luster for me and I don't want them faced with the same issues I've had."

"But, you aren't retiring?"

"I'm actually just not there yet. Financially speaking, it would be smart to stay in for a couple more years. I've been in for sixteen years. Twenty maybe the goal."

"If you're staying in purely for financial reasons, you're staying in for the wrong reasons. Would you have to get it a different job if you retired now?"

"We could make it. We'd just have to be careful. I love the Navy but my service has costed me a lot. In a lot of ways, I am staying in for financial reasons but my plan is to get this place paid for completely before I retire. I got it cheap and it won't be hard. Then when I do retire; the house and property will be paid for. Chrissy is frugal. With the triplets, she won't be going back to work anytime soon and I'm fine with her not working. As bad as it sounds, yeah, I guess I'm biding my time. The training facility will be easy and I will be home every night."

"You joined the Navy for financial reasons and now you're staying in a career you are less than thrilled with for financial reasons."

"It sounds crazy but yes. I have loved my career and time in the Navy but I will be done at twenty years. I've provided for my family, done some good, seen more of the world than I ever thought possible, met and served with some amazing people who have become family and made a difference. But I've also neglected my own family, killed more people than I even want to count, lived a little too roughly and seen things that you don't want to even imagine. The Red Flu brought out the worst in humanity but it also brought out the best. The worst being what happened to Chrissy, Adalyn and Lizzie but the best being that we got Adalyn and Lizzie and will be able to watch them have a normal life. We get to love them and have two amazing daughters. Yeah, we lost Addy and Lucas and that will never be made right but at least we get to make a difference where Adalyn and Lizzie are concerned."

"Fixate on those two girls. And despite the fact that you and Chrissy have lost so much and been forced to deal with so much; you're a stronger couple with a better marriage. You've managed to create three new babies and still have that sweet little girl in there. It's easy to concentrate on the fact that you've lost so much and seen so much but it's healthier to fixate on what you still have. And even if you are sick of the Navy; you will still be contributing to society. You'll be training tomorrow's soldiers and your experiences, both personally and professionally can help them."

"That's a good point."

"I still make them. I'd better get headed back to my place. Good talk, rookie."

"I stopped being a rookie a long time ago."

"Yeah, you did. I'll go kiss that wife of yours and say bye to those heartbreakers of yours."

"And you'll come back to visit?"

"You act like you never talk to anyone. Yes, I'll come back and when you all have those babies, you can visit too. The highway goes both ways. Chrissy has my information and I do expect a picture of those little ones."

"You'll be the first one I send a picture to. And we'll have to definitely visit."

"Great."

Mike and Jim walked into the living room where Christine and the girls were watching something on TV. Christine started to stand up but Jim gestured for her to stay sitting. Lizzie and Adalyn headed into the dining room to get the dishes to clean up. They hadn't wanted to bother Mike and Jim.

"Chrissy, you have your work cut out for you, putting up with Mike. Best of luck to you. Hannah, your dad and I talked about you all coming for a visit once those babies are born, I'll have a litter of puppies by then, I'm sure. You can pick one."

"Gee, thanks, Jim."

"Hey, now. This is between me and Hannah and given how much she's grinning, she's in agreement."

"Yeah, Daddy!"

"Besides a dog would be good around here. German Shepherd?"

"Okay, as long as it's not some little ankle biter."

"German Shepherds are good dogs. Good with little kids too. Protective."

"Yeah. Hannah, can you give Jim a hug? Chrissy, I'll help you up."

Hannah gave Jim a hug and talked for a minute while Mike helped Christine off the couch. He knew she would want to see Jim out. When she was finally semi steady on her feet but with Mike's arm securely around her to help her balance, Jim gave her a kiss on the cheek and a huge hug. The babies were all kicking strongly and it made him laugh. Christine almost hated to see him go because Mike seemed more lighthearted than he had in weeks, even months. He had bent over and picked Hannah up and was whispering something in her ear which had her smiling and nodding. They made their way to the front door to see Jim off and Mike finally sit Hannah down and gave Jim a hug.

Jim had left and Christine needed help getting up to their bed and Hannah seemed clingy. After getting Christine settled, Hannah handed him a folded up piece of paper and gave Mike a kiss on his cheek. She had run downstairs and Christine winked at him.

"She felt really bad knowing she hurt you. She's decided you are her 'buddy.'"

"Buddy?"

"Yeah. Read the note, Mike. I think I'm going to take a nap. The babies and I are tired."

"You okay?"

"Yep. All good. Read."

"Alright. Thank you for finding Jim. It did a lot of good to talk to him. I love you."

"I knew it would help. I love you too." Mike helped Christine turn on her side and rubbed her shoulders until he could hear her breathing even out. He opened Hannah's note and instantly smiled. There were happy faces, hearts and stars all over the paper along with a short paragraph.

" _Daddy,_

 _I'm sorry I hurt your feelings this morning. I love you but you're also my best buddy. I know you really miss Addy right now and I miss her too. I want to make you feel better so I'll start being a better Daddy's girl. I'll even go fishing with you, if you'll put the yucky worm on the hook and I don't want to touch the fish._

 _I love you and I like you a whole bunch,_

 _Hannah"_

Mike grinned at the note. It was sweet and very like Hannah. He wouldn't force her to fish since she was so opposed to touching the worms or the fish but the fact that she wanted to just spend the time with him made him feel a lot better. The whole day had made him feel a lot better.


	38. Chapter 38

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 38

The next Sunday dawned and it was rainy and even a bit chilly. It matched Mike and Christine's mood perfectly. They both laid in bed, staring at the ceiling for at least a half hour. They could hear the girls moving around downstairs and talking but neither of them knew what to say or what to do that day. Lizzie had really been looking forward to Father's Day and had planned a huge breakfast for Mike. She had asked Christine for help on Mike's favorite recipes and Christine didn't have the heart to tell her that Mike would be in no mood to eat or celebrate. She knew Mike would go along with everything just to make the girls feel better but he was having an incredibly hard day. They heard the girls making their way up the steps and Mike quickly wiped the tears off his cheeks and tried to compose himself.

Lizzie and Adalyn carried in the food trays while Hannah carried in Mike's present, the pictures the girls had done and Lizzie's handwritten(with Christine's help) note. Christine felt and heard Mike take a deep breath and saw the fake smile he plastered on his face. Her heart was breaking for him. Lizzie sit his breakfast tray in front of him and bent down and gave him a kiss. Mike returned the kiss and then gave Adalyn and Hannah a hug. As Christine suspected, he clung to Hannah and even pulled her down to sit next to him. Hannah seemed to understand and cuddled up next to Mike.

"Thanks for the breakfast, girls. It's delicious." Mike was picking at his breakfast and didn't seem the least bit interested in it. Christine clasped his hand under the blanket and squeezed it. She could only pray that Mike could get through one of the most difficult days of his life and keep up the act. She understood why he was putting on a show for the girls but it also wouldn't be the end of the world if he cracked.

"Daddy, I drew you a picture. I even put the babies on it even though we don't know what they look like."

"I love it. Thank you, sweetheart." Mike bent down and kissed the top of Hannah's head. Christine glanced over at the picture and her heart broke just a bit more. While Mike, herself, and the three girls and the babies were in the picture, Addy and Lucas were absent. Hannah had generally drawn them as angels in the sky. She hadn't even done that and Christine knew Mike would notice it.

"Dad, Mom told me that when you started training, you would need heavier thermal socks and I know how to knit so I made you a couple pairs."

"Thanks Adalyn. They're great. I will definitely use them." Mike gave Adalyn a hug and kiss and she sit next to Hannah on the bed. Lizzie looked like she was going to explode with excitement.

"I didn't make you anything. I just wrote a card. Mom helped me but I did it all on my own. The handwriting isn't very good though."

"It's perfect, thank you, Lizzie. Let me read it."

" _Dad,_

 _Thank you so much for everything you_ _had_ _have done for me. No one else ever did all this._

 _I love you,_

 _Elizabeth Faith Slattery"_

"Thanks, sweetie, I love you too. Handwriting is better than my own."

Lizzie leaned over Christine to give Mike a hug. She was positively glowing from his compliment and the girls were full of chatter. Mike spoke when spoken to, struggled to eat the breakfast that Lizzie had worked so hard on and managed to keep his emotions at bay. Christine also felt pretty emotional but knew that Mike was really struggling. The girls finally took the breakfast dishes downstairs, leaving Mike and Christine alone.

"Babe, just let it out. I know you're having trouble and I know you think you have to be strong. It's okay not to be okay. You don't have to be strong today or around me."

"I…I honestly don't know what to think. I know I have it good. A beautiful wife who I love more every day, three amazing girls who give me a thousand reasons to laugh and smile, I have these three babies who I already love more than life itself but I just want Addy and Lucas back. Addy is who made me a dad and she isn't here and Lucas was so young. Why? I don't even feel like a dad anymore."

"I wish I had an answer for you, Mike. Just because Addy isn't here, doesn't mean you aren't a dad. You are a dad to Lizzie. That girl has never had anyone that has ever loved her the way you and I do. She's never had anyone to believe in her, fight for her, pray for her, teach her or just simply be there for her. That makes you a dad. Adalyn, who has a had a good dad and knows what it's about could choose to just bide her time, and take what we offer to her. Instead she has become an integral part of our family. She knows we don't always have an easy time looking at her because of her resemblance to our Addy but she has forged a new place in our hearts with her beautiful personality, her upbeat spirit and the way she loves us. Hannah, that little girl has such an amazing little heart. She knows that you have struggled with your relationship with her and the last week; she's making a point to not only be your daughter but also to be your friend. Taya, Tess and Liam, they haven't met you and you haven't held them; but I know as soon as you do, you will be just as an amazing daddy to them. Every time they hear your voice, they start kicking. They don't know you but they already love you so much. And me? I knew the first time I saw you with Addy, and then when Hannah decided to like you and then again when Lucas was born, that you were exactly the man that I wanted to share my life with. I fell even more in love with you when I told you my fears concerning being pregnant after White raped me. I refused to have an abortion or put the baby up for adoption if I did get pregnant. You immediately said you would help me, you would raise that baby and love that baby. No questions asked, you committed yourself to a child. Thankfully, I didn't get pregnant from that rape but I knew that if I did, I would have an excellent support system just with you. No, the timing with the triplets wasn't perfect but you have still embraced it. Most men would have run away when they've been faced with what you've been faced with. This parenting thing is hard; it's heartbreaking, and at times maddening. This grief thing? God, it's hard and we both would rather just stay in this room all day and cry ourselves into headaches but we can't do that…well, I could but it's not a good idea. Mike, I can't think of a more perfect partner to do this parenting thing with or this grieving thing with. Lucas and Addy would not want us to feel like this. They would tell you to get up, get dressed and go downstairs and take the girls fishing. That is what you can do for them."

"I love you."

"I love you more. Now, I did neglect to give you your Father's Day present from me, the babies, those three girls downstairs, Addy and Lucas. And it's from all of us. Let me turn over, it's in my nightstand."

"I'll get it."

"Jewelry box."

"Okay." Mike wiped his tears off, gave Christine a kiss, opened the drawer and got the box out. He opened and his jaw dropped. It was a bracelet like band for his wrist, simple silver with several birthstones. Addy and Lucas's were in the center with his and Christine's on either side. On one side of the band was Adalyn, Lizzie and Hannah's birthstones, and on the other side was three birthstones, signifying the triplets. They would be born in August and so there were three peridots. It was surprisingly masculine and had taken his breath away.

"I don't know how it will fit into regulations for you for the Navy but I knew you would want to wear it all the time. I spoke with Carol to insure that the triplet's birth would be in August. She has scheduled the C-section for August 25th. And Amy is who made it. She is apprenticing with a jeweler so it actually got her credit too. I told her what I wanted and she made it. I didn't figure you would care about that. It was in my price range."

"It's absolutely beautiful. Can you put it on?"

"Sure. Probably not very masculine."

"I love it. I was just thinking that it was masculine. I love how Addy and Lucas's birthstones are between yours and mine. We need to get one made for you."

"Actually, I spoke to Amy; I just want the extra stones added to my ring. I need one for Adalyn and then the three for the triplets. I've gained enough weight back that I need to get it resized anyway so she's going to just wait until after the babies are born."

"Okay. I noticed you had been wearing your rings on that chain."

"Do you mind? My fingers are pretty swollen."

"Not in the least. Remember, I knocked you up."

"Yes, you did. And it was enjoyable."

"Just enjoyable? I distinctly remember you thanking me, telling me how amazing I was and begging me to do more?"

"Talk about ego. It was amazing. And I don't know what to say about your forgetfulness that night. It has given us triplets."

"You made it amazing and you kind of hurried me. You can be a bit demanding at times."

"In this case, I don't think you mind. Can you help me downstairs?"

"I suppose. You going up and down those steps worry me. You okay? Rough day for you too?"

"Mike, I don't think either of us is okay but I need to be downstairs. Around you and the girls. I know the girls want to fish but I can hang out on the front porch and put my feet up. I can't stay in here."

"Alright, if you're sure? "

"I am. At least the weather is clearing so you can get your fishing day with your girls."

"Yeah. Except Lizzie and Hannah hate the worms and refuse to touch the fish. At least Adalyn doesn't mind it."

"She grew up on a farm."

"Yeah. It makes a difference. Need help with you clothes?"

"You are so romantic. No. Its maternity yoga pants and one of your t-shirts. Thank God you're so big."

"Or that despite being pregnant with triplets, you're still tiny?"

"I don't think I can be described as tiny. Just short. And my short little legs are tired of this belly."

"You alright?"

"Yep. Just very pregnant. Would you feel up to giving me a foot rub tonight? I know it's a bad day but…"

"If it would help you, I'd give you one right now. You are having just as bad of a day. She was your daughter too."

"Just tired, Mike. Really, honestly has nothing to do with Addy or Lucas."

"Okay. What else?"

"You are too sweet. Maybe take the girls and go get some chocolate later. My toenails could probably use a touch up and my legs need to be shaved. You can say no though."

"And a bath? I know you said you didn't want to attempt that while you were still pregnant but it might help. I'll even throw in a back rub."

"Only if you get in with me?"

"Well, yes. That's the only way I would agree to it. A bath with my beautiful wife. Who am I to pass that up?"

"Phase two of the Father's Day gift?"

"Yep. Although I would do it regardless."

"I know. Let's get downstairs so you can spend some time with your girls. I'll keep my phone on me so I can text you if I need something."

"Okay. Easy, does it."

"Once, we get downstairs, would it be too much to ask for some iced sweet tea? It is kind of your day."

"I'll get you a pitcher and glass for the porch. And it maybe Father's Day but I wouldn't be a dad if it wasn't for you."

"Same goes for me. I wouldn't be a mom if it wasn't for you. Woo-hoo, I'm downstairs officially! Now back to the back deck."

"Yep. Hey, Lizzie, do you have any of the iced tea made up? Mom wants some sweet iced tea."

"Yeah. I'll bring her a glass. Do you want some?"

"Just bring a glass and pitcher of it. You girls and I are going fishing. Mom's hanging out on the back deck."

"Okay."

Mike got Christine settled on the back covered deck. Thankfully it was screened in and had fans so she wouldn't get too hot and it gave her a perfect view of the pond. Lizzie brought out the iced tea on a tray with cheese, grapes, strawberries, apple slices and crackers. The young girl was nothing short of amazing.

"Dad, if I need to I can stay up here with Mom?"

"Nope, Lizzie. Dad needs time with his girls and that includes you. I appreciate you wanting to but it's your Dad's day. This tray of food looks delicious but do we have any chocolate."

"I knew I was forgetting something. Be right back."

"Mike, can you find me a book?"

"Yep, that was my next thing. Here's your phone. Use it. It's a bit warm in here."

"It's a change of scene. My feet up, this excellent tray of food, a good book, watching my handsome husband fishing with our girls and feeling these babies kicking. It's almost like Mother's Day all over again."

"You are too easy to please. Every day should be like this for you."

"Brownie points, Mike? Banking them up again?"

"Yeah, here's Lizzie. And what is Hannah wearing? A dress to go fishing in? I'll be right back."

Lizzie and Christine both started laughing when they saw Hannah's pretty pink dress through the window. Mike had walked her up to her bedroom to find some more suitable clothes and Adalyn came outside laughing.

"Hannah wanted to look pretty for Father's Day. Dad told her that while she looked beautiful, she needed to look messy for Father's Day. Somehow, I figure she'll still manage to incorporate pink something into her outfit."

"She has always been like that. During kindergarten, she refused to wear pants to school. It was dresses every day. The only problem was that sometimes she isn't very ladylike. I learned really quickly that she needed to wear leggings too."

"Uh oh. This sounds like an interesting story."

"She was playing on the jungle gym and had somehow hung herself off it by her feet. You can imagine what her dress did. Her teacher called me and told me that I could get leggings at the Target three for ten bucks. I went immediately. Got a pair in every color so Hannah wouldn't throw a fit about them not matching."

"She is a clothes horse. Adalyn and I share clothes but Hannah is still small. I think her heart broke when you told her Dad was taking her school shopping."

"Yeah, I just can't do it before the babies get here. I may see if Carol or Grace will help."

"There they are. Hannah looks mad and Dad looks upset."

"Girls, can you go inside for a minute. I'll figure out what's going on."

Both girls walked back into the house and Hannah rushed out, mad as a wet hen. She sit down next to Christine on the chair and crossed her arms. Mike had stopped to talk to Adalyn and Lizzie before coming outside. Christine could tell by his body language and the tone of his voice that he was upset and Hannah was completely sullen. He finally came outside and Christine could tell he was fighting back tears.

"What happened?"

"Daddy won't let me wear my sandals out there. He's being mean."

"Hannah, I told you, I'd rather you wore a pair of tennis shoes. There are bugs and all sorts of things. I want your feet to have some protection."

"I don't want to go out there."

"Hannah, I told you that this is Father's Day and your dad decides what he wants to do. Lizzie doesn't like fishing either but she's going out there with your dad. It won't hurt you to go out and spend some time with your daddy."

"I don't want to."

"Chrissy, don't worry about it. I'll just take the two older girls out. When Hannah's calmed down, I'll find something for the two of us to do."

"Mike, you really wanted to go fishing with all three girls. You've looked forward to it all week."

"I don't want to go out later with Daddy either. He's being mean and stupid and I hate him."

"HANNAH! Go to your room now!" Christine smacked her on the behind hard and pushed her to the door. Mike had an absolutely stricken look on his face and honestly looked like he might dissolve into tears. He tried to catch Hannah as she ran by but she punched him on the stomach and then went inside. Adalyn and Lizzie were in the kitchen nook and looked absolutely horrified. Adalyn followed Hannah up the stairs but Lizzie looked a little lost and finally came outside. Mike had sat down on one of the chairs and had just closed his eyes. The tears were rolling down his cheeks and both Christine and Lizzie could hear him sobbing into his hand. Christine stood up and hugged Mike close. Lizzie still looked totally lost but she knelt down in front of Mike and took both his hands in hers. Christine decided to just let Lizzie do the talking.

"Dad, Hannah doesn't really feel like that. She loves you. You're her buddy."

"Mike, she's right. I know today is a bad day for all of us but Hannah doesn't really think that." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Adalyn bound down the steps and run towards the deck. Christine was immediately worried.

"She fell. She was tryin' to get something off the top shelf of her closet and the chair tipped. I tried to stop her but she hit her head and her arms looks strange. She woke up but she fell back asleep. I…"

Mike immediately jumped up and ran into the house. Christine made her way into the house, followed by both the girls. She could hear Mike upstairs but she knew she couldn't get up the steps by herself. She had never been so scared. About three minutes later, Mike carried Hannah down the steps. Fortunately she was conscious and seemed semi alert. There was blood all over her face and her arm was at an odd angle. Christine knew immediately that it was broken but she fixated on Hannah's face. Thankfully the little girl wasn't fighting Mike, and was even leaning into his shoulder a little. He had blood all over his shirt and still looked emotional.

"Chrissy, I need to get her to the hospital. I think she has a concussion and that arm is definitely broken. I know you want to go with, but you can't be on your feet like that."

"I know. Hannah, you listen to me. You listen to everything your daddy says. I know you're hurting but I can't be there. It has to be your daddy. Mike, I'll call Carol and have her meet you. Take Adalyn with you. Just call me when you can, please?"

"I will. Don't try and go up those stairs until I get home. I don't think they'll do surgery so we should be home by tonight. Lizzie, will you be okay?"

"Yeah, we'll be okay and I'll keep Mom downstairs. Sorry your Father's Day got messed up so bad. I really wanted it to be special for you, Dad."

"It was. Not your fault. Adalyn, you ready to go? Hannah, do you need anything?"

"No."

"Let's go, Dad."

"Alright, Adalyn, I need you to sit in the backseat with her and keep her talking. She can't go to sleep. Chrissy, I'll call you. I love you."

"Love you, too. Hannah, remember what I said. I love you."

"I want Mommy."

"Mike, you'd better just go."

Mike bent down and gave her a kiss and Christine gave Hannah a kiss on the cheek. She wasn't resisting Mike holding her but she was clearly not happy with it. Mike was handling her very tenderly but Christine could see the pain on his face. Thankfully Adalyn seemed like she was in pretty well in control of things and nodded at Christine. She knew that Adalyn would take care of Hannah if she didn't allow Mike to do it.

They left and Christine called Carol. Thankfully, she was already in the E.R. and would wait on Hannah. She instructed Christine to sit down and that she would take care of Hannah, Mike and Adalyn. Carol understood that Christine hated not being there and didn't judge Hannah's meltdown or Mike's reaction.

Christine and Lizzie spent the afternoon working on Lizzie's reading. She was working on a new book and wanted to read it to Mike to make him feel better. Christine worried all afternoon but knew that Hannah was in good hands. Despite the pain that Hannah had caused, Mike still adored her and would make the best medical decisions he could for her. Finally, around suppertime, Mike called.

"We're being discharged. Hannah's arm was broken but they don't think she needs surgery. Of course they're sending the X-Rays to an orthopedic specialist that Carol knows. For now it's casted past her elbow. The break is more a fracture just below her elbow. No concussion either, but she hates stitches and she hates me just a bit more."

"She doesn't hate you, Mike. Why on the stitches?"

"I held her down so Carol could stitch it. She didn't have the skin deadened quite enough and Hannah walloped me pretty good. I have a black eye. Cast got me. It's actually kind of humorous."

"If you say so. But Hannah doesn't hate you, Mike."

"Well, she said it again so maybe she does."

"I'll talk to her but this is a pretty emotional day for her too and she's in pain too. The big thing is, even if she does; it can't change how much you love her."

"I still love her. That won't ever change. God, I was so scared when Adalyn came out like that. When she said she kept falling asleep…"

"I know, Mike. Me too. How's Adalyn?"

"She's been a total rock. She's taking Hannah to the bathroom now and I suspect, giving her a butt chewing."

"That's my girl. Lizzie has fussed all over me all day and I would guess when you and Hannah get home, she'll do the same with you all. She's working on a new book. She thought reading it might make you feel better about the deal with Hannah."

"I appreciate that but the only thing that will help that is…I honestly don't know."

"Mike, just focus on the positive. It's there. Be careful coming home?"

"Will do. Do you need anything, I know I promised you chocolate, a foot and back rub, polished toe nails, shaved legs and a bath but I figure we'll have Hannah with us tonight…or you will anyway. She will probably force me to sleep downstairs."

"And I will veto that. I want my husband with me. And Hannah can just deal with it."

"Yes, ma'am. Here's the girls. See you in about forty five minutes. I love you."

"I love you too. Mike, lean down and give Hannah a kiss for me."

"I will but she's already punched me in the stomach and blacked my eye today too. Split lip? I will give my girl one thing, she throws one hell of a right hook."

"Like father, like daughter."

"Yeah, just never thought I'd be on the receiving end with her."

"Mike, it'll be okay. She loves you and you're her buddy. Get her past today and past the pain and I have a feeling; she is going to be really torn up about all this."

"I hope…I think. I hate to see her hurting."

"I know. See you in a bit."

"Yep."

Christine hung and waited impatiently for Mike and their girls to get home. Lizzie was holding dinner for them and had made Mike's favorite soup and one that would easy on Hannah's stomach. They finally pulled in about thirty five minutes later and Christine met them in the entryway. Hannah was walking on her own two feet and as soon as she saw Christine, she ran for her. Christine immediately bent over and hugged her. She finally guided her to the couch while Mike went outside to get Hannah's sling.

"What's wrong, Sweetie, are you hurting?"

"Yes, but it's not that."

"What then?"

"I really hurt Daddy's feelings and he probably hates me."

"No, sweetie, he doesn't. He was telling me on the phone earlier how much he loves you and how proud he is of you."

"But did you see his eye? I did that."

"You did and you can't do it again. You also punched him in the stomach earlier. But you're daddy loves you so, so much. You know you can fix it?"

"How? I want to."

"As soon as he comes back in, give him a hug and tell him that you're sorry and that you love him."

"That's all?"

"Yep. That easy." Hannah nodded at her earnestly and went to the door to wait on Mike to come in. When he finally did walk in, he bent over to see what she needed and she immediately wrapped her one good arm around him and whispered something in his ear. Christine saw the slight smile on his face. He picked Hannah up and walked towards the living room with her. He looked a lot lighter than he had before.


	39. Chapter 39

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 39

Getting Hannah settled was harder than either Mike or Christine figured it would be. She was in some pain which made her grumpy. Whatever had been wrong between her and Mike had been fixed and she seemed satisfied to just be cuddled between Mike and Christine.

While Mike had been at the hospital with Hannah and Adalyn, he hadn't thought much about Addy or Lucas. He had been focused on his injured daughter but now all he could think about was them. Hannah had cuddled on his chest and Christine was on her side next to him. He could feel the babies kicking and Hannah's slow, even breaths on his chest. His eyes had filled with tears and he put his face into Hannah's hair. He had thought Christine was asleep but he had been wrong because she wiped a tear that fell down his cheek with her finger and kissed him.

"You're thinking about Addy and Lucas?"

"Yeah. I was just thinking, I would give anything to be able to do this with either one of them, one more time. Hold them, comfort them, and make them feel better."

"I think that's normal and it's a feeling that won't go away. I know I wish I could do that with them. I didn't really get to do that with Lucas when he died but I was there with Addy. You know, after she died, I felt like this horrible mother. Two of my kids were dead. And then Hannah started getting sick. I did what I did to keep us alive and so I went from feeling like a horrible mom to also feeling like a horrible wife."

"You aren't either. You're an amazing mom and wife. You couldn't have prevented them dying. And it's a two way street. I keep thinking if I had looked for you all harder, Addy wouldn't have died and you wouldn't have had to been forced into what you were. I couldn't have stopped Lucas from dying but I could have prevented Addy's death. And it's stupid because both their deaths were unpreventable."

"You blame yourself?"

"Every second of every minute, of every hour, of every day. For everything. What happened to you, Addy dying, Lucas dying, all of it."

"It isn't your fault. And neither of the kids would have wanted you to carry this around with you. They would want you to think of them and smile. Remember the happy stuff."

"I'm trying."

"So what did Hannah whisper to you? You were smiling and then you picked her up. I don't think she has let you put her down since."

"She told me that she loved me, she was sorry and that she wanted me to hold her. Of course, I couldn't say no."

"Of course not. I knew she would come around. And what she did is kind of a normal kid thing. I know it hurt badly but it is a little normal."

"Yeah, I figured that. She'll be eleven and she is definitely hitting that preteen stage. Addy was easy, I guess."

"Addy had her moments. But she was a daddy's girl through and through. You got her syrupy sweet moments. It's just the reverse with Hannah. I get the sweet moments and you get the leftovers. Just focus on the fact that she loves you and that you're her buddy."

"I guess I didn't realize that about Addy."

"And I would have never told you differently. She had the attitude down. Once the Red Flu hit and Lucas died, it was like she instantly matured. I hate that she lost her childhood before she died but I really depended on her. Then she got sick. I think she knew she was dying and I hate that for her. She was at total peace though. She just kind of slipped away."

"Addy would have wanted you to depend on her and I'm proud of the maturity she showed at the end. Most sixteen year olds wouldn't have been like that."

"She never gave up hope that you would find us. Can you imagine what she would think of all this? Adalyn, Lizzie, the babies?"

"She would be thrilled about the babies and I think she would have loved that we've adopted Lizzie and Adalyn. She loved being a big sister."

"She did. She was really torn up when Lucas died. I unfortunately didn't have much time to give him the time to grieve that he deserved but Addy did. Maybe she grieved for both of us."

"Have you grieved for him?"

"Maybe. When she died and I decided to put Lucas' name on the grave marker, it was hard. Kind of like a gut punch. And I guess I'm still grieving for him. Aren't we both going to just grieve for the rest of our lives?"

"Yeah. There will always be a missing link in our lives. No matter how happy we are; we will always wonder, 'what if,' I hate that I wasn't there for you when you were going through that. Grieving like that? Alone. It had to have been hellish."

"It wasn't easy but you also didn't have it easy. I could pause and let my emotions out. Once you knew about Lucas, I know you and I know you put your game face back on and went on about your mission. That was probably really hard."

"It was hard. There were many nights when I would be sitting alone in my quarters and crying myself sick. Real manly there."

"You were grieving. Who cares? I'm sure your crew understood if they saw you crack."

"I never did in front of them. So many of them had lost so much than, as much as me. It was Tom and I's job to keep the morale up. Tom did a good job but I struggled with it. And he knew it. I think he compensated for me, he knew I was having trouble."

"You're crew respects you."

"It was not a good time for any of us."

"Yeah but they looked to you and Tom for guidance and support. They got what they needed. They wouldn't have done the job they did without that."

"Yeah, I suppose."

"This is going to sound strange, but Master Chief is an ordained minister, correct?"

"Yeah."

"When the babies are born, I want him to…my dad called it 'dedicating.' It was to dedicate the baby's life to the Lord. Kind of like baptizing but not really because they would still make the choice to do that as they get older. It means that we would raise them with knowledge of God in their lives and several other things. I want that for them. My dad did it with Addy if you remember back but we didn't do it with Hannah and Lucas because he died before they were born. I never felt right about that. I've done a lot wrong, but I want to at least do this right."

"You haven't done anything wrong. I will call Master Chief and ask him. Maybe have him out for dinner beforehand so we can explain what we want?"

"Yeah. I know he's not the same denomination as what you and I lean towards but the theory is the same. And I like him. As far as me, I can only imagine what my dad would think of all this. I think he would be ashamed of me."

"No. Your dad would be proud of how you are rising above it. As I've said before, I'm viewing this as a father. He would hate what happened to you but he wouldn't hate you for it. I hate what Adalyn and Lizzie have gone through and maybe that's why I have been doing this investigation, so some other girl doesn't have to go through what they've been through, but I definitely don't hate them for it. I can't wait to see how they use it to help others and I do think they will."

"You know what Lizzie told me the other day? She told me that someday she wants to go to culinary school and then she wants to open a restaurant that hires women who have survived rape or domestic violence. She wants to give them a hand up. Especially if they haven't had the opportunities she's had."

"I can see her doing just that. She is pretty determined. That's amazing."

"She has people that believe in her so now she knows the sky is the limit for her."

"She did really good reading tonight. I only had to help her with one word."

"I hope a culinary school opens up so she can go."

"I hope so too. The food supply is getting better and it's only a matter of time."

"We need to start saving for it. Culinary school is expensive."

"Yeah, and what about Adalyn?"

"She wants to be a doctor. She has been talking to Carol a lot about it."

"That explains why she was so fascinated by everything Carol and the nurse was doing. Medical school will be more expensive than culinary school."

"I'm sure there will be scholarships for both. We will figure it out."

"Yeah, we will. Getting sleepy yet?"

"Getting there. I'm sorry you didn't get your foot rub. Hannah is kind of clingy."

"I don't mind. I really miss that bath though. Maybe tomorrow night?"

"Maybe. Depends on Hannah and yes, I was looking forward to that too."

"I'm looking forward to having a bath with you when I'm not massively pregnant. I know when I was telling you about my dream house, I specifically said that I didn't care about a bathtub in the master bathroom as long as we got a big shower but I am so glad we have that huge tub."

"Yeah and it will be good to bathe the babies in too."

"Wow, Mike. I was over here with my mind in the gutter and you were thinking all PG. I was thinking of all the nights we could have a bubble bath together and all the possibilities and you were thinking of bathing babies."

"We'll do both."

"Candles, music, chocolate, and lavender. It'll be nice."

"I agree but you can't tell anyone that I actually like doing that with you. Again, not very manly."

"Other men need to take notes and women would just be jealous."

"I just wish I had figured out how much you liked it long ago."

"I don't think I had figured it out until you did that recently. Maybe it was because you clipped and polished my toenails, shaved my legs and gave me a foot and back rub and expected nothing out of it? What was your reasoning?"

"I knew the back rub would feel better in the bathtub. Easiest way to do that was to just get in with you and have you leaned against me."

"And you truly didn't expect anything."

"Nope. Not that I didn't want to but I know it's not really possible right now."

"No and once we have the babies, getting five minutes to take a fast shower, alone will be a feat. We will be busy, and that is the understatement of the year."

"We will manage."

"It feels a little overwhelming right now. We have to get ready for the babies, get Adalyn and Hannah ready for school, and help Lizzie. I am still worried that she'll think that we only expect her to help with the babies. I don't want that."

"I think it's going to be how Lizzie is made up. She will naturally want to help. Her personality will dictate that. I'm glad I took tomorrow…today off. I thought I would still be emotionally wrung out but with Hannah breaking her arm; I wouldn't want you to have to deal with that alone."

"Yeah. I'm glad you'll be here. She is really snuggled up. I'm just a little jealous. I miss sleeping on your chest like she is."

"I would rather it be you. Although I do love her doing this. I wonder why?"

"She feels safe and comforted. That's why I always like sleeping like that. I do know one thing for sure, as soon as we have these babies; I'm sleeping on you like that. This laying on my side is for the birds. Biggest disadvantage of being pregnant. I don't get to sleep, essentially on top of my husband. I hope you never minded?"

"I don't. I just always wondered how you slept when I was deployed?"

"Remember that big body pillow I kept in the closet? When you were gone, it stayed on the bed. It just wasn't quite the same. No body heat, I couldn't feel your heart beating or feel your arms around me. The way, even in your sleep, you would kiss the top of my head. I really missed you then. At night when the kids were asleep. I am really glad you are home every night now."

"You never said anything?"

"Mike, you were serving your country. As much as I missed you, I was proud of you. You didn't need to worry about stuff like how I missed you at night when you were out there. It would have distracted you and potentially endangered your life."

"I suppose. We'd better get to sleep. I love you. Thank you for everything that you did today. I love this bracelet."

"I love you too and you deserved it and so much more."

Christine leaned up and kissed him and Mike put his hand on her belly and was rewarded with a huge kick. Hannah was sound asleep and had only moved slightly. It had been a long, emotional day and Mike was glad it was over.


	40. Chapter 40

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 40

Mike woke up to Hannah touching the side of his face where it was bruised up from hitting him the evening before. He could see the tears in her eyes and knew she was bothered by the bruise. He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. Christine was sound asleep next to him and he could feel the babies kicking. Hannah was still lying on top of him with her casted arm between him and her.

"What's wrong, sweetie? Is your arm sore?"

"It hurts but your eye, Daddy? It looks really bad."

"It's okay. Just a bruise."

"But I did that. I hurt you, Daddy."

"Ssh. It's okay. You told me you were sorry and that you love me. That's all I want. The bruise will go away in a few days."

"Okay, but…"

"Hannah, I'm fine, I promise. Do you want to sleep a little more?"

"Yeah and my arm still hurts. It feels better like this though." Hannah had the arm tucked in between her and Mike and he suspected that the body heat was what made it feel better. She also had a nice bruise on her forehead from hitting the chair. The deep cut was at her hairline so at least it wouldn't scar. Mike tucked the blanket back around her and kissed her again. The little girl still had a very worried look on her face.

"We can stay like this all day if you need to. I have today off work."

"I have another idea but I'll need help because of my arm."

"Okay?"

"Let's go fishing, Daddy."

"You didn't want to go yesterday."

"I was mean to you about it and I shouldn't have been. I want to go today but it'll be harder."

"Okay. Can Adalyn and Lizzie come too?"

"Yeah. Just like we were gonna do yesterday before I was so mean to you."

"Sweetheart, it's okay. Stop worrying about it. Let's sleep a couple more hours and then we'll go out. Just relax. I love you."

"You still love me?"

"Of course I do. That won't ever change."

"Okay. I love you too, Daddy."

Hannah fell asleep pretty quickly and with his free hand, Mike touched Christine's massive belly. He was rewarded with a big kick by Liam, he thought. As much as he loved his girls, he was excited to have a boy again. Liam was really kicking hard and Mike could tell it was waking Christine up. He pulled his hand back but her eyes popped open and she groaned.

"Oh…baby boy. You and I are going to be having a discussion."

"It's my fault, Chrissy. I woke him up."

"Is that a fact? Liam, are you and Daddy already waking me up too early?"

"It wasn't the intention but that's what happened. Sorry."

"It's okay. I need to go to the bathroom again."

Mike started to lay Hannah down but Christine stopped him. She slowly got out of the bed and waddled to the bathroom, rubbing her back the whole way. It made Mike feel bad for her. She was so tiny and her belly was huge. She was bigger than she had ever been for her other pregnancies and she had worked throughout her other pregnancies. This pregnancy though, she was on bed rest. Mike gently laid Hannah down and waited for Christine to come out of the bathroom. He was going to give her a backrub. She finally waddled out and smiled at him when she saw him waiting on her.

"I owe you a backrub and I can tell it's bothering you so let's do it."

"With Hannah in here?"

"She's sound asleep. I can carry her to her bed if you want me to though."

"Nah. Just leave her. If you want to know what I really want, it's a foot rub."

"Coming right up, my beautiful lady."

"You are really stacking those brownie points."

"Who knows when I will screw up enough to cash them all in. Do I need to polish these toe nails? They are looking a bit rough."

"Sure. This color. And here's the remover and some cotton balls."

Mike cleaned the old polish off, dried her toenails, and applied the new polish. After it had dried, he rubbed her feet and ankles and lotioned them. Christine had the most serene smile on her face. When he finished with her feet and legs, Mike got in behind her and started massaging her lower back. Hannah was still sound asleep and even snoring a little. Mike leaned over into and whispered into her ear.

"Bath later, hopefully."

"I will hold you to it. What's the plan for the day?"

"Hannah wants to go fishing today. Feel up to going downstairs?"

"Yes. She's been awake?"

"Yeah. She specifically asked to go. I think she's afraid of me not loving her anymore because of yesterday. I told her I wouldn't stop but I think it maybe a fear for a while."

"You are probably right. I think I hear the girls."

"I'll go check on them. I'm glad I took today off."

"Yeah, me too. I can't wait for your paternity leave."

"It will be a busy six weeks."

"Are you going to work up to my C-section and take the full six weeks off after the babies are born?"

"I don't know. If I can get their room put together before then, yes. After fishing today, I may work on the baby room."

"That sounds like a plan. I'm hungry."

"I will get you some breakfast. I love you."

"I love you too."

Mike checked on Hannah and left the bedroom. Hannah woke up when the door shut and Christine pulled her closer. She could tell Hannah was in pain and looking for her dad.

"Where's Daddy?"

"He went downstairs to get us some breakfast. You feel okay?"

"My arm hurts."

"Anything else? Your head?"

"No."

"Hannah, I am your mom and I know you better than anyone else. I can tell something is wrong and your dad told me that you were scared that he didn't love you anymore because of yesterday. Is that it?"

"Mmm-Hmm. He said he wouldn't ever stop loving me but I was so mean and his eye looks really bad."

"Let me tell you something about your dad. He loves with all his heart and when he starts loving someone, he doesn't just stop. He started loving you the second I told him I was pregnant with you and loved you even more the first time he held you. Yes, you hurt him yesterday but when someone loves like your daddy loves; he will forgive whatever hurt him and he will move on very quickly. He has already forgiven you and he needs you to move on from this. He doesn't want to be reminded of it. Be his buddy again."

"Can we still go fishing?"

"Yeah. He'd like that."

"Okay."

Christine gave Hannah a kiss on the forehead and was helping her feel the babies kick when Mike walked back in with their breakfast tray. As soon as he sit it down, Hannah jumped into his arms. He laughed and hugged her close.

"Is my baby girl feeling better?"

"Yeah. When are we going fishing?"

"After breakfast and I need to shower and shave."

"Yeah, you are kind of stinky."

"Gee, thanks. I love you too, Hannah."

"It's okay, Daddy. I don't mind. Can you be my best buddy again?"

"Absolutely. Let's sit down. You must be hungry."

"I am."

Mike sit her down next to Christine and then sit down next to her. Adalyn and Lizzie came in with their breakfast so that they could all eat as a family. Mike had warned them that Hannah had asked to go fishing and so as soon as the breakfast dishes were cleaned up. Lizzie wasn't thrilled with the prospect; but he knew that she would go out fishing for him. He only wished that Christine could.

Lizzie took the dishes down to wash up and clean the kitchen and Adalyn took Hannah in to change her clothes. Mike and Christine took a fast shower and he shaved while she fixed her hair and made their bed. Once they were done; he gently guided her down the steps. Lizzie was truly amazing because she had a tray of fruit, cheese, chocolate and crackers sit up for Christine with a pitcher of lemonade, a glass and her book on the screened in porch. Christine settled on the outdoor couch and let Lizzie fuss over her while Mike got fishing equipment out. Adalyn and Hannah came out finally and the four of them made their way out to the pond.

Christine spent her afternoon listening to Mike and the girls laughing and talking. At one point, Adalyn chased Lizzie and Hannah around with a worm. What she could see, she could see Mike helping Hannah with her casting. All three girls caught small fish and Mike caught several good sized ones, but they released them. About noon, Mike sent Lizzie back to the house because her very fair skin was burning. Both Adalyn and Hannah were darker complected and could stay in the sun longer. Lizzie fixed lunch and sit it on the screened in porch for them to eat together and Christine texted Mike to come back to the house.

They ate lunch and Lizzie volunteered to help Mike in the nursery. He had two cribs, a rocking chair, and changing table to put together and needed help. Christine suspected that Lizzie was wanting some time with Mike. He had helped her into their bedroom and she could hear Lizzie reading to him while he worked on the cribs. She would occasionally stumble on a word and he would gently help her. Christine loved listening to them talking and knew that Mike would be finishing the nursery up and the rest of the pregnancy would be devoted to just enjoying it.


	41. Chapter 41

**A Mother's Love**

Chapter 41

It was mid-August and Christine was absolutely miserable. Carol had decided to deliver the babies a little early because Tess was having some issues. Taya and Liam were alright but Christine could tell that there were concerns that Carol was not telling her or Mike. Mike was getting the three girls situated with Grace's husband before the C-section. Christine rested her hand where Tess was in her belly and decided to give her her own little pep talk.

"Okay, young lady, you listen good. You are about to meet me and Daddy and we need you on your best behavior. Daddy is scared and he doesn't scare easy. He and I already love you so much and we can't lose you." Tess gave her a firm kick just as Mike, Carol, Grace and a nurse walked in. Grace would also be in the room when the babies were delivered. Normally Christine would have only wanted Mike there but it felt good having reinforcements.

"Alright, we ready to meet these babies?" Carol looked at the fetal monitors with a smile. It made Christine feel slightly better. "Ah, Tess seems to be doing a little better, her heartrate is higher which is good. We still need to get her out of there though."

The nurse and Carol got Christine unhooked from the many monitors and started rolling her towards an operating room. Another nurse led Mike and Grace to separate rooms where they could change into scrubs and then get scrubbed in while Carol and the other nurse, Diane, prepped Christine. Christine had never been so scared. She heard Mike's voice from the next room, asking questions, and followed by the nurse's reassurances. For the first time in a few years, Christine prayed. Carol came back in from scrubbing in and introduced her to a pediatrician, a couple other nurses and an anesthesiologist. They had already given her medication so that she wouldn't feel anything below her chest. They put a curtain up so that she couldn't see what was happening. Mike got on her left side and Grace was on her right side; and they both grabbed her hands. Carol had warned her that she would feel pressure and pinching and it was pretty much immediate.

"Okay, Baby A, I got you. Welcome to the world, Mr. Liam." Christine could hear the baby crying and was straining to see him. Diane laid the baby on her chest for just a moment so that Christine and Mike could see their newborn son. He was absolutely perfect. Diane took him away to clean him up and get his measurements and check him over with the pediatrician. He was definitely letting his opinion be known. Carol was in the process of delivering Baby B.

"And here is Baby B. Little Miss Taya. Daddy, you are going to be a busy guy in a few years with all these heartbreakers. She's a little smaller than her big brother but she's a feisty one." Carol handed the baby girl to another nurse who laid the baby on Christine's chest for just a moment. Like her brother, she was perfect and Mike had tears in his eyes. The nurse took Taya to the pediatrician to check over and both Mike and Christine concentrated on Carol.

"Alright, Baby C. Let's get you out here to meet your cheerleaders. Christine, you may feel some pressure. Here she is. Doctor Phillips, I need you here. We need to be prepared." Mike kissed Christine's hand and they were both in intense fear. The sound of Carol's voice made both of them stop. They could hear Taya and Liam crying but they both wanted to hear Tess's cries. So far everything was totally silent. They watched the pediatrician carry a very still baby to a table on the other side of the room and heard the sense of urgency in his voice, instructing the nurses.

"Mike, go to her. Talk to her. She loves your voice. She needs a lecture from her daddy. I'll be okay." Grace nodded at Mike and Carol followed Mike over to the table where they were working on the baby. She was absolutely beautiful.

"Doctor Phillips, let Mike speak to Tess for a moment." Doctor Phillips looked at her in shock but nodded. They had found Tess's heart beat and she was breathing but she needed to wake up and start crying.

"Hey, Tess, it's Daddy. You need to let us hear that voice, now." Mike had taken Tess's tiny hand and wrapped it around his finger and he touched her cheek with his other hand. He heard Doctor Phillips gasp when Tess's eyes pop open and she started crying. She hadn't let go of his finger and was looking at him with a, "What, Dad!" look. She had pinked up and the nurse, after checking her over and cleaning her up; swaddled her in a receiving blanket and handed Tess to Mike. He carried her to Christine, who was holding Liam and Taya while Carol closed her up. All three babies were absolutely beautiful and Grace was snapping pictures. There was no good explanation for Tess's initial delay but she seemed perfect now. Carol had finished up and while Christine was sore; she was totally in love with the three perfect babies on her chest. Mike alternated between kissing her and crying over the perfect babies. They moved them and settled Christine in a hospital room with the three babies who were bathed and dressed in onesies. Liam had a blue cap on while Taya had a pink one and Tess, a purple one. The girls looked very similar while Liam favored Mike. For the first time, all day they were completely alone with three babies and Mike sat down next to Christine on the bed and held Taya close to him while she held Tess and Liam on her chest.

"I was rethinking their middle names." Christine gave Mike a kiss and smile at Taya who was cuddled on her daddy's chest.

"Yep, I'm good with his middle name changing. What to?" Liam's name was William Michael, but shortened to Liam. Mike had argued his middle name the entire time and Christine just smiled at him.

"Not Liam's. Taya and Tess's. Instead of Taya Hope and Tess Catherine, how about Taya Grace and Tess Caroline? Caroline is Carol's birth name."

"I like it. If that's what you want, I'm good with it. They are perfect like their momma."

"Thanks but he looks like you."

"Poor kid. It's a good thing because their mom is breathtaking." Mike leaned down and kissed Christine, this time on the lips. They were interrupted with Hannah, Lizzie and Adalyn running in with Grace and Dylan following them. Mike laid Taya back on Christine's chest and lifted Hannah up on the bed so she didn't jostle Christine too much. Adalyn and Lizzie were both on the other side of the bed exclaiming over the three babies. Mike cuddled Hannah close as she looked at three babies suspiciously.

"They look funny, Daddy. How big are they?" Hannah wrapped her non casted arm around Mike's neck and sit closer to him. They had suspected Hannah would have some jealousy issues when the babies were born and Mike wanted to head that off at the pass which meant making Hannah feel even more loved.

"Well, Liam is six pounds, two ounces and twenty inches long. Taya is six pounds exactly and eighteen inches long. Tess is our little one; she's five pounds, ten ounces and sixteen inches long. She had a bit of a rough start but she's good now."

"She's your baby girl now. What about me?"

"You still are too. I love you just as much as I did before she was born."

"But you won't want to hold me like this anymore." Mike could see the worry and fear in Hannah's eyes and so he gently picked her up and carried her to the couch on the other side of the room and settled her again. Christine nodded at him from the other side of the room. She knew what he was doing.

"Mom and I will be busy with the babies the next little bit but we still will love you and want to spend time with you. I still want to spend time with my buddy."

"Okay, if you're sure? I want to give Mommy a hug but she has the babies there." Mike picked Hannah back up and they walked towards the bed. He sit her down on the end of the bed and nodded at Christine. She immediately began handing the babies off to their older sisters and Grace so that Hannah could give her a hug. As soon as her arms were empty, Mike nodded at Hannah who crawled up beside Christine and wrapped her arms around her. He sat down beside them and pulled them both close. The babies were well taken care of and Hannah needed a little attention.

"How's my favorite eleven year old?" Christine cuddled Hannah close and kissed her cheek. The little girl would always be a momma's girl but she and Mike had forged a bit of a friendship that was just as precious. Hannah breaking her arm had been a bit of an ice breaker because she had to depend on Mike.

"I'm okay, Mommy. Is your tummy okay? It's not so big?" Christine smiled at the little girl's observation. She was right, she wasn't all belly now.

"I'm okay. I can't wait to be home with you girls and the babies. And Daddy, of course. Daddy has taken six whole weeks off."

"Daddy, we can go fishing?" Mike smiled and nodded at Hannah. It had shocked him when Hannah began enjoying their outings at the pond. He still had to bait her hook but it was precious time with her. They went fishing at least once a week.

"You bet, sweet pea. Mom has Lizzie and Adalyn to help her with the babies. I can spend all kinds of time with you." Hannah nodded and Mike could see she was looking at Tess with some vague interest. The tiny baby had woke up and Lizzie brought her over to Mike's side of the bed. "Want to help me hold Tess? She's awake and wants to meet her big sister." Hannah nodded and Lizzie handed Mike the baby who was just looking around at the world around her. As soon as she saw Hannah, she smiled at her. Hannah lit up like a Christmas tree.

"She smiled at me, Daddy! Tess was looking right at me and smiled! She has a pretty smile." Mike and Christine both smiled at Hannah. The little girl was excited for the first time all day. Mike carefully laid Tess in Hannah's arms and moved the casted arm to support the baby's neck. Hannah was in between Mike and Christine and was practically shaking in excitement. She gave Tess a kiss on the cheek which made Tess smile again. Mike could tell the little girl had fallen in love with her baby sister and given time would not be in the least bit jealous.

They had a lot of visitors that day, crew from the Nathan James, Tom and Sasha, Master Chief, women from the group. The line was endless. Finally at eight pm, Grace and Dylan took the older three girls home with them and it was just Mike, Christine and three babies. They had been fed and Mike had changed their diapers. They were sleeping in their bassinet. Mike had changed into a pair of pajama pants and helped Christine into a nightgown and robe. The nurses had checked on them and babies and Christine seemed to be doing just fine. Mike started to lie down on the couch but Christine gestured for him to lie back down next to her. As he settled she rolled to where her head was on his chest.

"I have wanted to do this the last several months." Christine smiled up at Mike who was watching the babies, especially Tess, closely. "She'll be fine."

"I was scared there for a couple minutes. That girl is going to be giving me more gray hair. I can already tell." Christine smiled and kissed Mike again.

"You look good with it. Me, not so much."

"You are beautiful, gray hair or not. How are you feeling?" Mike was gently massaging the small of Christine's back.

"A little sore. I will be glad to get home. I am already looking forward to a bath with you."

"Well, if the three of them sleep like this, at the same time, it won't be hard. I didn't figure they would be on the same schedule."

"Oh, right there, Mike. That's good. Liam is not happy with the bottle. I want to breast feed him." Mike was still massaging Christine's back and he looked towards the baby boy who had made his opinion of the bottle known.

"What's Carol say? She was pretty against you breast feeding?"

"If it's just Liam, I should be fine. The scars have healed and I'm healthy. He takes after his dad."

"How so?" Mike was trying to figure out what she meant when Liam woke up. He got up and got him, carrying him to Christine. She had unbuttoned her nightgown and positioned Liam. He immediately latched on and began drinking his mommy's milk hungrily. Mike started laughing because the baby boy seemed much happier already.

"He likes the boobies. He's a hungry boy." Liam detached just enough to give both Mike and Christine kind of a milk drunk look and then reattached. He had already figured out breast feeding and Mike knew that Christine would definitely be the baby boy's favorite parent. He finally detached again and had apparently gotten his fill. Mike burped him and then laid him in between his sisters, who were still sound asleep. Christine had repositioned her clothes and Mike laid down next to Christine again and she wrapped her arms around him.

"A year ago, I had to see client after client. I had been beaten already. I never one time thought this is where I would be a year later. Back with the only man I ever wanted to be with, with three new babies. Or that I would have adopted Lizzie or Adalyn."

"I was in the middle of the Med on the Nathan James. I had been stabbed and dosed with Nostos and was hallucinating and seeing you all. I had given up all hope as bad as that sounds. I would have preferred dying. It was easier than living because I had to live without you all. Now, I thank God that I didn't die. I still miss Addie and Lucas and those three can't replace them; but wow. I can't imagine being any happier." Christine nodded in understanding and leaned up and gave Mike another kiss. She cuddled closed and they both fell asleep.

Taya woke up at five thirty and after a bottle, burping, diaper change and some cuddles with her daddy, she fell asleep only for Mike to discover that Tess was waiting patiently for her turn when he returned Taya to the bassinet. Tess was more of a cuddler and wanted more time, which Mike didn't mind at all. Liam woke up at eight and immediately wanted Christine who had woke him when she heard him fussing. He was nursing when Carol walked in and immediately started laughing.

"How did I know the no breast feeding rule would get broken? Are you nursing all three of them?"

"Could I? Right now it's just Liam." The baby boy was nursing hungrily and looked at Carol, almost possessively. It made all three of them laugh.

"Not a good idea. I don't think you can produce enough milk. I think Liam will be a little piggy. As soon as he done; we'll hand him over to his dad and I'll check you over. Did you get any sleep?"

"Liam woke up at about ten thirty, I nursed him and he was out until just before eight. Mike got up with the girls. What time, Mike?"

"Taya woke up about five thirty and was back asleep by six, Tess was awake then." Mike took Liam from Christine which caused him to cry out. He apparently wasn't finished eating but Carol was on a schedule. She began examining Christine and asking questions. The nurse had also come in and was taking the baby's temperatures and vitals. They needed some bloodwork pulled and the pediatrician wanted to check Tess over a little closer.

"Alright, Christine, everything looks really good. Babies seem good too. As long as they check out; I think you all can go home this afternoon. I know Doctor Phillips wanted to check over Tess to make sure she is okay after our little scare yesterday. It's a bit sooner than we normally release momma's and babies but this isn't your first rodeo, so to speak. As long as you don't over exert yourself, you should be fine."

"Carol, what do you think was wrong with Tess? She seems fine now?" Mike was burping Liam but was still very concerned about Tess.

"It's not medical but I honestly think she was born, asleep and your voice woke her up. Her heart rate and respirations were normal, she just wasn't crying. It happens. I think she's good now. She's figured out she has two very loving parents and a couple big sisters who adore her. Tess is good." As if, on cue, Tess woke up but this time, Carol picked her up and cuddled her. The little girl was happy when anyone held her and Carol had a natural touch with babies. Christine decided to take that moment to tell Carol that they were using her middle name for Tess.

"So, Mike and I changed our minds."

"Don't tell me, you two decided to have more babies? I realize you make pretty babies but Mike; you need to give her a rest. It's six weeks even with the C-section, not that I expect that the two of you will follow that." Carol looked at them with a grin and they knew she was joking.

"No, and we won't be following that rule. Mike has been stacking brownie points this entire pregnancy and at some point, he'll get to enjoy that. No, it's about Tess's middle name."

"Yeah, it's Catherine right? Carol handed Tess to Christine so that she could get Taya, who had just woke up.

"No, we changed it. It's Tess Caroline. After you."

"I…I don't know what to say. I'm honored. You guys didn't have to do that." Mike laid Liam down next to Christine and took Taya so Carol could wipe the tears from her face. He gave her a side hug and pulled away to sit next to Christine.

"We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you and Grace. You've helped us in so many different ways. We both love you. And just so you know we changed Taya's middle name too."

"I have an idea…we can change Liam's middle name. William Dylan or William Peter sounds good…Or maybe William Thomas." Both Christine and Carol laughed at Mike. His aversion to Liam's middle name was pretty well known and it was the one thing that Christine was adamant about. Christine leaned over and kissed Mike, which pretty well shut him up. Carol needed to go to her next patient but she officially discharged Christine and spoke with Doctor Phillips to get the babies discharged.

Mike accompanied the three babies to the nursery where Doctor Phillips would examine them and hopefully discharge them. The nurse, Taylor, helped Christine get cleaned up and ready to go home. As Christine was laying out the outfits the babies would go home in, Taylor got their car seats ready.

"Ma'am, can I ask what happened to you? I noticed the scars."

"Sure." Christine hated telling the story but she felt compelled to tell the young woman. As she saw the shock and horror on her face, she also saw some understanding. It made her wonder if the young woman had a similar story.

"My husband and I got separated during the Red Flu and things happened. There was this group and anyway, I ended up having to do things. After, my husband found me and he says he understands and has forgiven me. I can't imagine how. He wants us to have a normal relationship and I want that too but how? Do you…never mind, too personal."

"Hey, yes, we have. Mike has been very understanding. Obviously, we ended up with triplets. Don't worry about it being too personal. Have you told Carol about this?"

"No, but I heard about the group she helps with on Tuesday nights. Rob tells me I should go, it would help me. I have Tuesdays off and could go but…I guess I was just scared of telling a lot of people about what happened to me. How do you tell people?"

"I don't. And you only will have to when you're ready to. I am selective in who knows my story. As far as being ready, as long as you feel safe with your husband, then you might surprise yourself. You and him are the only two that matter. Do you have children?" Christine sit down on the hospital bed and pulled Taylor to sit down with her.

"We had…a daughter. She died from the Red Flu. Rob wants to try again and I want another one but wasn't sure if it was normal to want to do that with my husband again. I miss him though." The young woman was staring at her hands and seemed almost ashamed of herself.

"And he wants to?"

"Yes."

"Well, my suggestion is…stop stressing about it. Rob will know what you need and want. And don't go into it immediately to try for a baby but as just enjoying your husband. That was my plan anyway but then Mike got forgetful one night and now we have triplets to show for it." Taylor laughed and Christine grabbed a notepad and pen from her purse to write down details on the group. She handed the note to Taylor about the same time Mike rolled in the bassinet with the three babies.

"Alright, we are good to go. Babies are perfect, but we already knew that. Liam is definitely a momma's boy." Mike smiled at Taylor as she made her way out and Christine stood up to take the fussy baby from his bassinet to nurse him before they left. Taya and Tess were sound asleep. Mike picked Liam up and held him while Christine adjusted her clothes to nurse the baby. Mike handed him to her after she had settled on the couch and he latched onto her nipple immediately. When Mike bent down to kiss Christine, Liam looked at him grumpily.

"He is definitely his father's son." Christine laughed at the look Liam gave Mike and stroked the baby's cheek.

"Yes but when I do that, it's more enjoyable. For you and I."

"I don't know. Momma's boy is awfully cute. Besides, you do this for a totally different reason. He needs this. Are you going to get the SUV? I'll finish with him and get the girls and him in the car seats and into their stroller." Mike nodded at her and kissed her and Liam again. Liam detached and Christine handed him to Mike so she could readjust her clothes again. While she was readjusting he burped Liam, checked his diaper and put him in his car seat.

After Mike left to get their vehicle, Christine quickly changed the baby's outfits and got them into their car seats and then a stroller. Carol came back in to help Christine and the babies downstairs. She had an escort with her who had a wheelchair for Christine. Mike had taken their bags with him and was waiting at the curb when they came outside. Christine jumped out of the wheelchair and Mike helped her into the front seat of their newly acquired SUV. Carol and the escort were putting the babies and car seats into the platforms for the car seats. It took some adjusting but ten minutes later; Mike got in the driver's seat and grasped Christine's hand. Carol and the escort had gone back inside and it was time to go home.

"Grace called; she and Dylan will meet us at the farm with the girls. You ready to go home?" Christine nodded at Mike and kissed his hand. She felt strangely better after telling Taylor her story and hoped to see the young woman. It had been a long year but Christine had never felt happier. She, like Mike, missed Addy and Lucas terribly but she was still happy and that is what they would have both wanted.

 **Okay, that's it. Done! I hope everyone enjoyed it. It started out so dark but I wanted it to end happily. Hope everyone enjoyed! Reviews are always greatly appreciated. And I've never had a baby, let alone C-section, so I might have been wrong on the medical stuff!**


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